Okay, here's chapter ten! Double digits!
This chapter was originally going to be longer and cover a little more, at the moment I'm currently using this as a way to procrastinate and avoid writing two 2000 word research assignments, and as much as I really really don't want to do them, I kinda have to. So I've decided to post what I have now, rather than make the update time that much longer (still sorry).
Also, I realised after I posted the last chapter that the little * * * I put in as a page break didn't post for some reason, so apologies for anyone that got confused when the scenes suddenly changes. From now on I'm going to use '~ bfoso ~' as a scene break, so hopefully that should work.
Thanks still to all those who continue to follow and favourite, especially those who takw the time to write a review, they are what inspire me to keep writing!
Still don't own Twilight, surprise surprise.
Chapter Ten
JPOV
"Jasper, get up and get dressed. We have to go."
I was jolted out of sleep by Emmett shaking my shoulder. The urgency in his voice told me not to argue and do as he said. I had no idea what was going on, but the clock on my bedside table read just after one in the morning, and anything that called for being woken up after one couldn't be good. After throwing on a hoodie, not bothering with a t-shirt, I slipped on my shoes and went downstairs.
Emmett was pacing back and forth in the kitchen, running his hands through his hair; he jumped when I came down the stairs. The look on his face was impossible to read, somewhere between fear and shock.
"Em, what's going on? You're freaking me out."
"I'll explain on the way, we have to go." He barely glanced back at me before grabbing his keys and heading out the door.
I deftly followed him, locking the front door on the way out and making my back over to Emmett's jeep, the headlights of the car cutting slivers through the darkness in front of me. As we pulled out of the drive, I chanced a look at Emmett's face, only just visible in the low light, and wondered if the feeling of dread settling in the pit of my stomach was justified, or if my anxiety was just getting the best of me. I got my answer a few minutes later when my sleep-clouded brain realised what direction we were headed in.
Towards Forks Hospital.
"Emmett, what's going on? Is someone h-hurt?" My voice wavered at the question, not entirely sure that I wanted an answer.
Without taking his eyes from the road, Emmett replied in a voice so quiet, that had I not been straining for an answer, I wouldn't have heard. "It's Edward. He was in an accident."
At that moment it felt as if all the air had been ripped from my body at once, leaving me staring blankly at the road ahead. I had heard wrong, I had to have heard wrong. My mind instantly remembered the message to Edward that had gone unanswered before I had gone to bed. It was unlike him not to reply, though I had chalked it up to the fact that I had ignored him, and now he was getting his own back. That's all this was, right?
As we pulled into a parking spot at the entrance to Forks General, my stomach felt like lead. With neither of us saying a word, Emmett and I stepped out of the car and into the night air, which suddenly felt about 100 degrees colder. A shiver ran up my spine, and I wrapped my arms around my chest, mindful of my bruised hand.
Unlike when I had been in the emergency room, the lobby of the hospital was empty save for a man mopping on one side of the room. I hung back as Emmett spoke to a lady behind the reception desk, not wanting to hear him say the reason we were here. This was just a lucid nightmare, induced by my recent anxiety, that's all. After a minute, Emmett gestured for me to follow him as he stepped into the elevator. My stomach lurched as we made our ascent, frustratingly having to stop at the second floor to let on a nurse. The bubbly blonde smiled at me as she got on, but I made no effort to return the sentiment.
We reached our floor and I stepped out after Emmett, leaving the smiling nurse picking at her bright pink nail polish. I followed in silence as a determined Emmett strode down the hallways, seeking I'm not sure what. Our destination became clear when we entered a waiting room, empty but for a man with his wife clinging to his side. Carlisle looked up at our entrance, and smiled without even a trace of it reaching his eyes. He looked exhausted. Esme didn't move from her place pressed against her husband.
Carlisle and Emmett exchanged knowing glances, before he squeezed his arm around his wife once and pulled away to stand. "Thank you so much for coming."
His voice sounded all kinds of wrong. He sounded and looked like half the man he usually did, with a small voice and lines etched into his normally young looking face, aging him beyond his years.
"Is there anything you need? No offence, but you look exhausted. I can go get coffee or something?" Emmett offered, speaking uncharacteristically softly, as though the room itself would shatter if he were louder. Esme nodded deftly as Carlisle gave Emmett their coffee requests. Soon it was just Edward's parents sitting on the waiting room chairs, and me, standing in the middle of the room, unsure of what I should do.
"Jasper, honey, come sit." Esme spoke for the first time since we arrived, gesturing to the chairs beside her. I took a seat and picked and the bandage on my hand, wanting so badly to scream at someone to tell me what was going on.
"Jasper, what did Emmett tell you?" Esme's voice was soft and sounded as if she'd been crying. Glancing at her bloodshot eyes, I confirmed the theory.
"He didn't tell me anything, just that Edward, h-he was in an accident…?" I lowed my eyes to the floor and sent out a silent prayer, hoping I would wake up from all of this.
"Yeah, honey, he was…" Esme cleared her throat and sat up a little straighter. "He's in surgery right now."
"Surgery?"
"Yeah, the crash was pretty bad." Esme shifted in her seat to face me, all the while holding Carlisle's hand. She opened her mouth to speak, but decided at the last minute not to. Carlisle took over speaking when Esme became to choked up to continue.
"We're not entirely sure of the extent of his injuries yet, just that he was brought in and taken straight to the ER. The cops came to our door just after midnight and said that there'd found his car on the side of the road. From what they could tell he lost control of the car and hit a tree. Most of the drivers side was caved in." Carlisle's voice was taking on a tone that Edward usually referred to as his 'doctor voice', where it became more mechanical than human.
"Is he gonna be okay?"
"We really don't know. We're waiting for him to come out of surgery."
Emmett returned sometime later with coffee for each of us. I lost track of how long we waited in the near silent waiting room, but it was probably at least two hours before a surgeon wearing green scrubs walked in through the double doors on the opposite side of the room. Carlisle looked up expectantly in his direction, and I held my breath.
"Doctor Cullen, your son is out of surgery, and is recovering in a room upstairs. At this point, it looks like he's going to be fine, but he'll need a lot of rest and he'll probably be out of action for a little while. He really was lucky to survive that severe of an impact with only a few broken ribs and a laceration to the head." I think we all collectively let out a breath at his words. "However, his spleen was ruptured on impact, and had to be removed."
"He'll be alright without a spleen right?" Esme voiced the concern I was thinking.
"He will be, it just means that he may be more susceptible to infection later in life. Because of that, we want to keep him in here to avoid risk of major infection for about two weeks."
"When can we see him?" Carlisle asked, the relief in his voice evident.
"You should be able to go up there now if you like." Carlisle thanked the surgeon as he left the room. The four of us sat perfectly still for a heartbeat, before I took the lead and stood up. I couldn't just sit here; I needed to see for me own eyes that Edward was okay.
Once I broke the stillness of the room, Carlisle and Esme stood and walked hand-in-hand down the hall towards the elevators, gesturing for Emmett and I to follow. We stepped into the elevator, the four of us occupying most of the space, none of us saying a word as we ascended further up through the building. Carlisle lead the way to a nurses station to find out what room we were looking for, and soon we stood in front of room 116.
Carlisle and Esme pushed through the door and I was about to follow, when a hand on my shoulder stopped me.
"Jay, you should give them a minute. He's their son." As much as wanted to argue, and demand that he let me go in there, I knew he was right, I did need to give Edward's parents time to be with their son.
Emmett and I sat on the floor outside Edward's room, ignoring the stares of nurses and doctors as they walked by. All I need right now was to be with Edward, and this was as close as I could get at the moment, so I'll be damned if I was going to move.
"You okay, Jay?" Emmett broke me out of the staring match I was having with a paint chip on the wall of the other side of the hallway.
"Yeah."
"That's convincing." Emmett had the astounding ability to appear completely calm in situations where other people were losing their shit. I envied it sometimes. I was about to tell him to shut up when Carlisle emerged from the door and looked around, before noticing our place on the floor.
"You guys can go in, we have some paperwork to take care of downstairs." It was as if Carlisle had aged backwards in the time he was in the room, no longer looking like the anguished man he was in the waiting room. Esme emerged from the room a second later wiping her eyes. The two of them continued down the hallway, hand-in-hand, leaving Emmett and I alone at the door.
As soon as I walked into the room, my heart clenched. Edward lay unconscious on the bed, covered in white sheets, with various tubes running in all directions. He looked so still that I had to watch his chest for the rise and fall to make myself believe he was breathing. I stood at the side of the bed and finally let myself feel all the emotions I had kept back since I had been woken up. I was aware of Emmett standing behind me, but not enough that I cared if he saw the tears that slipped down my cheek. I took Edward's hand in mine and relished in the familiar warmth it radiated. Behind me, Emmett muttered something about finding something to eat, before squeezing my shoulder and leaving me alone with Edward.
As soon as Emmett left, the tears began to fall faster. It didn't matter that the doctor had said that Edward would be fine – he was hurt, and that made the pain in my chest ten times worst. I sat down in the chair next to his bed, never letting go of my best friend's hand, and really looked at him for the first time since entering the room. His wayward copper hair was pushed to one side to make room for a large white bandage, and I vaguely recalled the laceration the surgeon made mentioned. Some part of me hoped it didn't affect his hairline. It was a stupid thought, given the circumstance, but Edward had always been pedantic about his hair. A noticeable bruise was beginning to show from under the bandage and down across his eyebrow, giving him a black eye and causing me to wonder just how hard he had hit his head.
Looking at the evidence of his injuries was starting to make me feel sick, so I lent forward against the bed and rested my head next to his arm. I closed my eyes and tried to focus on the warmth of his hand in mine, rather than the feel of the starched sheets on my face. I need to calm down, getting worked up and freaking out right now wasn't going to help anything. I focused on matching my breathing, which was bordering on getting out of my control, to the beep of Edward's heart monitor, three beeps in, three beeps out. I kept up that rhythm until it felt natural.
~ bfoso ~
I must have fallen asleep leaning on Edward's bed at some point, because I was woken up by a Carlisle entering the room, dressed in his hospital attire.
"Morning Jasper." He says, an amused smiled hinted on his face.
"Wait, morning?" I sat up, ignoring the cramp in my neck from falling asleep in such an awkward position, and looked out the window on the other side of the small room. The early morning sun indicated that I had obviously been asleep for a while.
"You fell asleep there last night, and Emmett didn't want to disturb you again. Plus, we needed someone to stay here with Edward while I went home to change for my shift. I convinced Esme to go home and get some rest before she picked Alice up from my sister's house. Emmett left to get ready for work a little while ago, he left his car for you and took a taxi."
I rubbed my neck as Carlisle inspected the various machines Edward was hooked up to, before writing notes on clipboard.
"Carlisle?"
"Yes?"
"Why was Edward out driving so late? He usually hates driving at night, normally he gets me to." That was a question that had been bugging me for a while now.
"He, um, he was on his way to your house. He said he was worried because you weren't answering your phone." Carlisle seemed reluctant to give up the information, and now I could see why. It was my fault his son was in hospital.
"Oh god… I- I'm so sorry… this is all my fault." The sick feeling was beginning to rise in my stomach again, and I felt like this time I would actually throw up.
"Jasper, don't be ridiculous. None of this is anyone's fault."
"But he was driving to my house. Because I was too stupid and selfish to answer the phone…"
"Jasper," he says, walking around to my side of the bed and sitting carefully on the edge, mindful not to move his sleeping son, "Edward could've just as easily been on his way anywhere else, just because he was going to your house doesn't make this your fault. Okay?" He tone is matter-of-fact, and I try to listen, although I don't quite believe him.
"Okay."
"One more thing – are you alright Jasper?" Carlisle's voice becomes that of a concerned parent once again.
"Yeah, as long as he's okay, I'll be fine-"
"No, no, I don't mean because of what happened last night. I mean in general. Because punching walls and not answering phone calls tends to suggest that you're not okay? You know that Esme and I care about you, and you can talk to either of us if you need to." Carlisle gives me the kind of soft and reassuring look Mama would probably give me, were she here. It makes me feel guilty in a whole new way.
"Yeah, I do. I'm fine, really Carlisle, I am. A-and thank you, for everything."
"Okay," he places a hand on my shoulder and nods, "I have to finish my rounds, but you're welcome to stay as long as you like, I've told the nurses that you're with me. If you need anything, go to the nurses station down the hall and ask for Clara, she should be able to find me."
I nod in understanding, as he hangs the clipboard back on the end of the bed. Carlisle leans over Edward and lightly kisses the un-bandaged side of his forehead, before leaving the room, leaving me alone once again with Edward.
Despite his father's reassuring words, I can't help but feel a pang of guilt over the reason Edward was on the road last night. Leaning back against the bed, I rest my forehead against my folded arms, taking a deep breath. Sometimes I wish that I had parents like Edwards. It's a shameful thought, one that I try hard to not to think too often when I witness the love and devotion that is evident between the Cullen's and their children. Even Alice, who was treated like a princess, yet somehow managed to not grow up into a brat. Most of me knew that my mother loved me, as I did her, but sometimes part of me felt like I was missing something. I was from a broken home, nothing could change that, I guess.
Still, sometimes it's nice to imagine I was part of Edward's family.
"Fuck, Edward, I'm so sorry…" my words fell on deaf ears, as the tears began down my cheeks, yet again.