Chapter 16-A traitor unknown

The weeks that followed where a mix of different experience's and emotions. She grew to love her duties within the bed chambers with her king, but found the rest of her royal life dull and controlling. She thought he was controlling before, she was wrong. He had guards around her 24/7, her food and drink tested for poison. Her rooms searched and her servants strip searched for any evidence of foul play. It even became worse when she had to follow her husband everywhere. He would not allow her to leave his sight, for fear his future reign would die with her. He knew something.

Lucrezia was sat reading when it hit her. Like a wrecking ball against a concrete wall it hit her. She ran for the closest bucket and it happened. Sickness. At first she thought she was physically ill but the terrible sickness returned through the days. She could not keep anything down and was worried. Her body was changing. Her breasts became sore and tender. Her moods were like a swing, swaying from one emotion to the other without any warning or cause. When she realised she had missed her monthly bleeding, her thoughts turned to one word. Pregnancy. She never thought of it until now. She never saw herself as a mother. Maybe she did know but she did not want to believe it.

In the end she could not deny it any longer, she called for a doctor. She sat and waited for the doctor to give her the results of an array of tests. She sat shacking surrounded by her ladies in waiting. They comforted and soothed her, but little good did it do. Lucrezia was scared, for she was still only a child. Young and still innocent in some of the ways of the world. She was tiny and frail and sure child birth would kill her. One lady in waiting had taken a soft spot to her mistress and Lucrezia found her a mother figure. She was a great deal older than Lucrezia but still an ageless beauty. Graced with auburn locks and hazel eyes. She sat by her Queens side and stroked her small china doll like hand. "My lady everything will be fine", she ushered with all the grace of a mother to her child. "Thing's have not been fine, not for a long while Elizabeth", Lucrezia spoke with a gulp. She was right for a while things had not been fine. There was more to Loki's possessiveness then that of a cruel controlling monster, a lot more.

A few weeks back Lucrezia was sitting at the huge golden table dining with her husband. It was a warm evening for September, an Indian summer had struck the land. Lucrezia was in silence while her husband and her awaited their dinner. They received nothing but the finest foods from far off lands and places. He sat gazing upon his young pretty wife and scanning the room. The servants, guards and the food that was brought on silver trays. Something was uneasy. Lucrezia did not sense it, but Loki did. He took to his feet and knelt before his wife's side. "You look beautiful", he softly spoke. His eyes wide and for once innocent. Lucrezia had to think twice to that remark for not once had Loki bestowed such a kind compliment to her. "Oh thank you, my lord", she replied.

A young boy brought him a glass of fresh exotic juice for the queen. Loki's eyes turned to the golden chalice. Lucrezia's hand reached out to grasp it. "Stop". She turned in hast to face her king. Her hand returned alone to her lap. Loki took to his feet once more and his eyes burned. "You, boy taste it". The boy was in shock and he seemed like a little lamb before the wolf. The boy was stunned and once more Loki snapped "Take a sip". His eyes glared like hot coals. The boy awoke from his state of shock and took the chalice in his trembling hand. The juice slushing about. Lucrezia watched on and dare not defy her husband. Like a doll she was silent. The boy placed the chalice to his lips and took a gulp of the fresh juice. He placed the chalice aside out of the Queens reach and stood silent as the queen herself. Loki watched and knew what was to come. Lucrezia was lost as the boy stood frozen to the spot. After a minute the boy began to weep and cry out in agony. Clutching his stomach and his face screwed up in pain. He collapsed to the floor and rolled about, begging and pleading for help, but none came. For it was too late. The juice was poisoned with the same magical properties as before. For a mere mortal there was no hope.

He clambered on all fours until he gave his last breath with a pure vomit of blood. The blood cascaded out in what seemed a torrent. The bodily fluid made Lucrezia scream she mounted to her tiny toes and ran to her husband, whom had just saved not only her life. But their child's. Loki with a handful of trusted guards took the Queen to her apartments and since that eventful evening Lucrezia was on lock down. She was constantly in fear and her life became a swirl of anxiety and control. The only time she ever felt safe was in the company of her king and husband.

The doctor emerged from a closed off tiny room. He was highly professional and cold. The Queen sat still and silent. Her ladies in waiting stood up. "My lady, you are with child", he stuttered. Lucrezia closed her eyes and took in a deep breath. "My lady? Did you not heed me". Lucrezia burst open from her lifeless state in a fit of fiery emotion. "I heard you, you old fool. Now leave me", she roared. Books flew off shelves and glasses smashed. The doctor left in such a state of fear, he forgot his equipment. "My lady be calm in your condition", Elizabeth soothed rubbing Lucrezia shoulders. "How will I survive"? Tears slivered through the blue of her eyes. Elizabeth took Lucrezia hands in her own. "My lady your not just a mortal queen, nor are you bearing a mortal child. In your womb nestled safely is a demi god", she spoke in a false state of glee. Lucrezia released her hands and walked to the window. "That's just it, will the child kill me? Will it be normal. Will it be my child or his heir? I am scared and confused. People want me dead, want my baby dead. What do I do? Do I run to Loki for his protection? Or fend for myself", her words broke into cries of a fragile child. "Lucrezia", Elizabeth ran up behind her mistress and took her in her warm embrace. "Who will tell his grace"? The Queen turned her head slightly to her friend and companion. "His wife", her words spoke like a true Queen.

Lucrezia took with her a blade in her skirts and made the dreadful walk to her husbands chambers. The gossip of her condition had escaped already, as the eyes of many fell upon her. She was about to knock upon his chamber doors when a guard politely informed her of his whereabouts. "Your grace he is in the garden, awaiting your presence". Lucrezia placed her trust in the guards words and for his sake they were right. She wondered into the beautiful garden that surrounded the palace. An entwining twisting escapade of mazes, fountains, trees and hidden pathways. She found her husband sat upon a marble bench reading. His favourite pass time. She took a deep breath and took a seat by his side. She was quiet and awaited his first word. He shut the book with a snap and placed it to his side. He turned to his Queen, calm and unmoved or unknown by the news?

"My lord, I must inform you", her words breaking again. "Inform me of what", his words cold but yet so graceful. They made her churn and ache as the tears made their way to the light of day. "My lord I am, I am", she stuttered through the agony of the tears. Loki sat calm and still. "Shhhh", he softly ushered as he brushed away gently some of the tears, that swamped her pretty face. This was very unlike Loki and made her feel uncomfortable. She took the dive and finally let the news out. "I am with child, your child my lord", she spoke whipping her puffy eyes. "I know", his words sterile and cold. Calm and collective, it confused her. "You knew", her mind was boggled. "Yes, I always knew", he took to his feet and held out his hand to his beloved queen. She obeyed and placed her hand in his. He lead the way through pathways and winding mazes. He spoke to her of his plans for his heir, but Lucrezia was still in shock. She hardly took any notice of Loki's words. She was scared and frightened. Confused and lost all in one. Loki knew this too. He addressed the situation. "Do not fear", he paused in motion and stroked his Queens face. "The child will not kill you, it will be gentle in your womb. For you are it's mother." His words made sense though plain they were. The child will love and care for it's mother, for the mother provides protection and a source of life and nourishment. A mother's love is endless and thus the child will feed off that, God or not. Mother is god in the eyes of her child. Lucrezia could sense something haunting in Loki's mind, a memory perhaps? She dare not ask, but in the end she did not need too. "My mother, though she not my own by blood, she was and always will be my mother, regardless of what has been and what is to come". His words soft, graceful and they left a deep impression upon Lucrezia. "She took me in as her flesh and blood, she did not judge me. She never cast me aside. Even when the truth did surface". He spoke gently but there was a sign of emotional anguish. Lucrezia took in every word and every detail. She did not know the King's entire past but had heard rumours. Rumours of rejection, betrayal, lies, war and being a bastard son of a frost giant. She felt his pain and took pity upon him.

Loki's words finally ceased and from his left eye a small frail tear cascaded down his face. His eyes burned in the intensity of the memories that followed him like a plague. They brought forth cruel tormenting emotions, that inflicted him deeply. Feelings of emptiness, hollowness, unloved and being unwanted. Who am I? Where do I belong? Lucrezia knew these feelings all too well. She could not contain her empathy anymore. She took Loki in her tiny arms and embraced him. She stroked his hair and face. Maybe it was her emotions, her condition or the moment was right? But she knew he was highly misunderstood. As was she. Monsters that were crafted by other monsters. Monsters that was made by the sins of other's cruelty. But deep inside they were beautiful, frail and crying out for love and understanding. They were both misunderstood. They were the same. Abused, broken, bullied, betrayed, rejected, hated, unwanted and above all unloved. He nestled into her arms and took in all the warmth and comfort she had to give.