Somebody wake me
From this horrible dream
Somebody save me
From this terror I feel

(Amon Amarth – Wrath of The Norseman)

Sirius

The year ended and Remus seemed to be gone again; only this time he had never said goodbye. Sirius didn't know what to think about that or rather, he tried to suppress all thoughts. If he let himself feel, then there was a whole storm inside of him; there was anger and disappointment and fear but mostly there was hurt because this was Remus he was thinking about. He waited. He waited for any sign of his friend but there was nothing and so New Year came and went by and January became February became March and the snow melted, leaving the city cold and empty, just like his mind. And just when he thought things couldn't get any worse, Sirius realized that until now, nothing earthshattering had happened until now.

»Petrifucus Totalus! «

»Protego! «

»Reductio! «

»Avada Kedavra! «

»Get Lily out of here for fuck's sake! «

They had not expected the attack. Sirius, James, Lily and Peter had sat peacefully in the garden of James' parents, when suddenly, Death Eaters had started to Apparate right in front of them. It was chaos but the worst part was that James' parents were inside of the house and that Lily, pregnant Lily, mind, was out here, endangered to get hit by a spell any second now.

»The Mudblood's mine! «. Sirius' blood began to boil; that was Bellatrix's voice. Blind with rage, he began to shoot any curse he could think of against the Death Eaters, while James fought his way through to the house to keep Lily safe and Peter lay on the floor, unconscious. Relieved, Sirius saw that James had managed to bring Lily inside. His next realization was, that he was now alone against six or seven Death Eaters. Gryffindor, where dwell the brave at heart, Sirius thought bitterly, before charging. Everything seemed to be in slow motion, Sirius set forward, casting Stunning spells as fast as he could, ducking under the curses of the Death Eaters. Then, a lot of things happened all at once. Four or five other figures Apparated into the garden, attacking the Death Eaters, a heartbreaking cry came from inside the house and one of the Death Eater's spells hit him right onto the chest. The impact took his breath away and he stumbled backwards, several steps, but he wasn't dead. Sirius looked down and saw blood soaking through his shirt. Another cry sounded in the house and despite the agonizing pain, Sirius ran towards the door. He entered the kitchen and almost broke down at the sight that presented itself. On the kitchen floor, lay Euphemia and Fleamont Potter, motionless, eyes wide open. James was crouching in front of his parents, his face strained in horror, covered in dust and tears. Lily stood behind him and it looked like she was unable to process what she saw; Sirius couldn't blame her. The pain in his chest got worse and he was very sure that the floor underneath him was covered in blood but he couldn't tear his eyes from the Potters. The Potters, that were so much more his parents that his actual parents had even been. The Potters, that had taken him in like a son and that had loved him unconditionally. Something exploded outside in the garden but Sirius didn't care. He couldn't. He felt his knees giving in and the last thing he heard was Lily, calling his name.

Remus

Of course he felt guilty for just leaving without telling anyone but somehow, Remus didn't even feel like they would particularly miss him. He had hardly seen them during the last month and his friends seemed to be getting along perfectly without him. Of course he knew that that had to happen eventually; they had never really needed him. When Hannah and he arrived in Russia, he tried his best no to think of Sirius because that really was the last think he needed right now. Hannah was quiet as they made their way through the street, looking for an empty street to Apparate safely. When they found one they Disapperated to the woods in which they had left their pack behind. It was getting close to full moon again and Remus could feel the wolf inside of him, fighting against his self – restraint. When they reached the clearing where they had last seen the others, the clearing was empty and there was no sign of anyone having been there lately. Hannah frowned and closed her eyes; Remus knew she was trying to sense her pack mates. In the meantime, he took a closer look at is surroundings. It had obviously rained not so long ago, the ground was damp and here and there still muddy but still, Remus had a feeling that the other wolves must have left much earlier than just a few days ago.

»Something's happened. «, he said and looked at the girl.

»What do you mean? «, Hannah asked.

Remus didn't answer right away, maybe the war back home had made him paranoid but he didn't have a good feeling here.

»I'm not sure. «, He muttered, then halted. At the edge of the clearing was a little cave, it wasn't much but even during the rain, the inside had stayed dry. Remus felt his stomach tighten; on the floor inside the cave was something that looked suspiciously like –

»Blood. «

»What? «

»There's blood on the floor. «. Remus pointed to the cave and Hannah immediately rushed towards the entrance to take a closer look.

»It's dried but it's definitely Thomas', I can smell him. «, she said. She looked worried and Remus couldn't help but feel a bit uneasy as well; although he hadn't had the best time while living with this pack, they had still treated him appropriated and much better than any other pack he had met the months before that. They had, after all, taken him in.

»Let's just hope he's okay. «, he said before they both took off into the woods on search for further signs. They wandered around aimlessly, for a while, before Hannah smelled something.

»That way. «. she pointed into the covert and then ran. Remus swore and followed her as fast as he could. Soon enough, Remus had lost any sense of coordination and merely hoped that Hannah knew where she was going. A hell of a werewolf I am, Remus thought bitterly while he was trying not to break his neck, getting lost in the woods. Suddenly, Hannah stopped and Remus nearly ran her over.

»Geez, give me a warning next time. «, he grumbled but shut up as soon as he saw Hannah's face. A look of pure horror mirrored in her eyes and although he really, really, really, didn't want to, he slowly turned around to see what she was seeing. The two werewolves looked down on a glen, a very harmonic and beautiful glen, if there hadn't been five heads, skewered on spiles building a circle around, what looked like a camp.

»What the fuck? «, was all Remus managed to whisper, once his brain processed the scene in front of him. Hannah whimpered quietly and then let out a deep growl. Remus turned his head to look at her; her eyes were narrowed and dangerously dark, she looked more like an animal than the small 16 - year old girl she was supposed to be.

»Don't «, he said, laying a hand on her shoulder but she shrugged it off and glared at him so that Remus stepped back a bit.

»You. «, she hissed and Remus immediately realized his mistake. Of course, Hannah would blame him because he was the one than had convinced her to leave her pack in the first place.

»Hannah, no. «, he said firmly, despite the building knot in his throat. He knew that that girl could probably shred him to pieces in no time and she didn't even need a wand. »Whatever you think I've done, I am not responsible for. I'm not. «

»You lured me away. You betrayed us all and I was stupid enough to trust you. «

Remus drew his wand, he didn't want to hurt Hannah but if he had the choice between being attack by her and attacking her first than he would choose the self - defense any time.

»Would you please think about that for a moment? It doesn't make sense. You've heard Dumbledore, you know about the war in England. Why would I come to Russia to attack a small pack that doesn't even has any influence in its own country? «

»What the fuck do I know? You could have millions of reasons and I don't give a shit. You killed my pack. You're going to pay for that. «

Remus swallowed hard and was just readying himself for Hannah's attack; when suddenly, a group of masked men stepped out of the covert, grapping both Hannah and him.

»Tsk, tsk, tsk, not so quickly. «, a could voice said. A tall man stepped in front of Remus, looking at him and then at Hannah with amusement. »Now, who do we've got here. «, he said with a wide grin. He. As the only person didn't wear a mask and something about his face made Remus' blood freeze; a pair of ice -cold, blue eyes pierced into him, his hair was long and dark with grey strands and his whole body seemed to be covered in scars. Still smirking he made a step towards Hannah and took her face into his hand, horrified, Remus realized that his finger nails were long and yellow.

»Pretty thing you are and still so young. «, he said leaning nearer with his face. Hannah looked at him like she was ready to kill him just by will power, when he their noses almost touched she suddenly spit him in the face.

»Don't fucking touch me you fucking freak. «, she said.

»And fierce she is. I like you, it's shame that you will have to die too but before that…«, he didn't end the sentence but alone by the look he gave her, it was quite clear what would happen before that. He turned to Remus, »And I know you too of course, although I believe I never had the chance to introduce myself properly. My brother was quite fond of you I must say and he was not happy that you got away. «

Those eyes. Suddenly, it struck Remus. »Greyback. «, he muttered and couldn't quite suppress a shiver. The werewolf laughed. »That's right, pup. You've met my brother. My name is Lycaon and I can quite see why Fenrir chose you. «. Remus thought, he might be getting sick. It was too much but still…he would not give up without a fight.

»What do you want from us, Greyback? «, he asked scornful as possible.

»Whatever let you think I would actually want something? We were merely curious who it was that dared to come near our camp, now seeing who we've got here it's even better. An alpha wolf without a pack and the long lost son of my brother. «, Lycaon looked like he had just gotten his birthday and Christmas present all at once and Remus felt his fear slowly turning into anger. He would not let this happen. He tried to jerk himself free but the two men that were holding him were too strong.

»Now I think that's enough for today. Chelsky, Pinior, show the puppy his new home. And you, «, he turned to Hannah, »you are going to come with me. «. Remus was half carried away because he still tried to break free. He cast a look towards Hannah and was almost happy to see her looking as him as well, for a short moment all anger was gone and Remus knew that she did not blame him anymore. She knew he was just as much a victim as her.

Sirius

Sirius woke up, feeling utterly miserable. His head hurt and his brain felt like it had been transfigured into fog. He didn't dare move, there was distinctly, throbbing pain in his chest. He wondered where he was and what had happened that had left him feel like complete shit when it suddenly hit him. The pictures of the fight at the Potter's house came rushing back and he winced, immediately wishing that he could go back to sleep.

»Sirius. Thank Merlin. «, a familiar, female voice was talking to him, telling him to stay still. Sirius wasn't sure who it was, just that it didn't mean danger and so he obeyed and closed his eyes again. More people seemed to be around him, talking to him, or rather, talking at him but he hardly understood a word of what was being spoken. Euphemia and Fleamont, he thought. He saw them lying on the floor, not breathing and his heart broke in million pieces. He felt tears running down his cheek but he didn't care. For once, he felt he had every right to cry.

»Padfood. «. It wasn't loud, merely a whisper but Sirius opened his eyes at once. He hadn't even noticed that all the people were gone. All of them, except James. He sat next to Sirius' bed and looked like he had just been through hell. His eyes were red and swollen and Sirius was sure that he, too, had been crying recently, his hair was too long and he hadn't shaved.

»Padfood. «, he said again, his voice hoarse and filled with pain.

»Prongs. «, Sirius responded.

There was nothing more to say. Absently, Sirius realized that James had taken his hand and was now holding it tightly. They sat in silence, looking at each other and crying until Lily came back in and Sirius realized that it had been her that had talked to him at first and that he was in St. Mungos. Without a word, Lily took James' hand and let him out of the room. She was back moments later, looking at him intently.

»How do you feel? Physically. «, she asked.

»Chest hurts. «, Sirius muttered. Lily nodded and took a look at the wound.

»That was nasty spell, I've never seen something like that before. «, she said and Sirius could tell that she was mostly talking to keep him distracted from his own thoughts. »You were out for days, we were afraid that - «, her voice failed and Sirius could see tears shimmering in her eyes. She continued working in silence, treating his wounds and then giving him a potion against the pain.

For the next couple of day, Sirius was mostly alone and he was grateful for that. His only visitor was James who would sit beside him every day. They never spoke much but it helped nonetheless to have his brother at his side. The cut on his chest slowly healed and Sirius could move again without feeling like he was being ripped in two. He learned that everyone, except the Potters had survived and that the Order took charge of the funeral arrangements. He was told that they didn't get any of the Death Eaters and that since then there hadn't been any further attacks. Sirius registered all of it but couldn't get himself to care, He still felt numb most of the times, like his brain refused to comprehend what had happened.

A week passed, then another and Sirius was still in St. Mungos although he was, by now, allowed to move around. He felt a bit better, the funeral had been hard. Half of the Order had been there, a few teachers from Hogwarts and people Sirius had never seen before. He was only glad that he had James. Lily was already in her seventh month and tried to avoid anything that might upset her any further and there still hadn't been any news from Remus. As far as they knew, he might be dead.

Remus

I'm not dead yet. I'm not dead yet. I'm not dead yet.

It was a mantra, Remus repeated over and over in his head for days, weeks, maybe even months. He didn't even know anymore how long.

I'm not dead yet. I'm not dead yet. I'm not dead yet.

After he had been brought into the camp, Chelsky and Pinior had beaten and kicked him until he had lost his conscious. When he had woken up again, it had been the middle of the night and he had been tied to a tree. His clothes and wand had been gone, his whole body had hurt like hell and the only thing he could hear had been the terrible screams of a girl. Remus had tried his best to shut I out or to simply fall asleep again but every time he had closed his eyes, images of Hannah had appeared, how she was being maltreated. He had not seen her again. Greyback's pack had kept him bound to that tree until the full moon and for once, Remus was glad that he never remembered much about his transformations. The memories were blurry but even that was enough to give him nightmares. He knew that that had been fights. Bad fights. He was the new one, and did not stand under anyone's protection. The next morning, Remus had been hurt worse than ever before. The following moons had been just as bad. He still had to sleep outside on the hard ground but he was not tied up anymore. He had also gotten himself some clothes but apart from that, Remus had nothing. This pack was brutal. Everyone was scared of Greyback but at same time, they also respected him because he kept them save. No one would dare to attack the pack, not even wizards. Remus tried to make the best out of the situation although he knew that every kind of open objection could easily mean his death. There were one or two, who Remus thought to be trustworthy. Martyna and Darius were both wizards and had only joined the pack because Greyback had attacked their old one and they had chosen this over their death. It was hard to communicate with them, because Remus did not speak much Russian and Martyna did not speak much English and Darius none at all but somehow they managed and Remus did his best to gain their trust.

It was the morning after another rough full moon when Remus suddenly realized that it be April or May already. He seldom thought of his friends back home because every time he did he felt a stinging pain somewhere near his heart. He had never said goodbye. That was maybe his biggest regret. He had promised Lily to be there when the baby was born and he did not even know if his friends were still alive. This was fucking war; everyone could die any day.

»Remus? «

Remus strained his ears. He tried to determine to whom the voice belonged.

»Remus. «.

It was a female voice. Carefully, Remus sat up, ignoring the pain in his joints and the rest of his body. It was still dim in the woods.

»Remus. «, the voice said again and this time Remus definitely recognized Martyna's voice. He saw two dark figures standing in the shadow of the trees; Remus went up to them, now curious what they wanted.

»You must go. «, Martyna whispered.

»What, why? «

»It is too dangerous. You must go. Greyback have a fight last night and we can help you to go now. «

Remus did some quick thinking. If Greyback got hurt last night he, Remus, would have a good head start.

»What about you? Come with me. «, he pleaded but Martyna shook her head.

»We stay. We help you go. You must go. «

»But - «, Remus began when he heard a distant noise from one of the tents.

»Go. «, Martyna said intently and pushed him towards the trees. She was strong for such a small person. »Go. Go to Moscow. Dimitriv Lettech, he help you. Go. «. And with those words she turned towards the camp and approached the tents. Remus watched for a second or two longer, before he realized that she was distracting the stirring werewolves and he ran.