Chapter 10

Feyre

Time seemed to slow as I watched Tamlin throw himself at Lucien, with everything he had. His sharp teeth gleamed in the soft light pouring in from the huge windows. The bright light of day had given way to the twilight of the evening and shadows seemed to gather in every corner of the world. I had seen Tamlin's temper flare before – had seen his power burst through the room, but I still felt true terror in my core. I tried to force my body to react – to do something, but I was frozen in place.

Lucien, nimble as a fox, dodged the first attack, moving so fast that even my fae eyes had difficulties following the movement. Tamlin adjusted his attack instantly and this time, Lucien did not have time to dodge it. Instead he blocked the attack with his left arm and blood sprayed as Tamlin's claws ripped into his skin. Lucien flinched, losing his focus for a second, but it was enough. Tamlin's right paw collided with Lucien's jaw with incredible accuracy. I heard the sound of bones crunching as the power of the punch caused Lucien to slam against the wall, across the room.
I watched in horror as Tamlin stalked to him, his beast form trembling with whatever raging emotions he felt. Lucien was up in an instant, clutching his now bleeding arm. His eyes were filled with burning defiance as he took a defensive position I knew all too well. He would stand his ground.

Tamlin read it too, and he let out an earthshattering roar, the sound travelling along my skin, into my bones. Lucien dodged another attack with a swiftness and skill that surprised me. I had never really seen him fight, and even though he was not nearly as powerful and lethal as the males of my own court, his speed was impressive.

My mind circled around a long buried memory of a time when I had triggered the same anger in Tamlin as I felt right now. I couldn't allow this to go on. Couldn't allow those memories to gain a foothold in my mind.

"Please." I heard myself whisper. "Please, stop." Lucien shot me a quick glance, but it cost him. Tamlin threw him to the ground and pressed his long, sharp claws into his chest.

"You will do as I command." The beast growled as the claws dug into Lucien's flesh, drawing blood.

Lucien struggled against powerful body pinning him to the floor and spat "I will not leave her. I cannot lose her. Not again." The pain in his voice hit me deeper than any physical blow. He had lost his faerie love all those years ago and I knew that another loss like it, the loss of Elain, would crush him. "I have to get her back."

Tamlin snarled, his sharp teeth now mere inches from Lucien's face. "You will obey the orders of your high lord."

I knew his answer before he spoke it. Knew the fire burning in his veins, the desperate fight for Elain. For his mate. He would give everything for her.

"No." Lucien answered, his voice cold and devoid of feeling. "Not this time."

I saw a flash of pain in Tamlin's fae eyes, before they were filled with anger and rage so deep that I wanted to run for my life and never look back.

He let out another roar, digging the claws in so deep, that Lucien gasped in pain. He was going to kill him, I realised. Whatever primal nature lingered in the high lords had taken over and Lucien was now a threat to the stability of his lands.

No. I didn't want Lucien to die. Despite everything, he did not deserve this. I felt my power blooming, filling my entire being, whispering to me. I had to stop this, even if I risked showing more than I wanted to. Tamlin had seen me shield before, so that would not come as a surprise, at least.

In the exact moment that Tamlin's teeth descended towards Lucien's exposed throat, I threw a shield of hard wind between them, while shielding myself as well. Ice crackled in my veins and the temperature in the room dropped drastically. Tamlin's jaws met with an impenetrable barrier and I would have laughed at the sight of him colliding with the rock hard surface of my power, had it not been for the incredible wrath that filled the room and made the manor shutter in terror. Lucien stared at Tamlin, shock painted on his handsome face. Tamlin whirled to look for the cause of the shield and as his eyes fell on me, I suddenly wondered if he was so far gone that he would lunge for me. I almost hoped he would.

"Tam, please." I breathed, stretching my hands towards him.

He shook his head, as if he tried to clear it and with that all the rage disappeared like dew in the morning sun.
"Feyre" he said in his guttural, animal voice.

"Please." I repeated, despising myself for having to use that hated word. "No more." I willed tears into my eyes and I was surprised at how easily they came.

His beast form shuddered and then disappeared, leaving the familiar shape of the golden haired high lord of spring in its place. I let out a small breath; he'd stopped. Tamlin fell to his knees, shivering, but I couldn't focus on him, not yet. I still kept the shield on Lucien as I rushed to him, falling to the floor beside him. I looked him over, but his wounds had already clotted. He had a nasty bruise on his face, where Tamlin's paw had hit, but otherwise he was all right it seemed.

"Are you okay?" I asked him, checking the cuts on his arms as well. He stared back, hollow-eyed and weary.

"No."

"Will you be okay?"

"Yes." He whispered, his voice unsteady.

I gave him a nod and removed the shield, which still held him in place. He stood in a fluid movement, the blood and tears in his clothes the only sign of the fight that had just occurred.

I finally turned my attention towards Tamlin, not knowing how to proceed. He would have killed him. Lucien, his friend and emissary who he had saved from the cruelty of the autumn court. Lucien, who had sacrificed so much for him and who was loyal to a fault. And for what? Because he wouldn't obey. Because he wanted to protect his mate. Tamlin had gone to extreme lengths to get me back, and yet he had no compassion for Lucien's situation. I wasn't even his mate. I seethed, wanting to slap him so hard that his head sang. But I knew I couldn't. I knew I had to play my part and forgive him. I could still be angry, though. Angry was good. Anger was exactly what human Feyre had felt.

Tamlin raised his head and looked at me, at us. "I… I'm sorry." His voice was raw and filled with emotion.

"You would have killed him." I said, shock lingering in my voice.

"I… I don't know… I never meant to." He finally looked at Lucien who stared back, equal parts of horror and pain showing on his face.

"Lucien..." Tamlin said his name like a plea.

"Tam… I know.. I…" Lucien sounded so beaten, so broken down that I wanted to scream at him. He had to stand up for himself. The defiance I had seen in him had been real, but now there was nothing left, as if the fight had sucked every ounce of emotion out of him.

"Feyre…" Tamlin said, voice shaking, "Please… Forgive me. I don't know what to do. I know she is your sister. I know. But… please, say something."

He was apologising to me, not Lucien? I looked from one male to another, shaking my head. They were too calm. As if this was not the first time a thing like this had happened. How many times had Lucien been a victim of Tamlin's temper when I was at the night court? I flinched at the thought, because a small, traitorous part of my mind whispered that I had caused this. I mentally shook myself. It wouldn't help me to think like that. I knew they were both waiting for me to react, but it was so difficult to even care. I was sick and tired of these games, of the flares of temper and the secrets.

"What do you want me to say." My voice sounded too cold and I forced myself to cup his chin with my hand, my ebony skin a stark contrast to his tan face.

"I don't know. Say that you hate me. That you despise me. Just say something" He said, pressing my hand to his face.

Murderer, liar, traitor my mind whispered and it was an effort not to let those words shine through my eyes as I looked into his green eyes. "I don't hate you. This isn't you. It is the king, pinning us against each other. We have to be strong." My voice was steady and as Tamlin buried his head at my chest, holding me too him in a crushing embrace, I held Lucien's gaze. His russet eye stared back, with a glimmer of the defiance that I had seen in him earlier. Good.

"Feyre." Tamlin mumbled against my skin, grazing my collarbone with his lips. His hands roamed freely on my back, possessive and strong. I pulled away a bit, to catch his eyes. He had to believe that I wanted this as well and that there would be time for it… Later. I poured every ounce of desire for Rhys into my gaze and whispered "Later." The words had a hollowness to them, so different from how they sounded when my mate was near.

Tamlin stiffened, then nodded. He stood, looking at Lucien and winced at the fading bruise on his face. "Lucien" Tamlin said, but Lucien merely held up a hand.

"It's done." he said coolly, brushing his tunic which, for the most part, was in shreds. Well, at least the burn marks I had left on his clothes were invisible now.

I turned to Tamlin, knowing that his guilt would make him vulnerable.

"Elain… We can't just leave her." Lucien stiffened but I continued. "We have to get her. And Nesta. Who knows what they are going through."

Tamlin made to speak but I went on "I'm not saying that we go now or tomorrow. Just… Don't give up. Don't make me give up on them. You made a promise, but I didn't. Maybe… Maybe we can use that." It was expected of me to fight for my sisters. And any chance to plan a trip to the night court was perfect for me. Tamlin stared at me, and I feared that I had pushed him too far. When his shoulders dropped an inch and he brushed a finger across my brow, I knew I had won.

"We'll try Feyre. I promise. But we cannot show weakness" His voice was drained.

I knew his twisted logic probably told him that Lucien going against his wishes to save his mate was treason and that he needed to uphold the law, no matter the cost. Just as he upheld the tithe because it was tradition.

Lucien whispered, barely audible, "my mate" and we both turned to look at him. The devastation on his face was so haunting that I had trouble looking away from it. He had been with Elain for only five minutes, and he already loved her. Was this how Rhys had felt when he saw me for the first time at Calanmai. Had he had the same look of pure loss when he returned to Under the Mountain. My heart ached for him and for Lucien and I realised just how strong a mating bond truly was.

Tamlin took a step towards Lucien, but before he could speak, the doors to the study banged open.

"Cauldron be blessed; you are all right." Ianthe breezed into the room, her billowing robe a pool of grey around her.

"I heard a large roar and felt the tremors even in my temple. I feared that we were under attack." She took in the room, noticing the claw marks, the disarray of the furniture and the nearly healed bruise on Lucien's face.

"Oh" she said, stopping near us.

"There is no attack." Tamlin said, his eyes narrowing slightly.

"Good" she purred, placing a hand on her generous bosom to emphasise her relief.

"I was so worried for you." The oiliness of her voice slid along my skin and I wondered how I could ever have considered her a friend. She had been manoeuvring me for her own schemes and was still trying to do just that. My lip automatically curled up in what could have been a snarl or a smile. Why was she even here?

"We're fine." I snapped through clenched teeth, my voice much harder than I had anticipated.

Ianthe gave me a broad smile that did not reach her eyes. "Good. If you're done with your little… squabble, then maybe we should talk about the mission to the night court. If we are to get the book and your sisters, it will require careful planning. I have been praying on it and…" Tamlin cut in,

"Not now, Ianthe. We will discuss it later."

"But we need to get Feyre's sisters out as quickly as possible." Her voice was too innocent. Cunning snake. She had probably been spying on us and knew exactly why Lucien and Tamlin had fought. And now she hoped to pit us against each other – again.

Lucien turned pale and before any of the males could answer and possibly start another round of fighting, I merely said, "We will."

"And when is that, exactly? You must miss them. And Lucien… Being away from a mate is not easy." My breath caught at the way she stressed the word mate. She couldn't know, because if she did, the king would have known too. Careful my mind whispered and I took a deep breath, letting some of the tension in my body go. I was a fairly docile fae lady – that was my role.

"Enough, Ianthe." Tamlin's voice sliced through the room with deadly precision. Another command.

She turned to him, her eyes roaming his body, taking in the hard muscles that were still taut from the fight. A predatory gleam settled in her eyes and she gave him a sensuous smile. "I'm sorry Tam. I just want to help dear Feyre." Tamlin's face softened slightly, but before he could answer, we were interrupted by a sentry who spoke to Tamlin, in a hushed whisper.

"I have to take care of something, but I will be back shortly. Dinner will be served in an hour." He was again a high lord, full of power and life. He gripped my chin and stared into my eyes, his other hand encircling my waist. "I love you" His eyes glazed for a moment before he pressed his mouth against mine, forcing it open with his tongue. I hadn't been prepared, and I immediately locked my feelings away, because if I let myself feel I would scream with rage and hatred. I despised his hands on my body, the way he forced himself on me, but with Ianthe, the sentry and even Lucien staring, I had no choice but to yield to him. I flung my hands around his hard-muscled neck and buried my fingers in the softness of his golden hair. His lips moved on mine, craving more and I gave it. They needed to see this and I could endure. Tamlin moaned slightly, pressing my body even closer to his until only our clothes separated us.

A nearly inaudible cough made Tamlin stiffen, then pull away. He had business to attend to. I gave him a smile, before turning to the others. Ianthe's eyes shone and her mouth was set in a relaxed smile, but behind that I was sure I glimpsed pure hatred. Tamlin gave my hand a squeeze and left.

The lanterns in the garden created dancing shadows on the tapestries in the study, that reminded me of laughter and joy and I was suddenly overcome with bone-deep weariness. I wanted time alone to gather my thoughts and sift through all the information I had gained today.

Lucien caught my eye and his expression no doubt mirrored my own. Tamlin had tried to kill him – probably would have if I had not stepped in. Had the pressure of the king's visit really been the trigger? Or had I just never let myself see the blind obedience he demanded of his subjects? I let out a small sigh and turned towards the door. I'd had enough. A long bath before dinner was all I wanted.
"So…" Ianthe drawled "when will you get them back?" With Tamlin gone, she let some of her innocent demeanour fade away, leaving cold calculation in its place.

"None of your business." I quipped back, but the words were not nearly as sharp as I had hoped.
She shrugged giving Lucien an innocent smile "I just figured that Lucien would be desperate. She is his after all."

"Shut up." Lucien snarled, stalking towards her.

Ianthe straightened, her features softening as she said, "I understand, Lucien. She is your mate, she should be here, with you. It must be difficult to think of her being in the night court, just as it was difficult for Tamlin when Feyre was taken from us."

"You don't…" Lucien said, his lips pressed into hard lines. "you don't get to talk about her. Or mention her. She is there because of you." Lucien's russet eye glared at Ianthe with such hatred that I actually thought he would attack her right there.

"I've told you, this was not what I planned. I never meant for anyone to get hurt." Ianthe said, her voice breaking on the words. The act was so perfect that I wondered whether she believed it herself. She placed a hand on Lucien's arm, but he ripped it away.

"Don't touch me." He growled. I moved to stand beside him, if only to keep him grounded.

Ianthe stared at him, her eyes wide with fake hurt.

"I know you're hurting. Tamlin was too, but he got through it and Feyre has now returned to us. You too, will get over this. I can help you…"

"Like you helped Tam?" Lucien spat in her face, focusing entirely on her.

Ianthe's eyes flicked to me then settled on Lucien. "I help where I am needed."

Lucien snorted. "You help when there is something in it for you."

"I pray to the cauldron and seek guidance. Sometimes, my prayers are answered."

I had never seen Lucien lose his temper this fast He was so adept at keeping up his cool, distant façade that I hadn't actually thought that he could lose it. The events of today must indeed have shaken him deeply.

"Bullshit." Lucien barked "you take advantage of people, to further your own selfish desires. That's it."

Ianthe was surprisingly unfazed by his words, her face set in a mask of serenity. "I do what is demanded of me. Sometimes that means doing things I don't particularly enjoy but…" Her voice trailed off, giving Lucien a small knowing smile, like a mother to an unruly child.

"Like Calanmai?" Lucien's voice was coated with ice.

Ianthe paled and I heard her heart skip a beat before regaining her composure. She looked from Lucien, to me and back again.

"I did what I had to do. What tradition demands."

Calanmai… Traditions. There were of course many traditions on Calanmai, but combined with the bits and pieces of information I had gathered today, like the king's not so subtle hints about Tamlin and his two ladies, it was safe to assume that my suspicions were correct. Ianthe had taken the role of the maiden on Calanmai – Tamlin had bedded her. I waited for rage or anger to rise, but nothing; I felt absolutely nothing. I couldn't care less about what they did and with whom. If anything, they probably deserved each other.

Lucien let out a hiss "You seemed a little too eager to oblige that tradition, Ianthe."

I shifted on my feet and Lucien caught the movement with his metal eye. He looked at me, guilt and pain written on his handsome features. He had obviously forgotten all about me and was now dreading what I might have concluded. He didn't need to worry. There was no reason for me to show my hand just yet – not with Tamlin out of the house.

Ianthe caught the look and smiled "Jealous, Lucien?" This time, Lucien went dead silent and his stance shifted slightly – a fighting stance, I recognized from the hours I had spent training with Cassian. This damned day seemed never-ending and I really wanted that bath before dinner.

"Enough." I said, voice level as I pinned both of them with a glare. "Dinner is ready in one hour." And for the second time that day, I dragged Lucien away from Ianthe, for both our sakes.

"Feyre… I…" Lucien began but I interrupted him.

"I mean it, Lucien. Enough. I just want to relax until dinner, take a bath and work through the day." My head throbbed, as it had done since the daemati had attacked me, but now I felt it as a living thing, writhing and expanding in my head. I needed some peace and quiet.

Lucien nodded reluctantly and made to speak, but as we walked through the doors of the receiving room, Tamlin's voice sounded from the outer doors.

"Where are you off to?"

I realised that my arm was still linked with Lucien's and I quickly let go. "I want to take a bath before dinner."

Tamlin's eyes danced with mischief and desire. I groaned internally.

"I can draw a bath for you, Feyre." His words were heavy, coated with burning desire,

I couldn't deal with his advances, not right now. I was tired, aching and I missed Rhys. I scrambled for a suitable refusal, but Lucien stepped in front of me. "Actually, Tam, we need to talk."

I could have kissed him right then and there. He glanced at me and his eyes glimmered with something – understanding perhaps?

Tamlin stiffened and looked at me longingly but I merely stepped up, gave him a quick kiss and hurried upstairs, not giving him time to react.

I called for my servants to fill the bathtub and not five minutes later I was enveloped in delicious hot water, scented with citrus and jasmine, my own personal blend.

I tugged at the bond, and the answer was nearly instant. Rhys. I sent an image of myself, naked in the bath down the bond and I felt white-hot desire surge back. I laughed quietly at that, hoping that I had disturbed him while doing something important. What I wouldn't give to be with him.

My head still pounded and I closed my mind, only leaving a small opening for the bond. I truly needed silence, both from the outside and from within. I soaked in the water for thirty minutes before I realized that the water had turned cold. I heaved myself out of the tub, enveloped my body in a large towel and walked to the bed. I lay down, opening the book I was currently reading and started sifting through the pages. A small knock pulled me back to reality and I turned towards the door. "Come in." I said and the door opened, revealing auburn coloured hair – Lucien.

He hurried inside, closing the door behind him with a soft thud.
"Tam is checking the grounds before dinner. I just wanted to thank you, Feyre. What you did… You saved me, saved him. He… He hasn't been that way since you returned but I think today was a bad day." No kidding, I wanted to say, but let him continue. He pulled a hand through his hair, leaning casually against the wall. "I don't know what to believe anymore. Tam is my friend. I cannot leave him, but Elain…" He threw his hands into the air. "She is my mate."

I nodded. "I know, Lucien."

His eyes turned to me, took in my body barely covered by the towel and a faint blush showed on his cheeks as he tried to settle his eyes anywhere but on me.

I grinned at him, "Relax Lucien, you really aren't my type."

"Well, that doesn't mean that you should prance around naked in front of me." He smiled back.

"Prancing?" I laughed.

He just grinned, but his eyes soon turned serious again. "I don't know where this leaves us, Feyre. I guess we'll figure it out. But you have to know that I would do anything for Elain. Remember that." He turned to the door "See you at dinner." And then he was gone.

I rubbed my temples, trying to sort out my own thoughts. Lucien had become a tentative ally, who I didn't know if I could trust. Tamlin was an unstable, possessive high lord who believed I was as fragile as glass, and Ianthe was a scheming, selfish snake, playing her own games with everyone at this court. On top of that the king expected me to help him break the wall and convince the other high lords to support him. Meanwhile I had to keep up appearances in front of everyone and make sure that I used my position in the spring court to our advantage. I let out a low groan as I let these thoughts sink in.

After a while lying in complete silence, I got off the bed and called the servants to help me dress for dinner. At least Lucien had let go of his hostility towards me. He had even hinted at wanting to work together for Elain. I could use that. We could use that. I grazed the bond in my mind, I love you I whispered and let the words trickle along the bridge keeping our minds connected. I smiled at his answering purr. My high lord.