Chapter Ten
Briallen was entirely sick of rain. If she never stepped out into the rain again for the rest of her life, it would be too soon.
It started as a little shower just as they were coming to the true mountain paths, steep and rocky and far too narrow for Brie's comfort. Despite the cloak she had managed to "borrow" from Rivendell (she had every intention of returning it, she didn't care what Nori said), the rain managed to seep down to the skin and make everything thoroughly miserable.
Then the wind picked up, a biting cold that flung the rain into their faces and tugged at their clothes, making an already unsteady trek nearly perilous. Brie found herself clutching to Dwalin's cloak in an effort not to lose her footing on the slick stone. She could feel Bilbo clutching to her cloak in turn, but she did not dare turn to look at him. She had never been terribly bothered by heights, but even a glimpse over the edge of the steep cliffs made her head spin dangerously.
The rain pressed harder, the wind turned to a gale, and before too long lightning split the sky and thunder cracked the air, seeming to make even the mountains shudder in fear.
"We must find shelter!" Thorin shouted over the howling of the wind.
Brie took another step and suddenly the rock beneath her feet crumbled. Her voice stuck in her throat, not even allowing a scream as she slipped, her grip on Dwalin's cloak fumbled, there was nothing but open air beneath her, she was falling...
"Briallen!"
Dwalin snatched the back of her cloak and hoisted her up, swinging her until she was settled on solid stone directly in front of him. She was trembling, still not able to make any noise. Dwalin pushed back her hood, despite the pouring rain, and pressed his hands to either side of her face, forcing her to meet his eyes.
"Mahal bazg khi, are you alright, lass!?"
Before Brie could respond, something huge came hurtling through the air, lit only briefly by flashes of lightning.
"Watch out!" Dwalin shouted, shoving Brie back against the stone wall and pressing his body over her as the mountain rocked beneath them, stone shattering on stone and showering down on them in shards. She clung to the dwarf without shame, fearing the storm more than she valued her pride.
"This is no thunderstorm!" Balin called, "It's a thunder battle! Look!"
Brie could barely see around Dwalin, but in the flashes of light through the torrential rain, she could make out something that looked like a man (a craggy, misshapen, huge man) pulling himself off the side of the mountains.
"Well bless me..." Bofur gasped, barely audible over the thunder and howl of the wind, "The legends are true. Giants! Stone Giants!"
She clung to Dwalin as stones fell all around them, shattering the ledges where they stood as the giants tossed boulders at each other like they were no more than pine cones. Suddenly there was a hard, loud crack somewhere close by and the mountain lurched.
"What's happening?!" That was Kili's voice behind them and Brie felt a sudden stab of panic.
"Bilbo?!" she shouted, straining to try to see around Dwalin. Her brother... He'd been right behind them...
The mountain lurched again and the ledge on which they stood ripped violently apart.
"Kili, grab my hand!" Fili shouted, reaching for his brother as the mountainside split in two, with half the company… including Bilbo… trapped on the wrong side.
"Bilbo!"
Brie lunged toward him, knowing that it was no good, too late, he was gone, swept away, or she was swept away, and she wasn't quite sure which because everything was moving, rolling and pitching, and it was all she could do to keep her balance as the mountain rocked upright and began to walk!
Dwalin dragged her back from the edge, but all Brie could think about was Bilbo, Bilbo was the other way, she needed her brother and he was…
The stone beneath her feet stopped rolling as Dwalin flung her back onto solid mountain once more, but the others were still out there, being tossed about in the wind and rain as the giants fought. There were three of them now and Brie watched, paralyzed with horror, as one of the creatures threw a boulder at the head of another and it went down in a shower of stone, sending the ledge that held her brother and her friends hurtling toward the mountainside and smashing against the rock.
Dwalin's grip on her went slack.
"Balin..."
Brie could hear Thorin roaring over the wind and the thunder, shouting Kili's name, sweet Kili... but then everything was drowned in a dull buzz and a voice in her head, whispering...
…Bilbo.
Brie wasn't sure if the sound she made was even human, but it carried over the buzzing in her ears as she scrambled forward, heedless of the others shouting and surging around her because Bilbo, Bilbo, no please, not Bilbo, please... She slipped between the larger dwarves as if they weren't even there and slid around the corner, nearly toppling over the edge of the cliff face before she regained her footing.
There was a heap of dwarves, all piled together against a crevice in the rock, but they were moving... they were alive. Brie's knees went weak for a moment and she reached blindly for the rock wall to steady herself as she watched Kili and Ori and Balin wriggle free, surrounded by their relieved families. Her eyes searched... and then her breath caught.
"Where's Bilbo?" she rasped, but no one seemed to hear. Her eyes skipped frantically over the dwarves, all thirteen of them, and there was no sign of golden curls...
Oh... Oh please...
"Where is my brother?!" she screamed.
Everybody stopped moving. Brie felt all the air leave her lungs as a frantic search commenced, dwarves swarming the rock ledge, and Brie thought she was going to drop, she couldn't, she didn't have the strength...
"There!" Ori shouted.
Dwalin and Bofur both dove to the ground, where Brie could just barely see the tips of tiny fingers clinging desperately to the edge of the path. Brie lunged, but was snatched about the waist and yanked back, almost pulled from her feet.
"No, sweet, you'll fall!" Nori yelled over the wind, but Brie didn't care, struggling against the hold of the much stronger dwarf.
"No, please, my brother, please, that's my brother!"
Bofur stretched out his hand, his hat quivering precariously atop his head, and Brie watched helplessly as Bilbo reached… and slipped.
Brie shrieked, throwing herself against Nori's iron grip hard enough to knock the wind out of her… and Thorin dropped over the side of the cliff, grabbed Bilbo by the collar, and tossed him into the waiting hands of the others, who quickly pulled him to safety. Brie sagged against Nori's arms, relief and terror making her legs useless. She held out her arms as Bilbo stumbled toward her, wrapping him up and burying her face in his hair as Nori let her go, the two hobbits sinking to the ground in a shivering heap.
Bilbo... Bilbo...
…but then, something else, another name, shot through Brie like a bolt of the lightning cracking against the sky…
…Thorin.
Brie jerked upright in alarm. Dwalin was still hanging over the side of the cliff, reaching, straining. Brie stiffened, clutching Bilbo in her arms, eyes wide and heart hammering somewhere in her throat. Finally, Dwalin gave a mighty heave, and Thorin's head and shoulders appeared as he pulled himself back up onto the rock shelf. Brie let out a shuddering breath and buried her face in Bilbo's dripping hair once more, rocking back and forth.
Bilbo is safe...
Thorin is safe...
We're all safe...
"Thought we'd lost our burglar," Dwalin said, breathless but good-natured.
"They are both lost."
Brie looked up and met Thorin's glare. But somehow, though some part of her said that she should be, she couldn't find it in her to be angry at him. She was too grateful to be angry, and… and relieved, because they had nearly lost Thorin as well, and that had been far more frightening than Brie would have expected it to be, considering.
"They have been lost ever since they left home," he said, turning away, "They should never have come. They have no place amongst us."
Brie wanted to feel angry then. She really did. But all she felt was cold and a resigned sort of hurt. She looked down at her brother and could see that same hurt mirrored in his eyes too. She had done this to him. She had brought them here, to this place. If it weren't for her, he would be safe and warm and dry in his hobbit hole, where he belonged.
Green Mother... what have I done?
"You are more than welcome to stay here, if that is what you wish..."
Bilbo could hear Lord Elrond's words, as clearly as if the elf-lord were there in the cave with him. Rivendell... Oh, to stay in Rivendell! How the idea had lightened his heart, quickened his blood…
"Oh no, we couldn't do that. Brie would never turn back, not now."
"Perhaps. But I am not speaking to Briallen, I am speaking to you. What do you want, Bilbo Baggins?"
The idea had been ludicrous, and he had said as much. He wouldn't leave Brie. Together, or not at all.
But now, lying in the dark on the cold stone of the cave floor, listening to the thunder that was not all thunder, dripping wet and miserable, all he could hear were Thorin's words.
"They should never have come..."
What the dwarf had really meant, of course, was that he should never have come. Bilbo was not made for this. He was a Baggins. He was made for the rolling green of the Shire, for books and maps and growing things. The wild was no place for the likes of him. Brie... Brie was alright. She was a Took (in all but name), and not just her mother's blood, but the blood of the old Tooks ran in her veins, Tooks with names like 'Bullroarer' and 'Goblinsbane'. If there were any hobbit born for adventure, it was Briallen Baggins. She thrived on such things, Bilbo saw it more and more each day. And Bilbo... Bilbo did nothing but slow her down. He had always slowed her down, brought her up short, made her somehow less than what she was meant to be.
No longer. For once, he was going to do the right thing, the right thing by Brie. Even if it hurt him more than words could say, even if it left a gaping hole in his chest that would never be filled again. He was going to let her go.
So Bilbo lay quietly on the cold stone floor, and waited for his chance.
"No, you don't, you don't understand!"
Brie jerked awake at the sound of her brother's voice and reached for him. He wasn't there.
"None of you do, not even..."
His frustrated hiss trailed off and Brie lifted her head. He was standing in the entrance to the cave, speaking to Bofur. With his cloak... and his pack... and his walking stick...
Brie felt a sick knot form in the pit of her stomach.
"So you'll leave her then?" Bofur murmured.
"You'll take care of her, won't you?" Bilbo whispered, his voice desperate, "Only... She's not like me. She's not a Baggins, she was made for this sort of thing. For adventure and danger and wandering. It's in her blood, always has been. I can't take that from her, just because I'm not cut out for it. I've been holding her back all her life, Bofur. I can't do it any longer."
Brie slowly rolled to a crouch against the wall of the cave, picking up her bow and arrows, and sliding her own pack onto her back. She had expected this, of course. She had expected that they might leave tonight, after what Thorin had said. She'd just never expected… never thought...
"Promise me, Bofur," Bilbo whispered, gripping the dwarf's arm, "Promise me you'll look after her."
Bofur paused. Then he nodded in the faint light, and gripped Bilbo's arm in return.
"I wish you all the luck in the world, Bilbo Baggins," the dwarf said, with what sounded surprisingly like genuine regret, "I really do."
Brie felt cold and empty, even as she stood to her feet, preparing to follow her brother. He was leaving... He was leaving her...
Together, or not at all... Together, or not at...
"What's that?"
Brie paused, frozen against the wall. There was a faint blue glow, just under Bilbo's jacket. He reached down and slowly slid his sword an inch from its scabbard, throwing blue light against the walls of the cave. Bilbo had told her what that blue light meant...
"Get up," Brie said, but her voice was hoarse and barely audible. She swallowed and tried again, gripping her bow in shaking fingers, "Get up! Everybody, get up!"
"Wake up!" Thorin roared, throwing off his blanket and leaping to his feet.
The rest of the dwarves were moving now, roused by the shouting, but still slow and clumsy with sleep. Brie took a step toward Bilbo, felt someone grab her arm… and then the floor fell away beneath them, and they dropped.
Brie landed on a pile of dwarves and quickly rolled out of the way to keep from being crushed by those following her. She hit the rough edge of whatever structure held them and fought to find her feet, searching the mass of dwarves struggling to stand in their bowl-shaped cage.
"Bilbo!"
She caught a glimpse of curly hair in the confusion, but her call was lost in the chattering cackles and screeches of the nasty looking things that flooded the cage and yanked at the prisoners, herding them out and down a narrow swinging pathway. Brie was shoved and tripped and pulled and spun about until she wasn't sure which way she had come from and which way she was going. She'd lost sight of her brother and she couldn't find him again. Panic started to build in her throat and the stench of the nasty creatures filled her mouth and her nose. She stumbled and someone caught her arm before she fell.
"It's alright, sweet, I got you," Nori said, pulling her up and tucking her into his side, as far away from the goblins as possible. And they were goblins, even though Brie had never actually seen one before, she knew the stories.
"Nori!" she gasped, her chest constricting painfully as she tried to breathe through her panic, "Nori, my brother...!"
"It's alright, love, he's alright," the dwarf muttered, leaning down so he could speak in her ear, "I saw him slip out, he'll be right behind us. Don't say anything or you'll give him away."
Brie felt a tiny bit better then. Bilbo was alright. He was right behind them. He would think of a way out of this mess. She knew he would. He was a Baggins.
I'm not cut out for it… I can't do it any longer… Together, or not at all…
Oh Bilbo… Please don't leave me…
Khuzdul Translations:
Mahal bazg khi!- Mahal curse it! (pretty much the closest equivalent I could come up with to 'goddamnit' ;P)
A/N: If you feel like this chapter is missing something, it is! I've reorganized this and the next chapter to make things make a little more sense and not feel so choppy and weird to me. See the Author's Note at the beginning of Chapter Eleven for more info :)