The Mormfongs

Oooooh blimey-'eck. Tough week. Had a job interview. Just got a call saying I've got a trial! Cute little cake shop. Hope this works out. I'm sick of the restaurant and the constant smell of bacon fat which surrounds me. I'M A VEGETARIAN.

On a brighter note, thank you sooooo much to everyone who has reviewed and alerted and favourited and lurked. I love you all. Individual praises can be found at the bottom of the page.

Disclaimer: I'm not JK Rowling, PRAISE HER.

I'm sorry I'm not what you wanted, I'm sorry, sorry I let you down and I couldn't use some poor excuse because the hardest thing to say, it's the hardest thing to say in the world: yeah, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

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Second year at Hogwarts began with James and Sirius terrorizing the First Years with gusto.

Two unsuspecting newbies -positively shaking with fear and excitement- made the error of mistaking Remus, Sirius, James and Peter for fellow First Years.

Remus happily invited them to sit with them, while James burst into a giggle fit and Sirius cracked his knuckles pointedly.

"So, what House do you guys reckon you'll be in?" asked the bolder of the two firsties.

"Gryffindor," Remus, Sirius, James and Peter chorused.

"How can you be so sure?"

James started hiccuping.

"Call it intuition," said Remus, with a secretive smile.

Sirius rolled his eyes.

"What about you two?" Peter asked them.

The two First Years shrugged.

"Hufflepuff, I suppose," said one, in a resigned tone of voice.

"Nothing wrong with Hufflepuff," said Remus.

"But they're all huffy and puffy," muttered Sirius.

James was clutching his side, looking pained.

"They huff and they puff and they blow you away," murmured Remus.

"So there are werewolves in Hufflepuff?" the more timid First Year squeaked.

"Definitely," said Sirius, "though how you came to that conclusion, I have no idea."

"The big bad wolf," said Remus. "Haven't you read Little Red Riding Hood?"

"No, but it sounds kinky."

"You're perverse."

"I'm nearly thirteen!" Sirius defended.

James was struggling for breath.

The bolder First Year frowned. "You're Second Years, aren't you?"

"Very much so," said Remus.

"So, piss off," added Sirius.

The two younger boys stood up, grabbed their trunks, and exited the compartment.

James's nose started bleeding.

"Definitely little 'Puffs."

(-)

"Remus! You're not ill yet!" Sirius exclaimed, two weeks into the school year.

Remus looked up from his Astronomy book. "I feel quite well so far," he admitted.

"Brilliant! Keep that going, and you can try out for the Quidditch team with us!"

"Er... no."

"Why not?" Sirius demanded. "You're a fair flyer."

"I'd rather not test my already questionable health," said Remus, rather primly.

"Hmph. Alright. You have to come and cheer us on, though."

"Naturally. I'll make charmed banners with Peter."

"That's a good plan, actually; none of us have girlfriends, so we need groupies of some sort."

Remus made a curious spluttering noise. "Sirius!"

"What? You don't have a girlfriend, do you?"

"No! And why would I want one? I'm only 12!"

"Then why the splutter?" Sirius asked.

"I am not your 'groupie'! You're not in a rock band! You're not even on the team!"

"Yet."

(-)

23rd September 1972.

Remus was ill.

He was in the hospital wing... supposedly.

At eight o'clock in the evening, Sirius went to visit him, armed with chocolate and books, only to be rebuffed by Madam Pomfrey, who said that Remus was sleeping and was not to be disturbed.

And so, Sirius was sitting on the floor of the dorm, wrapped up in one of Remus's cosy wool blankets, staring at the calendar on the wall, gazing at the tiny circle that he himself had drawn on the day square.

To express his new found enthusiasm for Astronomy, he wrote down when the full moon was due to occur each month on the calendar. Remus shot him odd looks in response, but said nothing.

They huff and they puff and they blow you away.

I should keep you on a leash so that you can't leave me. Please don't. Will it end badly? Quite potentially.

So there are werewolves in Hufflepuff?

Encountered a rather grumpy hippogriff.

Haven't you read Little Red Riding Hood?

31st December 1971 had a small circle for the full moon in the square, along with the words: 'Remus abandoned me!' written in an accusing scrawl.

The big bad wolf.

Oh... shit.

(-)

The following evening, Remus returned to the dorm.

Sirius sat in his own bed, twiddling his thumbs, trying to pluck up the courage to confront the other boy.

He took a deep breath for the seventeenth time, and threw back the curtains, clambering out of the four-poster.

"Remus!" Sirius had his head shoved into Remus's tent.

Remus rolled over in response.

Sirius sighed, retracted his head, and replaced his arm in, which shuffled around in the bed covers until it found Remus's wrist, which he tugged on repeatedly.

"Sirius, I'm ill," Remus almost whined, as he allowed himself to be pulled out of his cosy tent.

Sirius ignored him, and pulled him into his bed, where he pulled the curtains sharply closed around them.

Remus raised one sleepy eyebrow, and then another when Sirius pulled him onto his lap, burying his nose into Remus's sandy hair. "Sirius?"

"Hmm?"

"Why are you treating me like a kitten?"

Sirius smiled darkly. "You're not a cat, are you, Moony?"

Remus started at the new nickname, pulling away. "No, I'm not," he said, cautiously. "McGonagall is, though. Partly."

Sirius's steel eyes met his. "I worked it out, Rem. Can't believe it took me so long. Especially with that damn calendar."

Remus shivered. "I couldn't tell you, Sirius. I'm sorry. I'll... I'll leave. I'm sorry..." He shifted, trying to escape Sirius's embrace.

"What? Why are you leaving?"

"Umm..."

James's face appeared in the folds of the curtains. "Alright, Rem? You're squirming."

"I-I..."

"Sirius, I think you may be choking him."

"Hush up, James; we're snuggling in a manly fashion. Carry on, Remus."

Remus was beyond confused: Sirius had discovered his deepest, darkest secret, and was holding him prisoner. It was an affectionate prison, though. Affectionate and mind-bogglingly confusing. "I don't know w-what you want me to s-say."

"You can tell him," said Sirius.

"Tell me what?" James inquired, shifting so that he was sitting opposite them on the bed.

"I-I-I..."

"Oh, for Melin's sake," muttered Sirius. "Jamie-boy, our Rem is a-"

"Werewolf," Remus finished, glumly.

"Oh, that," said James, sounding relieved. "Merlin, don't scare me like that; I thought you were going to say something terrible."

For the first time in his life, Sirius Black was speechless.

"I'm not q-quite sure that you understand, J-James," said Remus, cautiously.

"Well, I worked it out three months ago-"

"YOU WHAT?" Sirius yelped, tossing Remus off his lap in his effort to tackle James. "YOU KNEW?"

"What? Merlin... Sirius, get OFF me! Of course I knew! Have you only just figured it out? I thought you were sharper than that, you mutt..."

Remus could only watch -utterly gobsmacked- as Sirius tackled James off his bed, before yanking him back onto it.

"I can't believe you didn't tell me!"

"Well, it doesn't matter to me, so there was no point in- GURPH! Remus!" James fell back onto the floor as Remus pounced on him, hugging him tightly.

"I love you, too!" Sirius announced, piling onto the other two with typical gusto.

(-)

Mormfongs: [Moony Wormtail Padfoot Prongs]

The Maine; I'm Sorry

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Many thanks to my gorgeous reviewers: WizardWay, livi harkness, Sparkling Soul, Raven-of-the-forests, GixieChic, LoveLiterature, and my apparent new wife Kimmimaru. [Don't tell the people who just alert this, but I love you reviewers the best!] :)

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