A quick thank you for all of the reviews (except for one that wasn't really a hater just someone that didn't know what they were talking about. I already ranted about it on Tumblr no need to do it again)
Look 10 chapters :) yay!
This one is very dear to me so be kind to it
Leonard walked into Sheldon and Amy's apartment, making note to one day mention how they should learn not to let just anyone in. Sheldon should have known better than that, but that's the way their apartment had always been. He stopped, seeing the genius staring at the white board, scribbled with what could only be described as nonesense.
"I brought your mail," Leonard said, holding out the envelopes in his hand.
Sheldon looked at him with a smile on his face. "Oh, thank you, Leonard," he said, taking the mail. "You know, between you and Amy, I barely ever have to even leave home apart from work and comic book day." He walked to the desk, going through the mail.
"In a good mood?" Leonard asked.
Sheldon looked at his friend. "Oh, very," he said, putting the mail down."You remember the time I hit Stuart's parked car and he treated me like... oh, what's the word?"
"Shit?" Leonard asked, looking at the board.
"No need to be so vulgar, but yes," Sheldon said. "I have been informed that if I drive at any point between now and June of 2016, I could be facing up to five years in jail."
Leonard looked at him, confused. He had a criminal record, but somehow he was happy about it? "How is that good news?" he asked.
"Well, now no one can make me drive," Sheldon said, still wearing the same smile. "Life is good, Leonard. Real good."
Leonard pointed at the board in front of him, deciding now was a good time to ask about it. "What's this?" he asked.
Sheldon looked at the board, his smile vanishing. "Oh, that," he said, walking over to Leonard, standing closer to the board. "Last night, it hit me." He turned around, looking at Leonard. "Where is my relationship with Amy going?"
"Not the bedroom without you having a panic attack," Leonard said.
Sheldon shook his head. "Exactly," he said. "And that is just it. Amy wants me in a very intimate way. And I'm not ready for that yet."
"You can see it happening one day, though," Leonard reminded him.
"But no one knows when that day is," Sheldon said. "Neither do I. Which I thought of." He picked up the eraser. "I told my mother I would try and wait until I'm married to make her proud. Of course, I only said that because, at the time, hand-holding, let alone coitus, was repulsive to me."
"Is there a point to this?" Leonard asked.
Sheldon pointed at the board. "I've done some calculating," he said. "And the result states that Amy and I will be married in a year's time."
Leonard looked past Sheldon and at the board once again. "I don't get it," he said, looking back at Sheldon.
Sheldon shook his head. "I expected more from you, Leonard," he said. He turned around, erasing the board. "You and Penny have to help me out."
"With what?" Leonard asked, not hearing any explanations.
Sheldon finished erasing the board, sighing as he looked at Leonard once again. "Try to keep up, Leonard," he said. "I believe it's time for me to propose to Amy."
Even Sheldon was ready for marriage and yet Penny still wanted to avoid the subject?
"What?" Leonard asked, making sure he heard Sheldon correctly.
"What is wrong with you today?" Sheldon asked. "I'm relying on the two of you to put this together. But don't do anything insane." He started to put the board away.
"You need a ring," Leonard said.
Sheldon looked at Leonard. "If the Internet is correct, I'll be needing much more than just a ring," he said.
He googled how to propose to someone? "Sheldon, you're supposed to be planning this," Leonard said.
Sheldon put the board away before walking over to Leonard. "What are you saying?" he asked. "Just because Penny doesn't want to be eternally yoked to you, you think Amy and I don't deserve such happiness?"
Kinda, Leonard thought. "No," he said instead. "I'm saying, I'm not going to help you if you're making us do all the heavy lifting. This is your decision. You get the ring. You make the dinner plans. And, yes, you even have to ask her."
"You can't do all of that for me?" Sheldon asked, once again not understanding how a real relationship works.
Leonard decided to go a different way. "You have a year, Sheldon," he said. "And since most people are engaged for about six months before they get married, that leaves you six months to plan out the proposal."
An alarm from a clock started to go off in another room.
"Amy will be waking soon," Sheldon said. "Don't tell Penny yet. She's bound to tell Amy."
"Tell me what?" Amy asked, walking in.
"Oh, drat," Sheldon said, turning to face his girlfriend.
Leonard chimed in, knowing Sheldon wouldn't be comfortable lying to her. "He's gonna propose to you," he said with a smile, getting a glare from Sheldon.
Amy let out a small chuckle. "It's ok, Sheldon, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to," she said. "Just don't let Leonard joke around with marriage." She walked to the kitchen to get some coffee.
She assumed it was a joke? Did she think it not possible?
"How do you know he's not serious?" Sheldon asked.
Amy looked at him with a knowing expression before looking away. "I just know," she said.
"Got your back, Shelly," Leonard said, patting Sheldon on the back. He walked over to the couch.
Sheldon looked at Amy, walking over to her. "Good morning, Amy," he said.
"You can kiss her, Sheldon," Leonard said, sensing Sheldon's hesitation. "We know you do it. You don't have to hide it from your friends."
Sheldon looked behind him at Leonard then back at Amy, staring at her.
"Now you're insecure?" Amy asked, referring to the previous day where he didn't even care who else was in the room.
"I'm not insecure, I'm sober," Sheldon said. "And self-conscious."
Amy groaned, picking up a scone from the plate on the counter. "Morning, Sheldon," she said. "You, too, Leonard."
"Morning," Leonard said in return, flipping through the channels.
"If you want someone insecure with their relationship," Sheldon started, pointing at Leonard. "He's sitting right there."
"Why is he here?" Amy asked.
"He can't go to work," Sheldon said. "And Penny is busy filming her part in the movie. So we get Leonard duty today."
"I'm going out," Amy said, clearly not wanting to spend the day with Leonard. She turned, returning to her bedroom.
Sheldon shrugged, looking at Leonard as he walked over to the couch. "Looks like it's just me and you today, ol' buddy," he said, sitting down.
"Actually, I'm just killing time," Leonard said, putting the remote down. "Me and Howard are going to Santa Monica today."
"What's in Santa Monica?" Sheldon asked.
"Well, bars I've never been to before, a pier," Leonard started. He looked at Sheldon. "And I can't stress this enough, not you."
"But you're my friend," Sheldon said as if he had claimed dibs on Leonard.
"Yes, but I'm also Howard's friend," Leonard said. "We would have invited you, but... we didn't want to." He looked back at the tv.
"Oh, alright then," Sheldon said, standing up. "I suppose I'll be spending today alone."
"It'll be paradise for you," Leonard said, pulling out his phone when he got a text.
"I would call it paradise," Sheldon mumbled, walking away form the couch.
Leonard turned the tv off. "Howard wants me to go early," he said. "He's got two tickets to an amusement park." He looked at Sheldon, standing up. "Good luck with Amy."
Sheldon looked at him. "I don't believe in luck," he said sourly.
"Doesn't matter," Leonard said with a shrug. "You'll need it. I'll see you later." He waved at Sheldon as he left the apartment.
Sheldon looked around. "This is insane," he said aloud to himself. "I'll be alone today, so what.. I should be rejoicing. I love being alone." He sat down, not caring he wasn't at his spot. "What I hate is being lonely."
Amy walked in, now wearing her every day clothes. "Sheldon, you bought the wrong soap," she said, scratching at the palm of her hand. "You know I'm allergic."
Sheldon stood up, looking at her. "I didn't buy any soap," he said with a shake of his head. "That's your responsibility. It even says so in the Roommate Agreement."
"Sheldon, you came home with it just two days ago," Amy said, still itching at her skin.
"You're mistaken," Sheldon said.
Amy lowered her arms. "I'm mistaken?" she asked.
Sheldon nodded his head, unsure of what she was so upset about. "I only bought soap when Leonard was sick," he said. "And you haven't been sick since you moved in. If any soup has been purchased, it was by you."
Amy crossed her arms. "Sheldon, you know better," she said. "Just admit it was you and apologize for the way you're acting."
"I've done nothing wrong," Sheldon said, walking to the kitchen.
Amy turned to face him. "Try again, Sheldon," she said.
Sheldon looked at her. "I'm sorry you're allergic to the soap," he said.
Amy shook her head. She would train him to apologize the first time one of these days. "You can do better than that," she said.
"This conversation is ridiculous," Sheldon said. "Arguing over hand soap? What are we? Leonard and Penny?"
"Then clearly there's something else bothering you," Amy said. "Or else you wouldn't be so hell-bent defendant about it."
"Alright," Sheldon said, walking over to her. He was quiet for a moment before speaking again. "I want to spend the rest of my life with you."
Amy hadn't expected that. She never expected something like that to ever come out of his mouth. She remained silent, lowering her arms. Still, she couldn't find the right words to say.
"It's over," she blurted out.
"What?" Sheldon asked, though he knew exactly what she meant.
"I'm breaking up with you," Amy said. She stood there, staring at him for a moment before turning around. She left the apartment without taking a second look back.
Sheldon stared at the closed door, torn. He wasn't sure what had just happened or what he was to do about it. Should he go after her just like the love interest in all those romantic comedy films Amy loved so much? Or was he to wait for her return?
He walked to the door and opened it, hoping to see her on the other side, waiting on him as if this was a test of his love for her. Instead, she was gone. He swallowed the knot in his throat, trying to process this. He slowly closed the door, looking around at the suddenly very empty apartment.
Leonard and Howard walked through the amusement park entrance, only to be instantly disappointed. Thinking they were going to some Six Flags-like place, they ended up going to an amusement park designed for small children.
"Quick, pretend we have kids on a ride," Howard said. "My old creepy I could live with, this creepy I couldn't."
"You didn't happen to look at the pamphlet?" Leonard asked as they turned back around.
"The tickets were six dollars!" Howard said. "I just thought it was a great deal."
"Do we have time to go anywhere else?" Leonard asked. "This was kinda out of the way. We're not even in Santa Monica anymore."
"Well, we can get a cd and rock out to oldies on the drive back," Howard suggested.
"Not a Neil Diamond fan, Howard," Leonard said as they approached Howard's car.
"That's not my fault," Howard said. "I also have some Led Zepplin."
"Not a fan of them, either," Leonard said.
Howard opened the door. "I've just found out why we never hang out, just the two of us," he said.
"Why's that?" Leonard asked.
"Because you're no fun!" Howard said, attempting to open the door. "Oh, crap."
"Did you lock us out?" Leonard asked.
"Kinda," Howard said with a guilty expression. "The only person available to help us out is Raj."
Leonard sighed. "Call him," he said, leaning against the car.
Howard got out his phone. "Oh, he might be out with Alli, though," he said.
"Oh, great," Leonard said sarcastically. "I'm stuck at a children's amusement park with you!"
"I resent that," Howard said. "How many people do you know?"
Leonard looked at him. "Just call Raj," he said.
"Fine," Howard said, going through his contacts. "No need to get snappy at me." He put the phone to his ear. "Hey, Raj." He paused. "Oh, hi, Alli. Is Raj there?" Leonard looked at him. "No? Are you busy?"
Leonard was confused. "Where's Raj?" he asked.
Howard lifted his hand to silence Leonard. "Yeah, can you come get us?" he asked. "Awesome. We're at a children's amusement park outside Santa Monica. Don't ask."
Several hours and one bottle of wine later, and Amy was in Penny's kitchen, drinking another glass of wine from a new bottle. And Penny had only been home for two of those three hours.
"Ready to talk about it now?" Penny asked.
Amy shook her head. "Not drunk enough," she said.
"No, I think you're too drunk," Penny said, leaning on the table they sat at. "Talk to me, Amy."
"Alright," Amy said, putting the glass down. "Sheldon and I broke up."
Penny was surprised by that. Their relationship had been going so well. "What? Why?" she exclaimed. "Please tell me it wasn't over something stupid."
"It started out that way," Amy said, moving her finger along the rim of the glass, staring at the dark violet liquid inside. "WE were arguing over soap," she told Penny. "Soap! Of all things! Then, out of the blue, he told me he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me, so I broke it off."
Penny was quiet. She just didn't understand. That's what Amy had been wanting for years now, wasn't it? "That rat bastard," she said sarcastically.
"It's not like that," Amy said. "He did nothing wrong. I don't know what happened. I guess I just panicked. He's bound to show up with the Breakup Agreement."
"He knows you're here?" Penny asked.
"Where else would I have gone?" Amy asked, picking up the glass.
Penny quickly took it away form her. "Oh, I think you've had enough," she said.
There were three knocks on the door followed by, "Amy and Penny."
"Oh, god," Amy said, dreading talking to Sheldon.
Knock, knock, knock.
"Amy and Penny."
"Make him go away," Amy pleaded at a whisper.
Knock, knock, knock.
"Amy and Penny," Sheldon said a last time. "I can hear you in there, Amy. You can't pretend you aren't."
Penny gave Amy an apologetic smile. "Come in, Sheldon," she said.
Sheldon opened the door and walked in, his iPad in hand. "Are you done crying?" he asked as he closed the door.
"Are you?" Amy asked in return.
"I don't cry," Sheldon said.
"Oh, please," Amy said with a roll of her eyes.
Penny stood up. "I'll leave you two alone," she said, going into the living room.
Sheldon sat down at the table, making a face. "I don't like this spot," he said. "Trade with me."
Amy shook her head. "We're not dating anymore," she said. "I don't have to listen to you."
"About that," Sheldon said, shifting in the seat, trying to get comfortable. "How confident are you in the breakup?"
Amy didn't want to answer that question. "Pass," she said.
"Alright," Sheldon said with a nod. He put the iPad down in front of her. "Are you able to sign evne in your intoxicated state?"
"Yes," Amy said, scrolling past all the unnecessary words.
"If I may ask," Sheldon started.
"I'd rather you didn't," Amy interjected.
"I'm going to anyways," Sheldon said despite her protest. "We have made some unimaginable progress in this relationship. Not only are we kissing now, we're even spooning. In bed!"
Amy looked up at him. "Sheldon, what's your point?" she asked.
"My point is this," Sheldon continued. "I have spent so much time with you. So much that I now enjoy touching you. I'll even drink after you. You have molded me into the perfect boyfriend."
"The perfect boyfriend?" Amy echoed, standing up in a rage.
Sheldon stood up, glad to get out of that seat. "I am your ideal boyfriend, am I not?" he asked.
"Yes, but that doesn't make you perfect," Amy said.
Sheldon shrugged. "Agree to disagree," he said.
Sometimes that ego of his really got to her. "What's your question, Sheldon?" she asked.
"Why did you break up with me?" Sheldon asked, actually sounding hurt.
Amy paused. She herself didn't even know the answer to that question. "I got scared," she said.
"How do you think I felt?" Sheldon asked, sitting back down. He immediately stood up, walking away from the table. "This relationship is moving so fast."
"Fast?" Amy asked. "It took you nearly four years to be comfortable kissing me."
"But no one has ever ridiculed you for staying with me," Sheldon said. "AT the same time, everyone questioned why I kept you around."
"Do you honestly think it's been easy for me?" Amy asked, offended by what he thought was truth. "You don't know how many times Penny and Bernadette attempted to get me away from you for my own good."
"What do you mean?" Sheldon asked.
"It's hard to love you, Sheldon," Amy said. "It's hard to even talk to you."
"Do you not enjoy my presence?" Sheldon asked.
"Yes, of course, I do," Amy said. "It's just hard to tolerate how you treat me sometimes."
Sheldon nodded his head. "I think understand," he said. "And the real reason why I've come here is to apologize and ask for your forgiveness. And on top of that, hope you'll take me back."
"There's nothing to forgive, Sheldon," Amy said. "I'm sorry for freaking out."
"You're forgiven," Sheldon said.
Amy should have known he would say that. He wasn't quite as humble as she was. "Did you mean what you said?" she asked. "About spending the rest of your life with me?"
"I wouldn't lie to you, Amy," Sheldon said with a shake of his head.
Amy nodded. "Then I accept," she said.
"Oh, you didn't have a choice," Sheldon said. "Also, all you have done today has rendered the Relationship Agreement void due to section V, paragraph nine: A falsified breakup dissolves all clauses and terminates the agreement."
"That's in there?!" Amy asked.
Sheldon nodded his head once. "Didn't you read it?" he asked.
"I skimmed through it," Amy admitted. "But had I known that was in there, I would have panicked and broke up with you a long time ago."
"It was only effective after we were dating for two years," Sheldon said. "So not too long ago."
"So does this mean we need a new agreement?" Amy asked.
"We would need separate lawyers for that," Sheldon said. "But, if that's what you want, sure, we can do it."
"What other choice is there?" Amy asked.
"Well, it means that, with the exception of coitus, you are free to do as you please," Sheldon said.
Amy's face lit up. "Does this mean second base?" she asked with a smile.
"I'm not sure what baseball has to do with anything," Sheldon started. "But I suppose. It's not coitus."
"No, no, it is not," Amy said.
"Also, since we're no longer broken up, I'll be going to Texas next week," Sheldon said. "I'll be helping Tanya move over here and I want you to join me."
That came out of nowhere. "Why?" Amy asked.
"You have already met my mother," Sheldon said. "However, that was before we started dating. And since we're to be married one day, I want my whole family to know you and know that I'll be marrying a good girl."
"Oh, my god," they heard Penny exclaim on the other side of the door.
"Sorry about that," Amy said.
"Don't be," Sheldon said. "I knew she was eavesdropping. I could hear her breathing on the door."
"Then why didn't you say anything?" Amy asked.
"Would she have moved?" Sheldon asked.
"No, I wouldn't have," Penny said.
"I rest my case," Sheldon said.
Ooh, Amy get's to meet Sheldon's family!
And Tanya shall return! And she'll become more important
Anything you wanna see happen in Texas? It's still a few chapters away, I'll even mention you
As always, review, but try to get the point and avoid leaving useless reviews that has only one thing that makes sense in it
In fact, say you hate my fic. I'll be fine with that! Just don't call them annoying and domineering (even though that's what Penny is, the way they said it was rude)
And I said I wouldn't rant, ugh
later