A/N: Hey guys! :D How did you guys like the last chapter? I thought that it was very, emotional. I'm thinking that this chapter will be also :D Haha. It will mainly be anger towards Bonnie and we will finally learn why Bonnie decided to attack her little cousin. Psycho chick. Lol. Alright, on with the chapter!
Disclaimer: Normally, I would flip my hair and I would own it. I tried but it didn't work. :( *sighs*
PREVIOUSLY ON 'Healing'
I had to finish the song at that point. I couldn't finish the song. I just started crying and Marcus held me close. He was whispering soothing things into my ear. I felt kind of better by now. All of the people I have lost in my life, deserved to hear that song. The hardest thing to do is say goodbye to your loved ones.
After crying for about maybe 5 minutes, my body couldn't produce any more tears at the moment. My head at the moment was killing me from all of that crying.
I only need to know one thing, why? Why did Bonnie suddenly come back into my life after all of these years and almost kill me? Why did Jeanne even join her? She and Bonnie may have been friends but I guess none of them could have been the bigger person and said that it was wrong. Was Maddy forced into the plan or she went voluntarily because she wanted to make her mother happy? Why was Janelle involved? I never thought that she would be involved in something like that. Why was she envious of me because I had a 'perfect life'? What perfect life? I never had that. Yea, sure, I have an amazing boyfriend, talented, and well liked. Nobody should ever have to go through the pain that I have endured. Sometimes, if you go through a fire, you will have some burns and walk away and move on with life. I had to do just that.
Marcus looked down at me as if he could see all of the wheels turning in my head. "Whatcha thinking about?" He asked me.
"The many questions that I have in my head." I told him. Might as well tell him.
"Such as, why in the world did four of them all try to kill me?" I asked him. He shrugged his shoulders. He knows that I just need somebody to listen to me.
"Did you know that Bonnie was actually a great singer? She used to sing to me sometimes when I was little." I said to him, smiling at the memory. That was the Bon-Bon I knew and loved. But sometimes, she would really aggressive towards me and she started to tear me down. Especially when she was around Jeanne. She used to follow Jeanne all of the time. I don't think that Jeanne used drugs but she had Bonnie wrapped around her finger.
I had an idea all of a sudden. I'm going to show Bonnie that I have grown into a beautiful young lady. My voice has matured since the last time she saw me and I have amazing people in my life. Nothing is impossible.
I got up with my phone in one hand and Marcus's hand in the other. We walked passed Abby and smiled at her. "Thanks Abs!" I told her giving her a huge hug. She hugged me back and beamed.
"No problem Sam. Oh, and by the way, you have a beautiful voice." She complimented me.
"Thanks Abs." I smiled and walked out of her lab. We took the elevator this time because I actually have the patience to wait, but it wasn't a long wait for it anyway. We stepped in and Marcus turned to me.
"So, what is going in that head of yours?" He asked me. I stared straight ahead and smirked.
"You will see. I'm going to show Bonnie something." I told him. I turned to face him and he looked kind of scared.
"Not your fist, right?" He questioned. I smirked even harder. He knows me so well, but I won't use violence. This time.
"No Marcus, this won't be violent. Well, I don't intend on it being violent. But if she hits me, trust and believe that I'm going to be taking her out." I told him and he chuckled. He should have expected me to say that and he knows that I stay true to my word. Bonnie may be way taller than me, but height has nothing to do with fighting, oh, I mean defending myself.
We walked off the elevator and walked through the bullpen. "Team Gibbs, observation room. We are going to surprise Bonnie." I said to them. Tony and McGee looked petrified and Gibbs and Ziva started laughing at their face expressions.
"Um, Sam, you are not going to hit her, right?" McGee asked me nervously. I chuckled.
"If she puts her hands on me first, yes I will." I told him and I continued walking towards the interrogation room.
I burst into the interrogation room where Bonnie was and she looked shocked. "Sam, I'm so sorry." She told me. I put my hand up.
"Bonnie, I want you to listen to me. Maybe just for about 4 minutes." I told her and took out my phone. I turned to a song that I think Bonnie knows well.
I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself
Cause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way you did,
You fell so hard
I've learned the hard way
To never let it get that far
I could say that Bonnie was shocked that I could sing. Well, that's what happens when you miss 10 years of your little cousin's life with no contact at all. I can't make the same mistakes that she did. I keep in contact with all of the cousins I know. I try my best to. When she left, I felt abandoned and I cried myself to sleep almost every night quietly.
Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid
Ever since I was a little girl, I always had my guard up because you never know the true side of people right from the beginning. I second guess myself a lot and it's hard for me to trust my own family. I'm afraid of trusting somebody seriously and it took forever for Marcus to break down my walls and he is still breaking them down now.
I lose my way
And it's not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because I know that's weakness in your eyes
I'm forced to fake
A smile, a laugh every day of my life
My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with
Whenever I made even the slightest mistake, Bonnie and Jeanne would tell immediately. And they would hold it against me. Whenever I cried around them, they called me a cry baby, wimp, stupid, anything to hurt my feelings. Every day, I have a mask on so people think that I am perfectly fine and I am not. I have to put on a show for the audience and when the curtain goes down, I could cry if I want to. My hearts' is practically in pieces and so, why even try to break it when it's already broken?
Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid
I watched you die
I heard you cry every night in your sleep
I was so young
You should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry in the middle of the night
For the same damn thing
I used to hear Bonnie cry herself to sleep all of the time. My room was right next to her room. I used to go in there and ask 'Why are you crying Bon-Bon?' and she would kick me out of her room every single time. She never saw that I cared about her. I would cry sometimes because I am TERRIFIED that I would become like her. I don't want that life.
Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I try my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you
I don't know how to let anyone else in
Because of you
I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty
Because of you
I am afraid
Because of you
Because of you
When I finished, I looked at Bonnie and she had tears rolling down her cheeks. "Bonnie, you have no idea how much you hurt me, my parents especially. I was just a toddler Bon-Bon. There is so much you have missed in the past 10 years. Cheerleading, school, singing, c'mon! I was even in a pageant but you weren't there. Every day, I try my best to forget all of the horrible things that I've been through. I try and put on a brave face for everybody. But guess what Bonnie, on the inside, I am still broken-hearted, scared, and guarded." I said to her. I had tears ready to come out of my eyes.
She started to sob. But I had to continue. "Why Bonnie, why did you want to kill your own flesh and blood?" I asked her. She looked at me with those same eyes she would give me on those nights when she cried.
"Because Sam, I had to. I am clinically insane. I feel guilty because I wasn't there. I feel angry towards you and your parents. I feel regretful because all of the misery I have put you through. And, I regret my past. Please, Sam, you've got to believe me." She pleaded to me. I shook my head.
"Bonnie, as much as I love you, I can't believe you. Do you know how many times I have heard that from you and every time you have let me down? I'm sorry Bonnie." I apologized one last time. I opened the door and looked back at her. This will be the last time I would see her in a while.
"Goodbye Bon-Bon." I told her. She started sobbing again. I stepped outside and slid down to the floor. That was hard telling my cousin that I don't believe her. Do I forgive her? I will eventually because in the end, the experience would make me a stronger person mentally and emotionally.
A/N: This was a deep chapter to write as well. Wow. So, how was that? We know another reason why Bonnie is psycho. :) She's clinically insane which explains a lot. I'm not sure if I will have time to update tomorrow but I will definitely update this weekend. The song is called 'Because of you' by Kelly Clarkson. I OWN NOTHING! Well, there isn't a lot to say. So, read and review! :D I love to hear feedback.
Baby names? :)
Thanks for reviewing SmellyThePirate, TivaIsMyWorld, conservativegirl, and fiasco. :D You guys are awesome.
P.S. Thanks conservativegirl for your condolences. I'm slowly accepting the fact that she is gone every single day. And it's something Abby would probably say. Lol.