Ana's P.O.V
I sit on the bed waiting for Christian to come home. I've already put Teddy to bed so we wouldn't have any disturbances. I hear his footsteps up the stairs and turn to face the door. He opens the door and walks in the room in his dress pants and his white shirt with the sleeves rolled up.
"Hi."
"Hey, I thought you would already be asleep."
"No I actually went out today."
"Really?" He sat down next to me."
"Yeah, I went out with Teddy and your mom to the park and out to lunch. It felt good just being outside and in sunlight."
"That's great."
"I also wanted to talk to you, about the kids."
"Okay. But first I want you to be comfortable when talking about this. Can we take a bath together?"
"Christian you know I still want to wait until I'm ready."
"I know., this isn't purely sexual. I haven't touch or held you in so long. I just want to have a night with you and just talk."
"Okay." We get up from the bed and go into the bathroom together. I sit on the toilet while Christian gets the bath started. He adds in the lavender bath salts that I like and I light a couple of candles to help me relax. We've haven't really spent intimate time together so I figured it could be nice to make it a little romantic. I turn my head and see the bubbles start to rise in the tub. We start taking off our clothes and we left in just our skin. He helps me into the tub and move to ones side of the tub. He gets in and sits back on the other side. I put my hair in a lazy bun with the hair tie on my arm and sit back completely.
"How do you feel?"
"This is really nice. I missed doing this."
"Me too." He starts to massage my feet and I feel the tension in my feet and ankles start to release. I remember what we need to talk about and move off my back onto his lap, wrapping my arms around his shoulders.
"Christian, I want to talk about the baby."
"Okay."
"I'm sorry for shutting you out. I really just feel into this hole that I kept digging deeper myself into."
"I get it. I felt that so many times thinking it was going to get better but it does."
"It's just trying for this baby has been dissapointing and frustrating."
"I understand."
"I know that I would've miscarried if we kept it but feeling part of you die was like a knife to the gut. And I know you felt the same too and I never asked how you felt about it all."
"It hurt. That I couldn't help you or fix it somehow. Having to watch you go through that was painful to see and I never want you go through that again." I touch his cheek and kiss his forehead.
"Promise me if you ever feel like your hurting, talk to me. Even when the other person shuts off, don't keep it all in."
"Okay." He kisses me softly and rests his forehead against mine. "Do you wanna stop trying?"
"I want to put it on pause but I don't to give up."
"Neither do I."
"I do want to try again when the new year, I just need time to heal. For us to heal together. Do you want to stop trying?"
"No but I don't want to jump into it again. I want us to take our time."
"One step at a time." I hug him and he holds me in his arms for I don't know how long. We forget the noise and remember each other."
Thanksgiving 2013
I walk down the stairs with Teddy at my hip dressed in his holiday clothes for dinner. He's been waiting on The Grey Family Thanksgiving feast all afternoon. He took his nap and he's ready to eat and so is his daddy. I walk past the living room and Christian watch the game with his dad and Elliot. Seeing him having fun puts a smile on my face. We've been going to counseling after the losing the baby and been spending more time together as a family. Tonight I want to have the night to ourselves. We've haven't had sex in two months and he's been so patient with me. But I want to connect with my husband again.
I walk into the kitchen and see Kate in the kitchen making her mashed potatoes and mac n cheese. She loves her side dishes for Thanksgiving and even now that she's pregnant she is practically living in the kitchen. She's only four months along but she's starting to show easily. She's not a poncho girl but she is one until they announce the pregnancy.
"Something smells good." We walk over and stand next to her, taking a sniff of the fumes coming from the bowls.
"You both have to wait until this makes it to the table."
"Come on, Teddy's been waiting all morning and mama's hungry. Can we just get a little?" I start to make a face and hold Teddy next to me as he makes his boy doll face.
"Okay you both can have a little." She takes two spoons and takes a whip of mashed potatoes. I take one spoon while she feeds a little bit to Teddy.
"That's so good."
"Thank you."
"So how much longer are you going to be wearing ponchos?" I ask her.
"We're waiting for the right time." I put Teddy in his high chair and give him a cookie. I walk back to Kate and take her hand, her responding by turning to me.
"Kate, you don't have to put it off for me. It's your baby, have your moment."
"Are you sure?"
"One hundred percent."
"Thank you." She hugs me and we have a moment together. "God, did you always cry this much when you were pregnant?"
"Only when my stomach kept getting bigger and my shoes couldn't fit anymore." We laugh as we seperate from our hug. "Listen, do you mind taking Teddy with you black friday shopping?"
"Of course. Are you staying behind?"
"Yeah. Me and Christian are going to have some times to ourselves after dinner."
"Oooh, I got you."
"We haven't had anytime for it in months and we've been through so much therapy to get back to us."
"I get it. Well we can take Teddy out for as long as you want. Do you need anything? Condoms? Lube? Flogger?"
"Kate!" I hit her shoulder to keep her voice down.
"I'm just kidding."
After dinner, Christian and I volunteer to clean up and stay in while everyone goes out to shop and see the Christmas lights. Christian and I are washing the dishes next to each other, sneaking in smiling smirks at each other.
"So it's just us in the house?" He says to me.
"Yeah it is just us. There's a lot to do on our own."
"Yeah."
"How about we finish up here and take some wine upstairs and watch a movie or something."
"That sounds good."
"I'll meet you upstairs."
"Okay." I kiss his cheek and walk over to the counter to grab a bottle of wine and two glasses. I walk out of the kitchen and rush upstairs to get myself ready. I go into his room and sit the bottle and glass down on the nightstand. I look through my suitcase and find my maroon bra and panties. I strip down my clothes and change into the lingerie. I take my hair out of it's ponytail and pull apart the waves. I walk over to the light switch and turn down the lights giving a sultry vibe to the room. I sit down on the bed and arch my back a little to look sexy. I get my breathing settled and wait for Christian to come to the room. I sit on my elbows and start to hear his footsteps. I bite my lip and raise my shoulders. The door opens and Christian walks in with a bowl of popcorn and a shocked look in his face.
"Hi."
"Hi. I thought we were watching a movie?"
"I thought we could have time for our own little movie."
"Really?" He says putting the popcorn down on a seaperate table. He walks over to me and stands in front of my legs. I sit up as he gets on his knees in front of me.
"I know we've been taking our time. I've missed you and want to connect with you." I put my hands on his face and look him in the eyes. He rests his hands on my shoulders and
"Are you sure?"
"Yes. Mae love to me Christian." He kisses me as he gets up. He walks to the door and when I think he's about to leave but he instead locks the door. He turns back around and takes his grey dress shirt, leaving him in a whitebeater. He gets back down on his knees and he starts to kiss me deeply. I wrap my legs around his waist and press my chest against his. He wraps his arms around my back and lays me down on the bed.