Chapter 10

It was Monday night. Santana was extremely exhausted. A couple of delivery boys had messed up with the bouquets they were supposed to deliver and ended up giving red roses to a widow instead of a soon to be fiancée. Not the best image for your shop.

Santana let them stay because they begged her and she was feeling a bit happy these days. Nevertheless she was so worn out because she and Britt had stayed up all night watching movies, cuddling and making out at Britt's place.

Santana thought it was a bad idea but once Brittany pouted and gave her the saddest puppy eyes she could muster Santana gave in.

She was beginning to think that maybe Quinn was right. Maybe she would end up all whipped like her best friend and would surrender to everything Britt would ask her to do.

Santana sighed to the thought while turning off her computer and grabbing her keys, purse and phone from her desk. Her phone started to buzz in her hand and when she looked down a huge smile made an appearance at her face.

Yeah, she wouldn't mind to be so whipped if it meant making Brittany happy.

Damn Lopez, what happened to you? Santana sighed and answered the call from her girlfriend.

"Hey baby"

"Hi Sanny. Are you busy?"

"I'm just stepping out of my office" Santana locked her office and said her goodbyes to the attendants that were cleaning the shop as she walked out. "Why?"

"No reason, just seeing if I was interrupting you"

"Oh, not at all. Did you have a good time on your day off?"

"Yeah… I slept a lot"

"That makes one of us" Santana muttered. It wasn't supposed to be heard by Brittany, but she did hear it.

"Ow, sorry baby. I just wanted to cuddle with you"

"No, I'm not complaining… I had an amazing time last night… but kind of made it harder to get by today"

"So that means I won't see you today?" Santana could hear a bit of sadness in Brittany's voice.

Santana never wanted to hear such thing in her girlfriend's voice so she rapidly answered "Of course you'll see me tonight. My place?"

"Sure, I'll be there in an hour"

"Perfect"

"See you in a bit"

"See you"

Santana hung up and got in her car. She had been standing at the door for about three minutes with her keys in her hand. Santana climbed in, started the engine and drove home.

She arrived as soon as she could and ran to her shower. She wanted to be fresh and clean for when Brittany arrived and she had little time for it. Santana showered as soon as she could, running to her closet and tucking some comfy but nice clothes out of it. She got dressed and cleaned around her bedroom, placing some cloths back on her closet that she had discarded that morning.

As Santana was placing the last shirt in the closet her doorbell rang. She looked back to her room and the rest of the apartment while walking to the door. Santana opened the door and greeted her girlfriend with a warm smile.

"Hey there sexy"

Santana smirked at the greetings from Brittany.

"Hi baby, come in" Santana stepped aside and Brittany walked in.

Every time Brittany would walk inside the apartment and glance at the living room she would remember the special night Santana prepared for her; warmth spreading through her body every single time.

"I brought some wine" Brittany raised the bottle she was holding with her right hand "I thought it might help you relax after your hard day"

"Thank you" Santana stepped closer to her girlfriend, after closing the front door, she kissed her on the lips for a couple of seconds before pulling away "so thoughtful of you"

They both walked to the living room and Santana kept going till she was at the kitchen "Do you want me to order something?"

"I could make you something"

"Thanks Britt-" Santana walked back to the living room with the bottle and two glasses "but I'd rather you and me just hang out here"

"Okay. Pizza?"

"Pizza it is" Santana dialed the pizza place while Brittany poured wine into the two glasses.

Santana hung up and Brittany handed her glass. They both lay against the back of the couch; Brittany had her right elbow propped over the back and her head resting on her hand.

Santana rested her head on the back of the couch and glanced at Brittany, both their bodies directed to the other. Brittany reached out and brushed her under her eyes and eyelids, making her close her eyes at soon as their skin touched.

"You do look tired. I shouldn't have come…"

Santana opened her eyes immediately and straightened herself.

"I'm not tired, see"

Brittany chuckled and leaned in kissing her over each her eyelids and then on the lips.

"Yes you are, but I'm glad you're trying to stay up for me"

"How long have we been dating?" Santana suddenly asked.

"Um… officially?"

"In general"

"Then I would say almost a month"

"I feel like it has been longer. They way I feel about you Britt" Santana shook her head slightly "No one has ever made me feel like this. Ever"

Brittany grinned at her and then kissed her one more time on her lips. She hadn't been happier in her life, either. None of her previous boyfriends/girlfriends had ever made her feel like this, either.

But then Brittany remembered something Kurt told her once. Something Quinn told Kurt and then he told her.

"What about that girl you dated so long ago?"

Brittany whispered against Santana's lips. Santana stifled herself and was like that for a couple of seconds, with her eyes closed.

"Who told you about her?" Santana knew who it could be.

"Kurt"

That confused Santana. How the hell Kurt knew about her first girlfriend. Brittany noticed the confused look on Santana so she explained.

"Quinn told him and he told me"

Santana looked down and then to the rest of the room, trying to avoid Britt's eyes.

"I don't want to talk about it, B" Santana was serious now.

That event, that girl, had left scars in her that were untouchable right now. Brittany has been the only one able to break some of her walls, but not all of them yet.

Santana straightened herself so Brittany had to lean back on her side. Santana rested her elbows on her knees while leaning to the front, facing away from Brittany.

"Why not?"

Just in that second her doorbell rang and Santana thanked whichever force helped her in this. She stood up and walked to her door. She handed the guy the money and walked back in and towards the kitchen without a word to Brittany.

Brittany followed her not sure of what she should do, so she stayed at the frame watching her girlfriend swirl around the kitchen looking for things.

Brittany frowned and looked down. She felt bad for how the things changed so fast.

"Do you want me to go?"

"No" Santana answered rapidly, making feel Brittany better. "Let's just not talk about it, okay?"

"Okay" Brittany nodded "But, we will talk about it at some point, right?"

"Of course" Santana reassured her, not so sure she was going to be able to talk about it at said point.

The night went along a bit stressed. Santana couldn't come back to her chirpy self that normally is around her girlfriend. Brittany could sense it and at some point it would upset her to know how much it affects her girlfriend something that happened so long ago.

Brittany feared that maybe Santana wasn't over her ex and that is why it never worked out with her girlfriends. She really hoped that was not the case.

Brittany left early that night. She didn't want to push things too far so she decided it was better to go.

Santana didn't sleep much that night either. She kept thinking about the way Brittany's attitude change after seeing Santana's reaction. Santana feared exactly what Brittany was thinking.

She didn't want her to feel bad about them, or insecure. Santana knew it was too early to be in love with her, but surely she cared a lot about Brittany. She felt like someday she could say she loved her with all her heart, she knew that she could. And deep down she knew it would most likely be soon.

Brittany was so different from the rest of the girls she ever dated; she was so much better and had made such an impact on her that it will definitely make her stay. Santana couldn't imagine her life without that beautiful blonde, without those glazing blue eyes, with her bright smile that was only for her.

The next day went by and Brittany didn't call Santana. She wanted to give her the space she thought she needed. But Santana didn't see it in that way. Santana thought that maybe Brittany was hurt about the way she had reacted; and Brittany was, a little bit.

Santana was down when she arrived to her place without a word from her girlfriend in all day. Santana had texted Brittany around eight but Brittany hadn't texted back. Santana was sad about it, maybe it was worst than she previously thought it was?

Santana had only place a foot inside her apartment when she stepped back and walked out of the apartment and ran to the elevator.

She went back to the shop and picked up a gardenia and then drove to Brittany's place. She arrived but saw that Britt's car wasn't there so she waited outside her door for her to arrive.

She was falling asleep about fifteen minutes later leaning against her door with the gardenia in her hands. The lack of sleep from the previous couple of nights weren't helping her to stay awake.

"Santana?" she heard someone calling her name. Santana opened her eyes and saw Brittany kneeled by her side shaking her to wake up.

"Britt" Santana rubbed her eyes and looked around, trying to remember what she wanted to say.

"What are you doing here?"

"I- I didn't want you to be upset about yesterday"

Brittany's eyes softened at this and she helped her girlfriend stand up.

"Here, this is for you" Santana handed her the gardenia and Brittany smiled warmly at her "I'm sorry about yesterday"

"I know you are, but you didn't have to come all the way here"

"When you didn't answer my text I just thought that you might…"

"Oh, Sanny" Brittany looked at her apologetically "I forgot my phone here when I left to work… and I didn't call you before because I wanted to give you your space"

Santana sighed and looked down. So much for worrying so badly.

"But it means a lot that you came all the way here and waited for me to arrive so that we would be okay"

Brittany reached out for her girlfriend's cheek, caressing it while looking into her eyes. Santana's eyes sparkled under the light coming from the hallway. Santana was zoned out in the deep blue of Brittany's eyes, she couldn't break the stare.

Brittany smiled and leaned down to kiss her girlfriend on the lips. It was so soft and so lingering that made Santana crumbled inside.

Brittany opened her door and pulled Santana in by her hand.

"I did a lot of thinking last night…" Santana trailed on.

"Yeah?" they walked into the living room and Britt sat on the biggest couch, one leg propped over the couch and an arm over the back, facing Santana who was sitting by her side.

"Yeah. I was thinking about how stupid it was from me to freak out the way I did about something that happened so long ago"

Santana was looking at her clasped hands over her lap. She had made her mind the night before and along the day that it was time to talk about Gwen. Santana couldn't let it affect her so badly.

"Why does it affect you so bad? Do you… do you still have… feelings…?" it was hard for Brittany to finish the question, but when Santana caught on what her girlfriend was trying to say she looked up to her and into her eyes.

"Britt, I can assure you it's not like that. I don't have that kind of feelings for Gwen or whatsoever"

Finally a name to call the girl, Brittany thought.

"Then I really don't understand why"

"Those are times I really don't want to remember. My dad had passed away around that time and Gwen helped me a lot through it. But it was also that it was so hard for me to accept that I preferred girls over boys. I was so confused and she helped me a lot to accept myself. We did everything together and when she said she loved me I guess it was my cue to come out of the closet…"

Santana was facing the living room but her eyes were lost in the memories of so long ago. She hadn't thought about those years in so long; every time one of her friends tried to bring it up she would just snapped at them, so after a while they knew better not to do so.

"We dated for over a year… it was awesome. We had plans of moving out of Lima and starting over at LA but then it happened… we were at a party at Puck's house and I was getting so drunk so I started searching for Gwen"

Brittany was so lost in Santana's memories as well. She slid closer to her girlfriend and took her hand without thinking; Santana intertwined their hands and squeezed a bit.

"I got to Puck's bedroom and found her with a friend of her making out over the bed. They were almost naked so you can imagine what they were about to do. I ran out of the party and then walked back to my house…

"She tried to talk to me the next day about it but I wouldn't have it. She just said she was sorry but that a long time before she just wasn't feeling the same for me. She crushed me, she torn me apart and set me on fire"

Brittany's other hand was trailing circles on Santana's back, comforting her.

"Those days I promised I would never let anyone get that close to me. If you don't let people in they can't hurt you"

Santana sighed and then glanced to her girlfriend. Brittany was frowning looking into her eyes.

"But then you walked in and destroyed all the walls that took me so long to build"

Brittany smiled at this.

"Please Britt, don't hurt me. I couldn't handle it one more time, especially from you" Santana was pleading, her eyes covered with unreleased tears.

"I promise I'll do my best not to" Brittany leaned in and kissed her on the lips "I could never hurt you Sanny, I can't even think about the possibility of doing it"

Their foreheads were against each other, their noses touching. Santana closed her eyes and the gap separating their lips. The kiss was a bit desperate. Santana was still emotional and couldn't control herself from all the overwhelming things that she had let come up.

But Brittany was patient, she kissed her girlfriend softly, reassuring what she just said and pleading that Santana wouldn't hurt her, as well.

*A/N.- so yeah, i know it's not so long but i kind of don't have much time right now... and i didn't want to leave you with nothing so this came up.

my betta had been asking me to say what happened with San's ex so there you go hahaha thats what happened. hope you enjoyed and please review!