And finally! the moment you've all been waiting for! what does the potion do? read on! hope you like it!

-oli

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Chapter 10:

House Elf Pandemonium

Hermione woke groggily on the cold stone floor – wait – floor? Why was she on the floor? She propped herself into a sitting position and the invisibility cloak slipped slightly off her shoulders. She stared at it and memories of the past few hours flooded her mind.

Finished spiking the drinks… sneaking back to the common room when………..

SNAPE SINGING IN A YELLOW DUCKIE BATHROBE!

Her mind reeled and threatened to knock her out cold again. After she got over her shock and disgust, she checked the time, 5:03 am. Well that was a relief, she still had time to return to her bed and pretend to sleep.

She sprinted back to the portrait and whispered the password. She then crept up the stairs to the girl's dorm and fell into an exhausted slumber.

………….3 ½ H O U R S L A T E R ……….

"Hermione!... Her-mi-oh-neeee!" Lavender yelled, "Get up!... Rise and Shine?... Wakie wakie eggs and bakie!... Get up nooooowww!"

Hermione complied slowly, then remembered what she had done just hours before. A goofy smile sprang to her face and she bounced happily out of bed.

"Why are you so damn cheerful today?" asked a confused Lavender.

"Uhmm…. We're getting our transfiguration results back today?" Hermione supplied quickly.

"Oh right… don't remind me," Lavender groaned.

Hermione threw on some clothes and skipped downstairs to the common room where Harry and Ron awaited her.

"Mornin' Mione!" Harry greeted

"Foooood! I need fooood!" Ron moaned.

"Good morning Harry… Ron" she added as an afterthought.

"Less talking! More moving!" He demanded as he ushered them towards the portrait.

Hermione was just as happy to do so and let herself and Harry be prodded down the halls by the ravenous Weasley.

They took their seats and Hermione eyed the beverage pitchers nervously. She fidgeted and her hands shook as she poured herself a tall glass of pumpkin juice. She would just have to trust the twin's potion making skills.

"Err.. pumpkin juice anyone?" she asked

Ron's hand shot up, but his face stayed buried in his towering mountain of eggs as Hermione filled his cup to the brim. He took a brief reprieve from inhaling food to take a large gulp of his juice.

'One down, a couple hundred more to go,' Hermione thought evilly to herself, 'but what if some people didn't take a drink?

Hermione shouldn't have worried because her problem was soon to be settled.

Dumbledore rose clumsily from his seat at the head table and cleared his throat (very loudly for approximately 17 ½ seconds).

"Damn phlegm!" he managed to croak.

He proceeded to cough and attempt to clear his throat for about 11 more seconds until Madame Pomfrey bustled over with a hideously pink potion for him to swallow.

"Ahh… thank you Poppy, that's much better."

He looked around at his students who were not paying the slightest amount of attention. They looked extremely bored/pissed off by having to wait 27 ½ seconds plus the extra 12 seconds it took him to chug the potion. (Colin however had managed to get several authentic photos of Dumbledore choking on his own nasal drippings. But that's not really pertinent)

"Attention! Attention!" he cried while banging his knife on his gold rimmed plate. "Attention damn it! He repeated while whacking his poor plate with a renewed ferocity. (this succeeded in not only shattering the expensive looking plate, but also in gaining most of the student's attention.

"I should like to propose a toast (his shrewd eyes gleamed as he caught and held Hermione's gaze) to three more days of classes, four more days until our annual winter ball, and five more days until Christmas! (or Hanukkah!)" He tipped the contents of his goblet into his mouth and looked expectantly at the Hogwarts students to do the same. They stared at him wondering fleetingly if he had finally rocked off his rocker. What kind of a toast was that?

"Oh come now!" he chided. "It's just a toast! Have a little holiday spirit or I'll be forced to install the mistletoe again!" (Just last year, the crazed headmaster had jinxed the mistletoe to follow any two people who had the misfortune to walk under it together, and keep them within three feet of each other until they kissed.)

The student body hurriedly raised their goblets in toast and swallowed at the headmaster's threat.

Hermione's hand trembled violently as she brought her cup to her mouth. She flinched as the juice touched her lips then fearfully sipped the sweet liquid. Well at least now, she knew that everyone had consumed some of the Weasley twins' potion. Now she just had to wait until the effects began to set in.

"Feeling okay?" Harry asked kindly.

"Yeah I just,"

'pOp!' a cloud of orange smoke interrupted her mid-sentence, and wafted away to reveal a dumpy looking house elf with large blue tennis ball eyes, and a few wiry red hairs protruding from its nearly bald head.

"Ron?" Harry asked incredulously.

The elf looked down and gasped in horror, "Ro… Ron be a elf!" it whimpered.

"Ha! Lookin' good Weasel!" Malfoy smirked as he strode past. He halted abruptly and collapsed on the floor. This was followed by a loud pop accompanied by a silvery green burst of smoke. A second elf stood before the Gryffindor table. Its icy blue eyes widened in terror as it felt its oversized ears and sparsely rooted, platinum blonde hairs.

"Gahh!" it screeched, "Draco be elf! Draco be elf! Heeeeelp! Draco pureblood no elf! No elf!"

The students' heads swiveled over in his direction as the newly transformed elf began banging its head repeatedly along the ornately carved table leg, as if to rid itself of its elflike qualities.

Ron (the elf) stared dumbfounded into space repeating, "Ron not be elf… Ron not elf… Ron dreaming… no elf… no elf in shower… never elf in shower."

Pandemonium erupted as a series of 'pOp' s were heard followed by a wide array of colored smoke. As the colors mixed an intertwined, the great hall was left in a grayish , muddy fog and mutterings, shouts, and frenzied squeaks were heard throughout.

"Pansy/Cho/Seamus/Severus/Ginny/Dean/Hannah/Ernie/(insert name here) not be elf! Noooo! Not elf!"

All throughout the rising chaos, a small mousy haired elf with chocolate brown eyes squealed happily, "Hermy be elf! Hermy plan working!" she paused and frowned slightly, "Hermy not be remembering proper grammar.

To be continued…

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