Allysandra: Okay I believe this story's winding down.

Tetra: Really! I didn't even know we hit the climax yet!

Celestria: Ignore her! Here's a little about us: Allysandra's the smart one, I'm the weird one (I admit it), Artemis is the crazy one, Tetra's the ditzy one, and Calab...well...he's just a pest.

Artemis: Why he's death, no one knows. Scary huh?

Calab: "I love you, you love me..."

Allysandra: Shut up brat! You can tell Father I said that too! Let's get on with the damn fic!

Tetra: Yah! On with the fic... Ohh look Bold and the Beautiful's on! (Runs off wildly)

Allysandra: This is the last chapter before the epilogue.

Warning: This chapter is unsuitable for readers under 17. Kind of like every other chapter we've written. But this is probably the worst. Screw the innocent.

Ch. 10

Sesshomaru ran off to his room to start plans on his torture chamber room while Inuyasha sat at the kitchen table writing his will. "Alright! I'll give my entire Shellknot CD collection to..." Izayoi burst in wearing her headphones singing to Shellknot.

She grabbed a bottle of wine and left. Inuyasha continued writing. "...to my dad instead of my mom." Inuyasha stopped again when he heard a knock at the...window? He walked towards the window, which happens to be closest to the ocean, and opened it. Suddenly he let out a shriek of despair.

He saw Inutaisho "floating" on water that rose from the ocean floor. "Yo, brat! Get that hot chick of a mother of yours here so I's (deliberate) can talk to her!"

Inuyasha was about to slam the window in his face when Sesshomaru burst in with a blinfold and a leather whip. He stared at his father long and hard before responding to what he saw. "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT!" He grabbed Inuyasha in a "protective" embrace.

Unfortunantly, Izayoi heard Sesshomaru's totally inappropriate screams and came to investigate. She walked in and saw Inuyasha being squeezed to death by Sesshomaru, and Inutaisho, her worst nightmare, at the window "flying" in the air.

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE! I THOUGHT I GOT RID OF YOU!" she screamed at him.

Inutaisho grinned and ran a hand through his ponytail and said, "I'm back, baby. How 'bout a kiss? You know, you actually make me want to go straight again... I just said that out loud didn't I? Shit!"

Inuyasha turned to Sesshomaru. "You're...you're..." he stammered. Sesshomaru tilted his head. "I'm what?" he asked. Inuyasha took a deep breath. "You're my brother!" he yelled. Naraku popped up beside Inutaisho, obviously drunk. "Sesshomaru...man...y-y-you...banged...your...brother's...a-a-ss!"

Sesshomaru and Inuyasha blushed furiously while Izayoi, Inutaisho, and Bankotsu (the crazy French chef, I don't know how he got in there) all looked at the two surprised. Naraku looked around and saw everyone looking at the two and decided he too should look at them surprised. Inuyasha shook his head furiously.

"I'm a virgin...!" he turned to Sesshomaru. "Right?" sesshomaru backed away. Inuyasha was angry. "When!" Sesshomaru looked at him with a puppy-dog look.

"Remember when you fell asleep in my arms after Miroku tried to tap that fine ass of yours?" Inuyasha blushed worse than ever.

"You pervert!" he jumped him.

While this was going on, Naraku had sneaked to the dungeon. "Well looks like Kagura and Kanna get a new toy (dun dun dun). He took off with him. (Bye bye Miroku. We love Miroku but in this story, no one is safe!)

Back upstairs in the kitchen...

For a while, Hiten was trying to understand what had just happened. (He's not very quick, is he?) He had just found out that he wasn't Inuyasha's father anymore. 'Sweet!' he thought wickedly. 'Now I can screw Inuyasha and Sesshomaru and not feel guilty about it!'

Unfortunantly, Sesshomaru saw the lust in his eyes. "YOU SICK SON OF A BITCH! INUYASHA'S MINE!" He roared. Inuyasha rolled his eyes. "You are really possessive do you know that?" he asked him. While Inuyasha, Sesshomaru, and Hiten were arguing about who-loves-who more, Izayoi and Inutaisho were having a very disturbing discussion.

"Oh and do you remember the time in the bathroom downstairs when I showed what I could really do?" Izayoi said. (Bathroom is underwater. It overflowed a long time ago. Get it!) Inutaisho laughed. It sounded like a dog barking.

"Oh yeah! I remember that! You never worked harder in your life! Of course that was the time when we had Sesshomaru so all that hard work contributed to Sesshomaru's hard and empty head!" said Inutaisho. They both laughed whole-heartedly for some time before exchanging a glance and disappearing out of the window. (Insert idea here! Snicker!)

Back to Sesshomaru and Inuyasha...Hiten has been knocked out again...

Inuyasha was telling Sesshomaru off when he felt a sharp pain in his stomache. "Further more...OW! Damn! What the fuck!" he yelled as he doubled over in pain. Sesshomaru's eyes widened.

"Baby, are you ok?" he asked. Inuyasha glared. "Yes, I like doubling over in pain you idiot!" Sesshomaru looked relieved. "Oh good. I was worried for a minute." Before Inuyasha could snap at him, Kaede, the 98 year old nurse followed by her snotty old cow of an assistant, Kikyo, who never smiled. (If you are a Kikyo lover, we apologize) Inuyasha cringed.

Kikyo was a well known slut in the kingdom. She had done everything in her power to seduce him.

Inuyasha, between each pain, looked up and yelled at Kaede for Kikyo's presence. "WHAT THE FUCK IS SHE DOING HERE! DOES ANYBODY KNOW WHAT KIND OF TORMENT THAT WHORE PUT ME THROUGH!

I WOKE UP WITH A DIRTY UNDERSHIRT, THAT I HAD BEEN WEARING FOR HOURS IN THE SUN, DUCK-TAPED IN MY MOUTH AND I WAS TIED BOY-SCOUT STYLE TO THE BED!" Kaede rolled her eyes and walked toward Inuyasha.

"Oh stop bitching about that bitch in my wake. It's bad enough I have to work with her! Please don't remind me that she's there!" she yelled. Sesshomaru was still stunned at the news about what Kikyo had done to HIS Inuyasha. "She tied Inuyasha, MY Inuyasha, to a bed! Well, continue. Tell me the rest of the story so I have more reason to beat her ass into Hell!"

Kikyo turned to him. "I'm standing right here, ya know!" Sesshomaru snapped. "I don't care! What else did you do to my mate?"

Kaede interrupted. "Inuyasha, we need to perform some urinary tests." Inuyasha looked at her. "Huh?" he asked. Kikyo got all googly eyed. "We need you to piss in this cup." She said producing a plastic cup with a cap. Inuyasha's eyes went as wide as Inutaisho's when he spys on Sesshomaru dressing and undressing.

"(cough, cough)...um...I don't uh...WHAT!" Kaede almost threw her medical kit at Inuyasha's dumb head. "FOR CHRIST'S SAKE! PEE IN THE DAMN CUP ALREADY! WE DON'T HAVE ALL DAY!" She stormed off to find some herbs for her medicine. Kikyo handed the cup to Inuyasha and walked to a corner so she wouldn't peek. (Yeah, right! and Kanna has a great personality)

"Geez!" Inuyasha said upset. "They weren't kidding were they!" Inuyasha took the cup, went into the bathroom, and did his business.

With Inutaisho and Izayoi...

Instead of staying with Inuyasha, Izayoi loaded Inutaisho into a little red wagon she had since childhood and pulled him toward her room. (Aaaalright! ;)) "Uggg!" grunted Izayoi. "Almost there!" Inutaisho rolled his eyes. "That's what you said three flights of stairs ago! I could have crawled here faster!"

Izayoi ignored this remark and kept tugging until...FINALLY. "Yes! We made it!" she squealed. Inutaisho climbed out of the wagon and crawled toward the bed. With Izayoi's help, he was on the bed in seconds.

"Now how about a game of 'Bouncy Seahorse'? he said with a wink. And they did.

Back with Inuyasha...

3 hours of yelling, cursing, things being thrown (mostly Kikyo) later, the tests were over. Kaede was wide-eyed and pale. "Er...um...uuh...I-Inuy-ash-a? We have the test results back." she said nervously. Inuyasha sighed. "Finally! What's wrong with me?" Kaede just stared from him, to Sesshomaru, to Inuyasha's stomache, and back again.

(Enter Jeopardy music) Sesshomaru glared at her after a minute. "What! Tell us now you old bitch!" Kaede ignored him and took a deep breath."Inuyasha, I don't know how to tell you this but..." Everyone waited impatiently. Finally Kaede spoke...

"Inuyasha...you're...pregnant...with... 5 pups."

Allysandra: (Evil laugh) How'd you like that!

Tetra: Wow that's gotta hurt! Hey! Celestria! Come back with my peanut butter!

Celestria: She likes peanut butter! Here! Peanut butter mongrol!

Artemis: This has been going on for hours.

Calab: (Stares into space)...(Crikets chirp)

Allysandra: Okay. Tell us if you'd like a sequel after we get through with the epiloque.