A/N: I still hate the previous chapter, and I still don't know why, lol. But no, this fic is not going on hiatus. Updates may still be more spread out (as in, I may not get to post a chapter every other day as I had planned and have obviously not been doing), but it will continue, no question about that. PS – I'm so happy the holidays are over... wooh.
Exigo
Chapter Five
Location: Circle Tower, Lake Calenhad
POV: Cullen
Cullen wasn't exactly certain whether or not he should be happy about being right. After all, he had been able to spend two more weeks standing guard outside Lennith's door, but the time seemed to pass too quickly for his liking. After the news of Chasan and the other templars, and before they returned, a barrier between both mage and templar completely disappeared. Whether Lennith had realized it or not, she had begun to talk more with him and spend less time on her research. Cullen, in turn, would actually reply with more than one word responses. It seemed the two of them were determined to spend as much time "together" as they could while they still had the time.
The day the templars had returned, Greagoir summoned Cullen to his office to update him and let him know that he would stand guard outside the Grey Warden's room one more night before returning to his previous post. Being the obedient templar he no longer wanted to be, Cullen nodded in affirmation before leaving the Knight-Commander's office to head directly to the training room. There, he spent hours venting his frustration, annoyance, sadness and any other negative emotion that had built up inside. Well, at least he wasn't the only one that was right; Lennith did say he would probably be returned to his old post. But why did it hurt to be right?
The last night that Cullen stood outside Lennith's room was unlike any other. It was as if a black cloud had ascended over the two, and neither knew what to say. Or perhaps neither of them wanted to say anything. Lennith sat at her desk, reading from a book and taking notes, while Cullen stood ever-faithfully outside the room. Although little was said, Cullen could tell that she didn't want to go to bed. For hours later than normal, Lennith continued to read, every so often rubbing her eyes and very often yawning. He knew she would have normally gone to sleep long ago, but he was thankful she wanted to stay up. Conversation or no, he was still comfortable around her. And since it was their last night together...
The next morning, when Lennith awoke after so few hours of sleep and sadly bade him goodbye before heading downstairs to eat, Cullen sighed and took off for the training room. Perhaps if he mindlessly hit things with his sword he could forget the sadness that wanted to crush him. It wasn't very hard for him to lose himself in combat, and not long after he began, almost all thought and feeling left him as he repeatedly hit the target dummy. Thankfully the stuffed doll had been made quite well, otherwise, Cullen would have probably beat the thing to a pulp within moments.
Hours quickly passed by, and he barely noticed, too caught up moving his arms and his body, flowing with his sword as he sliced it through the air, stabbed it into the dummy, slapped the sides of the metal against the target. Any other templar that had decided to use the training room would quickly take notice of Cullen before promptly deciding to avoid him. Perhaps it was because of the sweat pouring down his entire body combined with the color of his skin, flushed from exertion, or the strange look in his eyes, the tenseness of his body. Either way, they could tell he wasn't all there and knew that if they approached him, he might turn and unthinkingly attack, his body currently dominating his mind.
"What's the Grey Warden doing here?"
Cullen's mind returned to his body, snapping into place and causing him to stop mid-swing. Immediately, the faint scent of lilies reached his nose, and he turned around to look towards the voice, his amber eyes immediately falling upon Lennith. Sweat continued to trickle down his body, and he panted, his heart threatening to burst out of his chest from all the exertion he had thoughtlessly put upon his body.
"I was bored. I've been wandering around the Tower since breakfast and realized that despite the fact I've been made a prisoner on your floor, I don't really know what's up here."
Liar. He wanted to smirk, but found he was too tired to even do that. Either way, he knew she was lying. He didn't question it, didn't pause to think about it, he just knew it. He did, after all, know her. Why she was lying to Chasan, Cullen didn't have a clue, nor did he really try to think about why, rather, he let his body start to relax as he watched and listened in on their conversation.
"Well, this is just the training room. Pretty boring if you ask me, especially with all the smelly templars in here. Hm.. You might prefer our chapel. Religious type or not, the stained glass windows in there are breathtaking."
Cullen snorted to himself and rolled his eyes. No, she wouldn't, you fool, he thought. He knew Lennith wasn't the religious sort, and although she enjoyed things of beauty, she wouldn't set foot inside the chapel unless she really needed to. And suddenly Cullen found himself wanting to cross the room and punch Chasan across the face. The smirk on the younger templar's face, the way he held himself. He was too cocky, and he assumed too much. But rather than follow through with what he wanted to do, Cullen sighed and lowered his sword to the floor, relaxing and reigning in his sudden jealousy.
"Really? Huh. I honestly didn't even bother looking in when I passed it. I figured all chapels looked alike. Well, maybe I will go look at it after all. I'll let you get back to your training."
Yes, go back to your training, you fool, and leave her alone, he thought. Reaching up, Cullen wiped the sweat from his forehead with the back of his arm, his eyes following Lennith and watching as she turned to look towards him and motion towards the door. Once she left the room, Cullen sheathed the sword at his back before picking up a towel and wiping off his face and neck. It dawned on him that she had come looking for him, but why she would do that after all the times she had warned him of possible rumors and whispering apprentices made him worry. Tossing the wet towel to the floor, he turned and made his way out of the training room, immediately following her scent and coming to a stop before her. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing, I'm fine, I just need to ask you something." She was speaking much faster than normal, and he could tell she was doing her best to keep her voice below normal conversation level. "I don't think it would be a good idea if I stayed here and explained it, so just answer me this: if you were given the chance to.. take a vacation of a sort.. to leave the Tower for a while, would you?"
That.. was a question he had not expected. In truth, he figured that something had happened, and she came to him seeking help. Why else would she go out of her way to find him when she was always worried that rumors would spread about them? Pushing the thoughts aside, he raised an eyebrow. "What? Why?"
She shook her head. "Just a yes or a no. Would you be completely averse to leaving the Tower for a while?"
"That would.. depend on many things. I can't just say yes or no without knowing why," he shook his head, looking down at her. And it was the truth. Well, sort of. He sure as hell would like the leave the Tower, but how would that be possible? Either way, her questions were confusing him, and he wasn't sure what to make of them.
"Cullen!" she hissed. "I don't exactly care what people say about me, but if we stand out here chatting, someone will notice, and then someone will say something, and the next thing you know, there will be rumors around the entire Tower about us. I do not wish to mar your reputation, so if I have to make the decision for you, I will, but I would rather not do that. So, yes or no?"
That was the normal Lennith reasoning he had expected from her the moment she had shown up at the training room. There were dozens of questions he wanted to ask her, such as why she was asking him such a thing. He opened his mouth as though about to complain, but sighed and shook his head. She knew what she was doing, he knew that much, so where was he to question her? "Alright, fine. No, I would not mind leaving the Tower, just to, say, get out for a while." Or however long I could get away with it. Forever, even...
"Thank you," she smiled. "If what I have planned works, you'll find out about it later today." With a nod, she turned and quickly rushed down the hall.
Cullen stared after her, totally and utterly confused as to what just happened. Was she planning on leaving the Tower and bringing him with her? At the mere thought, his heart, which had calmed down to a semi-normal beat, went back into overtime. Would such a thing be possible? If anyone could do it, he knew it would be her, but... why? Her research, probably, but still. Shaking his head, Cullen turned to make his way towards his own sleeping quarters. He shouldn't jump to conclusions, he knew as much, but a part of him suddenly felt happy, and he didn't want to get rid of that feeling just yet. Should he wind up disappointed, well, that was certainly possible, but he would deal with it then, not now.
Once in his sleeping quarters, a small square of a room with a bed, a night table and a metal tub for bathing, he closed the door, removed his gauntlets and sat on the corner of his bed. A small smile pulled at the corners of his lips as he thought of all the possibilities, all the chances, all the things he could do if he left the Tower. Big if, though. Part of him really couldn't see Greagoir letting him go, but then again, he knew Lennith could be quite convincing, perhaps even use her status to her advantage. But again, it all fell down to whatever it was she was planning. And then the bigger question: why did she want to get him out of the Tower? He had been at Kinloch Hold for his entire life as a templar and a templar-in-training. The idea was just downright exciting, but again, why?
With a sigh, Cullen stood up and carefully stripped out of his armor, wincing as he felt all his muscles cry out in protest. It seemed he had overdone it a bit. Still wearing the linen trousers and shirt he wore beneath his armor, he moved over to the metal tub and grabbed a large wooden bucket. A warm bath sounded wonderful at the moment, and he left his room to retrieve some hot water. Normally, templar apprentices were the ones who would fill baths for the templars, but Cullen really didn't feel like being bothered at the moment. After a few trips, and some time later, the metal tub in his room was full of warm water, wisps of steam curling up into the colder air. Once removing the rest of his clothes, he slowly stepped into the water and sat down, groaning contently as his muscles immediately began to unwind and loosen up. He leaned back against the higher part of the tub and closed his eyes.
Although he was planning on relaxing, his mind immediately began to swim with thoughts and questions, and it took a while before he could sort them out coherently. Lennith had purposely sought him out to ask him whether or not he wanted to leave the Tower. From that, he could easily conclude that she some how had a plan to get him out of the Tower. Whether or not that included her, he realized, he didn't know, but it wasn't as if she actually had to stay confined within the Tower. She was the Grey Warden, after all, and free to come and go as she pleased. An image from his dreams came to mind, of Lennith in a white dress, and he promptly hoped that should she get him out of the Tower, that she would join him. Again, he thought that perhaps she was planning on continuing her research and would bring him along? But what could she possibly tell Greagoir that would in turn cause the Knight-Commander to freely let Cullen go?
Reaching out of the tub, he grabbed a small bar of soap from the floor and started rubbing it along his arms. If, in the end, he was allowed the leave the Tower, what then? Cullen promptly shook his head. Now was not the time to think or worry about it. If something was going to happen, it was going to happen. If it wasn't, it wasn't. That was the simple truth. All he could do for now, was wait. Pushing those thoughts from his mind, he quickly scrubbed himself clean, dried off and got changed.
With the rest of the day to himself, Cullen, not yet feeling tired, and needing to get his sleep schedule back to what it had been before Lennith returned, made his way down to the dining area for something to eat. Now that the templars had returned, the side of the dining room where they ate had more people than normal. Not wanting his mind to start thinking up more questions that he currently did not have answers to, Cullen sat with one of the groups and ate quietly. Shortly into his meal, Chasan and Saevan, apparently finished with their training, joined the rest of the templars at the long table.
"Ah, man, it feels good to finally sit down and eat something I didn't have to kill with my own hands," Chasan laughed, sitting only a few seats down, and opposite, from Cullen.
"You killed?" Reon spoke up. "From what I remember, you couldn't catch a rabbit, or any other type of small animal. Come to think of it, you couldn't even start a fire without our help." Saevan and Tyan laughed.
"Yeah, well, whatever," Chasan muttered, biting into a piece of bread. "Either way, the point is, I'm glad to be back here. Soft beds, good food, and women."
Saevan snorted. "Don't you mean woman? Swear, all you talked about was the Grey Warden. It was getting rather annoying."
Hearing Lennith's title, Cullen's ears perked up, and he actually started to listen in on the conversation. Some strange part of him was annoyed, as though a lion were quietly growling in the back of his mind.
"Yeah, well, I'm sure everyone agrees she's just downright attractive. Not to mention, we get to stand guard outside her room again tonight," Chasan grinned.
"Attractive, yes, but she's still a mage," Saevan pointed out.
"And the Grey Warden. She's got a bit more leeway than any of the other chicks in this tower," Chasan countered.
And again, Cullen wanted to reach out and punch the younger templar. Who was he to speak of Lennith so? Sure, Cullen wasn't exactly the most experienced man, but he was still a man, and he wasn't stupid enough not to know what the templars were talking about. It was one of the most popular table topics, but it had never centered around Lennith. More and more, Cullen found himself finding it hard to control his growing anger.
Reon nearly spit out his water as he laughed. "What, you think she'd spend the night with you? Get over yourself, Chasan."
"Well why not?" he shrugged. "She's a woman, same as all others, except I'm sure most people would avoid her like the plague if she showed an interest. I'm sure she's itching to take a man to bed."
Cullen had stopped eating a while ago, but he still held his fork, and his hand was painfully clenching on it. Slowly, the metal was bending. A conflict was raging through his mind: he had promised to protect her, and that certainly meant her reputation as well, but at the same time, he could hear Lennith in his mind, and all her warnings about rumors and the like. What exactly was he supposed to do?
"If she were, I'm sure she would have done it while the bulk of us were out chasing that maleficar," Tyan shook his head.
"Hm, maybe you're right. You're were the one guarding her door at night, weren't you Cullen?" Chasan asked.
Slowly, Cullen looked up, his self control fighting tooth and nail to keep himself calm, to bite back the words he really wanted to say. He could hear all the insinuations in Chasan's question, and saw them in the smirk he gave Cullen. How easy it would be to reach out and knock him to the floor. But he wouldn't. Not yet at least. Instead, he replied: "Yes, I was. And I do not apprentice what you are insinuating, Chasan. I, unlike you, it seems, still value my templar oaths." Well that was a lie, pure and simple, but it didn't mean they had to know it. "And were you not the one who was going on a rampage about how unfairly the Grey Warden had been treated? Or perhaps that was all because you had hoped to get on her good side and into her bed? Disgusting."
With that, Cullen stood up and fixed each and every one of the templars at the table with a cold stare. He could feel his stomach churning in disgust at himself as he spoke: "You should all remember that you are templars, that you have taken oaths, and that the Grey Warden is a mage. It is our duty to oppose everything that a mage is, and we are to watch their every move. Mages are not some silly farm girls you bring to bed for a one night stand. That goes for the Grey Warden as well."
He spoke of the definition of a templar, but it certainly wasn't how he felt, not in the least. It physically pained him to speak of Lennith, and perhaps all other mages, in such a way, but he had chosen to pick the middle road: keep the rumors to a minimum, and at the same time, strike a low blow to Chasan and the other young templars who needed a good beating. "Perhaps you should all remember why you took your oaths." With a shake of his head, Cullen turned and left the dining area, not bothering to look back to see what sort of effect his words had on the others.
Wanting nothing more than to return to his room to be alone, Cullen quickly walked towards the stairs. Reaching the templar floor, he thought of shamelessly throwing up once he reached his quarters, but before he could get half way towards his room, Greagoir called out from his office.
"Cullen. A moment, please."
He put his wants on hold and tried to mentally settle his stomach as he stepped into Greagoir's office. "Yes, Knight-Commander?"
Greagoir settled his eyes upon Cullen, and for a few moments, he stared at the younger templar. Cullen could only assume that the Knight-Commander was either trying to figure out how to say what he wanted to say, or, he was trying to get some information out of Cullen. Either way, the look he was receiving was unnerving, but Cullen did his best to ignore it.
"I will get right to the point," Greagoir finally spoke up, sitting down at his desk and lacing his fingers together. He continued to look up at Cullen. "The Grey Warden wishes to leave the Tower. Truthfully, it was a surprise when she returned, but she has explained that her reasons for leaving are for Grey Warden business. I can only assume that that is why she even returned to the Tower. Nonetheless, she has requested your company on this.. journey of hers, and I have granted it."
All thoughts of Chasan and the other templars left his mind, and it was quite hard to hide his happiness. He was finally leaving the Tower, and with Lennith. Pulling his feelings close, he asked: "May I ask why, Knight-Commander?" Because, certainly, if he hadn't, it would seem strange.
Greagoir sighed and shook his head. "The Grey Warden continues to surprise me. Honestly, despite the fact that she is a mage, I admire her. She is young, but shows wisdom beyond her years." Again, he shook his head. "I digress... She has expressed concern for traveling alone, and not because of normal fears, but because she admitted that she was worried about the possibility of turning into an abomination."
Cullen was absolutely astounded that Greagoir, of all people, would admit such a thing about a mage. He could understand it, because who didn't admire the Grey Warden? But still, it came as a surprise, and Cullen knew he would never tell another person of the Knight-Commander's confession, for certainly, Greagoir trusted him enough to know he wouldn't. Cullen was only further surprised by Greagoir's explanation. Lennith afraid of becoming an abomination? Certainly that couldn't be true. No, he didn't believe it, and he could only assume she had used such a lie to have her way. He could pretty much imagine the pain she must have gone through to actually speak the words. Cullen's thoughts were soon interrupted by Greagoir.
"At first, I had suggested that I assign one of the older templars to accompany her, but she has told me that it appears many of the templars admire her too greatly that should the worst occur, they might not be able to complete their templar duties." Greagoir paused and sighed. "She also said that she believes you are the only templar who wouldn't.. pause if.. the time came."
And there was the look, the one that Greagoir normally reserved for mages and mages alone. Cullen knew that he wanted the truth, and he nodded. "Yes, Knight-Commander. Should the Grey Warden turn into an abomination, I shall not pause to strike her down." Because she is my friend, and she would hate me if I didn't.
With another sigh, Greagoir rubbed his temples and murmured, "I'm getting too old for this.." He stood from his desk and nodded. "Very well. Tomorrow morning, you and the Grey Warden shall leave the Circle Tower. I suggest getting what supplies you need and being ready as soon as possible. Dismissed."
Cullen nodded before leaving Greagoir's office and returning to his room. Despite himself, he smiled and immediately began collecting what few possessions he had. It seemed things were turning out well... and he was happy about it.
Location: Lake Calenhad, Spoiled Princess docks
It had taken Cullen very little time to get his belongings together, and a few hours later, he sought Lennith out to see if there was anything else he needed to pack or get. Bright and early the next morning, the two of them left the Tower Circle with only Greagoir and Irving to see them off. The moment Cullen stepped into the waiting boat, he felt a massive weight lift off of his shoulders, and as the boat moved towards the opposite side of the lake, he looked back towards the Tower and sighed, softly yet happily. Things were going to change for him, he knew that much. What the changes would be, he had no clue, but he knew they would be for the best.
Once reaching the shore, Cullen stepped from the boat. "When you mentioned leaving the Tower, this isn't exactly what I thought you meant," he said, referring to Lennith's quest. He was quite glad that she was including him in her journey to complete her research, but for some reason, he didn't realize she had deemed it a quest. Grabbing hold of their traveling bags, four separate bags and packs that contained their goods, he watched her Mabari jump from the boat, then waited for her, slipping the straps over his shoulder with ease.
"Yes, well," Lennith started before turning to the boatman. "Thank you, Kester. I shall see you when we return."
"Take care of yourself, Grey Warden."
"As I was saying," she turned back to Cullen, her voice dropping slightly. "Weren't you the one who said you wanted to protect me? So if I'm off trying to complete this quest of mine, how would you go about doing that?"
That much was certainly true, and he wasn't exactly complaining, far from it, he was more so... stating the facts and trying to get things straight in his head. The next thing Cullen knew, however, Lennith was tripping over her own two feet and falling out of the boat. He immediately stepped forward, his arms reaching out to grab her and make certain she wouldn't fall.
"See?" she laughed. "If you weren't here, I would have fallen into the water, gotten soaking wet, caught pneumonia and then possibly died. You're good at this."
Cullen sighed deeply; her reasoning was by far the strangest thing he had ever heard. Either way, their journey had barely begun, and already he was "saving her life". How many more times would that happen? "I'm going to regret saying 'yes', aren't I?" Oh, well, he had promised her he'd protect her, and protect her he would.
"Of course not. This will be fun! And it'll be good for you. When was the last time you got out of the Tower?" He had to actually think about it, because it had been so long, but before he could, she spoke up: "Exactly. Trust me."
"I already trust you too much," he grumbled, shaking his head and following her away from the lake.
She had told him that there were a few supplies that she wanted to get from the tavern at the shore, and so without question, he followed her inside and waited a few feet inside the door as she made her way over to the barkeep. He quickly glanced around the establishment, taking notice of the people drinking at various tables and the women serving drinks before his eyes fell upon a man who had gotten up from his seat and was stumbling over to Lennith. Eyes narrowing, Cullen moved from the door, his hand reaching for his sword as he watched the stranger slap Lennith's rear. Cullen was about to reach the man, but paused and watched her promptly spin around and slug the man, sending him flying. Truthfully, Cullen was impressed, and looked down at the fallen man before lifting his gaze back up to Lennith. She simply paid the barkeep, took her items and stormed out of the tavern, absolutely fuming. He couldn't blame her.
When they were a short distance from the inn, Lennith's Mabari once more following them, Cullen grinned before commenting: "I'm beginning to think I was brought along to protect everyone else from you, not the other way around." From what he could see, Lennith could certainly take care of herself.
Once mending her hand, she abruptly turned around, her eyes narrowed at him. "Yes, well, I don't exactly care for random strangers slapping my ass," she muttered. "I don't think I'd mind it too much if you did it though."
The comment came out of no where, and Cullen stopped in his tracks, nearly falling over, face first, into the ground. He could feel his cheeks, neck and ears turn a bright red as he imagined, for a split second, doing just that. Well, how could he not when she said such a thing so easily? Clearing his throat, he adjusted the bags at his shoulder and quickly caught up to her and the Mabari. He quickly changed the subject: "S-so, where are we heading first?"
Damned stutter....
"Redcliff first," she replied as though nothing had just happened. "It's a good place to restock, the inn is nice, and the Arl has a small library. I may not find anything of interest in any of his books, but then again, I might be lucky."
He nodded before asking: "How is your research going?" Reaching over, he took hold of the supplies that Lennith bought at the inn and added them to one of the many traveling packs he was holding at his shoulder. He hadn't even given it a second thought, really; there was no reason for her to carry anything, and it wasn't as though the packs at his shoulder were a burden. Besides, isn't that something men did?
"It's progressing, slowly, but I wasn't exactly expecting to figure anything out immediately." She peered up at him. "You know, I can carry a few things."
Cullen just shrugged, not bothering to reply. He was perfectly fine with carrying everything. For a few moments, the small party walked in silence, until the Mabari broke it with a bark.
"I was thinking of something nice, you know. What do you want?" Lennith muttered to the dog. "Oh, alright," she shook her head, reaching into one of the bags on Cullen's shoulder. She took hold of a bone before pulling it out and throwing it as far into the distance as her strength would allow her. With a bark, her Mabari took off after it.
Immediately, he was curious. "What were you thinking about?" Cullen glanced down at her.
"Mm, you don't want to know."
"You said it was something nice, why wouldn't I?"
She shook her head, "I'll tell you later."
That... was not exactly what he had expected. She had never evaded his questions like that before. Cullen frowned, but shrugged. "If you wish." There was no point in pushing the matter, although for quite some time, as they continued on their way, it kept bothering him. He really wanted to know what she had been thinking of... It must have been something good, why else would she have been grinning like that? Perhaps he would ask her again in a day or so.
When night fell, Lennith quickly found a spot for them to camp, one she said she had used during her travels over a year ago. The area was fairly empty and there was a stream nearby. There weren't, however, any indications that anyone had camped there recently. Either way, the spot seemed well suited for their purpose, and once placing the traveling packs down on the ground, Cullen began rummaging through them. He quickly got a fire going, pulled their bedrolls out and gathered some food for their dinner.
"You know, you don't have to take care of everything, I can help."
Looking up to find her watching him, Cullen shrugged. "It's fine. Moving around and actually doing something is much better than standing around in an empty hallway, waiting for something to happen." And it was the truth. He liked having his hands busy, liked actually doing something. Truthfully, if he could have gotten away with it, at some point, Cullen would have probably helped the cooks back at the Tower kitchen, or possibly even help the apprentices clean things up, just for something to do. But, it would have looked suspicious, and people had already been looking at him strangely ever since the Uldred problem.
"Hm, I suppose that's true, but I feel bad for sitting here while you take care of everything, so!" she snagged the cooking pot he had just retrieved from their bags. "I can at least get some water." He watched her grin, then disappear to fill the pot with water. Within a few moments, she was back and had it hung on the metal hooks he had set up. "Where did you learn to start a fire?"
While cutting a carrot between his hands, he replied: "Templars are taught some survival skills during training. It's assumed that every templar would be out in the wilds, at least once, tracking down a maleficar or apostate, so we were all taught how to survive on our own." Those lessons were the ones that Cullen had loved the most; learning to get along with the things around him. He could light a fire, pick out non-poisonous berries, track various animals. It wasn't exactly much, and he was pretty certain most people could do the same, but he had loved learning it all, nonetheless.
"I hope you're not upset at me for pulling you out of the Tower like I did," Lennith spoke up after a while.
Once adding the last ingredient to the soup, Cullen shook his head and sat down on his bedroll. "No. It's been too long since I've gotten out of the Tower. It's.. nice. I've missed seeing the sky at night, out in the open." And it's even nicer that I can act like myself and not like a templar around you. Whether or not they had been alone at night while still at the Tower, Cullen had still acted as he had been taught to, even if every so often he stepped out of the bounds of the Chantry and his teachings.
"You're a bit of a romantic, aren't you?"
"I guess," he shrugged, bringing his gaze away from the stars and leveling it on her. "You must be as well. Why else would you have saved Ferelden, unless you always believed you could?"
"You could say that. It just seemed like the right thing to do at the time. And it was, obviously, it was just.. It was so hard.. Being flung into the role of leader barely days after my Harrowing.. after being betrayed by my best friend.. I know everyone saw me as a strong and confident mage, and I was, to a degree, but when you're suddenly leading people in a fight against the Blight, when you have... no real idea of what you're doing or what's going to happen, when you have no one to talk to because you're the one listening to everyone else and helping everyone else... It wasn't easy, and I'm glad it's over."
"But part of your misses it," he replied, watching her. While she may not miss everything about it, he could tell she missed some of it.
Lennith chuckled. "Yes. I miss this, the camping out at night around a fire with my friends, the journeys. It's nice, at least, this part is."
They ate in silence once the food was done, and when they were finished, Cullen stood up from his spot by the fire and walked a few yards away. His plan was to stand watch for the bulk of the night, something he was certainly used to doing at the Tower. Well, it wasn't really a plan, it was just something he knew he should do once he was finished eating.
"You're not standing watch, are you?" she called out.
"That was my intention," he turned back to look at her.
Shaking her head again, she got up and joined him. "Don't. The plus about being a mage and having done all this before: I can set wards around the camp, and the moment anything gets close, I'll be alerted." Immediately, he wanted to protest. Apparently, she could tell, because she continued: "I know you and magic aren't the best of friends, but, look at it this way: you stand guard part of the night, I take the second part, neither of us gets much sleep, and the next morning, when we need our strength, we're both exhausted. I for one would rather not be ambushed and too tired to defend myself."
She was completely right, that was true, but the idea of magic wasn't exactly what he wanted to protest. He viewed himself as her bodyguard, and standing watch at night, making sure nothing came and hurt her, well, that was his duty. But seeing that she wouldn't take no for an answer, Cullen nodded. "Alright." Without another word, he returned to his bedroll. He looked up at her when she returned from setting her wards.
"And, as an extra precaution," she grinned and pointed to her Mabari, "he'll probably notice something before it hits the wards, and we'll have an even more advanced warning. Then again, the times I had camped around here before, aside from darkspawn, there was nothing of notice. And since the bulk of the darkspawn are destroyed..." she trailed off with a shrug.
"Very well," he nodded. After a second, he added: "But if you wake up to a bear eating your face, it's not my fault." Inwardly he laughed, realizing how good it felt to joke around. It felt even better when he heard her laugh, and for a split second, he felt something flutter in his stomach.
"Very well, ser Templar. Make sure you take your armor off, "I know it's impossible to sleep well in it, and if I wake up during the night, I'd like something nice to look at."
His jaw nearly dropped, and the blush from earlier returned. These... jokes, or whatever they were called, were absolutely nothing he had ever heard from her, at least, not pointed towards him, and he wasn't exactly sure how to take them. Either way, if he had responded, he knew he would be stuttering, yet again. For a few moments, he watched her, amazed at how quickly she could fall asleep, and when soft snores came from her direction, he quietly shrugged off his armor and fell asleep in the clothes he wore beneath it.