Disclaimer: All characters and things from ANGEL and BUFFY belong to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy. If they aren't on the show they belong to me.
Summary: Takes place after "Waiting In The Wings". What if Angel and Cordelia hadn't been interrupted, and how would the outcomes of that one event change the lives of the Fang Gang forever? A/C pairing
CHAPTER 10
"It's Angel's?" Buffy continued to stare at Cordelia's pregnant stomach.
Cordelia stood as quickly as she could, one hand on her stomach. She did not need this now. "Yes." She sighed. "It's Angel's."
Buffy shook her head. "How? I mean…he's a vampire and you and him…how?"
"It's a long story." Cordelia said. "And its not important now, what's important is Angel…"
"Wrong." Buffy said coldy. "What's important is how you always try to take everything from me, Cordelia. You always have."
Cordelia was at a loss of words. "Buffy? What are we? In kindergarten?"
Giles had to agree. He could see how Los Angeles had also changed Cordelia, just like he noticed the change in Angel. Cordelia seemed so much older than Buffy right now.
"Angel was mine!" Buffy snapped.
Cordelia shook her head, standing and quickly grabbing Connor out of Lorne's grasp. She said nothing as she started packing his things into his diaper bag as fast as she could using her free hand.
"That's it, run away." Buffy was fuming. "You know I am right."
Cordelia stood, glaring at Buffy through the small amount of tears in her eyes. "Angel left you. Don't forget that."
"And you were just convenient." Buffy shot back. "Don't forget that."
Gunn went to say something, but Wesley stopped him, whispering to all of the Fang Gang and Giles who had found themselves in the corner of the lobby. "Let them do this…Cordelia needs to get some of that anger out."
Giles nodded in agreement with Wesley. "And sometimes Buffy needs to be put in her place."
Gunn, Fred, and Lorne nodded, all remaining quiet in the corner.
"You are not ever going to understand what went on between me and Angel." Cordelia said, knowing that was true because she wasn't even sure if she would really ever understand it. "But trust me, I wasn't convenient."
"You were just like Darla was…a way to stop his pain for a little!" Buffy snapped, and then pointed at Cordelia's still growing belly. "And look! He left you the same thing he left Darla!"
Cordelia hiked Connor up on her hip, as if to protect him. "You leave Connor out of this!"
Connor seemed un-amused by the fight between Cordelia and Buffy until his name was said. He then looked up at Cordelia. "Ma?"
Buffy snorted at that. "Wow, and you already got him to call you "mom"." She motioned to Connor. "What a way to wrap Angel around your finger even more when he gets back."
Cordelia narrowed her eyes at Buffy, speaking surprisingly calmly. "The relationship that Connor and I have is none of your business."
"You took someone's son and made him your own!" Buffy was going around in circles. She really had no reason to be mad at Cordelia.
"Angel left Connor with me!" Cordelia defended herself.
"He didn't tell you to become the kid's mother, did he?" Buffy snapped.
That was enough for Gunn, he had to step in. "Cordelia is the closest thing Connor will ever have to a mother, and no Angel never directly asked Cordelia to be Connor's mother, it just kind of happened. And if you ask me, she is doing a damn good job."
"Well, I didn't ask you!" Buffy snapped before taking off out the door.
Connor seemed to be getting uneasy with all the commotion. He wrapped his arm around Cordelia's neck and pulled himself tightly to her. "Mama…"
"Shh…" Cordelia bounced Connor, slowly easing into the couch with her stomach and him wrapped around her. "It's okay, baby, the crazy lady is gone."
"I apologize for her." Giles sighed. "Buffy just can dramatize sometimes."
"Gee…I've only been saying that for years." Cordelia raised an eyebrow at Giles.
"I'll deal with her." Giles assured the group. "But right now, you all have more important things to do."
"Like find Angel." Fred said.
Giles nodded. "And soon. I don't doubt you are all doing a fine job here but Los Angeles needs him."
"We need him." Cordelia said, running her hands over Connor's back in an effort to sooth the baby.
Giles nodded. "I don't doubt that."
"Well, we should get to work then." Lorne clapped his hands.
Wesley nodded. "Let's go into the office." He turned to Giles. "Giles?"
"One moment." Giles said, nodding toward Cordelia who was too busy looking at Connor and her round stomach to notice.
"Sure." Wesley nodded, understanding Giles wanted to talk to Cordelia. He motioned for Lorne, Fred, and Gunn to follow him into his office.
"Cordelia." Giles said, sitting across from the expectant mother.
Cordelia looked up, realizing only she, Giles, and Connor were left in the room. "Yeah?"
"Angel…he stopped by in Sunnydale after he left here." Giles said cautiously.
"I know." Cordelia nodded simply, continuing to look down at Connor and rub the child's back as he leaned his head against her, sucking his thumb. She smiled at the baby, knowing deep down she was excited to have her own child soon enough, even if Angel was going to be there.
"You know?" Giles was confused. Had Angel been in contact with Cordelia?
Cordelia nodded, looking up at Giles to explain. "When you spoke of Groo…the guy Angel thought was the father of my baby." She placed her hand that she was using to rub Connor's back on her growing belly for emphasis. "Well, first of all, you wouldn't have known of Groo without talking to Angel, and secondly, Angel was the only one who continued to call Groo a good man. I knew you had to have spoken to him."
Giles nodded, Cordelia was a lot smarter then he had ever given her credit for. "Angel doesn't know its his baby…" He motioned to her protruding belly.
Cordelia shook her head, looking back down, and rubbing small circles on her stomach. "No…I didn't have the heart to tell him."
"You will be able to soon enough." Giles stood. "I should be going. I really do apologize for Buffy."
"It's fine." Cordelia sighed. "I'm not worried about her."
Giles nodded, with a smile. "You have really grown into a spectacular woman, Cordelia."
"Thanks Giles." Cordelia said, genuinely.
Giles nodded, making his way out the door.
Once the watcher was gone, Cordelia sighed, looking down at Connor. "Why don't we get out of here, baby? Let Uncle Wes try and find daddy? I don't think I can sit around here anymore, that was all too much for me."
Connor just smiled up at Cordelia.
Cordelia then quickly gathered all of her things as well as Connor's and made her way toward the door. She just wanted to go home and collapse in her bed, and cry. She wanted to cry for Connor, for the new baby, for Angel, and mostly for herself. She had never been one to take pity on herself, but she was just tired, and angry, and wanted Angel back.
Angel sank slowly into the small bed at the inn. His wounds still fresh from his encounter with the vampire earlier. He sighed, rubbing the spot he had gotten hit, his thoughts drifting back to Cordelia and Connor. He knew if Cordelia had been around, she would have patched him up before she let him anywhere near Connor with all the blood.
Angel ran a hand through his hair and gazed out his window at the irish city below. The sun wouldn't be rising anytime soon, but he could not find it in him to sleep through the day. He had no reason to be awake during the sunlight, not anymore, because he had no interaction with humans like he once had. He did not have to keep office hours, or worry about Cordelia or Gunn or Wesley or Fred being too tired to work. Now, he could maintain the hours he was meant to, the others a creature of the night was supposed to have, but yet he still was not ready to start that.
"So this is it…" Angel spoke out loud to himself, wondering how his life had come to this point. A few weeks ago he was content with his son, and was learning to accept the fact that Cordelia might never know he really loved her, now he was a million miles from all the things that mattered to him.
It kind of made sense. He never deserved happiness, not after all he had done, and he knew that. He just didn't understand how he would have ever hurt Connor. He could not imagine it, and that was what frustrated him the most out of all of it. The prophecy spoke it, but Angel never felt it. Not once.
Angel didn't have much more time to brood before there was a knock on his door.
Angel grumbled, climbing out of bed and flicking on the dim light before making his way to the door. He opened it to find a bellboy on the other side.
"What?" Angel asked.
"Well, no need to say hello." The bellboy said sarcastically.
Angel did not reply, just raised an eyebrow at the younger man in front of him. This guy seemed to have a familiar glimmer in his eye, and Angel felt the same odd sense of comfort he had felt with the airport men, and the guy in the alley earlier. Angel found it strange that he kept getting the feeling like he knew all these men he had never met before in his life.
"Anyway, this was dropped off for you." The boy handed Angel a piece of paper. "Rescue the damsels now sir." The bellboy winked before pulling the door closed.
Angel stood there for a moment, taking in the bellboys choice of words before opening the folded piece of paper he had been handed.
"What the hell?" Angel looked at the paper in his hand. It had an address on it, and the handwriting seemed somewhat familiar but Angel couldn't place it. He through the paper on the floor and wanted to go back to bed, but he couldn't find it in him to sleep. After a few minutes he sighed and stood, grabbing his leather jacket and picking up the piece of paper. For some bizarre reason he felt the need to go to the address on the paper.
Holtz sighed, sitting on the bus that was taking him to LAX. He felt somewhat responsible for Cordelia's pain, and Connor's lack of a chance to have a father. He did not feel sorry for Angel, he couldn't. Angelus had taken so much for him and for that, Holtz would never forgive the vampire. However, neither Cordelia nor Connor had done anything directly to Holtz except have a connection to Angel. Holtz now realized he could not penalize them for that.
That's why he was going to the airport. He knew he needed to find Angel and tell him the truth. He needed to know he had not harmed Cordelia or Connor in the long run. He did not want to die with that guilt.
And Holtz knew it was only a matter of time before he did die. He was sure his betrayal of Wolfram and Hart would lead him to an early grave, and he accepted that. He had lived far too long with all the rage and anger he had inside. He was ready to let it go.
He just needed to find Angel. He needed to set it right. Not that he would ever forgive the vampire, that was impossible, but he needed to find his own piece, and he had a feeling he knew where he could find that, and the souled vampire.
Lilah had just gotten the email that had come directly from the Senior Partners, confirming everyone associated with Wolfram and Hart's worst fear. Holtz had told the truth. He had gone to Angel Investigations and told them that the prophecy was a lie, and now they were going to find their champion.
"Great…" Lilah leaned back into her chair, contemplating her next move. She knew they had to eliminate Holtz. He was no longer any use to them, plus she knew the Senior Partner's would want Holtz' head on a chopping block, or they would want hers, and she was not about to give her own head up just yet.
She stood, moving to the window and looking out on the streets of Los Angeles below. "So now, Holtz, we must figure out where you are." She spoke to herself.
Suddenly a smile crept across her face as she realized something. Wolfram and Hart was global, dimensional. Every office, every employee, they knew what Holtz looked like and that he needed to be destroyed. All Lilah had to do was wait for someone to find Holtz and he was as good as dead.
Angel doubled checked the address on the piece of paper in his hand. He then looked up at the small apartment building in front of him. He still could not believe he was about to go up to some random apartment and knock on the door. What was he even going to gain from this?
Angel sighed, crumpling up the paper. This was a stupid idea, he decided as he turned around, ready to make his way back to the inn, when suddenly, he heard a scream from one of the apartments. He quickly busted through the door and up a flight of stairs where he saw a woman's arm hanging out of a door frame. Angel rushed forward to find a werewolf towering over screaming woman.
"Hey ugly." Angel glared at the wolf.
The creature looked at Angel, and decided the vampire looked much more appetizing. It quickly lunged at Angel, but was surprised when Angel was strong enough to launch it down the hall.
Angel quickly bent down next to the woman before the werewolf got back up. "Invite me in."
"What?" The woman was sitting up now.
Angel looked down the hall at the wolf who had stood up now, clearly angry. He turned back to the woman. "Invite me in your apartment. Now!"
"Okay. Okay. Come in." The woman seemed in a daze, her Irish brogue coming out strong, probably from the trauma.
Angel nodded, quickly grabbing her and moving through the doorframe before shutting the door on the approaching werewolf. A second later he felt the wolf trying to push its way through the door.
Angel leaned against the door, looking at the shocked woman who was now standing. "Did it bite you?"
"What?" The woman looked at Angel.
"The wolf. Did it bite you?" Angel repeated his question, knowing the door wouldn't hold much longer.
The woman shook her head and started to cry. "No. He's…it was my boyfriend."
"That thing?" Angel nodded his head to the door behind him.
The woman nodded. "I don't know what happened."
"Werewolf." Angel said simply.
"What?" The woman was shocked.
"Its…he is a werewolf." Angel said.
The woman shook her head. "They aren't real."
"Oh trust me." Angel told her. "They are." He then changed the subject. "Got any silver?"
"What?" The woman was still shocked.
"Silver. You know, a silver pen, maybe a spoon. Something?" Angel asked. "A bullet would be great…"
"I have a cross." The woman nodded to the wall behind Angel.
Angel looked to his left to see a rather large silver, Celtic cross hanging from the ceiling. "Luck of the Irish." He said sarcastically, before ripping the cross down, feeling it burn at his hand, and smelling the stench of his own burning flesh. He quickly opened the door and dove out, attacking the werewolf and sticking the silver cross right through its heart. He then quickly released it and shook his burnt hand, watching the werewolf change back into the shape of a young male.
The woman rushed past Angel, gathering up the body of her boyfriend. "What…he…"
Angel looked down at his burnt hand; he couldn't look the woman in the eye. He had saved her, but he had also taken her love away from her. That was something he knew a little bit about, as his thoughts drifted back to Cordelia.
"I'm sorry." Angel said.
The woman just shook her head, and Angel could tell in all her confusion, she knew he had saved her. He nodded to her, and left her there, making his way back down the stairs and onto the streets of Dublin.
Connor's cries woke Cordelia from her sleep. It had been a little over a week since the incident with Buffy, and Cordelia had still not allowed herself to cry about any of it. She had just kept herself busy with Connor and her pregnancy, trying not to think about how Wolfram and Hart had tricked Angel to leaving her behind.
She made her way down the hall as fast as she could with her growing stomach. She was getting bigger by the day, almost four months now. She couldn't imagine what the next five would bring.
"What's wrong, baby?" Cordelia entered Connor's bedroom, flicking on the light to find the child standing in his crib, holding onto the edge with his little fists.
"Mamamamama!" Connor screamed, bouncing his little knees.
Cordelia now realized Connor had not been crying, instead he was throwing a temper tantrum. She looked over at the clock she kept on his dresser. It was three in the morning. She looked back at the bouncing child. "Connor? What is wrong with you tonight?"
"Up!" Connor reached his arms out for Cordelia to pick him up.
Cordelia, tried and a little confused by Connor, did so, scooping him out of his crib, and taking him out to the living room. "Are you hungry?" She asked him, grabbing a bottle out of the fridge and sitting on the couch with him, trying to get him to drink it. He had been eating solid foods lately, and now she wondered if giving him a bottle before bed was no longer filling him up.
Connor shook his head at the bottle though, pointing at the living room floor, to the shiny red firetruck Gunn had bought him for his birthday.
Cordelia followed Connor's hand to the truck. "You woke up because you wanted to play?" Cordelia was almost in shock.
"Play! Play!" Connor giggled.
"No." Cordelia said quickly, her tone causing Connor to stop giggling.
Connor looked back up at her, a serious look on his face now. "Ma?"
Cordelia shook her head, she couldn't control the tears any longer, and they began rushing down her cheeks. "I can't do this Connor." She sobbed.
"No." Connor grabbed her cheeks, trying to wipe up her tears, which only made Cordelia cry more.
She felt like she deserved the cry. There she was, sitting there, raising the child of the man she loved and another woman, and pregnant with his second "miracle baby" and he had no idea because someone had decided to take him away from all he loved.
"I'm sorry, sweetie." Cordelia looked at Connor too see he was upset that she was crying. "Mommy is just so tired."
"Nap?" Connor seemed to suggest, although his vocabulary was still very limited.
Cordelia laughed through her tears at Connor's attempt. "I'm not sure a nap can fix this." Her tears were less frequent now. "Mommy just misses Daddy."
Connor looked up at Cordelia with a funny face. Did he know a Daddy?
Cordelia realized now that she had broken a promise to Angel. Because she had missed him so much and tried to keep her mind off of the vampire, she had neglected to tell Connor about him, something she had swore she would do. She leaned across the couch as best as she could with her belly and Connor, who was now standing on the couch next to her, holding onto her shoulder. She then picked up a picture off the coffee table of her, Angel, and baby Connor, at her birthday, right before she had slammed into the glass cabinet and been forced to become part demon.
"This is Daddy." Cordelia pointed to Angel in the picture and looked at Connor.
Connor seemed to study Angel for a minute, realizing that maybe he did remember the man with the funny hair. "Ma." He pointed to Cordelia in the picture.
Cordelia smiled. "That's me." She pointed to the blue bundle she was holding. "And that's you." And then she pointed to Angel. "And that's Daddy."
Connor looked at Cordelia, then back at the picture, then pointed to Angel. "Da-da?"
Cordelia smiled at Connor, shaking her head as the tears formed in her eyes again. "That's right. That's Daddy."
"Where go?" Connor seemed to ask.
Cordelia interpreted the child's bad English as "Where did he go".
"Daddy had to go away for a little." Cordelia explained. "But he will be back, and he loves you very much."
Connor seemed satisfied with this answer as he leaned his head against Cordelia's shoulder.
"You tired, baby?" Cordelia asked him.
Connor yawned and Cordelia took that as a yes. She picked him up and carried him back into her bedroom, laying him down with her. For some reason, she didn't want to spend the rest of that night alone in her big bed with only her enlarging belly to remind her of Angel. She wanted to see Angel, and she could, through every expression Connor on his face, even the one's the child had while sleeping.
Angel was about to go back to the inn when he realized something. Every single time he ended up helping someone, a guy had showed him the way, and every single time he felt lost, a guy had seemed to comfort him. Sure, it had been a different guy every time, but they all had the same glimmer in their eye, they all seemed the same to Angel.
And, as if on cue, the bellboy from earlier was making his way down the street toward Angel.
"Hey, stop." Angel told the bellboy, moving to catch up to the younger gentlemen.
"So you figured it out?" The bellboy asked, nonchalantly.
"You keep sending me to save people." Angel said, then backtracked. "Well not specifically you, but guys like you."
The bellboy nodded, continuing to walk. "You sure they weren't all me?"
"What?" Angel was confused. "No. I mean…"
The bellboy stopped, looking Angel in the eye. "You haven't changed a bit."
Angel raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"
"Come on champ." The bellboy smiled. "You really forget my gorgeous face?"
Angel still seemed confused, not answering the boy.
"Fine." The bellboy began to walk. "If you can't figure it out, you're not ready to know."
Before Angel could say anything, the bellboy seemed to almost dissolve into the fog of the night.