Chapter nine

In New York,

Josh slapped the table in aggravation. He hadn't found a single blasted letter. Her friends hadn't received a single letter from her and he had the post office watching for any letters from her. It didn't take much to bribe a courier and they'd gladly pay.

He had to find her. As near as he could guess, she was probably two months pregnant by now. He smiled as he remembered when he'd first seen her at a party. She hadn't acted haughty to him, until he'd touched her hand. Then, she was upset and avoided him like dirt for the evening. She was a fake, like all of the high society 'ladies' but she was the worst. Acting as if everyone was equal, then snubbing him. He remembered following her, waiting for days, for the right moment to make her pay for that.

And he'd made her pay. It had been a pleasure and he wanted to make her pay for it again.

In aggravation, he threw a wooden jewelry box at the wall! The box let out a protesting crack, testifying that he'd broken it. He picked it up to see letters fall out of the hollow bottom! He tore one open and found what he was looking for at last.

The name of the ranch was the Ponderosa.

Back on the Ponderosa,

Adam knocked on the door. "Come in Adam." Regina said.

He pushed the door open to see her tying her hair back. "How'd you know it was me?"

She rolled her eyes. "I know that knock anywhere." He walked over to stand by the dresser. He studied her face, her eyes were red and he guessed that she hadn't slept last night.

He decided not to push the issue and focused on her long mane of hair. He leaned forward and brushed a strand of hair that she had missed back behind her ear. For some odd reason, this morning, she flinched at his touch.

He'd had enough of it. He was tired of her pushing him away because of some demons in the back of her mind. "Why are you afraid of me?"

Her hand trembled. "I'm not."

"You act like it. In fact, you act all the time." His voice grew firmer. "You act like you're content, but you have the ghosts of the past chasing behind you, nipping at your heels."

"How dare you talk to me like that!" She shouted at him. "Who do you think you are? You're not my husband or my father, you're not the boss of me!"

"No I'm not," she jumped up at he stared her down. "but I care about you. You can't keep walking around with that lock over your heart, shutting off all kinds of emotions. Today…we're breaking that lock open. You're going to tell me everything."

"Oh no I'm not!" She spun around and bolted for the door.

"Go ahead! Regina," he gripped her shoulders and spun her around. She let out a small squeak. "Regina, you can't keep on running! What ever it is you're hiding from me must be faced and now!"

"I can't!" She cried as she fought against him. "Please, Adam, let me go!"

"No." He said firmly. "No I'm not. I'm not letting you run away from me any more. Regina, tell me now, tell me now!"

"Adam!"

"Tell me!"

Regina stopped arguing and words began gushing from her like a geyser.

Three months and several odd days ago,

She shouldn't have gone walking alone, but she needed to walk. It was a good night and she was upset. She'd turned down Luis Hughes for the second time tonight. She walked around a corner, passed a waiting carriage, something struck her on the head and she remembered nothing.

She'd woken up to see that she was tied up, unclothed in a dark, smelly, filthy and dimly lit basement. He'd locked the door to the basement and came in with a mask on his face. He didn't speak to her as she pleaded, cried, sobbed, begged and promised him riches if he left her virginity intact. But he wouldn't hear of it. Her screams were pleasing to his ear as he untied her hands and threw her on the ground.

She barely remembered anything after he violently tore into her; her screams echoed in the basement. He laughed as he feasted on her pain like a vulture feasted on carrion. She could barely breathe when he finished with her. That night as he took her any way he could think of before he collapsed exhausted with her body underneath his.

She remembered waiting before rolling him off her abused body. Her clothes were in a pile nearby. She shakily dressed, forcing herself to keep her sobs under control. She went to the door and tested the lock. She cried in shocked relief when it swung open! Like the angel led Paul from prison, she was granted an escape from her prison. She remembered hurrying her way through the streets avoiding eye contact with everyone. She made it up to her room, alone, broken and ashamed. Her parents…she couldn't tell them about this. They couldn't understand. What if she never got pregnant? They'd never know. At that moment she decided to wait the days out to see what the dark, twisted road of her life had paved out for her.

An hour later,

Regina clutched to Adam desperately as she cried her heart out. Adam held her tightly as she cried her heart out. His grip was tight on her waist; his hand supported her head as he pulled her tighter into him. "And now you can forget it." His voice was deep, comforting and authoritative.

Regina shook her head but words couldn't form. She couldn't really forget it, but she would have to let go of it. Regina felt Adam's lips on her eyebrow. She pulled back and looked up at him. he smiled at her as he thumbed away her tears.

"Thank…you." she croaked.

"Anytime." He said as he stood up and hugged her. "I'm here for Regina. Whenever you need me."

She couldn't see his face, but there was something in his voice that made her tremble. The romantic side of her was screaming, "He just made a declaration!" But the other side her, though lighter was still somber and it was saying, "Are you kidding? A handsome guy like this would never give you a second glance!"

A clearing throat caused them to turn and they saw Hoss standing there, nervously twisting his hat. "Adam, er um, Pa said that…we're ready now if'n you two are…planning on going."

Regina sniffled and smoothed her hair. "I look terrible."

Adam caught her hands and she looked up at him. "You look fine Regina. Granted, your eyes are a little swollen, but other than that, you're fine."

Regina nodded. "I'll be down in a minute."

As he walked away, her heart told her. He cares for you, you can see that. And you care for him, but, don't be counting on anything. You're not writing the story of your life, so set the pen down and focus on the here and now.

Adam closed her door and walked down the stairs with Hoss right behind him. "Adam…she all right?"

He nodded. "She will be."

"What happened?'

"We talked….about what happened." His blood boiled and he punched his palm. "I'd love to find that guy and mess him up so bad a Comanche would get sick!"

"Strong words Adam."

"I'm fed up!" he said. "And then her parents!"

"Adam, calm down." Hoss said. "This ain't helping things any."

He exhaled and nodded. "You're right. I assume we're taking the buckboard, right?"

"Right. Joe's driving it."

"That's what he thinks."

"Now Pa thinks the two of you uhm, need space."

"He what!"

"That's right." Pa said on cue as he exited the barn. Hoss immediately moved outside to give them some privacy. "Joe will be driving her and I will hear no arguments."

Adam scowled. "How come?"

"Because she needs to intermingle with everyone else, not just you." He said firmly. "I don't want her to rely on only you."

"Pa-"

"If you want her to love you, make sure she loves you for you. not the fact that you're always there to protect her. Adam, be patient. Give it time, if it's meant to be, it'll work out. Give it time Adam. Give it time."

Adam exhaled. "Alright. But don't make this a habit of separating us."

"However, if you get to hold her in your arms forever…isn't it worth it?"