A/N: Well, I decided to finish this. Though only 3 people reviewed chapter 9. Pretty sad. Had no idea if anyone actually liked it. And yes, this is the last chapter.
Chapter Ten
In the end, Luffy had only been able to convince the rest of the crew to keep Nami with them for six weeks.
"It took six weeks for her to get like this," he'd argued.
"She's been brainwashed, Luffy," Robin reminded him. "It is not something that can be bandaged and heal in a couple days."
"I know," Luffy nodded. "That's why she needs to stay with us. The longer she's with us, the better she'll get."
"Six weeks," Chopper interjected. The crew all turned to look at him. "In a way, Luffy is right. It took six weeks for her to become like this. In six weeks time, we should know if she's ever going to recover."
"It's decided then," Sanji said. "In six weeks, if she's not improving, we will take Nami back to Cocoyashi Village."
"It's not decided!" Luffy yelled, startling them all. "We won't give up on her. If it was any one of you, she wouldn't give up on you."
"Luffy," Zoro began quietly, "you wanted Nami to come with us because she's the best navigator in the world, right?"
Luffy's nostrils were puffing loudly with air but he didn't answer.
"Right now, she won't even look at a log pose, let alone give us a course heading," he continued. "Without her, we won't survive here. And I doubt any of us would even consider replacing her."
As Zoro let Luffy digest those words, the rest of the crew nodded their heads in agreement.
"So it's safe to say that if she doesn't recover and we have to take her home," Zoro finished, "that it will be the end of the journey."
"Sadly, I do agree with snot-head," Sanji said as a vein popped in Zoro's forehead. "Without all of my nakama to share my dream with, it just doesn't seem that important anymore."
Finally, Luffy understood what his crew meant. They were not abandoning their nakama. They were refusing to go on without her. That, he realized, he could live with too.
.o0o.
In the next four weeks, Luffy spent almost every waking moment with Nami. In the mornings, he'd collect her from Robin and take her around the ship, telling her about all the things he and the crew had done, or a minute story about how she had clobbered them all because they'd done something ridiculous. Nami remained silent at his side, never making any indication she'd heard him at all.
At lunch, he'd sit across from her and steal food off everyone else's plates but hers, since she barely ate her own food and he didn't want to take away anything she might eat. Afternoons would be spent on the grassy deck, describing the odd games he, Chopper and Ussop participated in. She'd always stare off towards the ground and hide her eyes.
After dinner, he'd sit her by the mikan trees, which were beginning to wilt. The crew was trying their best to keep the trees alive, but after nearly three months without care from Nami, they seemed to be giving up.
"Please say something," he begged one night. She was sitting at the base of the trees as he lay on his stomach facing her. "Anything."
She was silent.
"I don't care what it is," Luffy promised. "Just say something."
The wind blew her bangs in her eyes again.
"Even if you say you want to go home," he whined quietly, sitting up. It was the last thing he wanted to hear, but as long as he heard it, he'd accept it.
He tried to brush the hair out of her eyes and she flinched. This upset him more than anything.
"Damn it," he muttered, standing and walking away. His temper was flaring and he didn't want to show her that, since it was apparent that she was already afraid of him. He stood at the railing and looked back at her, feeling failure creep into him.
How could he fail at this? He was supposed to save his nakama from this and there she was, sitting a few feet away from him, but he couldn't save her. He could touch her hand but in all other sense of the word, he couldn't reach her. The battle was taking place within her and he could not participate.
He walked back over to her. The wind continued to blow her hair about her face, but she paid it no mind. A cold rain began to pelt down onto them, and Luffy reached for her hand to take her below. She followed with little goading, always staring at the ground.
"Looks like it's going to be another rough night," Franky predicted, collecting rope to tie down things out on the deck.
"I think we're sailing in circles and keep hitting the same storm," Ussop ventured, helping the shipwright. Luffy walked Nami to the galley, where Robin would be.
Robin could tell that her captain was stressed. The days were taking their toll on everyone, especially since they'd seen little to no improvement whatsoever. Still, it had taken six weeks to find her. If they'd given up on finding her after only four, they'd have never found her. That was the thought that carried them on.
Robin finished her tea and led Nami to the bathroom. Robin had hoped that by talking to Nami and showing her that she wouldn't be harmed in any way if she spoke would have helped. It had almost an opposite effect, though. The first days when Robin talked to her, Nami had cringed and looked about in fear, as though afraid to be caught. Robin tried talking to her in front of Sanji, but it had been worse. She'd hidden in the corner in terror.
But Robin didn't give up. After three weeks, the miniscule improvement of Nami not being fearful when Robin spoke had been achieved.
"Shall we use the lavender soap tonight?" she asked. It was on the off chance that Nami gave her a nod or shake of the head. "I recall that lavender helps one to sleep peacefully."
Nightmares had been a problem, too. Nami would wake up in the middle of the night in a panic, searching about the room for something or trying to hide in fear. Neither of them had gotten a good night's sleep in the last month.
The spacious bathroom had a soaking tub that was large enough to fit their entire crew, but much to the dismay of certain crew members, the ladies preferred the room to themselves when they bathed. Robin poured the lavender salts into the tub as it filled with warm water, then pinned her hair up on top of her head.
She stripped her own clothes off before setting about doing the same with Nami. She could have ordered Nami to do it herself, but Robin felt like that would be a step backwards, and opted for trying to negotiate the navigator out of her clothes.
"You don't want to take a bath in your clothes, do you?" she asked. It was always some variation of this. So far, the only thing Nami had managed to do on her own was take off her shoes, and Robin suspected it was because the shoe mat was next to the bathroom door.
Nami always had to be led where they wanted her to go. It was rare that she would take any initiative to do something on her own at all. Robin took her hand and led her into the warm tub. She sat opposite of Nami in the tub, relaxing in the warm water as Nami did the opposite.
She'd always sit ramrod straight. She'd watch the water as it lulled back and forth in the tub from the waves of their ship, some nights more tumultuous than others, depending on the storm.
"I miss the nights of a calm sea," Robin mused. "We have had very few in the last four weeks."
Truth, they'd had none.
"Perhaps, if there was an island nearby…"
Robin left the statement open ended. She watched carefully for any movement that would indicate that Nami felt the slightest stabilization in pressure. Nothing.
Robin picked up a wash cloth and began rubbing it across her skin. Though she didn't want to give up, it was wearisome sometimes to try to get Nami to remember how things had been before. How she'd been before. She couldn't even imagine the depression her captain must have been suffering with each passing day. And yet every day, he continued trying.
"Come," Robin said suddenly, shaking herself out of the momentary lapse of self pity. "Let me wash your back."
Nami's only movement was to turn so Robin could reach her back. It wasn't much, but at least Robin didn't have to do it for her. Nami's back was still a pink, patchy mess of scabs and scars. The heathens on the island had beaten her and accosted her on top of the wounds that were already there, making it difficult to heal. Likely, these scars would be there for life.
"You once told me that scars were proof that if you live through something, things will get better," Robin mentioned, gently soaking her back. She thought she caught Nami giving her a curious look out of the corner of her eye. "Please don't give up on that ideal. Because we haven't given up on you."
.o0o.
Every day, the boy with the scar on his cheek talked to her. She knew he was talking to her, but she couldn't hear him. It was as if her ears were clogged. He would walk her around the ship and speak to her all day and all night, but she couldn't hear him.
Today was an exception.
After lunch, he had left her on the deck by the lawn chairs by herself and went to sit at the front of the ship. She couldn't help but think it was because she'd done something wrong, but she didn't know what it could be. She'd been quiet, she'd kept her head down, and she'd followed behind him wherever he'd taken her. She'd made herself small as to be unseen and ate only enough to keep her stomach quiet. Those were the things she was supposed to do.
Left to herself, her eyes wandered cautiously across the deck. There was very little movement around it, save for one thing. The man with the swords practiced on the deck across from her. Every day he could be seen out on the deck practicing different moves with his swords.
But today, instead of stopping after finishing the usual moves he practiced, he'd started over again. She watched out of the corner of her eye with her head lowered as his skin became wet with sweat and the sound of his breathing became louder.
It shocked her that she could hear it.
Curious, she watched him a little more closely, raising her head slightly. Too closely. He noticed. He waved her over with one sworded hand. Terrified that she would be reprimanded, she dropped her head down and stayed where she was. It didn't work. The man came over and pulled her to stand.
He was talking to her. His voice was muffled, as the boy with the scar's had been. But he seemed insistent that she comply. He placed one of his swords in her hand and held her fingers around it.
It was slightly heavy. The worn handle scratched against her palm. It reminded her of something.
Her eyes went to the far railing. She walked to it and looked over. New wood mixed with older wood dotted the hull there.
The man was next to her again.
"Do you remember falling?"
The words were so shockingly clear that she started and dropped the sword. It clattered on the deck loudly and she panicked, reaching down to grab Sandai Kitetsu.
That was its name. Sandai Kitetsu. It belonged to Zoro. That was the man who was in front of her. She looked into his eyes and remembered him.
He reached his hand out towards her and she flinched, dropping her head in fear. She shouldn't have looked him in the eyes! It was wrong! She was going to be punished!
The man named Zoro was speaking to her again, but she could no longer hear what he said. She huddled in a ball next to the railing until the boy with the scar came to retrieve her.
.o0o.
"Who has her Clima Tact?"
The quiet dinner became even quieter when the crew regarded Zoro's question.
"I do," Ussop finally answer. "Why?"
"I think we should give it to her," he answered, jutting his chin at Nami.
"So she can accidentally call a typhoon to destroy the ship?" Sanji countered. "I doubt that is a good idea."
"If she does call a typhoon, you should thank your lucky fuckin' stars she remembers how to do it," Zoro snapped back. "It's better than her standing around all day like an empty shell."
Sanji bit down sharply on his cigarette. "And what makes you the expert so suddenly?"
"I'm just saying that nothing we've done has been working," Zoro corrected. "We need to try something new. Something stronger."
"And what if we damage her instead?" Sanji asked. The crew seemed content with the idea of letting the two argue it out and simply looked back and forth between them.
"You think she can get any more damaged?" Zoro put forth, pointing at her, ignoring the fact that she flinched. "I don't think it's possible to make it worse."
Sanji had no answer for that.
"What's the worst that can happen?" Zoro asked. "She doesn't get better? She's not getting better right now. What have we got to lose?"
"Let's do it," Luffy decided. He stood from the table and ushered Nami out of the galley. He took her to the grassy deck and waited for Ussop to retrieve the Clima Tact. Nami wouldn't even let them come near her with it as they crowded around her, and she huddled on the ground in a ball.
"See, shit head?" Sanji spat. "She's freaking out."
"Listen, dart brow," Zoro growled, "it's a work in progress. And I don't see you attempting to do any better."
"Maybe because I know she's been through enough trauma, snot hair," Sanji argued. "And that forcing her to do things she doesn't want to do isn't going to make it better."
Seeing as Nami wouldn't touch the Clima Tact and Sanji and Zoro were going at it, the rest of the crew gradually began to disperse. Robin retired to her lawn chair, while Chopper followed Ussop to the upper deck. Brooke went in search of his violin and Franky went to inspect the repairs on the main mast.
"Forcing her might be the only way," Zoro disagreed. "Your passive, pansy ass shit hasn't gotten anywhere in the last four weeks."
As Luffy watched the quarreling idiots, Nami's gaze wandered the floor of the deck until it fell on the feet of Franky.
.o0o.
The man with the iron fists looked tired. Whenever she saw him, he was either at a meal with them or fixing the ship. Right now, he was looking at the large column of wood in the center of the ship. Like the hull had before, it also had patches of new and old wood adorning it. Timidly, Nami stood and walked over to it.
This had saved her, she realized as she ran her hand over the new section of wood. It was the main mast. The main mast of Thousand Sunny. Thousand Sunny was the name of the ship that they sailed on. It was built by Franky. Franky was the man with the iron fists.
The information was coming at her in a wild rush. While she tried to make sense of it, the sounds of scuffling grew clear to her ears.
"Say it again, you son of a bitch!"
"I said you like her like this, don't you?"
"Bastard! Fucking dirty bastard!"
"You like it when she's helpless so you can take care of her!"
"Take it back you rotten piece of shit!"
Zoro and the cigarette man were going back and forth across the deck in a dance of kicks and swords. The name of the cigarette man came to her from nowhere: Sanji. He was the ship's pervert. He cooked well, too. The kicking of his feet against Zoro's swords was bringing her long gone feelings.
This was normal. This was right. They would fight and they would be loud, and eventually, it would stop. Recalling how it usually stopped, Nami walked towards the two who fought, unmindful of her growing closeness in proximity.
.o0o.
"I'll kill you, you ass-licking, scrotum smelling, bottom feeder!"
"What did you say, you perverted, over-acting, closet homosexual?"
Bam!
Both men dropped to the grass and clutched their heads. They looked up in contempt that turned into wonder to see Nami standing over them with balled fists and a smile on her face.
She laughed.
It was brief and her own hands came up to cover her mouth in sudden fear, but it was too late. Luffy came bounding over with a huge smile on his face.
"That was awesome!" he cried, lifting her up in the air and swinging her in circles. "That was so great!"
The others were coming to join him, but Nami was regressing back to her fearful self.
"And she's gone again," Sanji muttered in frustration.
"It worked, though," Zoro pointed out, wiping away some blood on his cheek.
"Your solution did not work," Sanji disagreed. "I believe that is what started this little scuffle."
"How do you know the 'scuffle' wasn't part of the plan?" Zoro countered. Sanji stared at him, unfazed. "Okay, it wasn't. But it worked."
"Determining exactly what 'it' is would be important," Robin observed.
"It's us," Chopper spoke up. Everyone turned to the little reindeer.
"What's us?" Ussop asked.
"Us," Chopper repeated, excitedly. "We're what stopping her from remembering how she used to be."
Everyone looked confused.
"When's the last time they fought like that?" Chopper asked, trying a different approach. "Or the last time we spent the evening drinking?"
"It is us," Robin agreed. "We haven't been the same either. Just like Nami, we have been affected by her absence in a way that we don't realize."
"So what should we do?" Brooke asked.
"Be us," Chopper answered.
"You want us to bring out a barrel of ale?" Ussop asked, unconvinced.
"We have lost our exuberance," Robin deduced. "Our taste for the adventurous life. Nami will not remember the way she used to be if we are not the way we used to be."
"The whole crew's suffered a break down, not just Nami," Franky realized. Robin nodded in agreement. The others caught on slowly, a look of recognition passing through each of them.
"We'll start tomorrow," Sanji suggested. "Robin-chan, will you please take Nami through her normal morning routine?"
"Of course," Robin agreed. They dispersed, letting Robin take over care of the invalid. Nami timidly followed Robin away and down into the lower decks of the ship.
.o0o.
Day One
"Good morning, Nami-san."
Robin watched as Nami sat up groggily in her bed, the dark circles under her eyes a tribute to how much sleep was gotten from the previous night.
"I do believe the weather will be quite nice today," Robin predicted, walking over to her closet. She rifled through some items before pulling out a sleeveless sundress and a large hat. "Shall we spend our morning soaking up the sun?"
Expectedly, Nami didn't answer. Robin walked over to stand next to her bed, holding the sundress against herself.
"What do you think?" she asked. Nami's eyes remained trained on the floor. "Or perhaps I should keep things simple with shorts and a tank top. What will you wear today?"
Again, no answer. If Nami even chose to change her clothes at all, it would be a first. She'd been content to wear the tattered clothes on her back when they'd first left the ring maze, and finally Robin had taken it as an opportunity to get her into new clothes after their evening bath.
"You have yet to wear the new dress you purchased back on Kuroki Island," Robin put forth. "Today may be an excellent day to christen it."
Silently, Nami rose from her bed and went to her wardrobe. She pulled the orange and yellow dress from its hanger and then pulled off her night gown. Robin smiled triumphantly. She hadn't ordered Nami to change her clothes. She'd only suggested it. It was a step in the right direction.
Day Two
At breakfast, Sanji put a slice of rye toast and mikan jelly in front of Nami, followed by a cup of tea. He knew how she preferred her tea and could have easily put the milk and sugar in it for her, but recalled that she sometimes chided him for adding too much for her tastes. With that in mind, he simply set the milk and sugar within reach and went on serving the others their breakfasts.
"Steak?" Luffy asked, mouth full of eggs and bacon that sputtered out at his question.
"Eat what you have, piggy face," Sanji ordered, smacking him in the face with a napkin. "Such manners are intolerable."
"More oatmeal please!" Chopper called, standing on his chair and holding up his empty bowl.
"Alas, I cannot enjoy such pleasures as steak and oatmeal," Brooke lamented sadly. "Due to my old age, they just go right through me."
If eyes rolling could be heard, it would have been the only sound in the room.
"Skull joke!"
Several groans piped up around the room.
"Oi, oi," Ussop complained. "You're over ninety years old. Learn some new jokes."
"Hey!" Franky cried. "Who stole my bacon?"
"Like you need to ask," Zoro muttered. "Eat faster."
"Oi! Gomu no piggy! Leave their food alone!" Sanji bellowed from the kitchen.
Amongst the chaos, Nami sipped her tea comfortably.
Day Three
"Steak?" Luffy asked, looking up at Sanji with a mouth full of pancakes.
"No, rubber lard-ass," Sanji spat. "You eat everyone else's food off their plates and expect me to give you more? I should let you starve."
"Stingy," Luffy muttered sorrowfully, while eyeing Robin's bagel. It disappeared behind a wall of hands that Robin erected. He groaned as he scoped the table for other snatchable food. His eyes fell on Nami's toast. Despite what the crew had said about being themselves, he couldn't bring himself to steal it from her. Too many things had been taken from her lately and he didn't want to add to them.
Day Four
"And so I, brave Ussop, one arm broken and the other dislocated, trekked bravely across the expanse of the mountain," Ussop lied, waving his arms to accentuate the grandness of his tale. "I would not be stopped from bravely looking for my prize. I tirelessly walked bravely for days as I explored the mountain. Bravely."
Chopper sat in doe-eyed wonder of Ussop, who was sitting on the lawn chair with Nami.
"Really?" the reindeer asked, his muzzle hanging slightly ajar.
"For sure," Ussop nodded.
"Bullshit," Franky commented, walking by with an armful of planks. Ussop deflated a little.
"Okay, so maybe it wasn't a mountain," he amended. "But it was huge! The size of my entire hometown."
"Really?" Chopper asked, still doe-eyed.
"Absolutely," Ussop agreed.
"Wappol's castle was bigger than your entire village," Sanji pointed out, bringing them drinks.
Ussop deflated a little more.
"But I was brave! Brave as a wild lion hunting a bison," he tried again.
"Wow," Chopper gushed, now with stars in his eyes.
"I believe you used the phrase, 'If someone will save me, I'll turn myself in and give you the reward money,'" Zoro added.
Ussop deflated completely and fell across the lawn chair in desolation. His head turned to look at Nami, who sat motionless on the other end of the chair, staring at the grassy deck.
"You believe me, don't you Nami?" he pleaded, bowing his head and clasping his hands together in prayer. He received no answer, but when he glanced up, a small smile was on her lips briefly, before it danced away again in a flash.
Day Five
"Oi! Why do you just sit there all day? Give us a course heading!"
Nami sat silently on her lawn chair as Zoro yelled at her across the deck.
"Or do we need to bribe you?" he guessed. He got up and crossed the grassy desk to stand next to her. "A hundred berries for a course heading? A thousand for a weather report?"
A breeze slid gently across the deck and ruffled Nami's loose hair. Zoro sighed.
"A million for a smile?" he suggested quietly. "A billion for a laugh? We'd pay it, you know."
And then some.
"I wouldn't even complain about four hundred percent interest," he added, walking towards the center of the deck to practice.
Day Six
"Orange panties!"
Nothing.
"Polka dot panties!"
Still nothing.
"Frilly panties!"
Nope.
"Crotchless panties?"
A brief fit of red flashed across Nami's cheeks and nose before it disappeared again.
"Brooke! What the hell are you doing?" Sanji barked, walking over to the two of them.
"Trying to guess what kind of panties she's wearing," Brooke sing-songed. "If I do, then I get to see them."
"She agreed to that?" Sanji asked, doubtfully.
"No, but—"
Sanji kicked the violinist to the other side of the boat. "Perverted afro-bones."
Day Seven
"Steak?" Luffy asked, propelling pieces of biscuits from his mouth.
"For the seventh and final time," Sanji grumbled, "no."
"If that's the final time, then do I get steak tomorrow?" Luffy asked, picking up enthusiasm.
"If you can find a cow wandering around in the ocean, then so be it," Sanji answered, exasperated. Luffy whooped in triumph and began stealing food off the plates of everyone at a blinding pace. Until his hand was stabbed.
"Ow!" he shouted, yanking fruitlessly at his hand, which was pinned to the table under a fork. He looked pathetically up to the owner of the fork, and patheticness turned to wonder.
Nami sipped her tea quietly, ignoring his twitching hand only inches from her toast. Luffy's eyes scanned everyone else's in a flash to confirm that none of them had done it. Their shock at his pinned hand affirmed they hadn't.
Zoro suddenly laughed loudly. "Serves you right, bottomless-pit-boy."
Other chuckles began to erupt from around the table.
Luffy's wonder began fading and was replaced by pouting. "Can I have my hand back please?"
Day Eight
They were running low on wood. A few more nights of this and Franky'd run out of materials to repair the ship. The quaking nights of storms and restless sea had to stop soon, or Sunny was going to start to suffer pretty badly.
He kept his thoughts to himself, though. It was hard enough forcing the nightly drinking parties. The only ones who seemed to really get into it were Zoro and Sanji, who battled each other nightly to see who'd suck down the most ale.
"Brooke! Play Ussop's courageous ballad number three hundred sixty seven!" Ussop cried, half hanging over the railing from the upper deck, a mug of ale sloshing with his movement.
Apparently he'd gotten into it as well, tonight. Franky sighed.
"Tired?"
Franky glanced at Robin, then went back to watching the rest of his crewmates.
"No more than you, I'd guess," he answered. "Do you get any sleep at all these days?"
"My fair share," she admitted. "Though Nami gets less, I am sure. Sometimes it is understandable that our exuberance is suffering. We are all exhausted."
Conversation paused while Ussop led an idiot train consisting of Luffy, Chopper and Brooke noisily across the deck. Sanji walked with Nami out of the galley and came to join them sitting near the table.
"Oi! Asshole! You're late! And already three drinks behind!" Zoro bellowed from next to the ale barrel.
"Or maybe you're catching up to me," Sanji countered. "Since you dropped off first last night. I drank three after you passed out drunk in your own drool."
Sanji stood and joined his drinking rival at the barrel.
"I wonder how long our ale supply will last with the two of them," Robin mused. Franky grunted noncommittally and finished his own mug. Robin watched Nami as she gazed over the port of the ship into the darkness. Clouds always seemed to be covering the moon these days and made it impossible to see where the ocean met the sky anymore.
Until the lightening came. It streaked across the sky in spider webbed patterns. The rain would be along any time now.
Day Nine
Nami wasn't in her bed. Robin didn't bother to change before going in search of her. It was still early enough that the only person who should be up was Sanji. Robin went to the galley first, but Nami wasn't there. Sanji joined her in her search, but it was unneeded. Nami was leaning on the railing on the main deck, watching the sea as it passed under the ship.
Relief filled Robin. Nami was dressed and ready for the day and hadn't needed any goading. It was progress.
Day Ten
"Who was up last night?"
Almost everyone at the breakfast table looked up at Franky.
"Huh?" Ussop voiced for them.
"Who kept watch last night?" he reiterated. Blank looks passed between them.
"No one?" Chopper guessed.
"Impossible," Franky denied. "Didn't anyone notice that we didn't pass through the storm last night?"
Silence suggested that no one had.
Day Eleven
Sitting on the lion's head, Luffy let the breeze rustle his hair and clothes. It was as close to normal as things would get. He looked down at his bandaged right hand and half smiled. He hadn't even meant to steal her toast but it was good that he had. It had proved that he wasn't wrong about her.
Nami was still there, and he was going to bring her back.
"Oi! Gomu no turd! Get your ass in here for lunch or I'll feed it to the gulls!" Sanji yelled from the galley. Luffy hopped down from the lion's head and propelled himself to the other end of the ship. He saw Nami leaning against the railing.
"Hey, Nami," he called, strolling over to join her. "You hungry for lunch?"
One day, she'd answer him again. For now, he was happy that she would just turn to look at him in acknowledgement.
"Come on, I'll give ya a lift," he added, reaching out to grab her around the waist and lift her over his shoulder. She was as rigid as a board at first, but by the time he'd carried her to the galley, she'd relaxed enough to hold onto his shoulders instead of push them away.
Day Twelve
"She still hasn't said anything," Zoro pointed out.
"She is making improvement, though," Sanji put forth.
"There's only two days left," Ussop sighed. "How do we decide if she's better or not?"
"She is better," Robin said. "But not back to normal."
"Do we take her home?" Chopper asked.
"How do we even get her there?" Franky wondered aloud.
"We're not taking her there," Luffy argued. "Not unless she wants to go."
"And how do you suppose that we find out if she does?" Sanji snapped. "Like shit-head said, she hasn't spoken at all."
"If she wants to go there, she'll take us there," Luffy insisted. "She's our navigator. We go where she takes us."
"She hasn't been taking us anywhere," Franky reminded him. "We don't even know where we've been going."
"Don't give up on her!" Luffy demanded. "We can't give up on her!"
"We're not giving up!" Zoro shouted back. "But we can't go on like this!"
"I will!" Luffy stated. "We won't take her home! Not unless she wants to! And anyone who argues with me can go jump ship now!"
All of them looked at him in shock except Ussop.
"Yeah, you're right," Ussop shrugged, wandering away from the tense argument. "I'm not jumping ship just because she hasn't said anything. It'll come."
The others looked between each other, reaffirming their resolve.
Day Thirteen
They were arguing about her again. She knew it was about her. It was always about her. She felt shame that they did. She tried to be good and do as she was supposed to but it was a lot harder these days. She'd smiled and looked at them and taken it upon herself to do things. She was being far too rebellious.
She needed to be punished.
No one here would, though. No one would punish her for the bad things she did. No one would correct her behavior and as a result, she was becoming worse and worse. She had already laughed once, and if she wasn't careful, she may end up speaking.
The thought sent a chill through her.
She wasn't supposed to speak. If she did, she'd be killed.
As long as you keep on living, things will get better
She had to keep on living. Even though it was the last thing she wanted to do now that Asha was gone, she had to. A feeling deep inside her soul was forcing her to. Compelling her to. She couldn't give up because of it.
"Whatcha lookin' at?" the boy with the scar asked, walking over to stand next to her as she leaned over the side of the ship. His words were almost completely clear to her these days. Once in a while she'd have trouble hearing him, but for now, he simply sounded to her like she was trying to hear him through a closed door.
The boy with the scar. Try as she might, she couldn't remember his name. It was lost to her.
"I like to sit on the lion's head," he told her, pointing to the ornamental figure at the front of the ship. "I can always see what's headed my way there."
Interesting concept, but Nami stayed where she was. She was watching the clouds near the horizon and wondering why she knew what they were going to do. The wind would pick up in a few minutes and a squall would overtake them if they didn't adjust the sails and catch a headwind away from it.
"Are you happy here?" he asked quietly. So quietly, she had trouble hearing it.
Happy? No. Happiness was little hands and fingers grasping hers and giving her bubble and spittle filled smiles.
"Do you want to go home?" he asked, looking heartbroken at the thought.
Home? Yes. Home was a small hut that shielded her and Asha from the hot sun during the day and allowed them to spend hours on end just looking at each other.
"To Nojiko and the ossan?" he added.
Who?
Bellemere loves us! Even if we aren't her real kids!
The way she held you, the day she brought you home, I knew everything would be alright for you two.
Those voices were clear as a bell in her head. She recognized them, but couldn't put faces to them. And then there was that name: Bellemere.
Nojiko, Nami, I love you!
Nami felt as though the wind had been knocked out of her. That voice! It was the voice that kept her alive. Kept her pushing each day and living through it. That was Bellemere. The face of a thin, hard woman with magenta hair buzzed into a mohawk came to her suddenly. Her hair was tied at her neck and she grinned widely, clutching a cigarette in between her teeth.
"Hey! Nami! What's wrong?" the boy with the scar asked. She vaguely registered him trying to pull her back to her feet. She hadn't realized that she'd dropped to her knees. "Please don't cry!"
She was crying? That must have been why her cheeks felt cold when the wind blew.
"Okay," he sighed, pulling her into a hug. "We'll take you home."
Day Fourteen
Breakfast was silent again. No one even bothered to make small talk anymore. Not since Luffy had announced the night before that they were taking Nami back to Cocoyashi. Before anyone could ask about the sudden change in their captain's determination, he'd uttered that she wanted to go. And like that, all hope fell away from them.
Nami didn't eat at all. She simply sat in her chair with silent tears falling down her cheeks. The sight of her vanquished any hope that they might have had that their captain was wrong.
Day Fifteen
It had been a rare occasion when Luffy had ever been prevailed upon to sit still in the library with Nami. Before, he'd usually been chased out by her within two minutes of entering because of his rambunctiousness. However there had been one or two occasions where he had managed to behave while she worked on a map. Once, he'd even asked to see the maps that she'd made.
She'd filed them all into a waterproof cabinet, in order of latitude and longitude. There were hundreds of them. When he'd asked how she'd made so many, she told him most of them were from memory, and pulled out a very old and bloodstained one to show him.
It was Cocoyashi. The first map she'd ever made. It was important to her. So important, that he knew exactly where she kept it in the cabinet. He retrieved it and went back down to the main deck where she sat listlessly on her lawn chair.
"Here," he said, handing it to her. For a moment, she didn't even register that he was talking to her, but eventually, her eyes saw the map he held out to her and grasped it.
Her hands lightly ran over the various lines of the map, studying them briefly before moving onto the next one. Her finger fell onto a grouping of three trees drawn around and X and next to a house. Her eyes flew to the upper deck where her trees were, then fell back down to the map.
He sat down next to her on the lawn chair and put his head in his hands. "This isn't how the journey is supposed to end."
Day Sixteen
The ship rocked back and forth as it narrowly avoided cannonball fire. Behind Thousand Sunny, Smoker's ship was in hot pursuit of them.
"I suppose we should count ourselves lucky that he didn't find us before," Franky commented, trying to rein the helm. "We've been wandering aimlessly for almost two months."
"He's gaining!" Ussop cried, trying to return fire from the back of the ship. "Can we use the coup d'vent?"
"Not enough soda," Franky denied. "We're going to have to face him head on."
.o0o.
The Mugiwara Pirates. To find them out here, only forty or fifty leagues from the Calm Belt was odd, Smoker decided. They tended to stay on the path of the Logpose, so seeing them this far out was a surprise.
Not that he wouldn't take advantage of it.
Before dawn had even come, he'd gotten within two or three leagues of them and opened fire. He attributed the lack of return fire or fight to be due to his unexpected attack. The closer his ship got to theirs, he could tell they were gearing up for a hand to hand fight.
Fine with him. It was more enjoyable to crush your enemies with your hands rather than cannonballs.
He let a few dozen men board their ship before he crossed on himself, watching his men double and triple team each pirate and still fall. Pathetic, but not unexpected. He and Tashigi were probably the only ones on his ship that would be able to take pirates of this rank down.
As he sauntered across the deck of the ship watching the battle, Smoker's gaze fell on the orange haired pirate, Nami. She looked confused at the chaos of the battle, choosing not to join in and instead, acting as a wallflower near the stairs. Intrigued, Smoker ambled toward her.
"Hey!" Luffy yelled, hopping down from the upper deck and landing between them. "You fight me!"
There was something in the way he said it that made Smoker believe that this pirate was not engaging him due to some ridiculous form of pride, but more in desperation. He raised his eyebrow in fascination.
"Fight you?" Smoker repeated, letting the mist-like smoke billow from him and envelope the pirate. "Hardly. I will utterly defeat you."
The gray cloud of smoke suddenly levitated with its detainee and floated to the side of the ship. A rubber hand shot out of the all encompassing smoke, but in the wrong direction and could grab no purchase as the smoke cloud suddenly receded and dropped the rubber man towards the sea.
Smoker heard the splash rather than saw it, since he was watching Nami the Cat Burglar again. She still looked confused, as though she couldn't figure something out. She was looking to the side of the ship where he'd tossed the Strawhat. Confusion turned to panic, and she sprang from the wall towards the side. He caught her wrist in her pursuit.
She flinched and cowered in his grip, completely catching him off guard. This was not what she was supposed to do. She was an expert lock picker and evader of capture. That she could be caught and would simply give up so quickly was wrong. He let go of her wrist.
Instead of running again, she stayed cowered before him, hiding her face in shame. What was this behavior? It confused and somewhat irritated him. Smoker knew this pirate was not like this. He took a second, more careful look at her.
She was thin. Her hair was stringy. Her skin was pale except for angry pink marks peeking out the top of the collar of her shirt. Further inspection of the ship showed that it had taken on a lot of damage recently. The once green trees that had flourished on the upper deck were nearly barren, and even the faces of the other pirates seemed drawn and full of exhaustion.
This crew was suffering internally. This was not the Mugiwara Crew that he had vowed to capture. This was a ghost of that crew, and was in limbo it seemed. Desire to capture this crew washed away immediately.
"Fall back," he ordered his crew. Though no one verbally questioned him, his crew gave him odd looks before obeying and evacuating back to their own ship.
.o0o.
The shadow that had been cast over her was moving away. Fearfully, Nami hazarded a glance in front of her and saw nothing, and upon raising her head a little further, saw the man in the white coat walking away from her.
Desperation returned to her immediately. She had to jump ship! She had to!
The boy with the scar had disappeared over the side nearly half a minute ago and hadn't returned. It seemed odd to her at first until she recalled that he couldn't swim, which was what now made her desperate to reach him. She dove over the side of the ship into the water.
Despite the sun high in the sky, the water was cold and the salt stung her eyes. The deeper she went, the less light there was, but she kept going down. Straight down. That's where the boy with the scar would have gone. He'd have sunk like a rock.
A minute had to have passed by now. Very few would be able to hold their breath that long and Nami kicked her legs even harder, knowing that if she didn't reach him soon, the boy with the scar would drown.
A sandal!
She reached for it, but it wasn't attached to a foot. She propelled herself deeper. There! A red vest! It was him.
His skin was cold. Colder than the ocean. His eyes were closed and his mouth slightly ajar. He was unconscious. She couldn't worry about it now. She had to get up to the surface. She launched herself up towards the light that seemed very far away now. Her own lungs were beginning to burn due to lack of oxygen, but she wouldn't give up.
Finally, she broke the surface. After a big gulp of air, she returned her attention to the boy with the scar, who was still unconscious, though water was pouring out of his mouth and nose. He didn't take a breath.
Panic. Overwhelming panic. This boy was going to die. He was going to die in her arms, floating in the ocean with her.
No! She'd give anything for this boy to live! He had to live! She'd do anything!
Anything?
Would she give up her own life in exchange for his?
Yes. Unquestionably, yes.
Beat the water out of his lungs and call his name. These things would surely get her killed, because they were the two most forbidden things: beating a man and speaking. But she had to! If she didn't, he'd die! The boy with the scar simply could not die. She knew it was true, even at the cost of her own life.
She raised her hand and fisted it, then brought it down on his back hard. His body jolted against hers and more water poured out of his mouth, but he still didn't take a breath. She beat his back again. A choking sound, but still no intake of air.
Call his name! Scream it!
I can't remember his name!
This boy, who had to live, had saved her so many times, but she couldn't remember his name. He had saved her from the pirate Buggy. He'd saved her from the terror of her home village, Arlong. He'd carried her up a mountain in search of a doctor on Drum Island. He'd come for her and faced Eneru on his flying fortress.
All these things came rushing back to her suddenly, bombarding her. This boy had never left her. He'd been with her on that horrible island Lytheria. He'd come to her in her dreams and had reminded her what her name was and reminded her that she had to make it off Lytheria. He'd stood in the shallow water of the bay and held his hand out to her, promising to make things better.
His name was Luffy.
"Luffy!" she cried, bringing her fist down onto his back again. A grunt and cough came out. "Luffy!"
This time, heavy coughing wracked her as she clutched him close, determined not to let him slip beneath the surface and choke. Deep, crackly breaths poured in and out of him as his eyes fluttered open.
"Say it again," he gargled, still spitting out water.
"Luffy," she whispered, watching him smile.
"Louder," he pleaded, resting his head on her shoulder.
"Luffy," she said again, feeling him smile and then chuckle.
"Awesome," he sighed, then began to snore.
Day Seventeen
"Say it again," Luffy begged, sitting on the grass in front of her lawn chair. "Please?"
"Luffy," Nami whispered.
"Now mine!" Chopper pleaded, bouncing as he sat next to Luffy.
"Tony Tony Chopper," she spoke quietly.
"Silly! You saying my name is nothing to me!" Chopper sang, dancing around the lawn chair happily.
"Oi! Oi! Leave her alone! You guys have been bugging her all morning," Sanji scolded, handing Nami a drink. "It's time for her to say my name!"
His eyes filled with hearts as Sanji dropped to his knees before her.
"Ero-cook," she smiled. Sanji deflated instantly, while boisterous laughter rang up from the other side of the ship.
"Serves you right, pervert!" Zoro called, leaning against the rail of the ship in the shade. Sanji glowered, but returned his attention to Nami as she laughed quietly.
"Sanji-kun," she said, watching him melt into a puddle of devotion.
"Ah, Nami-swan!" he cried. "I am in heaven, for your voice is surely that of an angel's."
Nami smiled and leaned back in her chair, closing her eyes. She listened to the sounds of the crew moving about the deck and going about their daily lives, her ears completely clear and unobstructed for the first time in months.
Epilogue
The wind lightly rustled Nami's hair. It promised of an afternoon shower, but nothing serious. It would water the grassy deck as well as her trees on the upper deck.
Her trees.
They were finally starting to bud again. They'd nearly lost all of their leaves when she had picked up the pruning shears and watering can. It had taken a couple weeks of tender loving care, but the mikan trees were on the mend and would possibly blossom some fruit in a month or two.
It was the promise of a new beginning.
Things couldn't go back completely to the way they were, simply because the lack of attention and care had changed them permanently. The trees would be scarred barren near the trunk, but grow bigger and stronger with time and effort. And eventually, the change would no longer be noticeable to anyone who didn't know of it.
Not unlike herself.
The care she gave to the trees was like a metaphor for how her crew was rehabilitating herself. Their endless patience with her was an unspoken form of love, it felt like. Even Zoro, who usually didn't talk to her unless he was arguing, showed lack of complaint while she worked through forgetting the programmed behavior.
She owed them all her life in so many ways.
It brought tears to her eyes to think about it. They'd spent almost three months looking for her and trying to repair the damage that had been done to her, blatantly refusing to give up on her when it had been absolutely hopeless.
Hopeless.
She knew it had been, at one point, because that's how she'd felt. Hopeless.
Even now, when she thought of the baby Asha, her heart twinged with worry. When they'd first left, she'd felt like the world would end. It hadn't, and she'd gotten better, thanks to her nakama, but she would always wonder about the little baby she'd cared for those long weeks.
Was she okay? Was Margol able to support her? Was she eating enough? Was she warm enough?
Endless questions plagued Nami, usually at night, when her crew wasn't gathered around her and helping her move on. It was hard to fall asleep when she was worrying, and when she did sleep, she dreamt of the child being left on her own. Needless to say, Nami hadn't gotten good sleep in a long time.
"Oi! Nami!"
Ussop was calling to her, waving something over his head.
"The news gull came and brought the paper," he told her, handing her the bundle. "Wouldn't leave 'til I paid for it, even though the paper is a couple days old."
"Old news is better than no news, I suppose," she shrugged, no longer fearful that words would mean her death. In the weeks since the battle with Smoker, she'd remembered what life was like before they'd ever gone into the Ring Maze and more, recalled how life was supposed to be. "So much has happened in four months that I feel out of the loop."
She took her paper down to the lawn chair and sat down, scanning the stories for what she wanted to read first. She felt something plop lightly down on her stomach and saw a small, white envelope there. Confused, she examined it to see that there was nothing written on it to address it to someone, but it was sealed as though it had been meant to be mailed.
Curiosity ebbed at her, and she tore off one side of the envelope and pulled out a stained paper with messy scrawling on it. Automatically, her eyes searched for an addressee, and then could not stop reading.
Nami,
I am sure that your crew wouldn't approve of me writing you. That's why I bribed the news gull, in hopes that it would reach you. Rubil said the gull came daily to the ship, trying to deliver a paper and that your cook had said you'd been an avid reader. If I am wrong, and this letter falls into one of their hands, I don't think it will ever make it to yours. But hopefully someday, one of them may read it to you, despite their feelings about me, or still better, you will be able to read it yourself.
There is so much to say; where do I begin?
With you, I suppose. There are so many things that I never knew about you. I never knew you were a navigator and a thief. I didn't even know your name until your crew members mentioned it aloud. But not even knowing that, you were so important to me. Not just me, Asha too. And Elos, and Kartil, and Meyani. Everyone. If you had not come to us, I truly do think our children would be dead.
I mentioned that once to the swordsman, Zoro. He didn't find any comfort in that, though. He believed that what was done to you had no justification. I agree, it doesn't. But because you came to us and endured it, we were able to have a better life. That's what I'm trying to say, I suppose. Thank you for suffering and eventually making our lives better.
I still hear his words. 'Small consolation.' I doubt there is anything I could say that would make your swordsman hate me less. Or your crew. I truly believe that Zoro would have killed me that day on the beach if you had not intervened. Even through the doses of Acaisa and beatings from Gowen, you still tried to save the life of a man that you had no reason to care for. I don't think I will ever be half the person you are.
Asha misses you. The first week you were gone, she cried day and night. Nothing could be done to console her. I feared that I would once again lose my daughter, but the kindness of Rubil has been staggering. He made it a personal mission to see her smile again. He cares for her as if she was one of his own kin, and even let me stay with him until I got myself in a position to care for her properly. He taught me reading and writing, and spends hours a day with Asha, determined to see her smile and laugh.
He is a better father than me. I try, though. He is gruff, but encouraging to me as well. It was his idea for me to write you. I believed that you would want nothing to do with me ever again, but he told me that writing you would bring a kind of closure. In a way, it has. I can tell you how I feel, how much you meant to me, how grateful I am to you and yours, and you won't hear it as an order. You'll hear it as a sincere expression of gratitude.
I must tell you before I send this that Asha has begun to crawl. It brings me a kind of joy that I don't think I can express in words, but I think that if anyone in this world would understand the feeling, it would be you, her other mother. You are her other parent, no question about it. You loved her in a way that only a parent could. I promise that when she is old enough, or when she asks, I will tell her the truth: she had two mothers.
Aiesha gave birth to her and gave her life. You cared for her and saved her life.
Always thankful and forever in your debt,
Margol
With shaking hands, Nami refolded the note and put it back in the envelope, catching it on something else within it. Nami took out the picture, a small smile coming to her lips. It was Asha, sitting up on the floor. She was holding a small ball and smiling widely, flailing little chubby arms at Rubil, who was playing with her.
She was happy, healthy, and perfectly fine.
A huge sigh escaped her, along with a few tears. But the tears weren't from pain, but rather joy. Yes, Rubil had been right; Margol writing to her had been closure. She could go on, not wondering if everything would be okay. She knew now that it would.
She sat back in her lawn chair, holding the picture and letter close to her heart. Her eyes closed willfully and within moments, she was peacefully asleep.
~End
A/N: Please be kind and review. I'll love to know what you think.