Once again I would like to thank my constant reviewers Jen4306, Evalyne, Roxfox1962 and CCBug. Writting wouldn't be so nice without your constant nice words. Thank you :) And thanks to everyone else who takes time to review or just read. It means so much :)
So here we have again some tender moment between Elissa and Rory. I also adapted their return to Redcliffe and the meeting with the arl, to add a bit of drama! Hope you'll like it :)
Elissa's eyes focused on the fire camp, her knees pressed tightly against her chest, her thoughts wandering. She could hear Leliana asking a ton of questions about their quest, her tone excited as Alistair told her how magnificent the temple was. A part of her wanted to join her friends but another part wanted to remain alone with her thoughts. She heard footsteps in the grass but didn't pay attention to the intruder.
"You've been awfully quiet since we left the temple." Roland sat next to her, frowning. Elissa remained silent, her eyes never leaving the crackling fire. "What's troubling you? Is it because of what happened with the Guardian and your father's spirit?"
"Yes and no." she muttered, still hypnotized by the flames dancing in front of her.
"You said you could have saved everyone. What did you mean by that?"
"Nothing." A tear dropped from her eye and rolled on her cheek. She brushed it absently, her arm returning around her knees.
Roland looked at her, silent, as he understood how she felt when she tried to have him talk about what happened but failing. He sighed, his arm wrapping around her.
"The rumors were true, weren't they?"
"What rumors?" she asked, betraying no emotion.
"About Thomas Howe and you. That's what you meant when you said you could have saved them"
"I don't know what the rumors said about us."
"That you were getting married."
"He proposed a week before the attack." Elissa turned her head slowly, her eyes fixing on Roland, her expression sad. "I told him it was too soon, I needed time to think. I knew I didn't have a choice to accept but I tried to delay the inevitable... but at what cost."
"Do you truly believe it would have changed something?"
"His father wouldn't have attacked us."
"You don't know that, my love. Howe wants power, no matter what. He would have attacked eventually."
"Thomas loved me; Howe wouldn't kill his son's wife."
"Elissa, he tried to kill you and I'm sure he knew his son's feelings for you. I don't think he ever cared for his children."
"Maybe..." she whispered softly, unconvinced.
"That's not the only thing troubling you, is it?"
"No." Elissa gave no further explanation, hypnotized by the fire. Roland caressed her back tenderly, waiting for her to continue but she remained silent.
She rested her head on his shoulder; he pressed his head on hers and closed his eyes, exhausted by the day's events. He knew he would soon fall asleep and though he tried to struggle, sleep claimed him slowly.
"I don't even know if he is still alive." Elissa's voice startled him and he opened his eyes quickly.
"What?" he asked sleepily, not knowing how long he slept.
"I should have tried to find him before going to Lothering but we didn't have time. We had to leave before someone could find us. And after that I simply forgot..." she raised her head, her blue eyes filled with tears. "How can I forget my own brother?"
"You have a lot on your mind, my love. You and Alistair are the only surviving Grey Wardens and you must unite Ferelden against the darkspawn; this isn't an easy task." He kissed her gently. "Don't torture yourself like that; I'm sure Fergus would understand why you couldn't search for him right away. If you want, as soon as the Blight is over, we'll look for him together. I'm sure he is still alive."
"Thank you, Rory." she muttered, pressing herself tighter against his body. "I'm sorry for waking you."
"Waking me? I just closed my eyes, I wasn't sleeping." he lied, his cheeks burning.
"You were snoring, love." she laughed softly. "It's been a long day, you are exhausted and I know you haven't been sleeping very well lately. Maybe you should go to bed, try to get some sleep even if it's only for a few hours."
"I'm fine, really. I'm awake now if you still need to talk."
"No, I suppose you are right; I should stop torturing myself with everything. Besides, I am tired and cold..." a mischievous smile spread slowly on her lips, her voice a whisper as she continued, her eyes fixed on his "...and you owe me for saving your life in Haven."
"I thought you wanted me to get some sleep." Roland raised an eyebrow, grinning.
Elissa leaned forward, her lips brushed against his but without kissing him. "If you prefer to sleep, it's your choice..." She rose slowly, and headed to their tent, swaying her hips sensually. She turned her head, her eyes fixed on his and smiled lovingly.
She closed the flap behind her before throwing her shirt outside. Roland rose quickly and followed her in the tent, all traces of sleep vanished.
OooooooooooooooooO
They were back in Redcliffe, waiting to know if the Ashes would cure the arl. Once again the wait was driving Elissa crazy and she had to take deep breaths to remain calm. She sat on the floor, her back against the wall, her mabari's head in her lap. She stroked the dog's head absently, wondering how long they'd still have to wait. It took an eternity but Alistair finally came in the throne room.
"It worked, the arl is awake." He smiled happily, relieved. "He would like to talk to us."
"Ah, there you are." Arl Eamon greeted her solemly. "Thank you for saving my life and keeping my family safe. I am in your debt."
Teagan helped his brother to a seat. The arl motioned them to join him, his eyes fixed on Elissa. "Teagan told me what happened to your family, Lady Cousland. I am sorry; your father was a good friend."
"Thank you, my Lord, but there is no need to call me Lady Cousland anymore. I am a Grey Warden now."
"I never fully trusted Rendon Howe but I never thought he would betray his best friend. Do you know why he attacked your family?"
"I don't know." Elissa replied sadly.
"I am sorry for bringing back such memories." Eamon smiled at her, his hand squeezing her arm gently.
"We should speak of Loghain, brother. We don't know what he will do when he learns of your recovery."
"Loghain..." the arl sighed sadly. "I have known him for a long time; he is a sensible man who never desired power."
"I was there when he proclaimed himself regent. Anora seems to think her father does what is best for Ferelden but I don't believe that." Teagan explained.
"What is best for Ferelden? He killed Cailan and sent someone to poison me."
"He allied himself with Howe." Elissa blurted, remembering what Zevran had told her. "He blames the Grey Wardens for Cailan's death. Howe hired an assassin to kill us. I am not sure if he knows I am still alive or if it's only a coincidence but they will not stop until they achieve their goal."
"Are you sure he is working with Howe?" Eamon asked, confused. Elissa nodded. "This is most troubling. We must stop them."
"We can't fight Loghain and the darkspawn at the same time. Loghain has supporters but I am not convinced they know the truth. We must expose him." Elissa exclaimed, rising from her seat. Alistair, startled by the sudden outburst, looked at her curiously.
"I will spread words of Loghain's treachery but we have no proof. If we want to succeed, we need something else." The arl fixed Alistair, studying him carefully. "We need someone with a stronger claim to the throne than Loghain's daughter. I know Maric never wanted this, but he never expected what happened. We have no choice."
"No, no, no..." Alistair started, fully aware of where the conversation was leading.
"You intend to put Alistair forward as king?" Elissa asked, her eyes fixing on her friend. "I think it could work. It will take Loghain by surprise and I'm sure some nobles would support Maric's son."
"I don't want to be king!" the young man protested vehemently.
"You have a responsibility, Alistair. Without you, Loghain wins. Do you want that?"
"No..." Alistair grumbled, reluctantly accepting his fate.
"I will call for a Landsmeet. There, Ferelden's nobility can decide who shall rule."
"While you expose Loghain and prepare the Landsmeet we will continue our task to gather allies against the Blight."
"It is a good idea. I am sure you and your friends need some rest. Perhaps you would consider staying here for the night?"
"Thank you, my Lord."
OooooooooooooooooO
They rejoined the others in the throne room, Alistair furiously shouting at Elissa.
"How could you do that to me? I thought we were friends!"
"We are friends, Alistair."
"How can you say that? A friend wouldn't backstab me the way you did!"
Fully aware of everyone's eyes on them, Elissa grabbed Alistair's arm and looked at him, lowering her voice. "I understand your anger, Alistair, but we don't have a choice. I care about you, a lot. You are a dear friend and it doesn't please me to go against your wishes but -"
"No, you don't care. No one ever cared." Alistair interrupted her before storming out of the room. Morrigan's eyes followed the young man, an evil grin on her face.
Elissa sighed and massaged the bridge of her nose in an attempt to calm herself.
"We are spending the night here; we'll leave tomorrow for Orzammar." she declared roughly before heading to her own room, Roland on her heels.
"Wait, Elissa. What's going on?" He grabbed her arm to stop her. "I have seen him upset over some things before but never like that. What happened with the arl?"
"Not here; come." She led him to her room and collapsed on the bed. "He thinks I betrayed him."
"Why would he think such a thing?" Roland inquired, sitting next to her.
"Bann Teagan informed us Loghain wants to control the throne. The arl came up with a plan and I agreed to it which displeased Alistair greatly."
"That doesn't explain why he yelled at you."
"He is right, Rory. I betrayed him. He trusted me with something and I went against him."
"I'm sure you had good reasons to agree to the arl's plan."
Elissa sighed. "It's not that easy, Rory. Eamon asked Alistair to do something he doesn't want to. And I agreed to it, though I knew his feelings about the whole thing."
"I'm sure if you explain your decision to him he will understand."
"I'm not so sure about that."
"Elissa, you are friends. He needs you though he won't admit it to you. Go talk to him before it's too late."
"I don't think it's not a good idea..." she argued as Roland pushed her out of the room.
OooooooooooooooooO
Elissa stood still, her hand and forehead pressed on the door. She heard noises from inside the room and wondered if he was calm enough to listen to her. She didn't want him to yell at her again, she knew she wouldn't bear to lose his friendship. She knocked hesitantly and entered without waiting for an answer.
"What do you want?" Alistair asked roughly.
"We need to talk."
"No."
"I know you don't want to be king, Alistair, but Eamon is right. You are our only hope against Loghain."
"And you think using me is right?" he shouted angrily.
"We are not using you."
"If I recall correctly you said it would take Loghain by surprise. You and Eamon are using me against Loghain!"
"Alistair..."
"No. I will remain at your side to fight the darkspawn but don't expect more from me."
Elissa turned to leave but stopped, her hand on the door knob.
"You want to know why I agreed to Eamon's plan? Because Ferelden needs a good king."
"I am no king."
"I know you, Alistair; you are a good man and a better leader than you think. I don't know why you don't trust yourself, but I do. We need you. I am sorry you don't see it, and I am sorry our friendship is over. I valued it greatly."
"You really think what you said?" he asked after a moment.
"Yes, I do."
"I know nothing about being king."
Elissa closed the distance between them and placed her hand on his heart. "Follow your instincts like you always do. Follow your heart and you will be the kind of king your father was; respected and loved by everyone. I have faith in you, Alistair, and so does Eamon."
"Why do you put so much faith in me?"
"Because I know you, you are my friend."
Alistair looked at her thoughtfully and smiled sadly. "I am sorry for overreacting and being selfish. I don't want to lose your friendship. Will you forgive me for yelling at you?"
"Don't worry, it's already forgotten." she whispered before hugging her friend tight.