Steamy In Here

I have a confession to make…

A while back, I told you that nothing major happened when I went on my second date (it's still debatable if having dinner with him was the first date, or whether the taste testing thing was the third) with Roxas, minus some really heavy kissing. I told Sora the same thing as well. That was sort of a lie and I feel kind of bad about it now.

You may not remember me saying it, but I do. I feel obligated to let you know what really happened that night, since it caused us to be even more awkward with one another after we left. I'm hoping it'll explain a little more about the beginning of our relationship.

Let's go back to the beginning of the date.

After stressing for hours on what to wear, how to act, and whether or not I should laugh at all of his jokes, the time had come for Roxas to show up. What really worried me, more than any of that or all of it combined, was the date itself. It was technically our first so I had every reason to be, right? I kept wondering if he would act the same way he did when he texted or called me: obviously nervous, but very polite. Believe me when I say guys have switched up on me before. They'd be nice up until the actual date, then become a totally different person. I'd seen some of Roxas' bad side before and I fully expected him to revert back to that guy.

I worried myself sick until ten that night. That's when Roxas told me the date would start. He pulled up two minutes after ten, looking just as frazzled as myself when he walked to the door. Something about him immediately let me know that he wasn't used to this….whatever "this"was. I took a deep breath and opened the door.

Roxas. Looked. Amazing.

I mean he's not usually unattractive. I'm used to seeing him in suits and dress shirts, so I believe I'm desensitized to that. But that night he was dressed down. His outfit only consisted of a solid green golf shirt, a pair of tight fitting gray jeans, and white shoes, but it looked so damn good on him.

I had to stop myself from staring at him like a buffoon and smiled. "Hey! I mean hey. Uh, is this too dressy?"

He panicked for a couple seconds before he answered. "No, you're fine! That's actually perfect."

God, was I thankful to hear that. I decided to wear a navy blue dress for the date, but it was way too small, so I threw some black tights on and hoped I could pass it off as a long shirt.

"Okay good. So where are we headed?" I asked as I grabbed my purse. I knew it was a date, but I didn't want him to pay for me. I had a great paying job and I could pay for myself. Money was definitely not an issue.

"Hundred Acre."

I tossed my purse back on the dresser. Money was a bit of an issue.

Let me explain. Hundred Acre is the most expensive fucking hotel I've ever been to in my entire life. Sora and I only went once for a three day work conference and it cost the company eight thousand dollars. So hell no, I was not paying for that. In fact, I wasn't about to let him pay for that either.

"I'm not letting you pay for that, Roxas."

His brow furrowed a bit, matching his confused smile. "Pay? Baby, it's free."

The word baby caught me off guard. I was gonna ask how he could get all of that for free, but I decided to keep my mouth shut before I stuttered and said something stupid. His eyes widened shortly after the words slipped out and he quickly turned around. "D-Don't worry about money. Everything will be fine."

My mouth had glued itself shut, so I couldn't protest and tell him no. With a guilty conscience, I followed him to his car and let him drive us there.

After a while, I thought I was going a little insane. The only thing I could hear was the sound of the car's engine. The silence was deafening and I had no idea how to strike up conversation. He seemed to feel the same because he turned on the radio after a while. That only made me feel worse. People only turn the radio on when things are unbearably awkward. I just stared out of the passenger's window, desperately trying to distract myself with something.

It wasn't until the hotel came into view that I got really nervous. Even looking at is enough to intimidate someone. The dark brown building was twenty-five floors high, and wrapped around the parking lot in a semi circle. At the very top of the building was a large red and orange neon sign that read HUNDRED ACRE: The Best Acre. In the middle of the lot was the beginning of a beige carpet that led the guests all the way to the front doors. And on both sides of the carpet were several large, real trees planted about ten feet apart. I can tell you from experience that it feels like you're walking through an actual forest, but it's calm and peaceful. You know, if you could ignore the massive security team waiting at every single entrance point. I couldn't imagine what he did or who he talked to in order to get that place for free.

That's when it hit me: he was taking me to a hotel and I had no idea why. What would we do in a hotel that we couldn't do at one of our houses? What did he expect from me, being alone in a lavish hotel room with him all night? Or half the night? I didn't even have a clear idea of what was going on.

Just as I was about to ask, the car passed the hotel completely. I hoped to the gods that he wasn't so nervous that he accidentally passed it up. I looked over at him, but he just kept driving, nodding his head to whatever was playing at the time. I can't even remember what the hell it was because I was so out of my mind that night.

A couple minutes later, the car slowed and pulled onto a narrow, tree-lined dirt path. If it weren't for the moon, I wouldn't have been able to see shit. The path was on the outskirts of the city and the streetlights were scarce around there. I looked over at Roxas again once the car stopped in the middle of a large, open field. I could have sworn he said Hundred Acre, not Field of No Return.

That was it for me. I was convinced that he wasn't over me punching him, and that he was only pretending to like me so I wouldn't be suspicious of him when he brought me to a dark field and murdered me. I should have just kept my mouth shut and ignored him at work. I had no one to blame but myself for my untimely end.

"You said Hundred Acre, r-right?" I asked, trying to hide my fear. But no, my stupid voice cracked and gave it all away. I quickly hid my trembling hands and tried to smile.

Roxas looked confused. "Yeah, this is it. Hundred Acre Woods…"

I could have facepalmed myself into an alternate dimension. Of fucking course we weren't going to the hotel! But to be fair, he didn't initially say woods. What was I supposed to expect, honestly?

"That makes much more sense," I laughed, calming down a bit. He chuckled and stepped out of the car, and I followed him towards the trunk. Something in the back of my head whispered at me to run, but I knew that was just my usual paranoia. "But what are we doing here?"

He pulled a large, rolled up blanket out and tucked it under his arm, then grabbed with two flashlights. I couldn't see the last thing because he had slipped it into his pocket a little too quickly.

I assumed it was candy.

Once he closed the trunk, he walked further into the field. I followed him silently and waited for an answer as he laid the blanket out and sat down, patting the empty spot next to him. I joined him on the blanket and followed his hand as he pointed upward.

It was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. Without all the lights from the city shining bright as hell, I could clearly see all the stars, and even make out a few constellations. I thought this was just something that people fell for in cheesy rom-coms, but no. It was, honest-to-gods, an amazing sight.

"Stargazing," Roxas finally answered in a husky whisper. "It's probably a really dumb date idea, but I really like the stars and the night time. It's peaceful."

I was literally star struck. No one had ever tried to take me to a place like this. The only dates I've ever been on were to the movies, fast food restaurants, and a funeral one time.

Don't ask.

"Oh wow. This is amazing, Roxas. Thank you for taking me here."

"Glad you like it," he grinned as he lied back with his arms folded behind his head. Shrugging, I did the same, allowing the sound of the breeze and the crickets to soothe the rest of my nerves. Not just that, but the smell of Roxas' cologne. It was a light, addicting smell that I had never noticed before, but was quickly taking a liking to. We were closer than I intended or expected, so it was the only smell I could really focus on.

"You smell nice," I blurted before I could stop myself. My face burst into flames right after it slipped out and I instantly started thinking of ways to end myself. "No, that's weird, I'm so sorry!"

"Relax," Roxas laughed. "I appreciate the compliment. I…suppose you smell nice too?"

I started to sniff my shirt to see if I smelled bad. I took three showers before that date and I would have been mortified if I was rank. "Is that—?"

"I mean—"

We both stopped talking and chuckled awkwardly. Roxas inhaled deeply, a small yet playful grimace on his face. "You don't smell bad. It's a little…I just…you smell like pancakes."

"Oh God!" I started moving onto my knees so I could crawl away, but his hands quickly caught my arms and stopped me.

"It's okay, it's okay! I really like pancakes."

If it weren't for that goofy smile of his, I would have run away in embarrassment. But looking at him in the dim moonlight, seeing that he was nervous and trying so hard not to be, made me lay back down. It didn't stop me from being embarrassed as all hell, but that was okay. "I promise won't smell like food next time."

Roxas shook his head. "It's fine. Kinda making me crave breakfast food right now, but you're alright."

I exhaled deeply and buried my face into what I thought was a cushion. It wasn't until it shuddered that I realized Roxas didn't bring cushions. Somehow, after laying back down, I wound up in his arms. I slowly connected the dots until I figured out that I had just breathed on his chest. I wanted to comment on it and move, but things felt less awkward this way. His arm was draped comfortably over me, but I could feel his rapid heartbeat on my temple. I found comfort in the fact that I wasn't the only one freaking out.

"Nervous?" I asked him.

"A little bit, yeah," he exhaled.

With all the courage I had, I mustered out a weak me too. Nothing was said after that, so I turned my attention back to the stars.

x.o.o.x

"Carter…"

I woke up to the sound of my last name being whispered. I mumbled something and buried my faced deeper into his chest as I wrapped my leg around his. At that point, I knew who I was with and what position we were in, but I didn't want to move. That was the most comfortable I had ever been with Roxas and I loved it. The same went for him because his heart rate had slowed to a calm and steady pace. "Were you sleeping?" he asked.

"Mm-hmm. 'M sorry. I didn't mean to fall asleep on you."

"It's fine, baby. I don't mind." Seconds later, his heart picked up speed again. "I'm sorry, I don't know why I keep—"

"No, no, it's okay. You just…call me whatever you're comfortable with," I muttered.

The comfort I once felt was rapidly disappearing, and I felt like such a dumbass for falling asleep on him. I opened my mouth to apologize, but I noticed that there was something wet coming from somewhere.

Roxas sat up, and I did the same. "It's drizzling. We should probably go before we get all wet and cold."

I was already wet. Just not cold.

...The cologne really got to me, okay?!

I nodded, then helped him roll the blanket back up. He carried that while I took the flashlights and shined them so we could see where we were going. We were pretty far away from his car, but it still felt too close. I didn't want to go home just yet. I knew I owed it to him to make sure that the rest of this date was memorable.

"You mind if we stay for a bit? I-I'm not really ready to go home," I asked softly.

Roxas looked back at me with the most adorable look of confusion. "Really…? I thought you were bored to death of me."

"No! I was just really comfortable. Excuse my narcoleptic tendencies," I laughed. Surprisingly, so did he. Feeling a bit better, I gave him the flashlights and convinced him to climb into the back seat with me. He turned the car on for the radio and the heat and we just relaxed in the back seat.

"Why'd you do this with me?" I suddenly heard. When I looked over to Roxas, he was looking at me with that same glazed look he gave me when we made it out of the elevator. The nervousness was still there, but it was hiding behind an emotion that I couldn't quite name. In hindsight, I realize it was happiness, if not contentedness.

I also registered the question really late. My heart was pounding so hard that I could hear it echo in my ears like a bass drum. "Huh?"

"I mean why did you agree to come on this date with me? What made you say yes to this? And the dinner?"

I gulped, not really knowing what to say. I knew why I had gone out with him both times, but I couldn't find the courage to say how I really felt. I went out with him because something clicked after that elevator incident—after that kiss. I was hooked from the start, and had already fallen in love with the idea of being with him. Just the thought of him brought a smile to my face, nervous or not, and I wanted everything to do with him.

Instead, I said something like: "I'm really interested to see where this goes. I do like you, Roxas. I like eating with you and stargazing and just listening to music in the back of your car," I laughed softly, but only when he started chuckling. "I'm so serious. Why are you laughing?"

He shook his head, then ran a hand through his hair. "Here I am thinking that you're just doing this as some kind of pity date—"

"No, I would never do that. I've been taken on a pity date before and it makes you feel like total shit afterwards," I admitted, relaxing significantly. Even still, I was choosing my words very carefully to make sure I didn't say the wrong thing. I was sure he was doing the same. I have seen Roxas relaxed before and he was nowhere near that point that night.

"Especially when they ask to stay friends after it's over," he added.

"Yes! Or, worst of all, the ones who just leave you hanging without a word of explanation, never call or text, and then they disappear off the face of the earth."

"No, the worst are the ones who do that, but then come back after a couple months of absolutely no contact to ask what happened to us?"

My eyes widened. "That's happened to you before?"

He nodded with an affirmative hum. "Several times. I have a bad habit of rushing things when I'm excited...and the people I've encountered in the past have been, in all honesty, far below what my current standards are," he grinned shyly. "Imagine rushing it with a loser that's no good for you. Embarrassing."

Yeah, I totally understood his point. And maybe that's what he wasn't used to. He was purposely trying to take it slow with me so that I was comfortable. That's when I got curious. I knew it was a risky question before I opened my mouth, but I had to know. "So…do I meet your standards?"

Though I was sure neither of us could see very well, he looked at me and said, "Yeah, you do. You can handle your own, you've got a colorful personality when you're not nervous, you're funny without even trying to be and...you really know how to make me want you."

And…

Well…

Oh boy.

Please don't judge me for what I'm about to tell you. I wasn't in my right mind and…actually, I don't think I have a right mind. Whatever then. Carry on.

The word want stirred something inside of me. It turned my brain to mush, knotted up my stomach, and made me feel restless. I needed something to do before I drove myself insane. My mouth decided to disobey my orders to keep itself shut. "You want me?"

Without a single stutter, falter, or pause, he answered, "Yes." Which only made my situation worse. Hearing him confirm that was like crack to me. I was fucking itching for some kind of stimulation and it was incessant. The needto get closer to him and touch him in any way I could was overwhelming.

"You want me?" I asked again. And though it was the same question, it had an entirely different meaning to it. Thankfully, he picked up on it immediately.

"Yes," Roxas answered in a much softer, yet authoritative tone. It was so satisfying to hear. I could have had him talk to me like that every day for the rest of my life with no problems. "And I should assume the same for you, yeah? The way you're looking at me now is different. Makes me want to…"

He bit his lip shortly after trailing off. I still don't know if he was ever going to finish that sentence or not because I never gave him a chance to. I quickly crawled towards him and pressed my lips to his. Roxas' back hit the door as I straddled him, but I do t think he cared at all. He was just as out of it as I was. In fact, he didn't even hesitate to kiss me back or pill me into his lap.

The kiss was far from bad. It actually soothed all of my nerves. I felt like I was drunk and steadily becoming more so. My legs were jelly, the car was quickly heating itself up, and certain articles of undergarments were getting ruined. And if that wasn't enough to drive me completely insane, I was constantly aware of what his hands were doing at all times. They moved from my waist down to my hips, to my thighs, and back up to my lower back. It was absolutely thrilling, but also confusing and frightening. I wasn't supposed to like that that much, right? Or was I?

Some time passed by, but we didn't immediately separate. Roxas, instead, latched his mouth onto my neck and eased me onto my back. A chill ran down my spine as I wrapped my legs around his waist. You would not believe how long it had been since a man had made me feel like that. A part of me was glad that said man was Roxas. There was just something about him—despite the awkwardness, despite what happened in the past, despite everything—that made it impossible to stay away from him. Feeling that so early on was freaky, and yet…satisfying.

I couldn't detect a shred of awkwardness from him. The Roxas that was on top of me in that moment was a completely different man than the one I had been stargazing with. He was confident, and by the way he touched me, experienced. I felt myself slowly losing touch with reality and my morals. Everything I stood for as a self-respecting woman began to matter less and less and I didn't fucking care. I found myself hoping that the thing he'd shoved into his pocket earlier was a condom.

"Wait, wait, wait…" I blurted out of nowhere. I didn't know why I stopped him, but I did. To my surprise, Roxas immediately detached himself from my neck and pulled away to look at me. His eyes were so full of worry, but he didn't say anything. That was when I started to return to my right mind. Although the back seat of his car was incredibly roomy and comfortable, I did not want to have sex there, or even that night. I would've hated myself the next day if I did.

When I didn't speak, Roxas said something in Japanese. I could tell it was a question. I opened my mouth to tell him I couldn't understand, but he rolled his eyes (I later found out that he was irritated with himself, not me) and said: "Did I do something wrong?"

My heart almost broke. He looked like a child that just tried to do something for his mom, but got brutally shut down. I tried to smile, but even I knew it was strained. "No, not you. I didn't really want to…"

His eyes widened as he started rambling a mile a minute. "I'm so sorry. That's not what I was trying to do, I'm not that kind of guy—"

"And I didn't peg you as the type. I started it, but I would just like things to stay this way."

Roxas slowly nodded. "I can do that. Just excuse my hands if they—"

"It's not a problem," I laughed. "I'll tell you if I'm uncomfortable with something you do."

Again, he nodded and eased back into his original position. I had no problem falling back into it again and neither did he. After a couple of minutes, I understood why he felt the need to apologize for his hands. They were a lot more adventurous the second time around. Because of this, I went into mush brain mode a lot faster than.

I remember spasming like a freaking idiot when I felt his warm hands touch the skin of my stomach and back. When I tell you I felt like a teenage girl all over again, I'm not exaggerating at all. My face and neck were on fire and with each kiss he placed on my collar bone, I felt like I was gonna die. Happily, I have to say.

And then I had to go and fuck everything up by saying his name.

He quickly pulled away from me, forehead touching my collar. "I uh..." His voice was shaky and weak, like he was either afraid or in pain. "Maybe we shouldn't continue this. I don't trust myself to hold back right now and I respect you too much to do this now."

Slowly and awkwardly, the two of us detangled ourselves from one another and sat up, avoiding the other's eye and just listening to the rain hit the car. The radio was still playing some car insurance commercial, but I ignored it. Roxas and I just sat there, inching closer and closer to one another until we were back in each others arms. Neither of us said anything until the rain stopped.

And that's basically what happened. Roxas took me home, telling me multiple times that he enjoyed himself, and kissed me before I left the car. I'm surprised he even wanted to see me again after that. But hey, it all led to something truly amazing.

Oh, and the thing he had shoved into his pocket was indeed candy and he ate it while I was asleep. I'm not totally stupid, guys.