Author Note: Thanks for the great response to the last chapter! Several of you had guessed that it might be a green card marriage.

Teasers for guessing the chapter title from Culture Club go to: 2loveybunnies, Midnight Cougar, alison actually, Faerywren, sherylb, dawnhybb, TrulyOutrageous, and astonmartin823. I also gave the teaser to several others who got the artist but not the right song. I guess this wasn't their most memorable hit!

Thanks again to moosals for pre-reading. Stephenie Meyer owns all characters.

Chapter 9 – Time (Clock of the Heart)

"Bella!" he cries, putting his hand on my arm before I can take a step. "Please, sit back down."

As upset as I am, that pair of pleading green eyes is enough to make me want to hear him out. "I'm gonna get a refill," I announce, picking up my nearly empty cup. At least the brief walk will give me a chance to take a deep breath and steady my nerves. I will not cry in front of him.

"Thank you," he says quietly once I've sat back down. "And you're right… I was wrong to have ever thought that the truth wouldn't matter to you."

"Why did you hide your marriage to her from everyone?" I ask.

"I never hid my marriage," he swears, shaking his head. "My first year at Lincoln Park, I went to a number of school activities. I thought it was more or less required of me. Tanya and I were trying to make it then, and I brought her along with me whenever I could. Once I realized I didn't have to attend so many activities, I mostly stopped going because high school events didn't interest me. I'd still show up and bring Tanya occasionally because we had to put in appearances together."

"But you chaperoned the homecoming dance."

He smiles. "Last minute favor for another teacher who had to stay home with a sick child. Other than talking to you, I hated every minute of it.

"And that fateful football game…" He shakes his head. "I'd wanted to tell you about Tanya that afternoon in Lincoln Park, but you had to leave. It wasn't something I thought I could discuss via text message, but I planned to tell you in person at the first opportunity.

"When you said you were busy that Friday night, Tanya had no plans either and suggested we do something together. I knew it was the last home game of the season, so we decided to attend the game. I'd been to a handful of games over the years and never seen you, so I never expected to run into you. I never wanted you to learn the truth that way."

"I usually didn't go to games," I admit. "But my friends kinda dragged me along to support the guys since like you said, it was the last home game."

"Fate can be funny like that sometimes." He smiles ruefully. "I made so many mistakes with you, Bella. I never should've acted on my attraction to you in the first place. I was still your teacher, and you were still my student, even if you were of legal age."

He stares intently into my eyes as he speaks, and I finally have to look away. I know that what he's saying is true and that teacher-student relationships are strictly forbidden, but I never thought of what we did as being wrong. At least until he introduced Tanya.

"I shouldn't have gotten involved with you in the first place, but given that I made that choice, I should have behaved differently. I shouldn't have underestimated your feelings for me. We should've moved so much more slowly and gotten to know each other before things turned physical. I should've told you about Tanya and never assumed that you'd already heard about her through the grapevine, or that it didn't matter anyway. I should've made you listen to me before you ran away and had to spend your last semester of high school away from the friends you'd had for years," he growls.

"No! I… I mean, yeah, I ran away, but… it was for the best. I met Alice and Jake, who are wonderful. Alice is so ambitious, she wants to go into politics and she believes in helping others. We did two Habitat for Humanity trips this past summer and they were amazing. I feel like I've grown so much as a person over the last several months. I did miss my friends in Chicago," I admit, "but don't feel like I haven't had a great life since I left. I'm where I'm supposed to be."

"Thank you for saying that," he says with a small smile.

"C-Can I ask you something else?" I ask hesitantly.

"Of course."

"Did you… meet anyone else after I left?"

"No, Bella. No one has caught my eye since you walked out of my life. I'll… be honest with you. Before I moved here, I did have sex with Tanya again. For old times' sake, I guess," he shrugs. "A goodbye to the best friend a guy could ask for."

I can't deny that it stings a bit to hear that. "Are you sorry it didn't work out between you two?" I whisper.

"No, I'm not. If it was meant to be, then… it would've worked between us. I couldn't make myself love her that way and neither could she. I'm just glad it didn't ruin our friendship."

I swallow thickly. "Does Tanya know about us?"

"No," he answers. "I mean, she might've suspected something, but I never told her. And if Tanya ever met anyone else, she never told me about them," he adds.

"So… now you're just waiting until you think it won't seem suspicious before filing for divorce?"

He nods. "That's the plan. Maybe next summer, if I'm still here."

"You think there's a chance you won't be?" I ask, kicking myself for the slight panic I feel.

"I'm still technically only filling in for Dr. Maltby. Time will tell if he ever comes back, or if the school will be able keep me on in that case. They told me there was a good chance, but they couldn't guarantee it."

"But you jumped at the chance to take the job."

"I did," he smiles. "It had been my dream for a long time to get my PhD and teach at a university. No offense, but high school students drive me insane. You were a bright light among all of the crap."

"If-if you worked so hard for your PhD, why did you introduce yourself to us as Professor Cullen?" I ask curiously.

"Dr. Cullen is my father. I can't get in the habit," he laughs.

"Your father is a medical doctor?"

He nods. "That's a story for another day though. Is there anything else you want to know?"

"I—you dumped a lot on me. I think… I just need time to absorb everything."

"Ok," he says quietly. "Just let me be clear that… today was for you, not for me. I hope you can find some peace with what happened between us. I'm not expecting you to forgive me and want to pick up where we left off."

My eyes widen. "Is that what you want?"

In response, Edward reaches out, taking my left hand in his. He lightly brushes his thumb over the back of my hand, and I feel goosebumps erupt all over my body.

"When I found out that you had left Chicago, I… I never expected to see you again. It hit me pretty hard, and I couldn't even talk about it with anyone. I felt awful that I'd caused you to leave. I hadn't been able to imagine you wanting more than a fantasy with someone so much older than you, but once I found out that you did… I was really looking forward to getting to know you better.

"Finding you again, it feels like fate. I usually don't believe in shit like that, but…" he trails off, shrugging. "So yes, Bella, I would gladly resume our relationship if you could find it in your heart to forgive me and give me another chance."

I inhale sharply. He still wants me. This beautiful, flawed man still wants me.

"I-I don't know what I want," I caution him.

"You know where to find me if you figure it out."

I give him a small smile, pulling my hand out of his. "I'd better get home before Alice and Jake send out a search party."

Edward nods, returning my smile, and I stand. After tossing my empty cup in the trash, I head out to my car, my head still spinning a little.

I'm on the interstate when my phone dings with a text message. I leave it until I exit and sit waiting for the light.

"Fuck," I curse when I see the message from my mom asking where I want to go for dinner. I'd totally forgotten that we were doing my birthday dinner tonight, since Phil was out of town on business last weekend.

Once I've parked at my apartment complex, I text her back with a suggestion that seems central for all of us. At least I've got an hour or so to myself where I can think before I have to leave.

My hopes are dashed when I find Alice already at home, practically bouncing off the walls about a guy she met on campus today. And so I push my conversation with Edward to the back of my mind and do my part as her best friend.

It's hours later as I crawl into bed that I finally get a moment to myself. I lie there staring at the ceiling and reflect on my day.

Nothing could have prepared me for what Edward told me this afternoon. As much as I don't want to give him the satisfaction of being right, it does make a difference to me that he and Tanya are married in name only.

But holy shit, what a thing to do for his friend! He may not think of it as putting his life on hold, but that's exactly what he did. And I'm pretty sure a fake marriage for a green card is illegal. Maybe not to the extent of actually going to jail, but still. He risked a lot to help out a friend, and only a truly good person would do that.

Despite the fact that he was my high school teacher, I still find it difficult to think of what we did as wrong. We were attracted to each other and we acted on it. That wouldn't have been considered wrong if he'd been almost anyone else. I definitely don't believe he used his position to talk me into anything I didn't want to do. I wanted everything we did together. I'd been fantasizing about him for weeks before he ever laid a finger on me.

And he still wants me. I was surprised when he admitted as much. If I'm being honest with myself, I still want him physically. I can't stop the shiver that runs through me every time he touches me.

Edward made a mistake — a big mistake — in not making sure that I was aware of his situation before anything happened between us. I'm still angry about that, even if I can sort of understand what he was thinking.

But I don't know if I can get past it and give him a second chance.

I guess I'm not surprised when Edward goes back to his usual behavior the following week, treating me like any other student in the classroom. I'm glad he's not pushing me. He said his piece and now it's up to me to decide what I want to do about it. I could do nothing and just try to make it through the rest of the semester in his class, or I could take the leap and forgive him and… see where that leads us.

Two weeks after our talk, I still haven't made a decision. I'm not really in a rush. If I wait too long and he meets someone else, then… I guess it just wasn't meant to be.

I walk into Professor Cullen's classroom on Friday just wanting to get to the weekend. Alice, Jake and I are going to Fright Fest at Six Flags tonight since the temperature is only supposed to drop into the 70s. We likely won't get another nice weekend like this before Halloween. It'll also be the first time for Jake and me to meet Jasper, the junior History major Alice met in The Nosh two weeks ago. They went out to dinner and a movie last weekend and she's already proclaimed him the man she's going to marry.

If only things could be that easy for me.

My jaw nearly falls to the floor when Edward walks in wearing those same fucking blue pants. So much for not pushing me. I try really hard not to give him the satisfaction of even looking, but I can't help sneaking a few peeks.

Ugh. How can just the sight of him in a pair of ordinary blue pants make me want to rip all of my clothes off and plead with him to make me his? It's sort of disgusting how easily he can turn me into this desperate woman.

Once class is dismissed for the day, I rush out of the room before I can do anything stupid, like asking him to meet me in the backseat of a car. Any car.

Even lunch at The Nosh doesn't cool my ardor. Without thinking, I order a basket of chicken strips, but as I take a bite out of them, all I can do is picture my teacher's private parts. Even if the strips are only half his size.

Goddammit, I'm still angry with him — even more so for tempting me with those pants today — but I still want him. There's absolutely no denying it anymore. And I can have him, if only I'm willing to take that leap.

I spend the next 10 minutes arguing with myself in my head. Or maybe it's out loud sometimes, who the heck knows. As I walk out of the cafeteria, I still don't know what I'm going to do.

Until I find myself walking back toward the College of Arts & Sciences building.

A/N: So after hearing Edward's story, Bella took some time to think about what he said. There was some softening toward Edward in the last chapter, but many of you are still mad at him. His stock has gone up for Bella at least because of what he did for his friend.

Next update on Thursday. Is she going to get her man back or punch him in the… face?

For a teaser: The biggest hit from a Southern rock band. Bella said the title (in her thoughts) during this chapter.

Thanks to everyone who helped vote "Lonely in Your Nightmare" as the #1 fic completed in January 2018 on TwiFanfictionRecs! Moosals has a one-shot called "Bat-Zoned" that's up for the February title.