Opportunities

My heart hammered softly in my chest like a chisel, patiently trying to crack down the walls of my heart one beat at a time. I licked my dry lips and played with the fabric of my gloves, worn from years of use. My foot tapped on its own in nervous expectation, synchronizing with the steady rhythm of my heartbeat. I cleared my throat and swallowed, my tongue dragging along my teeth as I did so.

This was a lot harder than I had first anticipated.

He was surrounded by our friends, chatting casually about how we, or should I say he, just defeated Eggman once again. Knuckles and Tails stood with their backs facing me in front of him, though every once in a while I could catch a glance at his grinning face, his eyebrows high with cocky attitude. I, on the other hand, stood at least a couple of feet away from them, a frown pulling on my lips.

Why was it still so awkward?

My shoulders deflated and it felt as if my body would collapse on itself from all the strain. I chewed the inside of my cheek raw and consumed the words I had so desperately wanted to say for the last three weeks. Every time I had seen him there had been ample opportunities to do so, but each time my lips would sew themselves shut and I could only shout the words in my mind, which did no good because Sonic was not a mind reader.

If I had somehow managed an attempt of forming any coherent syllables which resembled words, he would stare at me with those cool green eyes with his lips pursed in discomfort. His shoulders would tense as if he were preparing to flee at a moment's notice. The very thought of this burned my eyes as I blinked back tears.

I was trying. I really was. If only he knew how damn hard I was trying not to be obsessive and overbearing. I tried giving him space. I tried to hang back on missions or just skip them completely, giving him some alone time. I tried not to hug him in public or gush about him as much. I cringed inwardly. When had I pushed him away? When would he realize I was trying to be a better friend, because I knew he could never feel the same way about me as I did for him?

When would he realize? When would the results show?

Air seeped through my lungs and then out of my mouth slowly in an attempt to calm my nerves. I never used to be nervous talking to him. Now the very thought of talking to him left me tongue-tied and breathless.

I stepped closer to them just as a roar of laughter thundered in my ear drums. I cleared my throat once more before saying, "Sonic?"

The noise stopped abruptly, and three pairs of eyes locked onto me. I swallowed thickly but the air turned to sand and I choked on my own words. It was only when I dared to look them back in the eyes that I realized something. They had completely forgotten I was there. They looked surprised, startled even. Knuckles' lips turned wide in a smirk, like he knew exactly what was going to come out of my mouth. Tails wore that expression that just showed how much he pitied me.

Sonic bounced lightly on the balls of his feet, as if he were ready to bound away at a single given moment. His one eyebrow was slightly raised, like he was questioning me on what new silly statement would come out of my mouth this time. His lips were in a tight line, rigid.

A laugh bubbled out of my mouth, small and light, because it was the only thing I could think of doing to stop the tears that threatened to fall from the corners of my eyes. When did they stop taking me seriously? When had I become this sort of person? When did I become so forgettable?

The words I had wanted so eagerly to say vanished at the back of my mind, put away for another time and place. Instead, I said, "I just wanted to say you did a good job today. Thanks for having me along." Before I could see their reactions, I turned and walked away. The tears finally succumbed to gravity and fell upon the earth.

Another wasted opportunity gone by.

First, I would like to apologize because I had said previously that the chapter 33% would be next. I had gotten the order mixed up and so 33% will be the next chapter, for real this time!

Second, I had no idea what to write for this chapter and this came tumbling out. I am actually quite proud of this. That being said, I am currently sick so there may be a couple of mistakes I did not catch.

Also, 10 chapters down, 90 to go! :) Thank you for reading!