"I'm not leaving."
"He doesn't want you here –"
"He's unconscious." Jack snapped. He closed his eyes and took a slow deep breath then opened them and faced her square on.
"If you were me would you leave?" He asked while searching her face.
She started to speak and he cut her off.
"Don't lie to me Gwen."
"Yes Jack, I would, I have and you know that."
"It's not just his decision –"
"Why not? Because you love him?"
"Because reality itself was twisted to bring him back."
"And what, exactly, does that have to do with you Jack?"
"Because I know the consequences of screwing with the laws of reality." He took a deep breath and ran a hand over his face.
"The miracle?" Gwen prompted.
"My immortality, until Rex I didn't think it could happen to anyone else, I didn't think anything like this could happen – the power and circumstances needed, there was no reason they would ever converge and then Rex and now Ianto – there is always a price to pay for screwing with reality."
"So what Jack? You're going to pay it for him?" Gwen asked softly.
"I have to try." He said.
Ianto opened his eyes and tried to figure out where he was. The ceiling was plain, smooth, white. He tried to sit up and fire rocketed through his arm and shoulder.
"Hey take it easy you've got stitches and an infection in that arm." Jade chided.
"You?" He asked hoarsely.
"Here." She said helping him sit up and holding a glass of water to his lips. He drank greedily not minding as he spilled it. He was bare chested but too thirsty to care.
"Easy there's plenty more where that came from." She soothed. He drank another full glass before he tried to talk. She was filling the glass a third time from the small bathroom in the room when Gwen returned.
"Look at you getting captured and shot and everything." She teased.
"Old times." He said faintly and smiled.
"Here, he'll need more between the blood loss and the fever." Jade said handing the third glass to Gwen. Gwen accepted it and set it on the nightstand as she sat on the edge of Ianto's bed.
"You're a medic?" Ianto asked.
"More or less. We all have some training." She said with a smile.
"How…how did you get out of Torchwood?"
Jade looked troubled, dropped her eyes from Gwen and stared at her hands. "A friend of mine, he was a good man, good at his job. But he…he always pushed, always asked questions."
"The voice?" Ianto asked.
"Y-yes. He … he didn't trust Brentwood, thought her plan was too risky."
"Smart man." Gwen muttered. Jade glanced up at her then slowly walked to a small table near the only window in the room and at in a straight-backed chair. She rested her elbows on her knees and continued talking.
"He was in the communications room, I don't know how, he didn't have clearance for that kind of access. He was trying to stop Brentwood by getting you out."
"He's dead isn't he?" Ianto asked thinking back to the hurried end of their conversation.
"Yes. He was …discovered."
Ianto watched her as she spoke and thought about the timing of that final conversation.
Jade cleared her throat. "He was my friend and in the last few weeks I … couldn't shake off his warnings. Then you showed up." She sighed and spared a half smile for Ianto.
"Ianto and your friend convinced you to betray Torchwood?" Gwen asked.
She perked up slightly, "No, they convinced me to betray something masquerading as Torchwood. I read the surviving files from the hub and third party reports of Torchwood activity. My niece was taken over by the 456, I lived through Miracle Day and the Crash, I know what you've done with little more than pocket change and bolt cutters. I thought…I thought when I joined that I was joining your Torchwood. But you had all fucked off elsewhere so … I made the best of it. Kept my head down, worked hard… Then I met Geraint and Ianto was brought in."
Ianto had been watching her, eyes have lidded with exhaustion and the sweet tug of painkillers and fever. "How did he die?"
"I told you –"
"Was it you?" Ianto asked.
She went very still and studied her hands for a long moment. "He didn't have clearance for the comms room. I was ordered to check the room when the CC TV went down. When I got there I realized what he was doing. I faked a radio failure to buy time. He…he knew he had crossed a line and I couldn't fix it. I had in the past you see, I'd covered for him when I could but this was too big..."
She took a deep breath. "He was going to do it himself but…he's religious, I know that. I couldn't let him so I…I shot him." She choked out her final words. Gwen knelt next to her and took her hand but stayed silent.
Jack entered and cast a glance around the room, he seemed to swallow whatever cheerful announcement he had planned to greet them with and settled for unloading the two cloth grocery bags he had brought into the room with him.
Gwen released Jade's hand and lead Jack back outside to talk.
"Is she stable?"
"All things considered, yeah, for now. I imagine she'll fall to little broken pieces once the pressure is off."
"So let's keep it on we need her."
"Is that really –"
"Necessary? You tell me."
Gwen bit her lip then cursed under her breath, "Okay okay, keep the pressure on." She sighed.
"It's not like we have a choice anyway." Jack said gently.
"You need to talk to Ianto, sort things out or he'll go haring off again."
"What about you?"
"We need more intel."
"Great you take Jade and I'll talk to Ianto." Jack said with his usual manic cheer.
Ianto seemed to be sleeping when they returned. Jade was still curled up in the straight-backed chair now she was looking out the only other window down on a retention pond behind the motel.
"Ah look we can't possibly do anything before morning, Jade why don't you get some sleep?" Gwen suggested.
"Can't, I took a stim, I'll be up for twenty-four hours at least. It's okay he'll need watching." Jade nodded toward Ianto.
"Right, well, Jack doesn't sleep so that leaves me."
"Better get your head down while you can." Jack chimed in. Gwen spared him a withering look. He grinned.
Ianto woke an hour later. Jade had gone to check in with Torchwood. S
"You're not worried she'll betray you?" Ianto asked hoarsely shortly after Jade left.
"It doesn't matter, we need intel and she's our only source. We'll be careful." Jack said gently and rested his knuckles on Ianto's forehead feeling his temperature.
"Fever broke." Ianto said and carefully sat up. Jack got him water and helped him drink.
"I'm not leaving Ianto." Jack said quietly and sat on the edge of the bed.
Ianto ignored him, watched Gwen sleep for a few moments before replying. "Did you ever watch me sleep?"
"All the time." Jack said and reached to touch Ianto's face. Ianto let him, leaned into Jack's palm.
"I'm going to die Jack. Reality was twisted and torn and it's still not enough. One day, today, tomorrow, sixty years from now my heart will stop and I will die." He said staring at Jack.
"No, maybe not I mean Rex –"
"You met a version of me that was immortal like you. Would you damn me to that?"
"I can't lose you again." Jack hissed tears in his eyes and kissed Ianto.
Ianto melted into the kiss, almost hating himself for it, then pulled away. Jack stayed in place staring into Ianto's impossibly blue eyes.
"Jack-"
"We have a second chance –"
"We have a war to stop. Or start." Ianto said putting a hand on Jack's chest and slowly pushing him back.
"Start?"
Ianto studied Jack then shook his head and tried to get out of the bed. Jack helped him stand.
"That needs to be changed." Jack said nodding toward Ianto's bandage. Ianto sat quietly at the edge of the bed while Jack changed his bandage. The wound was no longer pink, hot to the touch, and oozing.
"She must have given you next generation antibiotics."
"Well she did steal her supplies from Torchwood." Ianto said with a smile. He ached for Jack's touch, the solace of his embrace, his lips and hands – he closed his eyes and took a slow deep breath. Jack waited, hand on Ianto's shoulder.
"Jack, I love you. But you're like a drug, you take over all my instincts, poison my thinking, I must do what I do for all not for me. I can't be selfish Jack and love is the rawest form of selfishness. I cannot have you –"
"I am not leaving you. I owe you more than that."
"Will you listen? Just once Jack! Listen to me. I cannot do what I must do if you are with me. I love you too much you will twist my reality until all I see, all I touch…smell…is you." Ianto gently touched Jack's trembling jaw then let his hand drop. "This is too important."
"Fuck the greater good! The greater good means slaughtering children and sacrificing innocent people Ianto! At some point it has to to be enough."
"No Jack, that's the point, it never is, there will always be choices and the greater good –
"No, lives are not mathematical equations. I know that Ianto I killed my grandson for the calculus of the greater good! The three families inflicted the Miracle on all of humanity for their version of the greater good! The greater good is just a sliding scale dictated by the people in power at the time –"
"Which is me! Jack I have to do this, I was born to do this."
"Because some inter-dimensional assassin tells you to?"
"Leave me Jack or I will be forced to leave you. I don't know if I have the strength to do that twice."
"Ianto…Ianto…" Jack whispered and pulled his lover close. "I can't let you go Ianto…I can't…not again…not again."
Ianto resisted for a long moment then melted against Jack's broad chest, buried his face in his neck, inhaled that familiar rich 51st century scent, and felt tears of relief flood his eyes so he closed them and turned his back on the future.