I don't own South Park - it's owned by the very talented Trey Parker and Matt Stone.

The Contest

by cell12

Chapter 10

"Kahl we should do something today, as a couple, so that everyone can see we're together," Eric informed Kyle - while putting away his third chocolate-syrup coated waffle.

Kyle found the way Cartman ate fascinating - he always had. There was something about the determined assault the fat boy made on any food that Kyle couldn't help but watch. It wasn't that Eric ate quickly or in an unusual way - it was that he seemed relentless. Kyle could imagine the Fat-ass eating continuously for hours if food kept being placed in front of him.

Cartman stood up - wiping his mouth on the napkin his mother had set aside for him. He turned to face her and said, "Me and Kahl are going out."

Kyle blinked - apparently Cartman had taken his silence for agreement. He felt himself being ushered towards the door, "Where are we going?" He asked.

"We're going to the mall to get you something half-decent to wear."

Kyle stopped and looked up to the Fat-ass, "Why?"

Cartman exaggeratedly eyed Kyle up and down, "Kahl you look like your mother chooses your clothes."

Kyle looked down at his feet and gripped the hem of his jacket.

"She does," Cartman exclaimed, "your mom has you so whipped that you can't even wear what you want."

"Shut up Fat-ass," Kyle automatically responded.

They were now seated in Cartman's car - his pride and joy. When Cartman had first shown up at school in it he had, as usual, rubbed everyone's nose in how kewl it was. Until, that is, Kyle had pointed out that Eric's mom had worked her ass off to pay for it - literally.

"Now normally Kahl, I would take great delight in ripping on you about this," Cartman looked across at Kyle's pissed-off face, "but since you're being my boyfriend, how you look reflects on me."

Outwardly Kyle seethed but deep inside he knew that Cartman had a point. It was just easier to wear what his mom wanted rather than fight her for the right to choose his own clothes. The only item he wore, which was his choice, was his hat. According to his parents he had seen one, when he was a toddler, and had grabbed it off the display - crying until his parents gave in and had bought it for him. He'd had numerous replacements over the years as they wore out and his head grew. It was possible that the reason he was so attached to his silly hat - as Cartman always called it - was because it was the only item of clothing he wore that really felt like his.

Cartman pulled into the parking space and quickly jumped out of the car, "C'mon Kahl," he said, "we've got a lot of shopping to do."

Kyle swallowed, "I don't have any money," this was true - Kyle never counted the emergency twenty he had sewn into his hat.

Cartman reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a credit card, "Don't worry Kahl, I've got it covered. You can pay me back double when we win the contest."

Kyle didn't like to ask what would happen if they didn't win the contest.

As he was lead into the mall, Kyle started to feel a little bewildered. He wasn't someone who spent a lot of time hanging out here. He knew where his shops were - the ones he used, like the book shops and the Jewish butchers - and he knew the basic lay-out, but he had never been interested in the rest.

"We better start with your hair-cut," Cartman said as he pulled Kyle along, his hand clamped around his pretend boyfriends.

"Hair-cut," Kyle repeated rather stupidly.

Cartman stopped for a second, "Kahl are you going to fight me about this? I'm not trying to make you look stupid, just the opposite actually. Trust me on this, with the right look, people will be fooled into thinking that you're kewl."

"I am cool," Kyle insisted.

Cartman sighed, "No Kahl, you're not. At best you could be described as the geeky kid who dresses like he doesn't give a shit about what he looks like."

"I don't get called names at school," Kyle had barely noticed that Cartman had started leading him again through the mall.

"There are two reasons for that Kahl," Cartman informed him, "one, you're a nice person who's open and kind and always wants to help anyone in need. And two, Stan and the football team would pound the shit out of anyone who even thought about hurting you."

"That hasn't stopped you insulting me over the years."

"Maybe, but ah'm a special case. Stan's my friend as well and he knows that I insult everyone - it's just part of who I am."

They stopped outside a hair salon and Cartman wrapped an arm around Kyle's shoulder as he guided him inside, "After this is over you'll thank me Kahl."