This is an extra update to show you that I am really serious about finishing this story :)
I made a light change in chapter 8. It is the night Rose had her friends over and I removed Christian from that part because it wouldn't fit with the next couple of chapters.
Loved the reviews that you wrote :) And I promise to not make a sad angsty story out of it. Just have to write some thing out before it can be happy and everything.
I went to my own apartment and crashed down onto the bed. The thoughts about that night had kept me awake for a long time. When I woke up again that morning I had hoped to have some text from Rose but instead I had one from Lissa. She told me that Rose would be spending the weekend with her and she would drop her off at home before Sunday night dinner.
That left me with a long two days alone, thinking about Rose and our fight. I decided I would be better if I didn't spend all this time alone. Getting into my car I drove towards Ivan. He appeared to have been asleep when I rang his bell.
'You have to stop fighting with this girl Dimitri. Give her some breathing room. And me some sleep.', he says as he hands me a mug of coffee. He sits down next to me on the couch.
'I want to stop fighting Ivan. But I don't want to be partying every night. I want to be able to just sit on the couch with this girl and just talk.', I tell him, dragging a hand through my hair.
'Then tell her this instead of telling her you want children. The girl is twenty-two. She married you after one date. Just give her some room to get adjusted to you. Because Dimka you can be a lot. Especially when you get in these kinds of moods.', he says. The thing about Ivan is that he won't be saying things just to make you feel better. He will get you the harsh truth.
'I have these kinds of moods?', I ask him, eyebrows raised. He nods eagerly.
'The moods where you get all like I am nearly turning thirty. I should get a house, a wife and a baby.', he says and I wince. It was exactly what I thought yesterday.
'So, it is all my fault then?', I ask him. He shakes his head at this.
'Of course not. It takes two to have a fight. She is just as guilty as you are. She overreacted and needs to learn how to deal with you when you get that way. Put you back in your place.', he says with a grin before turning serious again. 'But if you have second thoughts about it you can always divorce her Dimka. That is not the end of the world.'
I sigh deeply and we both keep quiet for a bit just sipping our coffee. I keep hearing that lot lately. That I could always divorce her when it doesn't work out. Not only from Ivan but also from some other coworkers at the university. But I let myself remember the words Karo told me. She does believe in it. Even more than I do.
'I don't want to divorce her.', I tell Ivan being so sure about my words. If there is something I want in this life then it is to have beautiful Roza as my wife.
'Then you have your answer. Go to pick her up. Demand she comes home with you and work it out.', Ivan says. I have always wondered what it would be if Ivan finally got himself settled down with a girl. Not that I see that happening any time soon.
'I'm not going to pick her up. I'm going to the cabin.', I tell Ivan. There is one thing I am not telling him because I am not ready to admit it just yet. Something I have been keeping to myself for a while now.
'You are going to sulk at that place again, right? Feeling so sorry about yourself.', he says, a bitter tone in his voice. 'It is fucking November man. It is freezing out there. You can't keep running there every time things won't go the way you want it.'.
'What's this?', I ask Ivan with a lingering question in my eyes. Even when he tells me the harsh truth most of the time he doesn't let it go this far. This bitter tone is not something for my happy best friend.
'Dimka. I care about you. I love you man. You are like a big brother but I hate these moods you get in. After Tasha dumped you, you locked yourself up into that cabin for weeks. We had to send your mother to get you out of that place and now you are going back again? You say you want this marriage but I tell you if you go to that place you will get a divorce sooner than you can set that damned place on fire.', he tells me. So angry that he is shouting the last past. I feel myself wincing at his words.
'I think I should leave now.', I tell him.
'I think you should.', he confirms. It hurts me more than his words. In all those years he had never thrown me out before but I know that this time he is. I open my mouth one last time to explain to him why I want to go to that place. But instead I keep my mouth shut and leave his apartment. Not looking back at my best friend.
I have stopped on my way to the cabin at a store. With a lot of boxes in the back I make the way towards the remote cabin I once loved so much. And still I feel so much longing every now and then to go here. To sit in the quiet forest for a while. But I realize when I step outside the car, looking at the cabin, that this place doesn't offer my peace any more. Only nightmares follow me here.
I sit on the front porch and pull the letter out of my duster. It arrived only a couple of days ago and has me thinking about so much. Maybe it is the reason that I am reacting the way I do. Fighting with Roza and getting Ivan angry at me.
When I was twenty-three and finished with college I met Tasha. Well, I had seen her before. At our local high school when I was younger. Tasha had been seven years older than me and one of the most popular girls in the school.
Ivan and I had returned to this town the day after we got our degree. Ivan would become a History teacher at the university here in town. Me, well I followed Ivan back. I got my English degree but hadn't know what to do with it. Ivan had told me to become a teacher as well but it was not something I wanted back then.
That summer we had partied a lot and on one of those night we had crossed paths with Tasha and some of her friends. Ivan had immediately started to flirt with a couple of Tasha's friends but I remembered the Tasha she used to be. The hot girl she had been and the crush I had on her.
She had still been beautiful but as I learned that night. She had served the army after graduating. On some point they had been attacked and it had left scars on her face. To me it made her even more beautiful. She had fought and proudly wore the marks.
A lot of alcohol later I had finally found the nerve to tell her just that. I had been scared that she would laugh at me. But she had looked surprised at my words before she had closed the distance between the two of us and kissed me.
We quickly dived into a relationship and later that summer I moved in with her. Still not knowing what to do with my life she got all kind of jobs for me. For a couple of weeks she would get me to deliver post through the city. Biking like a mad man through the city. Other weeks she would get me a job in a local bar and I would stand there night after night serving people.
We lived our lives like that for almost two years when I finally told her that I wanted to open my own bookshop. It had started as a dream a couple of months before that and I had even started to look at places I could rent.
On my twenty-fifth birthday, she surprised me when she had gotten me a place where I could start my own bookshop. Like that she had arranged everything for me. The same way I had let her arrange my whole life since that first day she had kissed me.
It is a part of me that I am not proud of. How easily I would give the control away from my own life. For years I had been the man in our family. I had protected my mother and sisters from my father. Taken care of them and made sure that they had everything they wanted.
Maybe that was the reason I had found it so easy to let someone else for once decide something. So I wouldn't have to do it. But I had let it slip. Tasha had decided every move in my life for almost six years.
I would tell her that I longed for something and she would get it for me. The jobs, the house, the bookstore and even this cabin. In the end it all belonged to her. That my entire life belonged to her.
Even when she had broken up with me she had believed that I would be begging her to take me back again. She had wanted me to prove to her that I loved her more than anything in the world. But when she left me I had never returned to her.
I found myself so foolish when I had finally realized what I had let Tasha do to me all those years. When she had thrown me out I had been homeless and had gone to this cabin. For the first couple of nights I had drunk so much that I can't remember much of those days. After that I went through all those long six years. Going over every mistake I made.
When two weeks had passed and I had almost gotten myself to that part where I wanted to crawl back to Tasha because she had given me everything, mama had showed up. She had yelled at me. Something she had never done before in my entire life.
We had turned the small apartment above the bookstore into something I could live in. Ivan had gotten me a job at the university so I would have a little more money since a lot of the money from the bookstore still went to Tasha.
And then I had met Rose. Something in her had drawn me to her. Even when we were fighting and our marriage hadn't been smooth from the start I felt I could be myself with her.
Turning back to the letter I let the grief from losing those years and the loss I would have to go through into my heart. Tasha had sent me a letter telling me that I had until Friday to get all my stuff out of the cabin and the bookshop because she was selling both places.
She had told me years ago that the cabin and the bookstore were mine but the letter stated that both were still on her name. I guess that she had found out that I had gotten married and that this was her revenge.
That day I spent packing the things that were mine and that I wanted to keep into boxes. For a long time, I looked at the furniture. Wondering if I should pack them too so the place would be empty. Better for selling. But a small mean voice in my head told me that I should leave that problem to Tasha.
When I had finally packed all the things I wanted to take with me I locked the cabin and put the keys in the small pot next to the front door. Tasha would know that she could find it there or maybe she had her own set of keys to this place. I didn't know and for the first time I didn't care about it.
Because Tasha wants to sell the bookstore since it is hers, I started to wonder if she has some keys to the apartment above it as well. Suddenly feeling like it isn't mine anymore I drive towards Rose' apartment. There I take two boxes with me and take the elevator upstairs.
It takes me a moment of balancing the boxes with one arm and putting the keys into the lock but I finally manage it. When I set the boxes onto the table I finally notice the lights are already one. Night time has come and it is starting to get dark early in the evening.
When I turn around I finally see her. Rose is sitting on the couch, perfectly still. Her eyes are big and I can see that she has been crying. She is only wearing one of my shirts and a pair of thick fluffy socks. A part of me reacts, thinking how sexy she looks even with her eyes still red.
But her eyes are not on me. They are on the boxes behind me. A troubled look is in her eyes when she is finally looking at me.
'Are you leaving me?', she asks. Her voice trembling. I want to ask her why she is even thinking that but then it clicks. The boxes. She thinks I'm only here to pack some of my stuff I have brought over to her apartment. In a couple of steps I have crossed the distance between the table and the couch she is sitting on.
'I'm not leaving you Roza.', I tell her and I see her relax a little.
'I'm so sorry Dimitri. I have acted like a total bitch yesterday.', she says and first I want to tell her that she didn't. But well, it wasn't like she was the nicest person yesterday. Instead I don't react to it at all.
'Before… before we make it up I need to tell you something.', I tell her and swallow hard. It is harder than I thought it would be to tell her about the relationship I had with Tasha. It was hard enough to admit it to myself.
I pull the letter out of my pocket and hand it to her. She reads it in silence before she looks up at me with even more questions. I take of my duster and start to tell her everything. If I want anything in my relationship with Rose it is honesty and I guess I should start with that myself.
Maybe not what you expected from this chapter but the next will have the rest of talk between Rose and Dimitri.
How is Rose going to react when Dimitri finally tells her about Tasha? Will they finally make it up and be happy?
What do you think about Dimitri losing his cabin and his bookstore? What is he going to do now?
And two more questions where you guys could help me with :)
I want to write a thanksgiving chapter of something like that because in the story it is November and they live in America. But I am not from America myself and we don't celebrate thanksgiving. Maybe you could tell me what most families do? :)
And one last question. Should I write another lemon or not?