Chapter Ten

Sam was nervously awaiting Jack and Beth's arrival, when the door opened and Jack came in, carrying Beth in his arms. She held a few Fruit Loops in one little fist, and she was trying to shove them into her mouth all at once. Sam thought she looked adorable, like a living doll. She watched as Jack helped Beth put the cereal into her mouth, and then he wiped her lips with his fingers, trying to remove the crumbs that had been left behind, while clucking at her like a mother hen. It was sweet, but it was also very upsetting.

Daniel had explained how he had taken Beth to Jack, hoping that Jack wouldn't be able to resist her. It had worked, and Jack had turned out to be a very good father. And now that she could see them together, Sam thought Beth seemed happy, and she looked clean and well cared for too. And though a part of her felt glad that Jack had accepted responsibility for their child, another part of her felt angry that he had been given another chance to be Beth's father, when he had wanted nothing to do with her from the start. She wanted to hate him for all the time he'd had with Beth, while she hadn't been able to see her, let alone touch her. It wasn't fair!

Jack walked half way to the bed and stopped, blatantly staring at the woman who sat there. He couldn't help it. It was like looking at a stranger, albeit a gorgeous one. Sam's hair was a lot longer now, with golden locks hanging down over her shoulders. And her face looked fuller and more rested than he had ever seen her look. In fact, she was the picture of health.

"Hey," Jack finally said. His greeting sounded casual, but Sam could see the anxiety and the doubt on his face. And his eyes, which always got very dark when his emotions were the strongest, looked almost black.

"Hello, Jack. I never thought I'd see you again," she said, meaning both of them, but Jack obviously took it very personally.

"You seemed okay with that even before you disappeared," he replied spitefully, and then he wished he could take the comment back. This shouldn't be about him and how defensive he was feeling. This should be about Beth and the fact that her mother was back.

"Sorry," he said, and then he looked at Beth. The child was staring at Sam with wide eyes, while sucking on two fingers, as she sometimes did when she was feeling uneasy…like the first day he'd taken her to play at the base day care center. He had done it so that she would have other children to play with, but she had been too afraid and spent the entire time clinging to him and crying. So after an hour he had taken her home. But the next day he had tried again, and that time she had lost her fear and had made a few friends. Now he wondered what she was thinking.

"Beth, look, it's Mommy," he said as he stepped closer to the bed. Sam held out her arms, but Beth turned around and clung to Jack, her sticky little hands gripping his shirt with a strength that surprised him, as she pitifully whimpered, "No!" "It's okay, sweetheart," Jack said softly, as he patted her back soothingly.

Sam dropped her arms. She felt like her heart was going to break in two. This was the thing she had feared the most. Her own daughter didn't remember her, and now all she could do was look at her and long to hold her. Tears were threatening to fall, so she grabbed a tissue out of the box on the bedside table and held it up to her face, as she tried to compose herself. The last thing she wanted to do was look weak in front of Jack. "I guess it'll take a while," was all she could manage to say.

"Ya, she'll get over it. So…where have you been?" Jack asked. He wanted to ask a lot more than that, but he figured it was a good place to start.

"It's in my report." She really didn't want to go into all of that again. She had already been questioned by General Landry and by a member of the NID, and even Carolyn had asked her a lot of questions. It was as though they didn't believe her, which made Sam feel defensive and stubborn. She wasn't going to explain herself again!

"Didn't anyone tell you? I'm not in the military anymore, so I haven't seen your report."

Sam's mouth fell open in shock, but she quickly recovered. "No, no one told me. How long?"

"I retired right after you went missing, so I could take care of Beth," he said, bouncing the child on his arm. Now she turned a curious face toward Sam. Then she looked at Jack. "Baba," she said, giving him a teary-eyed look.

"Just a minute, honey. She hasn't had breakfast yet. I'll take her out and feed her," he said as he nodded toward the door.

"No! I mean…could I watch you? You can sit over there," she said, her eyes traveling to the chair in the corner. She felt panicky, afraid that if he left, he might not come back.

"Alright. I just need to get her bag," he said, and then he left the room.

For a few seconds he just stood there in the corridor, taking deep breaths. Seeing Sam again had been much harder than he thought it would be, and not just because he had thought she was dead. Sure, that she was alive was a shock, but it was how well she looked, how beautiful and untouched by time, that was affecting him the most. What must she think of him? He was going to be 56 on his next birthday, and he definitely looked his age. Whereas Sam looked more like 31, rather than 41.

Jack's mind was still on how great Sam looked, when Daniel's voice broke into his thoughts. "You weren't in there very long. What happened?"

"Beth needs her bottle," Jack replied as he picked up the diaper bag.

"Oh. So everything's okay?"

"I don't think everything will ever be okay, Daniel," Jack stated. Then he went back inside Sam's room, leaving Daniel standing there with his mouth open.

As Sam watched, Jack gave Beth a bottle of juice, which she drank greedily, while keeping an eye on Sam. It was clear to Jack that Beth sensed his trepidation, so he tried to relax, even though his heart was pounding in his chest.

"So, you've been with Lord Yu all this time?" he asked dubiously. Since it seemed obvious she wasn't going to volunteer anything, he decided to question her.

"Yes," she answered simply. He was obviously having trouble believing that she hadn't been tortured or implanted with a symbiote, and she found Jack's doubts somewhat insulting. Maybe it was because she felt that Jack, more than anyone else, should believe her. After all, he knew her better than anyone on Earth!

"You don't look like someone who's been held captive by a Goa'uld for a year," he said, speaking his mind. Truth be told, he had never heard of anyone being held captive by a Goa'uld for so long, unless they'd had a symbiote put inside their brain. So he had to wonder why that hadn't happened to Sam.

"He didn't abduct me in order to question me…well, not in that way," she said. The confused look on Jack's face told her that she wasn't making herself clear, so she tried again. "What I mean is, he wasn't trying to get information about us…the Tauri. He just wanted…." How could she explain so that he would understand? "He just wanted companionship," she said at last.

Companionship meant one thing to Jack when it came to a woman like Sam; the old guy wanted to fuck her! Yu might have looked old and frail, but apparently he wasn't. "And so you just gave in? You don't have a bruise on you, Sam."

"What do you mean by that?" she asked hotly. She couldn't help it; she was getting angry now.

"I mean it's pretty obvious you didn't try very hard to get away. So what DID you do, just spread your legs?"

"Ja-ack!" Sam screamed at him, but her eyes were on little Beth, who was laying back in Jack's arms, enjoying her bottle.

"She doesn't understand," he said with certainty.

"You have no idea how much she understands. And even if she doesn't know the meaning of your words, she understands the tone of your voice," she said sternly. "But no, for your information I did NOT sleep with him. Lord Yu was very civilized, a complete gentleman the entire time I was there. I have to admit that at first I was puzzled, but after a while I realized he was just lonely."

"You expect me to buy that?"

"Yes, I do. You used to believe me, Jack. What's changed?" she asked, her eyes filling with tears. Now there was no way she could keep them from falling, so instead she turned her face away from him. But it broke her heart not to be able to see her daughter, so she dabbed at her cheeks and turned to look at Beth.

Now the child was sitting up, having lost interest in her bottle. Now she wanted to see the thing that was making the noise. "Wuz dat!" she cried, pointing at the heart monitor, which was pinging more frequently now.

Sam's heart had sped up as she became excited, and Beth wasn't the only one who had noticed. Dr. Lam came into the room, her eyes going from Jack to Sam. Then she walked up to the bed and stared at Sam. "Are you alright, Sam?"

"No, I'm not. I'm tired. I'd like to rest now," Sam said quietly, as she turned her face to the wall.

Carolyn patted Sam's arm, as she looked accusingly at Jack. "You can come back later, after she's rested," she said.

Jack knew it wasn't just a suggestion. So he picked up the diaper bag and quickly exited the room, without saying one more word to Sam.

The second Jack was gone, Carolyn addressed her patient. "This isn't going to be easy, Sam, but it will get better in time."

"How do you know that? Have you ever been forced to leave the people you love for a year, only to return and find that they no longer trust you?" Sam asked bitterly, as she glared at the young doctor.

"No, I haven't. I'm sorry, Sam. I don't mean to trivialize what you've been through…what you're going through. I know you're hurting. Just try to be patient…with both of them. He loves you. If you had heard him that day at your memorial ceremony, you would know."

"Jack spoke at the ceremony?" It wasn't like Jack to talk about his feelings, so Sam couldn't imagine him doing such a thing.

"Yes, he did, and afterward there wasn't a dry eye in the place. Give him a chance, Sam."

But Sam didn't believe Jack loved her anymore, and she wasn't sure she even wanted his love. He had hurt her too much in the past, and now it looked like he didn't trust her. Her main concern now was Beth and how she was going to win back her love.

"When can I get out of here?"

"You can leave just as soon as General Landry signs off on my recommendation."

"Which is?"

"That you be given two weeks to rest and put your personal affairs in order before returning to active duty here at the SGC."

"Thank you."

"Don't mention it."

TBC