Chapter Nine ~ Familiar Faces
And we have been on many thousand lines,
And we have shown, on each, spirit and power;
But hardly have we, for one little hour,
Been on our own line, have we been ourselves
– The Buried Life, by Matthew Arnold
Michael felt the warm tingle of Ava's energy slip away from his and took a deep, shuddering breath, reeling from everything he had just learned, and from just how intimate a view he'd had into Ava's head. He felt like he'd violated the blonde girl, in a far more intense and personal way than when he'd stolen Liz's journal, and judging by the way she'd withdrawn from everyone, Ava felt pretty much the same way.
But the information they'd received as a result, it was mind blowing. Their world, their culture, their past, they were nothing like anything he'd imagined, and he was amazed at how wrong some of their assumptions had been. The sheer immensity of the power that the Granilith wielded staggered him, and he felt a sudden chill at the thought that Kivar most definitely still wanted it, that Tess leaving with Max's son was not the end of things, and that everyone in Roswell was still in danger. Danger that only existed because of them, both their past and present selves.
He noticed that he was still holding Liz's small, delicate hand, her aura still brushing warmly against his, and abruptly pulled away, standing up and walking away from the small group in an attempt to get some distance from what they had just experienced, and the lingering emotions it had engendered.
Everything he had just seen, felt, heard, sensed, had sparked uncomfortable feelings of familiarity, distant memories of a voice that was always present in his head, of a crushing sense of responsibility, of people and relationships that had once been important to him, but that he could no longer remember as anything more than a strange sense of déjà-vu. What had happened after the last memory Ava had shown them? What had led to them dying; no, to them being killed, and sent here? And to what purpose? And why the hell couldn't he remember these things?
Agitatedly rumpling his hair, he couldn't help but ask himself how different his life on Earth would have been had he known these things sooner, what decisions he would and wouldn't have made. Turning back to the look at the group, he catalogued their reactions; Isabel's longing and fear, Kyle's shock and concern for Isabel (concern that both pleased and worried his brotherly instincts), and Liz's dazed, but somehow calculating expression, making him wonder not for the first time just what secrets she was keeping.
Ava finally straightened, clearing her throat and meeting his gaze, her shuttered blue eyes revealing no hint of her emotions. "I can help you unlock your memories; I think they might help Liz," she stated, sparing a brief glance at the brunette who had looked up when the blonde began to speak.
He frowned, scratching at his eyebrow. "I want to see them, but how can they help Liz? What does any of this have to do with her dreams?"
The small blonde shook her head, also frowning. "I'm not quite sure, even my memories are not all complete or clear, but I know that the dreams are familiar, and what little I do know is telling me that you're the one who will know what they mean."
It was vague and he didn't like vague, but although he had his suspicions about Parker keeping things from them, he couldn't deny how often she'd proven her loyalty, not the least in sparing them from death on Antar, and he had no intention of letting her waste away if he could prevent it.
"Fine," he grit out. "We can do another session tomorrow; I have a shift starting in an hour." He shifted his gaze to Liz, who had her head tilted to the side as she watched him intently, feeling the faintest surge of guilt at making her suffer another night. "Or we can do it after my shift, whatever."
She gave him a small, tired smile. "I can last one more night, and I think we could all use a day to recover from what we've already learned."
He gave her a short nod, remembering once again why he respected her – the same strength he'd seen in her journal, only seeming to have increased thanks to the past two years, and then included the others in his gaze. "Well, then if you four would get out, I can get ready for work."
Liz and Kyle chuckled while Isabel broke out of her stupor long enough to give him her patented icy glare, before gracefully rising to her feet, the others following suit with a little less regality, regality he now knew she had possessed in their former life as well. He watched them file out of the apartment, both Liz and Ava shooting him unreadable glances over their shoulders before leaving, and slumped with exhaustion the moment the door closed again. He hadn't had more than a few minutes peace since Valenti came into the diner and told them about Alex; the shockwaves of that night were still rippling through their lives, along with everything that had happened after.
As much as he wanted answers, and as much as they desperately needed them right now, part of him wished that Ava's arrival and all of the subsequent revelations could have been postponed until they'd all had time to deal with the repercussions of Tess's actions, and of the sordid mess their lives had become. He was worried about Max; both for his brother, and that he would do something stupid to endanger all of them. He was worried about Liz, about the secrets he knew she was keeping, and about how pale and withdrawn she'd become, something the dreams had exacerbated, but that had started before them, even before Alex's death if he thought about it.
He was worried about Isabel and even Kyle, and how they were dealing with Alex's death and Tess's betrayal. And most of all he was worried about Maria, who, although maintaining their relationship, seemed to be growing more and more distant as he delved deeper into his alien heritage, and worried that maybe she had the right idea. He had been right all those months ago when he told Maria that it wasn't safe, that he was staying away for her own good. Although Liz would be dead if Max hadn't intervened, he couldn't help but feel that all of the subsequent trauma their human allies had experienced, hadn't been worth the few rewards. It was too late to step back now; too late for what-ifs, but that didn't stop the guilt.
He shook his head, irritated with himself for standing in the middle of his living room and brooding, and headed for the bathroom; maybe a shower would wake him up.
~x~
Michael was both disappointed and relieved when he showed up for his shift and found that Liz was working instead of Maria, not quite ready to face his conflicting feelings or hers, but also missing the closeness that they had spent the past year building. He kept a close eye on the brunette, but she seemed to be holding things together, her years of experience as a waitress serving her well, even though his keen eyes picked up on her exhaustion.
Ava was sitting in a corner booth, also watching Liz, although avoiding his gaze, and unwillingly his thoughts were drawn back to the memories they had witnessed, and another unanswered what if. What if they had treated Tess differently? Their lack of welcome by no means excused her actions, but if they had given her an alternative to Nasedo's plan, been the family she remembered and had clearly loved, would Alex still be alive?
Liz handed him a personal order, summoning up the ghost of a smile, before turning towards the familiar jingle of the door, her smile brightening into something approaching normal as she went to greet the entering customer, only their fourth of the day, a young blonde woman who looked vaguely familiar to him. Michael watched with sudden concern as the blood drained from Liz's face and she took a shaky step backwards, away from the woman who was staring at her with strange intensity.
Michael hurried out of the kitchen and through the backroom into the restaurant, glad that their only remaining customers aside from the blond were an older couple who could barely hear or see, and that Ava was perfectly capable of making sure that no one but them could see or hear anything they shouldn't.
Liz had taken another step back by the time he pushed through the swinging doors, and Ava was on her feet, a line of concentration marring her forehead as she stood behind the brunette and slightly to the side, both warily watching the woman who Michael still could not place. Stepping past Ava, he stood next to and just in front of Liz, glancing briefly at her pale face, and the green electricity already weaving through her fingers, before turning all of his attention to the threat.
"I'm not here to hurt you," the young woman said firmly, carefully keeping her hands down.
Liz shook her head fiercely and hissed. "Somehow I don't believe you, Leanna."
Michael sucked in a sharp breath, finally recognizing the blonde, and raised his palm towards 'Leanna' or 'Jennifer Coleman' or whoever the hell she was, slowly unfurling his energy, resulting in a soft, potentially lethal glow. "What do you want?" he growled, only a justly earned caution and unwillingness to deal with a body in the middle of the Crashdown, holding him back from incinerating the woman where she stood.
"I was sent here to help you," she stated, earning a bitter, derisive snort from Liz. The girl smiled sadly in response. "I know I haven't succeeded very well. Killing the one you call Nasedo and keeping the Skins busy is not nearly enough to make up for the loss of your friend, or the betrayal of the other Ava, but I can help you now, if you'll let me."
Liz seemed to be too furious to speak, and Ava had other things to focus on, so it was Michael who had to reply to her shocking statement. "Why should we believe anything you say?"
"Promise not to shoot?" she asked with a hint of amusement in her green eyes, amusement that quickly faded as she cautiously raised her right hand, palm out, making all of them tense instinctively. There was some sort of tattoo on her palm and Ava gasped, taking a step forward so that she could see better. "No," she whispered. "It's not possible."
'Leanna' just smiled, and Michael ground his teeth in frustration, hating that he didn't know what had Ava so spooked. "What's not possible?"
"Don't you recognize it?" Ava asked in clear shock, turning wide blue eyes on him and gesturing towards the mark. "You saw it today."
Michael frowned and focused on the shape, etched with some sort of ink that shimmered strangely in the light, wracking his brain until an image of a young Rath with the same mark on his palm flashed through his mind. "You're a Vaneth," he stated flatly.
She nodded and Liz started to laugh, an edge of hysteria tainting her voice as the green currents faded from her skin. "You have got to be fucking kidding me."
Michael rocked back on his heels and scratched at his eyebrow, unable to do anything but completely agree with her sentiments.