Lying Helpless in Her Arms
Chapter 9 - Brookie
"You have a nice place here, B. Davis" he said as they entered her penthouse
"You said that the first time around" she giggled while she threw her bag and laptop case over the counter
"I really like it here" he said looking around at her decoration. It was fancy and modern but it didn't feel cold like most of modern decorated places. It was warm. Maybe because there was a lot of red or probably because everything about Brooke Davis was warm. There was no coldness in her and this was one of his favorite things on her.
Her apartment had her name on it. It was cozy. Had Julian mentioned how much he loved cozy places? They were the exact contrast of the house he had grown up. He could remember the first time he visited his sister on North Carolina, after she got married and had the first baby. He had loved her southern house. He didn't want to go back to LA not only because of his niece who was the most beautiful baby he had ever seen, but especially because he felt good there.
There was something about the smells, the sounds, the furniture; it was warmer than his house in Los Angeles, though the weather in North Carolina was actually colder than California. He felt embraced by the snugness of his sister's house and by her love and care to the newborn. That first day he knew Isabella would be a great mother, totally opposed to theirs.
"Can I get you something to drink?" she offered while he seemed to zone out
"No, I am okay"
"So I think I own you a tour at my apartment?" she whispered seductively on his ear from behind
"I guess you do" he agreed turning around and moving his hands to her hips
"What did you do to me, Julian Baker? I am not this girl for five years" she asked moving her arms to his shoulder and caressing the back of his head. Brooke really hadn't felt so relaxed and comfortable around someone in a long time and she really didn't want to remember about her last time. She was content with the current one.
"I am happy to see the genuine Brooke Davis. Her giggles are contagious and her cheeriness vicious. Her dimpled smile is probably the brightest light out there" he described her seeing the brunette's big smile showing her full dimples.
"You are such a seducer, Baker" she stated closing the space between their bodies. He was saying the perfect things to her, why wouldn't he give in?
"Not tonight, remember?" he brushed quickly her cheek before breaking contact "Show me your home, B. Davis" he suggested leading the way to the main hall
"Teaser doesn't suit you, Baker, I know you mean business and so I do. We work better that way" she said following him
"You look hot when you are confident, Brooke Davis" he whispered as he grabbed her by her waist when she was passing by him. She was making it very hard for him to resist. He was on verge to just rip her clothes right there but he wanted it to be special. He wanted her to fully enjoy and live that moment.
"Do you have to use the full name all the time? Now and then is charming but so much makes you my teacher on college" she complained still in his arms
"I can't help, I love your name in my mouth, Brooke Davis" he stressed her name. The way he said it made her weak on her knees. She loved how he said each word, each syllable. Everything that came out of his mouth seemed to have been planned and rehearsed and yet he was so spontaneous. And so perfect.
"You are torturing me" she muttered with her eyes closed
"I am sorry, let's start the tour" he let go of her body and offered his hand for her to take
They entwined their fingers and she leaded the way. She started with her home office, then her guest rooms, the bathrooms, the kitchen and finally her bedroom
"I guess this one you remember vividly" she smiled as she sat on her bed leaning back on her elbows
"I remember vividly of you, Brooke. I didn't see anything else that day except for you" he said from the doorstep, his arms crossed on his chest and one of his legs bent
"So why don't you come in and get yourself familiar with the environment?" she suggested raising her eyebrows and slightly tilting her head up
"I prefer to watch you on your own environment" he said licking his lips. She looked absolutely tempting laid in her bed.
"Voyeur much, huh?" she teased moving her hands inside the skirt of her dress and sensually peeling off her stockings
"Brooke" he pleaded moving from his spot and reaching for her hands "I am not here for the sex. You are beautiful, sexy as hell, but I am not here to simply have sex with you" he explained stopping her hands action. He had to stop her before he couldn't stop himself. Sex was really important to Julian and he wanted to make up for the first time they slept together. Not only for her pleasure but also for his. The next time they'd have sex he wanted the whole experience, not only the physical.
"So what do you want from me, Julian?" she sighed frustrated and letting her upper body fall in her back. This is embarrassing, she thought. He clearly didn't want to have sex with her again and she was offering herself as if she was a whore.
"You know the answer" he answered crouched in front of her, crossing his arms over her knees and resting his chin over them
"All this knowing thing is getting old and frustrating. You tease me all day. You say the right words to let me flipping inside" she confessed leaning on her elbows again and raising her head to look at him.
"I can't help it, Brooke. You are beautiful and I am… me" he said looking at her eyes, his voice sending shivers to her spine.
"So what? You didn't like the first time around?" she showed off her insecurities. Maybe spending so much time without sex made her lose her ways with it.
"You were memorable, remarkable, unforgettable and insanely hot, Dimples. A man can't ask for more" he said removing his arms for a moment to give her knee a quick peck.
"So what's the problem? Why are you avoiding having sex with me like I am the plague?" she asked and he could almost see a hint of hurt on her eyes.
"I am not avoiding having sex with you, Brooke. We were two strangers when it happened and the next time I feel myself inside of you I want to look in your eyes and see what you are feeling and what you'll need. I want to know where to touch, where to kiss, I want to fulfill all your needs" he said crawling over her slowly
"Trust me, you knew exactly what to do" she said resting her head in the bed again as he advanced over her body
"I am not talking only about what your body needs" he said when their faces were finally in front one another
"Sex doesn't imply any other needs" she said with mixed feelings. She was aroused but also feeling vulnerable and still embarrassed.
"For me it does" he said brushing her hair while he looked intensely in her eyes
"So what? Do you want to make love?" she asked confused. He avoided love as much as she did, what else would sex involve if not love?
"I never did and never will mention love" he confirmed her thoughts and only increased her doubts.
"So what is it, Julian? I am tired of his mouse and cat thing. I don't know what kind of magic or voodoo you did but I am entangled in this net you built. I am willing to throw off my clothes, in my bedroom and let you do whatever you want with me but you won't have me" she said breaking contact with his eyes and turning her face to the side. She hated to feel so exposed and tears threatened to fall.
Now it was more than a hint, it was a glimpse of hurt. Julian knew she had been hurt before and she was vulnerable and fragile and he couldn't think of anything more beautiful. He never met a woman like Brooke Davis. It seemed like she had a little bit of all of them and still she was totally different, she had something that was only hers. But he couldn't hurt her and if to spare her of any pain he had to do things her way, he would do it.
"If you really want me to take you right now, I'll do it. Only if that's what you really want" he said still brushing her hair
"You already ruined the moment" she pouted still avoiding to look at him.
"You are more than some handy sex. You are more than sexy. You are more than hot. You are more than your legs, skin, breasts and ass. I see them and I like what I see but what I see in your eyes is more important. And I want to see it when we make it again." he said using his hand to move her face back to him.
"Too bad that I only have legs, skin, breasts and ass to offer" she mused trying to move from underneath him but having no success as his strong arms and legs wouldn't let her.
"You have much more to offer and while I won't be the one to happily receive the prize I am sure the man you decide to give your heart will be the happiest man on earth, Brooke" he said as he tried to stop her fighting to leave the bed.
"Right. You don't want it for a reason, Julian" she retorted finally giving up fighting him.
"The only reason is me, not you" he justified and with that he leaned down and reached for her lips.
Brooke didn't fight the kiss. It was too gentle and too soft to be fought. It wasn't rushed by desire or needing. It was calming and reassuring. The way he slowly moved his lips and both of his hands caressed her hair and cheeks was impossible to be stopped.
He was leaning on his elbows to do not hurt her. He knew she wouldn't be hurt by his weight but he felt like she was china in his hands. He had never been this gentle to any woman before her; though he didn't use to be rough either. While he was always careful, he was also always aroused and desire controlled his actions. But with Brooke it wasn't what leaded his actions, though it was there as well. There was something more and he wasn't willing to find out what it was right now. He wanted to enjoy this moment and nothing more.
He touched her lips and pulled back some fractions of inches and barely touched them again. It was like he was asking her to chase his mouth. It was inviting and not longer she finally grabbed his head and lowered it down to full touch her lips. He resumed his first actions and never rushed or deepened the kiss. It was different. It was special. It was personal.
She finally realized what he said earlier about knowing. She finally understood what he was talking about. Intimacy. Brooke couldn't remember the last time she let someone be intimate to her. Damn, she didn't remember the last she was intimate to anyone. And it felt so good. It was one of these feelings she kept herself from. It was one of these feelings that made things complicated and eventually leaded her to be hurt.
She had accepted that her needing and loneliness made her let Julian get closer but there was something else and unlike him, she was willing to figure it out. She only hoped it wasn't love. Intimacy and vulnerability was something she was willing to share for a change. It would make her feel good. It would be a break, a deserving break, of all the rush of things she had faced and fought in the last years. But not love. She couldn't fall in love with him, especially when he said there was no room for it.
She was allowing herself to have these few days with him but she wouldn't allow her heart to develop any feelings to the perfect guy that was kissing her now. She needed control. She needed to be able to have it as she wanted and control when to start and when to stop. Intimacy and vulnerability were totally different of developing feelings and these she wasn't entitled to have.
"This is good" she muttered in his lips
"I know" he agreed not stopping his moves
They stood in her bed for longer than she could count. Just kissing. And while arousal was built it was also fed by the kisses alone. Their lips never found something else than their mouths. It didn't move to their necks and jaw lines. The more they kissed, more they wanted and more they needed it.
Julian hadn't seen that coming. He only wanted to make her fears and anxiety to go away. He only wanted one kiss to shut her up but once he started he couldn't stop. Her taste, her smell, her softness. All about her lips made him hungry of more and more. Oddly it didn't make him hungry for more than her lips but only more of her lips. She mentioned magic earlier. He knew he had a way with women but Brooke Davis was the first to ever find a way with him. She seemed to have been working some magic by herself.
He gave her one last peck in the lips and rolled his body by her side.
She didn't say anything. He brushed her hair and whispered how beautiful she was. He couldn't help himself and not do it. The more time he spent with her more beautiful she looked to him. It was crazy but absolutely beautiful.
She rolled over her side and propped her head on her arm while he caressed her. Who was this man and what was he doing to her? While her fears and defenses were screaming for her to back off she couldn't bring herself to do it. She couldn't control her actions around him and this was exactly what she's been avoiding but somehow she didn't realize her lack of power over this situation because the situation was too good to be denied or interrupted. She just couldn't stop.
"What do you want to do?" she asked after a while holding his chin and rubbing it with her thumb
"I could be like this with you all the night if you want" he said grabbing her hand from his chin and kissing it, the way only he did it. She was already missing it if she was honest with herself
"Sounds tempting" she said and for the first time she copied his actions and brought his hand to her lips. She closed her eyes and slid his palm on her cheek. She turned her head a bit and kissed it smelling his big hand by rubbing her nose on it. Turning his hand she kissed his backhand and once again rubbed his hand on her face. He had big and beautiful hands and he smelled so good, he was warm and his skin was just soft. She was surprised by her actions and especially by the outcome. She didn't want let go. It was so good to feel his skin against hers but with one last kiss on his palm she released his hand.
It surprised him more than her. No one ever did it before. Fair enough he didn't do it to everyone. He had done before but it never had the same meaning for him as doing it with Brooke. While the reason was the same, to feel the warmth and smell of his woman, the felling with her was totally different and unexpected. He craved for touching her, for breathing her smell and savoring her taste, for being as close as possible to Brooke. And what she just did was amazing. He had no idea if that was how she felt when he kissed her hand but he couldn't think of a better feeling now.
"I'd suggest us to move to a more comfortable position, especially you" he softly spoke caressing her cheek with the back of his fingers
"Okay" she said over a whisper
He stood up and took off shirt, keeping only the wife beater and his pants "Change into something comfortable, I am sure this belt is killing you" he pointed out as he crawled to the head of bed resting his back on the headboard.
Brooke was so lost in the moment that she hadn't really realized that indeed her dress was anything but comfortable to stay in the position she was laid.
"I will" she said with a soft smile as she stood up and walked to her closet taking an old t-shirt. She changed her clothes in front of him. She wasn't embarrassed or worried about it. It felt natural and there wasn't anything sexual about it. She didn't make the usual sensual moves she did when she was stripping in front of a man. She wasn't trying to seduce him and they both knew it. But it didn't mean Julian wasn't on a trance as she did it, admiring her perfect body.
She climbed the bed and also sat on it, resting her back on his chest. They started to talk about many things in their lives. He talked about movies he had produced. She talked about her fashion shows and her friends. They spent hours talking and it wasn't uncomfortable or awkward for one moment.
They paid attention on every detail of the stories the other shared. They laughed and they even cried laughing of some of the embarrassing situations they witnessed in their careers. About any stupid thing an actor or a model would say or some ticklish situation they had to handle.
Their bodies always finding their way to one another's. She would rub his stomach, thighs, chest, jaw line, hair. She would give quick pecks in most of these places as well. He wrapped his arms around her and most of the time he kissed her head, hair, forehead, cheek and lips. Always softly and quickly. His arms felt so good around her body that he could listen to her crazy stories for the rest of the days he had with her. Thinking about the small amount of time they had ahead of them made his heart sink and he felt like he should leave. He didn't want to get so used to her because he knew he was losing her in a few days.
And that was just a weird feeling. He never felt like he lost a woman. He usually felt like their time was over and that both of them should move on with their lives in their separate ways. Some of them missed him and called but he never looked back to what they had because he didn't miss it. He never felt like he lost them or lost something with them but now the feeling of loss was rising on his chest and he wanted it to go away. He wouldn't allow himself to feel like that for anyone. Not even Brooke.
"I should be going" he said when the clock on her night stand showed almost eleven.
"Okay" she agreed. She wanted to ask him to stay. But somehow she found a way to regain control of the situation and didn't let her emotions to lead her actions.
"What about we have breakfast tomorrow morning? At Villa's?" he suggested.
"So you can keep flirting with Suzanne" she retorted rolling her eyes.
"You know her name is Susan and I have to tell you, jealousy suits you perfectly" he teased, kissing the very side of her face, his nose actually brushing her ear.
"I told you I don't do jealousy" she pointed out smiling. She knew she was jealous of the petite waitress but she wouldn't ever admit it.
"Right" he agreed with a grin and stood up collecting his shirt from the floor to dress up.
"I also told you I don't have breakfast. I don't have time" she completed noticing his toned body in the wife beater.
"This is not healthy Brookie. I'll be here at 7am, let your doorman know and let me in" he said while he buttoned up his shirt.
"Brookie?!? Seriously?" she said with a laugh shaking her head "I feel like a five years old"
"I like your name and all its possible derivations" he said climbing over the bed again
"Good night, Brookie" he said kissing her forehead "And FYI you are five years old" he completed with his full grin on show
"Am no--" she started but he cut off "And fifteen, twenty two, thirty, forty. You have the best of each age, the pureness; the vulnerability; the refreshing freedom; the intensity and the hot confidence. I think it is alluring" he completed moving out the bed while she blushed. He really knew what to say to make her melt and flip inside
"Thank you, Julian, for tonight, for today" she said standing up from the bed and hugging him, taking more time than any other hug she would share with someone else. In that moment he knew she had felt exactly the same thing he did and while it was what he looked forward all the time, it still was much more intense than he ever expected. Probably because she wasn't the only one opening herself.
He opened himself to the woman in his arms and while he wasn't willing to actually keep doing it, he was happy he did. She was learning many things about him and he felt good sharing them with her. Either the ones he told her either the sensations or feelings they shared.
"Bye" he said kissing her head and walking away. He needed to leave her before he would say something he would regret.
AN: Please don't kill me. I am so sorry that I haven't updated in a while even though I have ten chapters written. Actually I was waiting for Ashley to beta review it but I guess she is very busy lately so I decided I will stop the beta thing for a while. I guess I learned a lot with her and I feel like I improved my English. While I want to give you my best, and it includes a decent English, I won't deprive you of chapters I actually have written because of my language limitation. I guess I make myself understood most of times and if you don't understand something just ask me.
I could ask someone else but I really cherish Ashley. She has been amazing to me and she became irreplaceable until the moment she says she can't do it anymore. Some very nice people helped me with some chapters in the past but I feel like I'll stick up with her because of her kindness to me. So while she can't actually do it.
Now about this chapter. I am biased, I know, as I wrote it, but I LOVE IT! I like what they share, I like their battles, I like how they can't stop themselves, how they can't resist each other. Maybe it is not too obvious but Julian and Brooke aren't really comfortable in this position. They guard their hearts, they always did (Brooke actually gave it to Lucas once but that's it) and they plan to keep doing it but they are trying to be 'physical' about this relationship or at most enjoy the best of the sensations it gives them but avoiding the feelings like plague.
In this chapter I explore the intimacy sensation. They are starting to be intimate to each other and it changes everything. A kiss and an intimate kiss are absolutely different things. And that's what Julian always looks forward. He wants intimacy, he wants to have a connection with the woman he is with, especially during sex. As the story develops the references to his past will become less common. Actually the next chapter is all about Julian. There will be flashbacks and we will learn about two women of his past and about his family.
So be prepared to a different chapter. There will be no interaction (except for a text). It will be exclusively about his background and his current feelings but still a very good chapter :)
Also the Monday has finally ended. Yeah, it is still Monday and the third time they met. They started the day as great as they could, then Brooke had a meltdown and decided to have one last good thing on New York before she settles for the life she wants to have in TH. They had a pleasant afternoon in the cafe and a nice night at her house and both moments stirred up some feelings and sensations that will be explored from now on.
I would love to have reviews though I know I hasn't update but I'll resume my average until Ash is able to check it again. Thanks to Kayla, Sab, Syrine.B, lili, Artemi and kaos2405 for the reviews.
Have a nice week. xoxo, Babi