Warnings: Murder (semi-graphic), blood, sort-of-torture, explicit gay sex
Good Day, Bad Day, Just Plain Terrible.
The phrase "it's one of those days" is pretty damn common, but in Arkham Asylum it could mean anything.
"It's one of those days; Two-Face made the new guard cry."
"It's one of those days; Riddler wrote threats on the wall again."
"It's one of those days; Harlequin punched out someone in the canteen."
"It's one of those days; someone's broken out of their cell again."
"It's one of those days; we're all screwed."
Today is seemed to be the last one of those. It was a day that had started with guards dying and the Scarecrow mocked the pathetic attempts at recapturing the Riddler and himself.
"You're jus' gunna leave us here Eddie?" Harlequin screeched as Edward strolled down the corridor.
Edward twirled the cell keys, "But of course not my dear! We need some form of distraction now don't we? Besides, there's nothing quite like a mass breakout to test the intelligence of those running this place!"
Jonathan had already found the medical room and had made a start on mixing together an explosive to help them out.
This was a day when the guards wished they weren't on shift because people were going to die.
-/-
Bruce Wayne had had a bad day (now, in the scale of things that really wasn't too important). His day had started badly when he was late to a meeting. It progressed badly; Wayne Enterprises has lost a bid worth a few million dollars and the day ended badly when his Bentley broke down.
An unfortunate side-effect of Bruce Wayne having a bad day was that Batman was going to be in a bad mood.
As if this wasn't bad enough, it seemed like every petty criminal was out committing crimes. Three fatal corner-shop robberies, five muggings, a bank hold-up, an attempted break-out of a prison and an actual break-out from Arkham Asylum. Twenty-two 'low risk' patients and five 'medium risk' patients had escaped and it was only 3am.
Batman had said that any of the villains shouldn't be allowed to spend time together, but had Arkham listened? Of course not, what would Batman know of how to treat the criminally insane?
Now there were zombie-like looters in the city centre under Poison Ivy's thrall, four women named Alice had been reported kidnapped by the Mad Hatter, penguin had stolen a submarine full of torpedoes and no one had seen or heard from the Riddler and Scarecrow, which could only mean bad things.
If there was no sign of those two then it could only mean that they were scheming and waiting for the perfect moment to strike and Batman just could not deal with that thought right now. If they had decided to make his night a bit easier and not cause a commotion, why would he provoke them when he had so much else to do.
From his perch on top of a gargoyle on a Cathedral, Batman weighed his options. Sirens were blaring from the roads and the police radios were a non-stop chatter of noise in the muggy summer's night air.
Clearly there was no point in going after Ivy until an antidote to the new strain of pollen had been created and Batman was already tracking Penguin's submarine, but he hadn't made a demand yet, and the Penguin wouldn't do anything until he's tried to blackmail as much money as possible.
With those thoughts in mind, Batman started his search for the tea-party the Mad Hatter was no doubt having in what he had deemed 'Wonderland'.
-/-
Edward Nigma knew that it was going to be a good night because it had been a good day.
He had beaten Oswold Cobblepot at chess, infuriated his medical doctor, belittled his psychiatrist and not managed to aggravate any of the violent inmates he shared the C.A.R.E room with.
Oh and the fact that his escape plan worked like a charm, just as he planned it.
Inside the dingy little apartment they had commandeered, Edward smiled, "What do you say Doc? This place any good?"
From the depths of the other room the Scarecrow's voice filtered back, "it is hardly appropriate from my equipment, but I suppose it will do for the moment. Have you disposed of the man yet?"
The man in question was just an unfortunate civilian who had been stupid enough to open to the door at four in the morning. He had been bound, gagged and was sobbing his eyes out.
"I will, I will. I had to think up the right question first." Edward clapped his hands and hauled the man upright into a chair. "I'll give you a fair chance. All you have to do is tell me what this is from and I'll let you go!" This wasn't completely a lie; he would let him go...straight into the Scarecrow's path.
The man sobbed harder, but the noise didn't even annoy Edward.
"If you fail, of course I'll have to..." he paused when he realised he only had a gun and a gunshot was not the sort of noise that would go unnoticed, even in this part of Gotham. "I'll have to brain slit your throat and that will just be messy." Edward stepped away and opened his arms with a flourish, "'There is special providence in the fall of a sparrow. If it be, 'tis not to come, if it be not to come, it will be now. If it not be now, yet it will come. The readiness is all, since no man of aught he leaves knows what is't to leave betimes.'" The whole speech was that of a person who knew the words, understood them and care about how they were delivered. In any other circumstance, the imprisoned civilian would have cheered and clapped, but instead he just wailed when the gag was removed.
"Tick tock, here's a clock! If you don't answer in five – four – three –"
"I don't know! Oh god please I don't know –"
The smiled had faded from Edward's face, "Then may 'flights of Angels sing thee to thy rest,' for here is your exit stage left." With a smooth movement, Edward had a carving knife from the draw in his hand and quickly slit his throat. Uninterested in watching him die, Edward slipped out and went in search of a bedroom for the all-important wardrobe.
Edward hummed softly as he pulled out various shirts and t-shirts until he found a nice green shirt that replace the boring white thing from Arkham. Edward doubted the man would own any green trousers as well, so settled for a nice pair of black suit trouser. Nearly anything was better than the neon orange jumpsuit.
-/-
After he was washed and dressed, he went back to the living room to see what Jonathan was doing. Jonathan was settled on the sofa and was looking with an idle curiosity at the pool of blood he could see in the kitchen.
"What're you going to do now?" The good mood had been restored in Edward by clean clothes and it showed in the bounce of his step and upbeat cheer in his voice.
"I have to find a suitable warehouse and begin collecting the chemicals I will need. Though for this exact moment I will watch the chaos you inadvertently caused unfold."
Edward took a careful seat next to Jonathan, who switched the TV on and the pair settled into the closest thing to domesticity they could achieve outside an insane asylum.
Their relationship was not normal; both were geniuses driven to gather knowledge, something that manifested as a criminal intent, but also meant they had a tendency to be emotionally and physically abusive towards each other. They would continuously irritate each other, driving one to lash out (Jonathan would target Edward's fears, while Edward would target Jonathan's social retardation).
Peace was not something that the pair would often find themselves in when around each other, yet as they watched Poison Ivy scream about how plants would reclaim the world, they merely made passing remarks about the flaws in their fellow villain's plans.
The early hours of the morning passed without much movement on their parts, though Edward slowly started to slip down the sofa as he grew more and more tired.
Jonathan made no move to stop Edward's decent, or even move the younger man when his head fell to rest on Jonathan's shoulder.
The moment was tender and domestic enough that Jonathan's hands itched with the desire to do something to destroy the peace. Instead he simply ran his fingers over the side of Edward's neck, seeking out the external jugular vein, and Jonathan tapped on it idly.
Edward made a muffled noise that sounded so pathetic Jonathan almost stopped and moved away just so we wouldn't be able to hear something like that again, but then Edward turned his head further into Jonathan's shoulder and exposed more of his neck.
Jonathan couldn't help but trace the vein up and then down, and when he reached Edward's collar bone, he fanned all of his fingers across the bone.
There was a soft sigh of pleasure from Edward, but he quickly stopped breathing when Jonathan moved his hand across the front of Edward's throat and applied a light pressure.
Jonathan's lips twitched up into a smile. He moved his hand away and down the front of Edward's shirt.
-/-
The news continued to drone on the in the background, but neither paid attention to it because Edward was straddled on Jonathan's lap, his trousers tangled around his thighs, while Jonathan's were simply undone.
Jonathan had a hand on Edward's waist and one on the joint between Edward's neck and body, and he was letting Edward do all the work.
And Edward was putting on a good show; he had taken Jonathan's cock fully into himself and was riding Jonathan with long but forceful rolls of his hips. Edward's head was tipped back, a blush stained his whole face and his gingery-brown hair clung to the edges of it, sweat soaked.
"Jon –ah –Jonathan!" his voice was breathless and the cries he made, while not quite as nice as the ones of fear and pain, were enough to curve Jonathan's lips into a full smirk.
Jonathan moved on Edward's next downward thrust; he shifted his hips upward and that was it, that was the noise he'd wanted; the keening "Mmmmnnn!" that Edward could never suppress. With a few more thrusts, Jonathan let his own head fall back and he closed his eyes as a shudder went through him as he climaxed.
Edward hand was quickly working his cock, slick with pre-come between their bodies and he kept rolling his hips through Jonathan's orgasm until all of the air left his lungs in a harsh gasp and he came with hitched breath.
-/-
After they had caught their breath, Jonathan pushed Edward off him, back to his side of the sofa and they watched the morning news together in silence.
This time, it was Edward who got up first. He stretched his back and rolled his neck before he shuffled to the bathroom. After he cleaned himself up, he quietly brought a washcloth back to Jonathan, but retreated to the bedroom before he could actually make eye-contact.
It only took him ten minutes to change clothes, settle his normal smug aura around himself and walk out as if he ruled the world.
"Well my dear Scarecrow, I must bid you goodbye. Things to do and all that."
The lack of response was expected.
"No doubt we'll bump into each other soon, so 'till then!"
Edward left without looking back because hell, even if they didn't meet up as free men, Arkham Asylum was only so big and the stupid doctors never seemed to learn their lessons.
With a smile and spring in his step, Edward wondered off down the road, whistling as he went. 'Oranges and lemons say the bells of Saint Clement's.'
Oh, hullo all.
I suppose I can offer the normal; I just finished my second year at university and was really fucking busy? Ah well whatever here's a chapter for you~
This is actually my first time writing any sort of sex-scene, so if you wouldn't mind giving me some feedback that'd be great (even if it is to tell me to never do it again) because I feel pretty damn embarressed about just posting this!
As per normal, a massive thanks to those who added this to their favourites and alerts! And so much love to everyone who leaves a reivew; I do try to reply to everyone, but sometimes I forget because apparently a person isn't meant to stay up for 44 hours, so I'm going to bed now.