A/N: It's not my fault. Artie had me thrown in the bronzer for the past 2.5 years.
Myka was distracted all through first period. Second period too, to be honest. She kept trying to focus on the teacher and the schoolwork, and she would even manage it for a second or five, but then she'd remember Helena or the sensation of lips kissing hers and then she'd be distracted again.
She couldn't bring herself to be mad, though. Even good students were allowed to be distracted some days.
Lunch, however, required her to suck it up and reign in her focus. She couldn't let her thoughts wander back to the unscheduled make-out session that morning. Her face would break into an out-of-place grin, and while she'd managed to keep the smiling beneath the teachers' attention, Helena would notice instantly. It would be embarrassing.
- About as embarrassing as the butterflies that swarmed her stomach when she walked into the cafeteria to see Helena already sitting at their usual lunch table. Crap.
Myka took a deep breath and tried to sit down beside her as casually as she could. She didn't think she succeeded, the way the butterflies fluttered into a rampage when Helena smiled at her. Myka was certain her hands were shaking.
"Long time no see," Helena grinned.
"Uh, yeah," Myka chuckled. Her brain blanked on a more proper response. Ugh, good one, Myka. Was this your first time talking to another human being?
Thankfully, Pete sat down with his tray and Claudia and Steve weren't far behind him. They were experts at distracting people with conversations.
"I can't believe Artie's coming tomorrow."
"It's parent-teacher conferences," Steve pointed out.
"Yeah, but Artie works at the school. He can talk to my teachers any old day."
Helena was sitting close to Myka, like really close. Was that normal? The cafeteria was crowded; chair legs were always getting tangled with each other whenever anyone moved. It wasn't truly that strange for Helena to be sitting so near to Myka. Then again, Myka could feel the warmth of her leg against hers even though they weren't touching, so that meant they were sitting close, right?
"Having a parent that's a teacher is the worst," Pete said. "I totally know your pain."
"Your mom's not a teacher," Claudia said.
"She was when I was in elementary school. It was so embarrassing. Especially when I got sent to the principal's office."
Their arms were only a few inches from each other. It wouldn't take much movement to hold Helena's hand - not over the table, obviously, but under the table would be easy.
"Are yours coming, Mykes?"
"What?" Myka finally joined the conversation.
"Parent teacher conference," Pete said, popping a fry into his mouth.
Myka's stomach dropped. "Tonight?"
"Nooo." Pete gave her a weird look. "Tomorrow."
Tomorrow, Thursday, right. They had parent teacher conferences scheduled. Her parents would be here at the school. Talking to her teachers. Talking to other parents.
Oh crap.
"Are you okay?" Pete's weird look had scrunched into a frown.
"Yeah, fine," Myka said quickly. "They'll be there tomorrow."
"You can't be worried they'll hear something negative about you," Helena said. "You're the most shining example of a dedicated student I've ever seen."
"No, I'm not." Myka glanced at her. She was so screwed; she was so screwed. "I'm not worried. Just, you know, why remind your parents you exist more than you need to?"
"Here, here!" Claudia toasted with her fork. "If Artie didn't pay attention to me, I could do so much."
Now Helena was looking at her weirdly. Myka forced out a smile to try and reassure her.
"Like what, electrocute yourself?" Steve asked.
"No, nuh uh. I'm way too smart for that."
"You could eat a whole bag of marshmallows," Pete said dreamily.
"Without getting in trouble, yes!" Claudia said. "Like that Jinksy. We could get away with so much without parents."
Like not having to worry about parent-teacher conferences, Myka thought as she picked at her food. Oh, she was so freaking screwed.
Later that evening, when dinner was finished and her dad had finally come upstairs from the store, Myka paced the hallway. She'd been over every possible scenario in her mind, and the only one that didn't end with her grounded until college was if she came clean about everything right now. They were still going to be mad, her dad would be furious, but if she didn't tell them about the TiMER and Helena tonight, then they'd hear about it from a teacher tomorrow, or they'd bump into Caturanga, or Pete's mom would bring it up. Jane Lattimer was cool and nice but she still stuck with the code of not keeping a child's secret from their parents.
Myka bit her lip. She was so nervous. Not for the first time, did she wish she belonged to some other family or had already been whisked away to some secret destiny that meant her parents couldn't control her anymore.
Her current lap through the hall made her crash right into Tracy leaving her room.
"Ow."
"Well, watch where you're going next time."
"You watch it." Tracy glared as she shook out her arm. "What are you doing?"
"Nothing." Myka considered hiding in her room, but she feared she wouldn't be able to drag herself back out if she did.
"Psyching yourself up to ask for a bigger allowance?"
"No." Myka stopped and spun in place. "Wait, do you get an allowance?"
Tracy rolled her eyes. "Only when I ignore child-labor laws and work downstairs."
"Those don't apply when it's a family business." Myka resumed her pacing.
"Well, that's bullshit."
"Tracy!" Myka hissed. She glanced fearfully towards the end of the hall and waited a moment. There was no movement or other sign their parents had heard Tracy curse. "God, what are you doing?"
"What are you doing?" Tracy countered.
"I'm..." Myka dug her fingertips into the soft flesh above her hips. "I'm going to tell them about Helena."
"Ooo, are you running away to go live together?" Tracy's eyes lit up. "That would be so cool."
"No," Myka said. Where did her sister come up with this stuff? "I'm just going to tell them that our TiMERs matched."
"Oh." Tracy looked way less interested. "Good luck," she sang before disappearing back into her room. She shut the door behind her, and Myka stared at the hollow balsa wood. Great. She was probably going to feign ignorance now too. "No, Dad, that's so weird. I hadn't heard anything at school about Myka's TiMER going off." Myka was completely screwed and now also on her own. Perfect. That's just perfect.
She glanced at the end of the hall. It was now or never.
Her parents were sitting on the couch watching the news when Myka entered the living room. Her mom glanced over at her.
"Hey sweetheart, did you finish your homework?"
No, but if she said that, they'd never let her get another word out until it was done. "Uh huh, every bit of it."
She flashed a smile that her mom seemed to buy. Her father never looked away from the TV.
Myka steeled herself. "Um, Mom, Dad. Could I talk to you about something?"
"Are you failing?" her father said abruptly.
"No." What would she even be failing?
"Do you need to skip work this weekend?"
Myka flinched at the word "skip", like she was a selfish, spoiled delinquent trying to get out of hard work. "No."
"Just let her say it." Myka's mom tapped her father on the arm. Her father sighed and turned his eyes to look at her. Myka really wished there was a rabbit hole for her to fall into so she wouldn't have to have this conversation.
"So, you remember my TiMER," she started. It was weak and would lead to rambling, but she didn't know how else to begin. "Well, it was due to go off sometime this year and-"
Her father cut her off with a disgusted huff. Myka felt herself tense as she waited for the denigrating remarks that were due to follow, but her mother was confusingly wearing a smile.
"It went off didn't it?" her mother said. "You've met your match? I knew it." She tapped Myka's father on the arm again. "I told you it would be when she was a junior."
"It's not like she kept us in the loop," her father replied. "She always has that band on covering it up so we can't see."
Myka's hand automatically went to her wrist band. Her cheeks burned.
"Yeah, it... it went off."
"Well, honey, that's wonderful!" her mom said. "Come sit down. Tell us all about him."
"It's a her, actually." Myka carefully sat down on the lone arm chair in the room. The last thing she needed was her father to snap at her for plopping down too heavily.
"Oh, well that's fine, too. Right, Warren?" her mom looked pointedly at her father while Myka clenched her fists in her lap.
"I don't care if she's with a girl," her father said. "Maybe it'll mean she'll be more sensible about everything."
Myka didn't know what that meant. Was it a reference to Sam? How she hadn't been sensible and thought her TiMER would have matched with him? Maybe her father thought the only reason she even had a TiMER was because she'd liked a boy. It probably looked that way from his angle. Never mind that everyone her age had a TiMER, and it would have been stranger if she hadn't gotten one.
"You're not going to try to rearrange your schedule so you can have the same classes are you?" her father demanded. "Or skip school to make out? Because I don't care what that device says, school comes first."
Myka was shaking her head before he'd even finished. "I'm not going to do any of that. I'm not going to skip school." Helena had joined the cryptography club after they were matched, but Myka hadn't arranged that. That was Helena's choice and then Claudia had staged some sort of walk-out when Artie had refused - but Myka hadn't altered anything so she and Helena could be together.
"Who is this girl anyway? How are you just now meeting her?"
"Um, she's new."
"She's super hot," Tracy said suddenly.
Myka gritted her teeth at her sister choosing now to butt in. Tracy crossed the room to lean against the armrest next to their mom. Their mom shooed her and redirected her to sit down on the couch properly.
"She's not hot," Myka said.
"Well, that's not nice to say of your One."
Myka glared at her sister. Didn't she know their father wouldn't appreciate comments like 'she's hot'?
"Does she get good grades?"
Myka looked at her father. Truthfully, she hadn't known Helena enough to know what grades she got, and judging by Helena's self-admitted lack of discipline when it came to homework, straight A's weren't a guarantee, but she nodded her head anyway. "She was placed in my physics class."
Her father seemed a little appeased. Or at least not more angry. "Smart?"
"Yes," Myka said. "She's incredibly smart."
"What college is she going to?"
"Warren, they just met," her mother said. "She's not going to know that."
Tell them everything, Myka. "We didn't just meet."
Two sharp stares hit her while her sister winced between them.
Myka took a breath. "The match didn't happen today. It actually happened earlier."
Oh yeah, that was definitely fury on her father's face.
She rushed on. "I didn't want to say anything right away because I didn't even know her yet. I wouldn't have been able to answer your questions or even say if I liked her or not. I didn't know what she was like yet."
"You still should have told us," her mom said. "I imagine that's part of the fun: getting to know someone you already know you're going to spend the rest of your life with."
Myka felt sick at the idea. She leaned more towards the opinion that TiMERs put too much pressure on relationships, especially now that she was the one matched.
"Besides we want to get to know her too. When can we meet her?"
Her father spoke first. "Will her parents be at the conference tomorrow?"
"Her uncle should be," Myka said. "She doesn't live with her parents."
Her father's eyes narrowed in suspicion, but he had already switched his focus back to the news and didn't say anything more. Myka decided this was a good opportunity to escape.
"I should go finish my work."
She tried to rush out, Tracy following quickly behind her, but her mom called out:
"No wait. Come back and tell us more about her."
Myka stopped in the doorway. She wracked her brain for a valid excuse to get out of this conversation, but came up short.
"Can I still leave to do my homework?" Tracy asked.
"Yes, get it done," their father snapped.
"Okay but I need Myka's help on history. Ms. Culby likes to put weird questions on the exams, and Myka still remembers all her tricks."
Thank you, Tracy.
Their mother frowned, but she said, "Oh, okay. Myka, we'll just have to meet your girl tomorrow night."
"Okay."
She fled.
Tracy followed her down the hall. "I don't know what you're so worried about. They've already met her and liked her. Mom's still gushing about you making a new friend." She giggled. "Heh, 'friend'," she said using air quotes. "Get it?"
"Shut up." Myka opened the door to her bedroom.
"Oh no wait," Tracy gave a too-dramatic pause. "Gal pals."
Myka glared at the closing bedroom door and her sister's retreating giggles. Not funny, Tracy. Not funny at all.
Only a few students still showed up to parent-teacher conferences in high school, and of those who came, even fewer lingered beyond their scheduled time. But Myka and Tracy had always been dragged along to parent-teacher conferences, and Pete had been to so many parent-teacher nights during his early school years that he claimed it was weird if he didn't waste the night hanging around the school. ("Besides school is so much cooler at night. Maybe if we held classes at night, I'd pay attention better.") So Pete always came early or stayed late to hang with Myka while her parents made the rounds.
Helena was there tonight too. Myka wasn't sure if she'd been planning on coming anyway or had decided to come after she'd learned Myka would be there, but either way Myka was grateful. Helena was a good distraction from her panic even if she was also the source of her panic.
"You told your parents, then?" Helena said. "That means I'll have to tell mine. I'm sure yours will want to speak with them."
"You haven't told your parents yet?" Myka asked.
"I haven't," Helena said, putting an emphasis on the I. "It was none of their business. Doesn't mean they didn't already know, though. Blasted Charles."
Myka pushed back deeper into the wall she was leaning against and looked down the empty hallway. "Yeah my parents will want to speak to yours. They'll want to speak to your uncle too if they haven't found him already."
"Oh, that will be fine. Caturanga makes an excellent acquaintance."
"Aww, you two are so cute," Pete said from across the hall. He waved his hands between her and Helena. "Stressing over the parents meeting each other - that's so romantic. I wish I had a girlfriend."
"We're not-" but Pete had already returned to bouncing some small ball against the floor (it looked like one of those prizes from a gumball machine) and Myka didn't know how to finish that argument. Seriously one make-out session (casual! casual make-out session) and a TiMER match did not a girlfriend make. Could people just back off?
"I suppose you could go through the all the motions now with someone if you're really yearning for it," Helena said.
"Can't." Pete bounced the ball off the floor at an angle towards the wall. "Amanda won't go out with me."
"Amanda?" Helena scrunched her nose.
"Senior on the volleyball team," Myka said. "About my height, blonde hair."
"Oh. Oh! I think she's in my English class. Amanda Cole?"
"Ding ding ding!" Pete placed his finger on his nose and pointed at Helena. Then he placed his hands over his chest and pretended to swoon. "Ugh, be still my heart."
"She is gorgeous," Helena said.
"Right?" Pete said. "Straight from the lesbian's mouth."
"I'm not a lesbian."
Myka hit her head back against the wall. "God, Pete."
"What? I didn't know, sorry. How was I supposed to know?"
"How about you not be an ass?" Myka glared, and then quickly looked away. She knew Pete was making some sort of 'what are you going to do' face towards Helena, and she didn't want to see it. Didn't want to think about who was responsible for her outburst and who might need to apologize. She just focused on the long hallway stretching out to her right.
Someone's mother came off the stairs, fixing her grip on some papers she'd been given during the meeting. She turned the corner for the nearest exit and disappeared. Myka hadn't recognized her.
Where were her parents right now? Which teacher were they talking to? Had they ran into Jane or Caturanga yet?
"At least I had a chance to make a good impression on your parents before this all came out," Helena said. "Perhaps we'll be lucky and they'll not believe anything my parents choose to share."
Myka frowned at that, but ultimately dismissed it. If her parents wound up disliking Helena, she was certain it would be due to her own actions.
She wondered if she could take comfort in the high probability that her parents would hate her too.
Suddenly her parents were in the hallway. Myka blinked. They were marching straight for her, and the look on her father's face made her blood run cold.
"We're going," he said. His hand locked around her upper arm in a vice grip before she could react and yanked her from the wall.
"Ow, what are-"
"Move."
"Myka?" Helena called out in alarm. Myka clenched her jaw shut and didn't glance back. She tried to appear she was walking away by her own volition and not being bodily dragged through the halls of her high school in front of her friends, but it was difficult. Especially when her father was just tall enough to feel like he was looming over her. His steel grip on her arm hurt. It pressed against muscle and nerves in ways they weren't supposed to be pressed.
"Dad, let go," Myka murmured. Her heart pounded hard enough for her to feel queasy. "Dad, please."
"Where's your sister?" he asked.
"I don't-" No, she did know, she did. Thank god, she did. "In the cafeteria."
He shoved her towards the cafeteria side door, the one students were never allowed in or out of during school hours, and checked inside.
"Tracy," he said when he spotted her. "Let's go."
Tracy took one look at them and immediately hopped off the table she'd been sitting on. She was out in the hall in less than a second.
"What's going on?" she said quietly to their mother, who didn't look much happier than their father.
"Let's just go." Their mother rubbed a hand on Tracy's back while still pushing her forward.
Myka watched the motion longingly and winced as her father clenched her arm tighter to shove her forward.
When they were almost to the doors, Myka risked a glance backwards. She instantly regretted it. Helena and Pete were still watching the whole ordeal. At least she was too far away to read their expressions.
Outside, Myka pleaded again, "Just let go. Please, I can walk."
"Get in the car." Her father shoved her hard, but let go. Myka stumbled for a heart thudding moment, feet scraping against the loose rocks in the school parking lot, but thankfully she kept herself from falling.
Shaking, Myka walked the last few steps to the car and waited for her father to unlock the doors.
"What happened?" Tracy asked once they were in the car. Their father slammed his door shut and whirled in his seat.
"Three weeks!" he shouted at Myka. "You've been lying to us for three weeks about your damn TiMER!"
Myka bit her lip but didn't reply. She felt her phone buzz with a text in her pocket.
"But she told you the match happened a while ago," Tracy said. "She was waiting until she knew more than her One's name to tell you about it."
She wished she could flick her sister's leg or shake her head at her to stop talking, but their father was staring right at her, and honestly it was taking all of Myka's mental powers to keep her father from noticing the incessant text messages that were buzzing in her pocket. Not now, Pete.
"She wanted to befriend her first cause she was being chivalrous and old fashioned."
"Tracy, shut up," Myka hissed.
"Don't you talk to your sister right now," their father said. "You're going to look at me."
Myka snapped her eyes back up to the front.
"Now where do you get off lying to us for three weeks?" He rushed on. "And Helena Wells? We've had that girl in our house. You had her spend the night."
Tracy stared at her in shock. Myka ignored her.
"You didn't think to tell us then?" her father continued. "No, of course not. It was all about you. Had to have your precious girlfriend with you all because of some damn clock in your wrist! Never mind that you're underage and still living under my roof."
"Nothing happened," Myka said. "We were just friends. Mom invited her-"
"How dare you blame your mother for your behavior. It was your responsibility to tell us when that thing went off and instead you lied to us. For weeks!" He suddenly twisted back in his seat and put the car into gear while muttering, "Of all the unbelievable, spoiled, selfish things-"
"Nothing happened," Myka stressed again. "We had just met, we're just friends. We didn't do
anything." Her phone buzzed again. For god's sake, stop!
"No, you just lied to us, right in our face. You snuck around behind our backs for weeks. She even took you out of work one day," he looked over his shoulder at her. "What were you two doing then?"
"We went to the library." She was ashamed to hear her voice so strained. It was too high like she was about to cry. Myka couldn't cry now. Not in front of her father.
Her father snorted like he didn't believe her answer. Myka glanced over at her mother, but she was just staring through the windshield , shaking her head. Now the tears were building behind her eyes. Myka bit her lip and stared out at the black night beyond her window. She tried to focus on the feel of the seat beneath her hands, on the feel of the seams holding the leather pieces together.
Why did things always have to go to hell with her family? Why couldn't it ever just be easy?
Her father had boiled down to a hard, cold anger by the time they reached home. They climbed the stairs up to the apartment, and he only pointed and said, "Get to your rooms," once they were inside. Myka fled immediately, but Tracy hovered in the hall.
"How did the rest of the night go, with the school stuff?" she asked
"It went fine," their mom murmured. "We'll talk about it in the morning."
Myka could feel every thudding heartbeat in her stomach as well as her chest. She still trembled when she reached for the handle of her bedroom door.
"You know it's not a big deal Myka didn't tell you about her match right away," Tracy said. Myka spun around in fear. "It's her soulmate. She has the right to handle it how she wants."
"That right doesn't extend to lying to her parents or manipulating us to let her girlfriend spend the night," their father shouted.
Tracy foolishly didn't back down. "It wasn't like they weren't matched. You know some parents let their kids spend every night with their One."
"Well you don't have some parents, you have me, and I'm not raising my daughters to be sluts."
Rage and pain sliced through Myka in equal parts. She was tempted to lash out with "like I would ever do anything when you were in the house" but that was suicide. It was worse than Tracy recklessly pushing the subject like she was.
Tracy looked like she was going to keep pushing the subject too, but she luckily glanced Myka's way. Myka mouthed 'shut up' and Tracy visibly clenched her jaw.
"Okay, sorry," she murmured. Their father let her escape into her room without further shouting because apologies always worked with Tracy. Myka felt another flare of anger before everything was snuffed by her father turning his eyes on her.
"Get in your room and if I hear another peep out of you, I will have you downstairs counting and recounting inventory for the rest of the night."
Myka swallowed. "Yes, sir." She shut herself in her bedroom.
The room felt foreign. Normally it was her safe haven, her sanctuary, but tonight she was too tense and fearful of what was going on outside her walls. She could hear pacing footsteps and low muttering, but she couldn't make out the words.
Her phone buzzed again in her pocket. Safely alone (for now), Myka pulled it out and checked her messages. Half a dozen unread: two from Pete and the rest from Helena. Dread sunk into her gut. She didn't want to talk to them now. She wished they hadn't been at the school at all.
Myka cleared the notifications without reading them and then switched her phone to silent. She plugged it into the charger on her desk and moved to sit on her bed.
Wait. Her father might notice the flashing light if they decided to text her again. Myka turned around and flipped her phone face down. Her father might be suspicious of that too, but at least it wasn't a blinking light.
Finally, she kicked off her shoes and crawled up to sit in the center of her bed. She pulled her knees up to her chest and watched the door. She wanted to give in and cry, but she couldn't yet. Her father would check back in at some point - two minutes from now, two hours, Myka didn't know - and when he did she couldn't be crying. Or reading, or messing with her phone, or doing anything that looked like she was disregarding why she was in trouble in the first place.
He also might have been serious about making her count inventory tonight. He might decide she deserved a harsher punishment than the grounding that was coming or maybe she wouldn't look contrite enough or she'd look too lazy when he opened the door to check on her. Myka had to be ready, so she held herself on the center of her bed and listened. And waited. And refused to let herself cry.
An hour and forty minutes passed according to her alarm clock. Myka was just considering if it was safe to go to bed when her door opened. Her father stood in the doorway.
"I told you to go to bed already," he snapped. "Hurry up. I won't be dragging your butt out of bed in the morning if you can't get up on your own."
Myka scrambled to her feet as he slammed the door shut. The silence that followed wasn't exactly a relief. She'd still managed to get herself into more trouble.
Quietly, Myka readied for bed and shut off her light. She waited a few moments, but the place stayed quiet. Her parents must have gone to bed too.
She flipped her phone over to check it one last time. Another two new texts lit up on the display. One was from Helena, again. The other was from Tracy.
Myka frowned and checked Tracy's text.
I can't believe you were stupid enough to have your One spend the night. You must really be in love.
Myka's frown deepened. That's not what happened at all, Tracy. Why do you always get everything wrong?
She ignored Helena's text and set her phone back on the desk. Then she crawled into bed.
It would be easy to think about all the shitty things that had happened tonight. Think about all the ways she screwed up, all the ways her life was going to suck in the upcoming days and weeks. She could think about how when other kids were matched, they got gushy celebrations or quiet introduction dinners, while she got berated. She could think about these things, but she wasn't going to, because Myka wasn't going to cry tonight.
Her chest seized and her vision blurred. Myka bit her lip to stop the shaking, but still a tear slipped free. Then another one. Then several more.
She choked down a sob. Rolling to her side, she curled herself up small and tight and clutched hard at her pillow. The tears continued to fall. It wasn't fair. When someone's match happened, it was supposed to be happy. Frightening, but happy. It wasn't supposed to be shouting and anger and feeling small and useless and like the worst failure on the planet.
Myka muffled another sob and buried her head deeper into her pillow. She continued fighting off the tears until she fell asleep.