10. Settling In
Cousland? I frown as the name stirs a half-remembered rumor to the surface. "Aren't the Couslands-"
"The family Arl Howe massacred shortly before Ostagar, yes," Anora interrupts.
"Then how exactly is he still alive? I heard no one but the oldest son escaped."
"I'll...I'll let Hayden be the one to tell you, Commander. It's not my story to share."
I can respect that, so I nod before gesturing in the direction of the keep. "Very well. If you'll come this way I'm sure a guard can show you to suitable rooms and make sure you're comfortable. I have things that require my attention." Things like the Joining, finding out how many soldiers survived, what kind of repairs this place needs. Things I want to ignore long enough to face after a good night's sleep, but we need Wardens, we need to defend and repair the keep, so there's no chance of my wish being granted. I call a guard over and instruct him to show Anora and the rest of her party to rooms in the keep.
"Yes, Commander." The man bows to me, and then even lower to Anora. "This way, Your Majesty."
As they walk off, I sigh and close my eyes, savoring the brief moment of peace before following. Time for the Joining. Let's get this sodding over with...
oOo
I have to fight back a grin at Oghren's reaction to the concoction new Wardens drink. Only he could drink that thoroughly disgusting...brew without passing out. I agree whole-heartedly with Varel's sighed "Maker help us all..." after Oghren hands the goblet back, even as I offer the seneschal a 'That's Oghren' shrug.
Anders does not look happy about the idea of drinking darkspawn blood. "That's it?"
"Varel nods. "That is it, yes."
The apostate shrugs. "Well, alright. But if I wake up a week from now on a ship bound for Rivain in nothing but my smallclothes and a tattoo on m' forehead, I'm blaming you."
A giggle stirs in the pit of my stomach, but the worry for both his and Mhairi's survival overrides it and it doesn't reach my lips. Maker, please, I need someone like Mhairi. And a healer... My injured hand throbs at that precise moment, reminding me I still need to have it looked at. I clench the other hand into a fist as Anders lifts the goblet to his lips. Please. My worry for the two of them almost equals my worry for Jowan at his Joining.
I almost go limp with relief when Anders' eyes roll back into his head and he drops the same way I did at my Joining and Jowan did at his. The healer made it...now I just need the warrior to survive... I ignore the pain and clench both hands into fists, as Mhairi takes the chalice with an excited gleam in her eyes.
"I have awaited this moment,"she murmurs, raising it to drink.
I feel like screaming when she chokes, collapsing to her knees and then falling still on the floor. Not another one! Daveth's face springs to mind. I don't know why he's lingered this long yet the recruits who died in Jowan's Joining haven't so much, but it's him that I see as my jaw tenses and I fight the urge to swear.
Varel gives her body a regretful look. "Poor Mhairi. She would have made a fine Warden, Commander."
"I know," I reply softly. Maker keep you, Mhairi.
The seneschal sighs. "To business, then. Open the doors!"
The sound of quarreling reaches my ears even before the guard captain and an older woman walk in the room. I listen without speaking as the cross the room to where Varel and I stand. They both have valid points about what needs doing. This is already shaping into a nightmare. Two different directions to go in the first five minutes. Maker, give me strength.
"Garavel! Woolsey!" Varel barks. "The Commander has had a long day."
One of the longest in my life, I think as I give the man a grateful look. Their sniping was making my head hurt.
Woolsey wants the Pilgrim's Path, the supply road from Denerim, cleared so the keep will remain supplied. Garavel has a hunter's report of what may be an entrance to the Deep Roads-scary thought, that-and Varel informs me of a missing Warden investigating some reports of darkspawn sightings.
Too much! I feel like burying my head in my hands or locking myself in my room. Or both. There's only so much one person can do! I do learn that Vigil's Keep is simply called the Vigil by those stationed here. Maybe because it's the only unimportant-in the grand scheme-thing I learn, I remember that the best. The rest of it is already starting to blur together.
"I'm going to check on our guests," I say as a way of excusing myself. I find the guard I tasked with getting the group settled and ask where he settled all of them.
He points out the hallway. "These rooms, Commander. The queen and 'er betrothed are in the middle rooms, with the guards going out towards the end of the 'allway."
"Thank you, soldier. Report to the seneschal and see if there's anything else that needs doing."
"Yes, ser. As y' say, ser." He heads for the seneschal's post in the throne room and I head down the hallway. When I reach the middle, I pick a door and knock.
A muffled "One moment" reaches my ears, followed shortly by the sound of someone turning the knob. "Commander," Hayden greets me.
I was really sort of looking for Anora's room, but Hayden will work. "Ser Cousland."
"Please, the titles are for court. Call me Hayden."
"Then you call me Rahna, except perhaps in front of my men?" I return, arching one eyebrow.
"Sounds fair." He nods. "Did you need something?"
"Just wanted to make sure your group had all settled in alright." I lean against the wall.
"Well, I can't speak for everyone, of course, but I'm managing just fine." He gives a wry smile. "The irony of visiting this place after everything that happened...I can't help but laugh."
"I have to admit to some curiosity as to how you survived," I confess. "If you don't mind telling me, of course. I heard the whole family aside from the oldest son was killed."
"They probably thought that," Hayden replies, rubbing the back of his neck as he sits on the edge of his bed. After he pushes his discarded armor out of the way. "Have a seat. This is kind of complicated." He motions toward the desk chair.
"You have my full attention," I promise as I pull the chair out and turn it to face him.
"When Howe's men attacked, Fergus was leading our men to Ostagar, which is how he survived. My father had plans to follow with Arl Howe when his remaining men arrived, and would have left me in charge of the castle. I have to admit; I was excited. That amount of trust spoke volumes about my father's faith in me. However, the Arl's men arrived that night, when most of our soldiers were already gone. On purpose." His hands curl into fists so tight, all the color seeps from his knuckles. "The bastards killed my brother's wife and son, all the servants, the guards, everyone." He shakes his head, standing to pace toward the window. "I tried, I really did, to get what was left of my family out of there, but my father was wounded, and my mother wouldn't leave him, and when I went to find my sister-" his jaw tightens with rage, "-Howe's men got to her before I did."
"Oh." I can see in his eyes how that ended.
"When I found her...what those bastards did to her...I'd never understood the concept of 'blind rage' until I found Rachel's body."
"How old was she?"
"Seventeen. She had a crush on one of our knights, was a pretty fair archer, and very good at lockpicking. Used to say she got bored between etiquette lessons." Hayden smiles sadly before returning to his story. "When I met up with my parents near the servants' entrance, I couldn't tell them. I just told them she was dead and I'd killed the men responsible. They made me leave. Alone." He looks over at me, the helpless, pained rage as clear as I can imagine it being that night. "Tricked me into starting down the passage and then my mother bolted the door from her side. I ran. Didn't have much choice. I couldn't do anything.
"I hid near the far end for almost three days before Howe's men relaxed their guard enough for me to really escape. I headed for Ostagar, planning to tell Fergus what happened and appeal to King Cailan to bring Howe to justice." He smiles ruefully. "Though the deaths I imagine the man dying on my way there went more with 'vengence' than 'justice'. There were moments I hated him so fiercely I felt like I was drowning in it."
"I know what that feels like," I muttered, the memory of what Vaughan did to Shianni still all too clear.
"Anyway, I reached Ostagar two days after the battle. Darkspawn and rotting corpses far as the eye could see. I spent almost two weeks skulking around the darkspawn and trying to find Fergus. I still have nightmares about some of the things I saw, but I never found my brother. I had no idea if he was dead, or had been delayed or what.
"So I went to Denerim; joined Kylon's guards, and spent the year you were fighting the Blight plotting to kill Howe. And then just as I was ironing out the last of the kinks, the city explodes with the news some elf, one of the last Grey Wardens broke into Howe's estate, killed him, and attempted to kidnap the queen. I didn't believe the last part. No group already facing so much suspicion would risk that kind of animosity. But I will admit to getting far too drunk and cursing whoever it was that beat me to Howe." He gives me an apologetic smile. "Sorry."
"No apology necessary," I chuckle. "I know what that kind of drive feels like, and I don't blame you for being pissed."
"Since I'd already found out Thomas-his son-was dead, heard rumors to the same effect about his daughter, and his oldest seemed to have vanished off the face of Thedas, I found myself completely stymied in my plans for revenge. I was very, very surly for a couple of weeks until one of my friends in the guard told me he'd seen Fergus in the city, staying at what was left of the Gnawed Noble. Needless to say, I tore on over there to reunite with my brother. He'd thought I was dead, of course. The reports all said that everyone in Castle Cousland was dead. We went back to Highever to rebuild after An-the queen's coronation."
I grin at his slip-up. The look in his eyes when he talks about her... That's how Alistair used to look at me. "You can call her Anora around me, Hayden."
"Alright, then. Fergus felt he needed to stay at the castle as the teryn, so he sent me on any diplomatic trips to Denerim or wherever."
"And one of those is when things started to progress between you and Anora?"
He nods. "Our conversations stretched longer, grew to cover topics not intended at the start, and, honestly, I enjoyed them more than I admitted to her. She was the one to propose a political marriage, but I'd be lying if I gave the political saavy as my reason for agreeing."
"You love her?"
He meets my eyes and replies with a simple, "I do."
"I'm happy for you." The memories of Alistair and Nelaros are slamming into me so hard I feel almost dizzy. "Thank...thank you for explaining to me. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go collapse from exhaustion for a few hours, before I pass out where I stand." I offer a shaky smile and hope he buys my excuse.
"I imagine your day hasn't exactly been relaxing," Hayden chuckles. "I'll tell Anora you checked in if she gets upset."
"Thank you," I mutter in relief. "See you in the morning, then." I leave and make my way to my room, the next hallway over, down near the end. As Commander, I get the Arl's former rooms. Note to self: redecorate at the soonest opportunity, I shudder, taking in the 'decorative' weapons lining the walls, and the portrait of the Arl sneering down from over the fireplace. I don't need a reminder of that man.
My injured fingers twinge as I pull off my armor, but I'm too tired to do more than smear more numbing potion on them and rewrap the bandages before tumbling on top of the blankets and swear to get Anders to take care of it in the morning.
A/N: So there's Hayden's story. And yes, Rachel was another of my Couslands, she just never made it out of the origin before disappearing to a deleting spree along with two Aeducans, a Brosca and an Amell. =P I think his story makes sense, but if you spot any flaws due to me forgetting something-I'm bingeing on DAII at the moment so Origins is a bit fuzzy-feel free to point them out. Anders and I are also brainstorming like mad to come up with a better name for Dog. Rahna issued him a challenge, and he doesn't want to concede defeat. =D