A/N: And so this little bastard just hit double figures. I feel like a proud mother.

Sorry about the small amount of canon character appearance in this, it's just that I couldn't really think of a good way to have them in here during the introduction of Demi. They'll be back soon, promise! :)

Disclaimer: Tried to bribe Kishi to let me have ownership of Sasuke and Itachi. Apparently he doesn't take pounds…

-x-

(First Person, Katie!)

Mid-way through eating my sandwich on a Tuesday afternoon, there was lots of things I didn't expect to happen.

One of those things that I didn't expect was having my front door booted open and an overexcited pair of boobs on legs come barging into my calm front room like her butt was on fire or something equally exciting.

Well, it happened, and it was pretty normal. What did surprise me was that in fact, her butt wasn't on fire.

Shame.

"Hello bitches and Matt! Your idol has arrived! Now where the fuck are you all so I can rape you?"

The ham sandwich I was happily chewing on was cruelly knocked out of my hands as Mel leapt up from her seat beside me and screamed at the intruder. "Holy Jashin it has been too long, my wonderful lesbian lover! Get your ass in here and hug me, woman!"

As I mournfully watched my sandwich fall to the floor in slow-motion, I suddenly snapped out of it at the sound of 'lesbian lover'.

When those words came from Melissa's mouth, I immediately knew who was standing on the other side of the room without even looking up.

Demi was home.

I gave up on internally whining about wasting a good sandwich and looked up to see if it really was her, and sure enough, it was Demi in all of her emo glory.

Wait. Did she have-

Yep. The girl had blue hair.

Demi and Mel squealed and ran at each other from opposite ends of the room, grinning crazily all the while. At the mid-way point, they collided, and Demi, being the taller and therefore heavier one of the pair, knocked Mel over onto her back in a horizontal glomp.

"Hello to you too," I muttered with a smirk. When I saw her grin directed at me, I hurriedly added, "Nonononono, don't fucking rape me too! No bitch, get the fuck away - ah, screw it, get over here!"

Suddenly, I found myself joining my long lost sandwich on the floor, except unlike the wonderful item of food, I had a best friend crushing my lungs by latching onto me koala-style.

Whoa, déja vú... (1)

I laughed but tried to shake her off, which only made her slip down my body and cling to my leg with a snicker. (2) "Demi, let go now."

"Don' wanna," she replied, shaking her blue head.

In case you were wondering, no, Demi didn't have fucking bright blue hair before she left to go to Wales, hence the fact that I was completely shocked when I first saw her. She'd been telling me that she planned to get it done for the past few weeks, but I never actually believed her, especially since her mum is stupidly strict for a mother of a 17-year-old girl like her.

I guess I should've seen it coming really, I mean, she got her lip pierced when she was 13 simply to annoy 'The Bitch Mother', so it wasn't really an unexpected thing for her to do.

I huffed and swung my other leg, hitting Demi in a ticklish spot on her side. She jerked and squeaked before releasing my calf in favour for spazzing about on the carpet before rolling over to glare up at me. "Well that was a nice thing to do to someone you haven't seen in ten days."

I smiled sweetly as I flopped back into my beanbag. "So is raping me as soon as you set foot through the door."

"Ah, touché."

"You really need to get over your Naruto Abridged quote obsession, you know that?"

"Yes I do, and we both know that will never happen, so stop wasting oxygen."

At that point, Melissa decided to come over and straddle Demi's back to get our attention. "You guys forgot about me, didn't you?" she pouted, giving me the full force of the puppy dog face.

Yet again, I melted. Stupid fucking cute faces...

"No we didn't, we were just too busy showing our love to each other with sarcasm, is that such a crime?" Demi looked around to the girl on her back and clutched her heart like she was hurt.

"No, sarcasm is awesome, so it's allowed," Mel giggled, poking Demi in the forehead.

Mel stopped her giggling abruptly. "Huh, I didn't notice you dyed your hair."

Immediately, I introduced my palm to my forehead.

You know the way I always joke about her being retarded? Well yeah, I think it might actually be true.

She probably got dropped down the stairs as a baby or some other shit.

"Well somebody's especially observant today," I deadpanned. "How the fuck can you not notice somebody's previously brown hair is suddenly electric blue?!"

Mel shrugged and rolled off of Demi to lie on her back on the rug, doing a full-body stretch as she spoke. "I dunno. Guess I was just too happy to see her to notice."

Demi grinned and poked Mel's stomach, laughing when she twitched and scowled. "Aw, did someone miss me?"

"Definitely not me," a voice grunted from the doorway.

We all turned to see Matt leaning against the doorframe, smirking down at the two other weirdos I call my best friends lying on the floor.

Demi smirked. "Ah, so the cave troll is here too. And how did you recognise me anyway? You could only see the back of my head from that angle."

He flicked his fringe from his face. "I could hear your annoying voice from the kitchen, and I don't know anyone other than you who's stupid enough to dye their hair such a disgusting colour."

"What? How dare you say such a thing about the wonder of Forget-Me-Not Blue?" Demi mock gasped.

"Wonder? The only thing I'm wondering right now is why anyone would even think about using that dye on themselves for anything other than a dare," Matt snorted.

"Charity event?" I supplied.

Eyes were rolled.

Instead of a reply, Demi jumped back up to her feet before dusting herself off and running around to grab onto Matt's back, piggyback-style. "What can I say, you only live once. Plus, I know you missed me, so stop denying it, you miserable fuck."

"Whatever, keep on dreaming," Matt mumbled, rolling his eyes as he tried to pry the rapist child off of his back while Mel and I laughed at his misery.

Since it was Tuesday, Matt had had two whole days to get out of his emo corner and stop whining about the kiss, but he'd only actually used half an hour. Weirdly enough, when Mel confronted him about his freak out, he'd acted like nothing had happened.

Like I said, the man is strange.

If you were wondering why the Akatsuki weren't around, it was because they were training in the backyard like they'd been doing all day and the day before. Even though they had no chakra, and it was in the middle of one of the coldest Februarys in decades, they insisted they keep up with their taijutsu so they didn't get 'rusty'.

That may make them sound quite obsessed with their training, but as I can say from my own experience, you do end up getting a bit shit if you don't practise in a long while.

Back in the real world, Mel and I were still watching Matt and Demi bicker in the corner of the room, giggling every now and again at some of the questions she was asking him.

"So Matt, has your tiny penis grown at all? Last I heard it still resembled a mutated raisin."

"Fuck you! You've never seen it anyway, and you never will!"

Demi chuckled evilly. "Oh, haven't I?"

Matt froze. "You didn't."

"Luckily for you, I'm not into geeky cave trolls with manboobs, so no, I haven't been down there," she grinned and wiggled her eyebrows. "But hey, if you want me to, I'm sure that can be arrang - ow."

The blue haired pervert rubbed her black minskirt clad ass from where she had been roughly thrown off of Matt's back and frowned up at him, wagging a finger. "Now, now, violence is not the answer, Matty-poo."

Matt growled before flipping her off and storming out of the room in a huff. "And for your information, I do not have manboobs, and I'm not a cave troll! You're just pissy because I'm smarter than you!"

"Asshole!" Demi yelled. When she was sure he was out of earshot, she spoke again. "Well that worked well."

I raised an eyebrow as she crawled over and plopped herself down on the sofa Mel wasn't sprawled on. She obviously took it as a sign to continue as she explained. "I wanted to get him out of here so you guys can catch me up on everything, and I couldn't have him here to ruin our girly conversation! I bet I've missed so much!"

Oh, she has no idea.

I laughed nervously and scratched at an irritating dry patch of skin on my cheek. "Well, I'm not really sure how to tell you this-"

"We found a box of kittens in the driveway who actually turned out to be the Akatsuki under some ROOT jutsu, and now they're living here with us," Mel blurted out. When I glared at her, she flashed a sheepish smile. "Sorry?"

"Retard!" I hissed. Before I could go on a mini rant about idiot emos who can't keep their mouths shut, Demi appeared in front of me, smiling far too innocently for my liking. I stared at her suspiciously.

"Where are they?" she asked calmly. I made a hesitant noise. "You'll have to show me them soon enough, I do live here too, in case you'd forgotten. So I repeat. Where. Are. They."

I hadn't forgotten, I'd just conveniently ignored that fact for the previous 30 seconds.

I sighed, resigned. "They're out back training."

As she grinned and began to pull away, I grabbed her arm. "But you're not going out of my sight."

Demi rolled her blue eyes. "Yes, mother. What's the worst I would do, jump them?" I gave her a look. "Hey, don't give me that shit! Even I'm not crazy enough to attack a fucking Akatsuki member."

"Hey! Are you calling me crazy?" Mel protested.

"Yes," I replied.

"You suck," she pouted. Demi opened her smirking mouth to make a comment, but Mel cut her off. "Not the time for innuendos, you."

"Spoilsport," the bluenette said, before she took on a look of realisation. "Wait a minute, does that mean you've got to hug one of the Akatsuki?"

"Not just one, two," I said.

Demi's eyes widened. "No way, jealous!"

Mel poked out her tongue. "Good for you. Now come on and meet them anyway, we warned them you'd be here at some point, so they'll probably be wondering what's up if we don't get out there soon."

Demi jumped up from her seat and grinned. "You don't have to tell me twice."

-x-

(Backyard, Third Person!)

Itachi swung his leg around, attempting to sweep out Kisame's legs from underneath him. Unfortunately, the shark man had predicted his move, so dodged just in time and grabbed his partner's ankle, pulling it towards him in an attempt to drag him onto his back. The Uchiha wouldn't fall for that trick, so planted a hand firmly on the ground and twisted himself on it, bringing his free leg around to hit Kisame in the face with a thump.

The blue man released Itachi's opposite ankle as he grabbed his cheek with a wince, where he would no doubt have a bruise the next day. "Damn, Itachi! We were supposed to be going easy on each other!"

Itachi smirked and folded his arms over his chest as he landed back on his feet, panting slightly. "That was going easy on you."

"Tch," Kisame snorted, frowning.

Just as they were about to head over to where Pein was sat with the water, a loud squeal was heard from the door to the house. "Holy shit! Sexy overload! Let me go, Katie, I have to take the Uchiha now!"

"Hell no, you fucking psycho! No raping in my back yard!"

"B-But it's my backyard too! And it's Itachi! Uchiha Itachi!"

"Yes, I know. I've shared a bedroom with him since Saturday."

Demi wiggled her eyebrows suggestively. "Ooh, smooth."

A slap and a whine were heard.

"Not like that, dammit! Why am I friends with a perv like you anyway?"

"Because you'd miss my all-around awesome aura if I wasn't here?"

"No!"

While Katie and a blue haired girl were distracted by their arguing, the Akatsuki had stopped fighting with each other in favour of staring in either confusion or because they were completely disturbed by some of the things the latter was saying.

The blue hair wasn't the only thing that stood out in the way the unknown girl looked, so the gang of criminals were looking over her outfit as they waited for the pair to finish their conversation.

Her blue hair was long, layered and straight, reaching to about her shoulder blades, and backcombed a lot at the top to make it have more volume at the roots. The bangs were cut in a deep side part and covered almost all of her forehead, except it was swept from one side and left to join the layers at the side of her face.

Her clothes were... unique, for a lack of a better word, with a black t-shirt adorned with neon and white writing; 'Bring Me The Horizon' being the largest part, spread across her more-than-ample chest. Under her black miniskirt, a pair of plain black tights covered her legs, and she wore a pair of black Converse hi-tops with mismatched star-print laces on her feet. The final piece of clothing she wore other than her backpack was a plain black hoodie rolled to her elbows to expose the many multicoloured bracelets and bands on her wrists. When their gazes made their way up to her face to take in the pale makeup and heavy black eyeliner, they noticed a giant grin spread across said face, aiming their way.

"Katie! Katie, look! The Akatsuki are staring at me! Oh my God this is the best day of my fucking life!"

"Well what do you expect, Demi? Some girl with blue hair walks in and demands to be allowed to rape one of their members," Mel quipped, walking through the doorway and stopping to stand next to the pair.

"Well it's hardly my fault he's so damn rapeable!" Demi exclaimed. She folded her arms over her chest. "Fine, I promise not to attack any of them if you let me go, deal?"

Katie rolled her eyes and released her housemate with a small smile. "Good."

"So this is the Demi chick you were talking to when we first got here?" Hidan spoke from the other end of the garden.

"Yup, the one and only!" she grinned, waving at him. Her smile grew even more when he hesitantly waved back.

"She's not really what I expected from the things I've heard," Sasori commented.

"Me neither, she left with brown hair, and came back with blue," Katie muttered. "Not really something you'd think would happen when someone goes to Wales for a week with their mum."

"In my defence, I only got it done because I was drunk," Demi said, then snickered. "Oh, and because I wanted to see the potato's face when she saw it. Fucking hilarious, I'm telling you."

"Potato? Please don't tell me vegetables have faces in this world," Kisame groaned.

Mel snorted. "Nah, that's just what she calls her mum, because she's convinced she looks like an overgrown spud. As you can tell, she doesn't like her mum much."

"No shit," Katie said. "And she has good reason to hate her, because I hate the bitch too."

"But you hate everyone," Mel pointed out.

"No, I don't hate everyone, just the majority of people our age and below," the ginger corrected. "Matt's the one who hates everybody."

Mel 'ahh'ed and nodded.

What the pair didn't take notice of was that while they were talking, Demi had been inching away from her watchers and closer to Deidara, who was the closest Akatsuki member to her. He was also oblivious, having switched off when the girls got sidetracked, so had grabbed a bottle of water and sat down to rest.

Demi crept ever closer, and just as Katie's recently nicknamed 'Retard Radar' alerted her to the rapist-like behaviour of her friend, she pounced.

Poor Deidara never stood a chance.

He was knocked to the floor immediately, spewing the mouthful of water he was previously about to drink all over the grass as his body collided with the ground, elated teenager latched onto his back. The rest of the Akatsuki burst out laughing at his annoyance, and the only person left unaffected by it seemed to be the glomper herself.

"What the hell is it with me and getting raped by random teenage girls, hmm?!" he screeched. "Do I have a fucking sticker on my back or something?"

Demi leaned down and whispered into his ear. "Nope, I just think it's that aura of sexy you just ooze. Us girls just can't resist, raging hormones and all."

Deidara's eyes widened and he tried to flip her off of him, but to no avail. The girl had attended the same classes Katie had since she was thirteen, so her grip and strength was quite impressive.

"You may try, but you shall never escape from my splendid kung-fu grip!" she exclaimed, sounding far too Gai-like for Katie's liking. "You are now my bitch, and my sex slave, among many other degrading things that may or may not give me pleasure."

"No way! He's mine!" Mel frowned, yanking Demi's electric blue locks back until she released her hold on the blonde.

"And since when was he yours?" Demi replied, raising an eyebrow and planting her hands on her hips once she was back on her feet.

At that point, Katie decided to act on a potentially cruel and humiliating idea that had wormed its way into her mind. "Since they played tonsil hockey on Sunday."

As soon as she finished her statement, she didn't regret it.

The entire party of people fell silent, directing their shocked gazes to the now furiously blushing and awkwardly shifting pair.

"No way!" Hidan yelled. "Fluffy tried it on with her? She's way out of his fucking league, the lucky prick!"

"From what I saw, it wasn't just him, it was completely returned too," Sasori chipped in, smirking as the blushes slowly increased to almost 'explosion-of-bodily-fluid-imminent' levels.

It seemed like the puppet had a secret love for gossiping. Katie made a mental note of that fact for the future.

"Well I can see where I'm not welcome. I hope you two are happy!" Demi sniffed. She quickly recovered, however, by turning her attention to Hidan in the form of a sultry glance. "Hey babe, since pretty-boy's clearly spoken for, how about we hook up later? There's a bedroom with our names on i- ow, dammit! Katie that hurt!"

Katie gritted her teeth. "I hope so. Now shut up and stop offering sex to the criminals. You haven't even spoken to half of them yet and you're already being creepy."

Demi shrugged. "What can I say, being creepy is in my nature."

"You can say that again, un," Deidara muttered, rubbing his chest where he'd belly-flopped the ground.

Nobody had seemed to pay attention to the calculating stare that 'Tobi' was giving Demi from a secluded area of the garden, where he had previously been attempting to plan ways to create a reverse jutsu while still under the guise of his happy-go-lucky alter ego.

I have a bad feeling about this girl... he thought, frowning slightly to himself. I don't know what it is, but there's something about the way she acts that makes me feel a little uneasy. I'll be keeping a close eye on you, Demi. I can't have a weak little brat like you interfering with our plans...

"So!" Demi shouted, clapping her hands together and looking around at the group. "Since there's suddenly an awkward silence hanging in the air, who wants popcorn? I won a load in a raffle on holiday."

At that, everyone's ears suddenly perked up.

"Sweet or salted?" Katie asked.

"Either," she replied. "And yes, Katie, I got some toffee popcorn too."

Katie whooped and fist bumped Demi. "And this is why I share my house with you and nobody else. That and the fact that I doubt I'd be able to live with the boredom of being on my own."

The red haired teen paused. She raised a finger to her chin and started tapping it as she was obviously thinking over something. Eventually, she seemed to come to a conclusion.

With a small smile, Katie asked, "Mel?"

Melissa turned around from her conversation with Deidara. "Hm?"

"Wanna move in with me?"

Melissa's eyes widened to almost scary proportions. "Seriously?"

"Deadly," Katie confirmed.

Mel squealed and sprinted to hug Katie, clearly attempting to smother her with platonic love. "Yes yes yes yes yes!"

"This is my place too, so as long as I don't hear that string of words coming from yours and Dei's room any time soon, you have my blessing too," Demi grinned, wrapping her arms around the pair to create some sort of stupid group hug.

"Don't worry, I'm sharing with them anyway, so I'll make sure the brat stays out of her pants," Sasori chuckled.

"Jeez, Danna!" Deidara shouted, sounding completely mortified. "I'm not trying to get into her pants! You're such an old perv, yeah!"

"Perv?" Demi repeated. "Sasori, my brother!"

With that, she leaped onto the poor unsuspecting man, knocking him to the ground with such a stupid expression that even Itachi had to smother a laugh.

-x-

(Third Person, Later That Night)

"Mel, please tell me you noticed what I did earlier."

Melissa jolted out of her daydreams with a small noise of confusion.

She and Demi were the only two still awake, since it was three in the morning, and they were currently lying on the sofa in their pajamas; Melissa's head in her friend's lap as she finger-combed through her ebony locks. The rest of the group had long since gone to bed, after much teasing from Demi about the sleeping arrangements of Hidan, Kakuzu, Itachi and Katie.

"Saw what?" Mel replied with a small yawn.

Demi glanced down at her and smirked. "Katie."

"Of course I saw her, she was right in front of me, stupid," Melissa giggled.

"Not that, the way she was acting!" Demi continued, sounding exasperated. "She was actually being cheerful!"

Melissa frowned. "Isn't she always like that?"

"Christ, I didn't realise how oblivious you actually are," Demi chuckled, glancing down at the annoyed pouting face glaring up at her from her lap. "She's been a little under the weather for almost a year now, and I haven't seen her look so relaxed and just generally happy in what feels like forever."

Mel smiled. "Well, now that you mention it, she has seemed a little different lately."

Demi cocked an eyebrow and flicked her fringe out of her face with the hand that wasn't in her friend's hair. "A little? Fucking hell, she's almost like a new person in a couple of goddamn weeks! She's still as lazy and sarcastic as ever, but she's started cracking jokes again and has actually moved herself out of her beanbag for once."

"I guess you're right," the dark haired girl laughed. When Demi questioned her giggle, she explained with the grin still on her face. "It's just ironic that living with a criminal gang is what ended up helping her. You'd think it would make someone worse."

The blue-haired emo matched her smile with her own. "You have a point. But these aren't just any criminals, they're our favourite fictional criminals. Plus, it isn't like Katie's not used to being around bad guys."

"That's true."

A few minutes passed in relaxed silence, before Demi's voice cut through the air.

"Anyway, what's going on with you and Girlie anyway? Did his throat taste nice?"

"Oh my god, will you just shut up about that?! You two are so embarrassing!"

"Pfft, your fault for kissing back."

"...I hate you."

"Love you too, Mel."

-x-

(1) In case you'd forgotten, Katie was woken up on her birthday in the same style by Mel.

A/N: Is that a dabble of foreshadowing I detect in here somewhere...?

Please tell me what you thought of this (or even just what you thought of Demi) in a comment! ^.^

Random Fact #9: A lot of the things my OCs say/do in this is based on things we do/say in real life. Yep, we're all just that crazy.

Hope you liked it! ^.^