I need to say a HUGE thank you to the amazing ladies behind Twi-Muses and Twi-Fic Promotions for reviewing Love's Little Book on their blogs. I am truly grateful. I never thought any of my stories would ever get reviewed, I thought they were no where near good enough, so thanks guys. If you want to check out the reviews the links are on my Profile Page.

Thankyou Fairusa and Ginginleelee for beta'ing this chapter, you are both truly amazing.

Love's Little Book

Chapter 10

I opened my door and held it open for Edward. He nervously shuffled in then stood there in the doorway, unsure what he should do next.

I entered, closing the door behind me, and threw my keys on the table in the hallway.

"Um...the living room is just through there," I said, pointing. I cleared my throat, aware of the nervous tremble in my voice.

"Go and take a seat and I will make us some drinks. What did you want; tea, coffee, something stronger?"

"Um...Coffee is fine, thanks," he answered, his voice equal to mine in the tremor factor.

I smiled at him and headed to the kitchen. I stood by the door and watched as he entered the living room. He looked around, taking in my home, then removed his black jacket and sat down on the sofa. He clasped his hands together in his lap and nervously played with his fingers.

I walked across the kitchen and leaned my head against the fridge door. What was I doing?

I knew why I had invited him up to my apartment - because he had given me a lift home, because it was the polite thing to do. I knew why I liked working with him, talking to him - because he was a nice person, a friend.

But, what I didn't know was why he was making me so goddamned nervous.

I knew I had to get a hold of myself, pull myself together. The day had been long and stranger than any day I had had in my life, including days when my mother was around.

I took a deep and calming breath and pulled myself away from the fridge. I prepared the coffees and took them into the living room.

Edward jumped as I entered the room and looked at me, startled.

"Don't worry, just me," I said, smiling.

He instantly blushed and looked away. I handed him his coffee and sat down next to him.

"So, you really are redecorating?" he said quietly.

"Yeah, out with the old, in with the new!" I said a little to chirpily. "Me and my ex didn't exactly have the same taste in design."

We both looked around the room, thinking about what we should say next.

"Do you miss him...your ex-husband?" Edward asked quietly.

I thought about it for a moment. Did I miss Mike? Not really, not him exactly, but I missed the company, I missed having someone to come home to. Having someone to trust and talk to, to share things with.

"Mike is a good person, a person I loved for a long time... but I don't really miss him. What I miss is being part of a something, you know?"

He nodded and smiled. "I know, I was part of a something once, too."

I raised my eyebrows in surprise. I knew that Edward was capable of being in a relationship, but for some reason it was just something I never thought of with him, he was just so shy that picturing him with another person was hard.

"In college, there was a girl, Lauren. She was everything I wasn't - bubbly, fun, exciting. For a really long time I couldn't understand what she saw in me, what I had to offer her, but she stuck with me all those years at college. She helped me a lot, actually," he said barely above a whisper.

"What happened?" I asked before I could stop myself.

"She got offered a job in California, and I couldn't bear to leave Boston. She wanted to make it work, but I knew it was better to let her go there free. Last I heard she was married. I hope she is happy... I miss being a part of a something too. Sometimes I'm scared that I'll never find that again, never find someone who can deal with me."

"Edward, that is not something you ever need to worry about, you are a good man and we all have our problems... Any woman would be lucky to have you," I said, blushing.

He smiled at me. "Oh really?" he said playfully, causing me to blush even more. I nudged him lightly with my shoulder.

"Shut up Edward." He laughed and although I tried hard not to, I couldn't help but laugh with him.

Then just like that the tension was gone. This was the way it always was with us; one second everything was uptight and difficult and then with one little smile or giggle things were easy and light and the tension was gone, but not for long.

Soon our coffees were finished and Edward was standing up to leave. The tension was back with a vengeance and the walk to the door was almost unbearable.

I opened the door for him and we stood there awkwardly. The energy in the hallway was static, it fizzled on my skin and burned in my throat every time I drew in a breath. My heart sank to my stomach and beat furiously there. The silence between Edward and I rang in my ears louder than anything I had ever heard and all I could see was his green eyes on mine.

"Thanks for the drink," he whispered, almost frightened to shatter the silence that surrounded and cuddled into us.

"You're welcome," I whispered back, terrified of breaking the connection but wanting to at to same time.

I was saturated in heat, burning in my own body as his eyes moved from my eyes to my lips.

Oh god he is going to kiss me, please kiss me... no, don't kiss me, I thought. My brain was working a million miles a minute and I didn't know what I wanted.

He leaned down slightly.

I prepared myself, braced myself for the softness of his lips and the turmoil I was sure would follow. The burning got worse, the static turned to electricity and I was ready.

But then as soon as it started, it was over. Edward pulled away sharply as though he had only just realized what he was doing.

"I... um... I should go," he stuttered.

Before I could reply he swiftly turned around and in his haste to get away walked straight into the door frame. He grunted at the impact, corrected himself and walked out the door.

I watched him leave, terrified about what had happened and the effect it would have on the friendship we were slowly building.

Before he disappeared around the corner towards the elevator, he stopped and turned around to look at me. His cheeks were pink from his embarrassment, but the smile he sent me was nothing short of devastating.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Bella." I smiled back at him, and nodded. We stared at each other for a moment longer before he disappeared out of my line of sight.

I walked back into my apartment, closed the door and leaned against it. Thoughts were racing through my head, but all I could mutter was, "Oh fuck."

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