AN: Thank you guys so much for all the amazing comments. I am feeling much better. Now if I could just rid myself of this pesky cough, I'd be golden.

Summary: Ava has a panic attack at work. She and Sara bond and finally realize that Mick was right, they have a lot in common.

Chapter 10

Ava was having one of her worst days back. She'd known there would be days that were harder than others but she'd been blessed not to have anything more than minor scares, accelerated heart rate or nightmares. She wished she'd called out, she'd seen the forecast for the day but she was into the second day of her shift and there was no leaving, not without a good reason. She wasn't ready to tell her Captain she needed the day off because the weather was disastrous on her mental well being. She didn't want her coworkers to treat her differently, it was bad enough that Mick had caught on that something was off. He'd been giving her concerned looks since before their recent call, a gang related shooting. They'd barely managed to keep the young man alive long enough for the doctors to take him into surgery. "Hey Mick," she got her partner's attention once the hospital staff took over the care of the gunshot victim. "I'm gonna need a few minutes." She was grateful for him because he didn't ask any questions, like he knew exactly what she needed and only gave her a silent nod.

He pointed her towards the staff's break room. "I'll ask them not to use it for a few." He'd seen the look on her face, he was sure the storm was causing havoc on her mentally. He'd seen her try to hide the flinching, the white knuckles as she'd gripped the steering wheel. The way she'd looked at her blood soaked hands after the care of the patient had been transferred to the hospital staff. He knew she was more than capable of taking care of herself but everyone had their limit and it was clear that Ava was quickly reaching hers. "I'll clean out the medic unit, take your time, I mean it." He wanted her at one hundred percent, they were out of service while he cleaned and restocked the ambulance anyways. It wasn't too busy so he didn't feel guilty keeping them unavailable.

Ava nodded, she didn't know what she'd done to deserve such an understanding partner. "Thanks Mick."

Mick returned a half hour later, the ambulance cleaned, stocked and ready for the next call. "Blondie, what are you doing here," he asked Sara. She stood in the doorway of one of the emergency rooms while a nurse was inside assessing a patient. It had been almost a month since they'd ran into her at work. "Tackle another poor undeserving perp," he asked jokingly, he made sure to keep his voice down. He never wanted the patients to hear him and think he was making fun of them, even if at times he was. He didn't need any more complaints on his file, not ones he could easily avoid.

"Hey Mick," she greeted him looking behind him for his partner. "Mental health hold, hospital didn't have the staffing to watch him until an evaluator could come in."

"So babysitting duty," he asked.

She shrugged. "Basically." This was her least favorite part of the job, the sitting around. She didn't mind being there for the patients, she was glad he'd asked for help instead of killing himself, she just hated the not being able to do anything. It made her restless. "Where is Ava," she finally asked.

He looked around making sure no one was within hearing range before he spoke. "She needed a minute. She hasn't said anything but I think the weather is bothering her." He nodded towards the break room. He really hoped the forecast was wrong and the thunderstorm would die down soon.

Sara stared out the window, it was pouring outside. At first she thought that Ava didn't care for the weather until she remembered what Mick had told her. "You said she was military right." She couldn't recall the branch but she was sure he'd mentioned her not being out of the service long.

He nodded. "Army medic. County had a shooting, we transported for them," he said in way of explanation.

Sara grimaced. "That can't be a good combination." It was bad enough having your PTSD triggered by one thing let alone multiple. Those were the days that Sara preferred to hide away from the world and work on remaining in the present. She'd had more experience with that than she cared for. She reached for her radio. "Sierra Eight Six, Sierra Nine Six on talk." She called for Leonard on the Radio and asked him to meet her on the talk around channel. They used this channel to communicate without tying up the air on the main dispatch channel.

"Eight Six on talk." Leonard switched to the appropriate channel.

"Len, if you're not busy can you swing by the hospital."

"On my way." He responded without further questioning, he figured whatever it was, Sara would tell him when he got there.

"Dispatch copies." They heard Zari jump on the talk channel to let them know she'd heard their traffic and would be adding Leonard to Sara's call.

"How are you doing," Mick asked her once she got off the radio. He liked to check in on her every once in a while, make sure she was actually good and not just putting on an act.

"Most days I'm good. Leonard has gotten really good at knowing which days aren't good, so it helps. I'm gonna need to get him something good for his birthday, again," she joked. Leonard had been a life saver on so many occasions. While her triggers weren't frequent, she still suffered from nightmares, the occasional flashback and on certain days she just felt as though she'd woken up on the wrong side of the bed and nothing she did worked to make things better.

"If you need anything." He didn't need to finish the sentence.

Sara nodded. "I know. Thanks Mick." She patted his shoulder.

"Everything okay," Leonard asked once he arrived.

"I'm fine," Sara assured him. "Do you mind keeping an eye on Clifford here," she asked, referring to the patient that was currently on a mental hold.

Leonard nodded. "Hey Micky, you gonna keep me company," he asked his longtime friend.

"Looks that way." Mick didn't really mind since it was Leonard, anyone else and it would have been like pulling teeth. He didn't like small talk and that's what he normally got from a lot of people.

"Break room," she asked Mick, at his nod she headed in that direction. Sara opened the door to the room slowly not wanting to startle Ava. She didn't know the mindset she was in and the last thing she needed was to make things worse for her. She looked around the room, she didn't find her immediately. She stepped further into the room, shutting and locking the door behind her. She made another sweep of the room looking for the firefighter. She almost missed the bit of blonde hair peeking from beside the couch. She moved closer to her making sure to make her presence known. Her heart skipped a beat at the sight before her. Ava sat with her back against the wall, her knees drawn to her chest with her hands between her chest and knees, rocking slowly, her breathing labored. Sara stepped into Ava's line of sight and looked for any sign that Ava aware of her. When she didn't get one, she stepped back, took her utility belt off and set it away from them. She didn't know where Ava's mind was, she didn't want her thinking she was a threat and reaching for her gun. Once she was unarmed she took a knee in front of Ava. "Ava," she said her name quietly. "Ava, can you hear me," she asked.

Ava looked past her as she continued to rock against the wall. She flinched as lightning flashed followed by thunder crashing seconds later outside the hospital window. "Get down," she called out to Sara, urging her to take cover.

Sara looked back at the windows that held Ava's gaze. She stood up slowly and moved to them. She pulled the string for the blinds bringing them down, blocking out the lightning on the other side. The noise was going to be her next task, but she'd need Ava to acknowledge her before she could do anything about that. She moved back to Ava, returning to her earlier position. "Ava, it's Sara, nod if you can hear me." Again she received no response so she moved closer. "Ava, you're in Star City, you're safe, you're at the hospital." She repeatedly reminded her she was safe. She thought she saw a split second of recognition before it disappeared at the sound of thunder. "Breath Ava, deep breathes." She spoke to her for several minutes reminding her where she was and that there was no danger. "That's it, deep breath in, hold it, exhale." She repeated the phrase several times until Ava started following her instructions.

"Sara," Ava questioned tilting her head slightly to the side in confusion. She hadn't noticed her until now. She wondered how long she'd been there. She wanted to dig a hole and jump into it. Of all the people to see her like this it had to be Sara Lance, the strongest person on the police force.

"You're okay," Sara assured her with a smile. She knew that Ava was probably feeling embarrassed, she'd been where she was now. Having a panic attack or a flashback while on shift was the worst thing that could happen, she'd been lucky to have a partner who understood her and didn't think any less of her after each episode. Leonard had been godsend.

Ava looked around the room, her gaze dropping to her bloodied hands. The thing that had pushed her over the edge. She'd been handling the storm fairly well until she'd spent a second too long looking at her hands. The sight of the blood covering them sent her back to the war zone, where she was surrounded by her injured squad, her family. Her breathing picked up again as she continued to look at them.

Sara followed her gaze, noticing the blood for the first time. She stood up and moved to the sink. She grabbed a ton of paper towels, wet them and brought them back to where Ava sat. "Deep slow breaths." She reminded Ava. "Stretch your legs," she instructed. She needed Ava to relax her body before she went into another attack. "Trust me," she said when Ava didn't immediately do as she'd asked.

Ava looked at her a second longer before nodding and doing as she'd been asked. She focused on Sara instead of the blood that had leaked into her gloves and dried on her hands making them feel stiff.

"Good, now I want you to breath, inhale slowly for three seconds, hold it, hold it, hold it, exhale, exhale, exhale. Good, again. Inhale." Sara continued talking, keeping her voice calm and gentle. She watched to make sure Ava was following her instruction. Once she knew she was focused on her voice she continued talking her through controlling her breathing while taking one blood soaked hand in hers and using the wet paper towels to remove the blood. Once both hands were as clean as she could get them without actually scrubbing them she gave them a gentle squeeze.

Ava's gaze never left Sara's face as she talked her through her panic attack. She'd felt so embarrassed at first but Sara didn't seem bothered at all. She acted like they'd done this a hundred times before. She'd just smiled at her reassuringly.

"Better," Sara asked after a few minutes.

Ava nodded. "Thank you."

"Don't mention it." Sara moved to sit beside her, leaning against the wall, shoulders barely touching. She reached into one of the pockets of her vest. "Here."

"Earplugs," Ava asked, moving the pieces in her hand.

"They're noise canceling. You'll still be able to hear so they come in handy and they're not too noticeable."

Ava looked at the unopened package. "Am I taking your only pair," she asked. She wanted to ask why Sara had them but figured she'd leave that question for another time.

"No, I always keep a few pairs in my cruiser and one on me, I'll restock when I get back to the car." She'd learned to keep several pairs nearby. She'd used them a few times with kids and even adults that were sensitive to the noises around them.

"Thank you Sara." She was learning not for the first time that there was a lot about Sara she didn't know. She hadn't allowed herself to get to know her because she'd labeled her as reckless and she'd wanted nothing to do with someone who had no regard for the risks they took. "I'm sorry," she said with a sigh. "I misjudged you." She looked at Sara who was staring across the room instead of her.

Sara finally looked at her. "You're not the first, I'm sure you won't be the last." Sara was used to it, people always found a reason to judge her. The top three reasons being, because she was a female, because her father was the chief of police, and because of her past.

"Still, I'm sorry." She apologized once again. "Maybe Mick was right, there is more to you." She nudged Sara's shoulder.

"I hate to say that Mick and Laurel were right but yeah, we may have more in common than I cared to admit." Sara told her, there was a lot they could talk about, the main thing being, coping mechanisms she could teach Ava in dealing with their line of work and past trauma. "Have lunch with me."

Ava turned her head meeting Sara's gaze as she thought about it. She nodded. "Lunch sounds great." This was the first interaction she'd had with Sara since Christmas and she was glad that it was going well despite the circumstance that led to it.

"Tomorrow," Sara asked.

"As long as we stay in, it's supposed to continue to storm and I'm not trying to..."

"Be out in it," Sara finished for her.

Ava nodded. She avoided being out in public for fear of panic attacks and flashbacks. Seeing that she already had one, she was more likely to have another if she didn't tread lightly.

"Yeah I get that. Been there, so no worries." Sara remembered how frequent her attacks used to be. She went months at a time isolating herself in her home. "What's your number. I'm not going to ask Mick for it, I'd never hear the end of it."

Ava laughed, finally able to relax."You're not lying." She gave Sara her number and watched as Sara messaged her. She stood up wiping whatever debris she'd collected from the ground, Sara followed right after her. "I should get back. I lost track of time, I'm sure Gideon is pissed we've been out of service for so long."

Sara shook her head. "Don't worry about it, Gideon is one of the most understanding people you'll meet, she's been there for me, a lot." They didn't have time to go into that now. They could talk tomorrow.

"Maybe, but I don't think she likes me because I was kind of a bitch to you." She remembered the glare Gideon had given her after Sara had brought in the pizzas.

Sara laughed. "Oh I never said she liked you, but she'll come around, I did." She winked. "Take her some cinnamon rolls from the shop on Elm, she'll forgive you."

Ava nodded, keeping the gesture in mind. "I should probably hit the bathroom, I can't imagine the mess I look."

Sara looked her up and down. "Nah, you look good, just use the sink for a good wash." She didn't want to remind her of the blood that was still on her hands.

Ava gave a shy smile and nodded, she washed her hands while Sara put her utility belt back on. "Good call." She nodded towards Sara's waist.

"Like I said, I've been there." Sara opened the door leading the way back to their respective partners.

"Just in time, station four just got a call in our district, you up for it," Mick asked. He eyed the pair for a second trying to judge for himself whether going back into service so quickly was a good idea. Sara's nod assured him that everything was good.

"Yup," Ava said pulling out the earplugs Sara had given her. "Thank you Officer Lance." This time she said it softly, as a friend rather than someone who couldn't stand to be in her presence. She smiled as she adjusted the earbuds in each ear.

"Stay safe." Sara said in response, no longer bothered by Ava referring to her as Officer Lance. She watched them walk away for a few seconds before turning to her partner.

"What's going on there," Leonard asked with a curious expression on his face. He'd known after Christmas that they'd put their differences aside but this was a whole new level. They acted like they were actually friends.

"Nothing." She said quickly, too quickly.

"Riiight." He answered not believing her, he'd wait for her to tell him. It was never a good idea to push his partner to talk. "You good here," he asked. "Carter and Ray are on a disturbance with several drunks, I want to cover till they give the ok." It wasn't unusual for extra units to respond to calls they felt uneasy about.

"I'm good, thanks Len." She took the seat he'd been occupying and sat with Clifford as they waited for the evaluator. According to the nurse, it would not be too much longer.

***...***

Sara had just gotten home and set her things down when she received a message from Ava. She put her phone back in her packet without checking it. She had an excited dog that demanded her attention. "Hi buddy." She greeted. "I know, I know, I missed you too. Oh stop," she told the dog as he began to whine. "I haven't been gone that long. Come on." She led him to the backyard. She sat on the porch swing enjoying the rain while Justice took care of business. She pulled out her phone and checked Ava's message.

"I don't know what I would've done had you not been there. It's never been that bad and I didn't have Scout with me to pull me out of it. Thank you again, Sara."

Sara read the message several times smiling at the use of her first name. It was obvious Ava was still learning to deal with the trauma she'd had to face in the military. She didn't want to push too much over text message. These conversations were usually better in person. Besides, Ava was working, she worried that talking about things might trigger another attack while she was still on duty. "You don't have to keep thanking me. I've been there, I know what it's like to have a panic attack at the worst possible time. How is my buddy Scout?" She read the message a few times before deciding to send it. She and Ava had only started tolerating each other after the Christmas dinner. She didn't know where they stood, everything was new for them. When they'd hated each other the universe had thrown them at each other every shift. Since they'd called their truce, they hadn't had a single call together.

"Scout is doing great thanks to you and his new vet. He loves Amaya. You know, I never saw myself having a dog. I'm more a cat person but the therapist I was seeing when I first got back suggested I get a service dog. This is Siren, she was a gift." She attached the most recent picture of Scout and one of her cat.

Sara smiled at the pictures Ava attached. Scout looked much better and happier than when she'd seen him on her traffic stop. She was glad he'd made a full recovery. For a cat, Siren wasn't a bad looking tabby either. "What?!" She sent the first text message. "You're a firefighter who prefers cats? I knew there was something off about you, other than you being a hose dragger that is." She sent a smiley face with the message. She laughed at the eye roll gif Ava sent her followed by a message. "Come on buddy." She called out to Justice. He had a tendency of playing in the rain and she didn't want him tracking mud in the house.

Ava rolled her eyes, there was that insulting nickname again, cops loved calling firefighters that. "I'll have you know, cats are just as amazing as dogs. At least mine is. Don't you underestimate this hose dragger, at least I'm not a blue canary." She wasn't above name calling.

"Ouch! I haven't heard that in a while. Them are fightin words Miss Sharpe. And as for the cat, you are so biased. No cat is cute. They're all little demons." Sara shot back.

"Who are you talking to," Mick asked his partner as he stopped at a red light. She'd been doing a lot better since they'd left the hospital. She was looking down at her phone smiling not even realizing they were driving in the middle of a thunderstorm. He was pretty sure he knew who she was messaging, but he wanted to hear it from her.

"What," she asked. "No one, just looking at funny cat videos." She showed him her phone to prove that she'd been telling the truth. What she hadn't expected was Sara's reply coming in at that exact moment.

"Right, so that's what you're calling her now. I guess it's better than Officer Lance." He teased, secretly pleased they were finally talking, really talking.

She put her phone down, too embarrassed to look at the message Sara had sent with Mick's gaze on her. "Fine, I was talking to Sara." She said after a few minutes. "It's just, she really helped me out earlier." She defended. "And, maybe we do have more in common than I originally thought." She conceded quietly.

"So you like her then," he said proudly. It was rare that a woman told him he was right, he was going to enjoy it as much as he could.

"What, no, we're friends." Her cheeks turned red. She loved working with Mick but sometimes she wished he wasn't so comfortable with talking, she blamed his wife for that. Kendra and Lisa had told her Mick wasn't quite as open about his feelings before Laurel came along.

"Check your messages, I know you're dying to. The Lance sisters know how to worm their way into your heart without you knowing it." He remembered when he'd first met Laurel. One minute they'd been friends the next he'd been a grinning buffoon constantly checking his phone on shift waiting to talk to her. "No teasing, I promise." He turned his attention back to the road.

She didn't check her message, not while Mick's attention was one her. "Do you think we can swing by the bakery on Elm and then hit up dispatch," she asked, changing the subject.

"Bribing Gideon," he asked with a knowing smile. He'd had to take peace offerings to dispatch a few times, they'd gotten him out of several complaints.

"Yeah basically, Sara said the cinnamon rolls are her favorite."

He nodded. "The cinnamon rolls never fail." He started towards the bakery. He didn't comment on the fact that she'd let slip that Sara had given her the information or the fact that she'd called her by her first name several times.

***...***

Ava walked into dispatch nervously with a box of treats in hand thirty minutes later. She was relieved to find Gideon sitting in a pod by herself, it made her feel more comfortable not having the rest of the shift stare at her. "Hey Gideon, you busy," she asked while holding the box behind her back and out of sight.

Gideon shook her head in the negative, she was surprised to see the blonde firefighter. "At this very second I'm free but we both know that could change at a moment's notice."

Ava knew all too well how quickly a slow day could become chaotic. "I'll be quick then." She brought the box from behind her back. "I wanted to apologize, we were out of service for so long, it was my fault and I know it got a bit busy. Anyways, Sara said you liked the cinnamon rolls from the place on Elm." She handed the box over whilst biting her lip waiting to see if Gideon accepted her apology.

Gideon was surprised to hear Sara's name. She'd been sure the two didn't get along or rather, Ava didn't like Sara. "Like is an understatement." She smiled accepting the gift. "I love them." She opened the lid and peeked inside humming in anticipation. She could not wait to devour the sweet treats. She closed the lid and set the box on her desk turning her full attention on Ava. "Thank you Ava, that was very kind of you. Tell me, what had you out of service for so long." She wanted to know more about the woman standing before her. She'd known very little about her and if she and Sara were talking, then she wanted to get to know her for herself. Afterall, Sara was like a daughter to her. "Sit." She motioned towards the edge of the desk.

Ava sat down but didn't answer, she didn't know what to say. She stayed silent for almost a full minute debating her words. She wanted to lie and make up an excuse but she couldn't bring herself to. Sara had told her Gideon was an understanding person, that she'd been there for her. She looked at one of the windows as the lightning lit up the room further. "Between the weather and the shooting I needed a minute to gather myself." When Gideon didn't say anything she continued. "I guess eight years in the military and five deployments tend to mess with your head," she joked. She always tried to downplay the affects her deployments had on her because she couldn't stand the pitying looks people gave her.

Gideon nodded, she now understood why Sara had requested Leonard to meet her at the hospital, she'd needed him to watch the male in her custody while she'd been with Ava. "And how are you doing now," she asked, Ava had tried to downplay the situation but she could tell she was still bothered, she wasn't the same woman that had done a sit a long a few month back.

"Better, Sara gave me these, they help." She showed her the ear buds.

Gideon smiled. "Ah yes, Sara doesn't go anywhere without a pair, sometimes it's good to drown out the noise." She patted Ava's thigh. "I'm glad to see you two are getting along."

Ava wondered how many people were rooting for her and Sara to become friends.

"You're about to get an injury accident." Gideon looked at her screen for the fire call that just dropped. "Thank you for the treats Ava, be careful out there."

"Will do." She didn't know why those words made her feel so happy, it wasn't that she wanted Gideon to like her. At the end of the day she didn't know her well enough to care but the fact that she cared about her safety made her feel really good inside. "Have a 9-1-onederful shift Gideon." She winked at Gideon and was pleased with the laugh she got out of her.

"Dear god, don't teach Sara that one." She shook her head. She was still smiling when Ava left. She most definitely preferred this Ava over the snobby one she'd initially met.

Ava left the center and jumped into the passenger seat of the ambulance feeling a hundred times better. "Updating the wife," she asked with a smirk on her face.

Mick rolled his eyes and tucked the phone back in his pocket after disconnecting with Laurel. "I'll have you know, our relationship does not revolve around you and Sara, but yes, yes I was." He laughed when she rolled her eyes. "Hey, you had me sitting outside waiting, what's a man to do."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah." She turned the lights and siren on. "Let's get to this accident."

***...***

It was hours later before Ava finally messaged Sara back. "Sorry, Mick kept staring at me. I have a terrible poker face." She smiled at Sara's immediate response.

"Want me to threaten his life? Or even worse threaten him with Laurel. I'll do it, just say the word."

Ava didn't doubt for a minute that Sara would follow through with her threat.

"No need, but I will keep that in mind. He's actually very supportive of us being friends." She replied.

"He and Laurel have been dropping not so subtle hints at us becoming friends since the day we met. Happily married couples are disgustingly annoying." She sent the first message. "What time is good for you tomorrow, I know Mick usually sleeps till noon after the nights he's busy at work."

Ava thought about it for a minute, it had been fairly steady all day, but she wouldn't call it busy, if the pattern continued then she wouldn't need too much sleep the next morning, unless her nightmares kept her up all night. "Let's aim for 1300."

"1300 is perfect, I hope your shift is (the Q word that is not to be uttered). Text or call if you need anything." She put the offer out there because she knew the rain was supposed to continue all night and having already had one panic attack because of it, she was likely to have another. "I mean it." She sent another message to make sure Ave knew she was serious about being there if she needed anything.

Ava laughed at the first part of the message. The Q word Sara was referring to was quiet, no one dared utter that word in the police, fire or dispatch world. The minute they did, their slow day normally turned into chaos. "Thank you, Sara." She replied to the second part of her message. "I really appreciate it. Have a good night."

"Good night Ava."

Ava shot out of her bunk a few hours later, covered in sweat, her breathing labored, her heart pounding. She looked down at her hands, turning them over looking for the blood that had covered them moments before. She shut her eyes tightly wishing the images out of her head and took a deep breath trying to come back to the present. She looked around for her phone, once she found the device she traced the wire attached to it and found the earbuds that had slipped out of her ears as she'd slept. She placed the buds back in her ears and turned the music up. She wasn't worried about missing the tones of a call since the lights in her room automatically turned on when they were dispatched. She settled back in her bed trying hard to go back to sleep. After an hour of trying and failing to sleep she debated messaging Sara. She looked at the clock considering her options. It was just after four, she didn't want to bother her, not this early, she'd make it through the day just fine if she had to stay up. She got up and headed towards the gym room located in their station. If she was going to be up she was going to make good use of the time.

AN: I think this is the longest chapter yet. A lot of you have been really curious about Sara's past, we learn more about that in the next chapter as she and Ava continue to bond.