A/N: I know, I know - I suck. It's been such a long time since I've updated and I'm sorry I haven't delivered. I hope his update satisfies and holds you over until I can get the next chapter up, which hopefully won't be anywear near as long a wait as this one has been. So please enjoy and I appreciate any reviews. Again, so sorry for the wait. Thanks.

--What A Sight--

You've been sitting here for a while now.

Just watching over her as she sleeps.

You know she didn't get much rest last night, because you didn't get much either. You woke up a few times and saw her awake. But you made sure she didn't notice you. You could see she was heavily in thought.

She was just staring out the window up at the night sky; you didn't want to disturb her. So you let her be with her thoughts.

Its mid-morning now, you've been awake for some time, given up on sleep.

Right now, she looks so calm.

You don't want to upset that.

It's been far too long since she has looked so at peace. You hope her outward countenance does not betray what's going on inside that head of hers.

You've been doing some thinking of your own while sitting here. You try and imagine what life must have been like for her over the past few years, but then you start to feel nauseous and you don't like the images that are coming to mind.

And you know your mind hasn't even begun to scratch the depths of what she's been through.

You'd never be able to relate, and you almost selfishly thank God that you don't know. That you haven't been through what she has.

Your buzzing phone brings you out of your inner musings for a moment.

It's Haley – again.

You hadn't heard from any of your other friends since that first call after the arrival of a certain blonde a little over a week ago. That is until Haley called you yesterday; she broke the silence and asked you how Peyton was. And she knew, as you assume everyone else has, that you would be right there with her, right next to her, for whatever 'this' was.

It's the third time she has called, and you don't know quite what to say. Do you tell her about everything that's going on and feel like you're betraying a trust with Peyton?

No, because you would be betraying that trust, you know she doesn't want them to know, not like you know.

So you tell her what little you feel comfortable with, that she's doing okay and you're taking care of her. The bare minimal.

She wants to know more, wants to come see her friend.

You don't know what to say to that.

On the one hand, you feel like you aren't really in any position to tell her that no, she cannot come to see Peyton. Who are you to dictate your friends' lives?

But then you think about it some more, and you realize that you actually do have some say in this matter. Not only did Peyton ask you to protect her, but you have always felt this instinctual obligation deep with in to do what you saw fit when it came to her – to some degree of course along with discretion. And you know you have certainly exercised that 'position' more than a few times in the past. You can make decisions concerning her, it is in not only your rights as a best friend, but also as her person, as the one she loves, who you love, as her everything, and her yours.

So yes, you can tell Haley not to come.

Though that doesn't necessarily mean she will listen to you.

And you tell her. You say that you don't think she's up to it quite yet and that maybe some other time, later in the week maybe, it could happen. But now, you just don't think it's in her best interests.

And as you slightly cringe at the brief silence as you wait for her reply, you take a breath to calm yourself and feel totally right and justified in telling this to her.

Because you're the one Peyton trusts. You're the one she wants protecting her. You are her best friend, you are simply hers.

With an understanding breath you almost miss, Haley relents, and tells you that she trusts you and that okay, she won't stop by. She tells you to take care of her – and not to forget about yourself as well – and you easily reply with a simple, 'always.'

She tells you that she knows you are only looking out for her and that she hopes to see the both of you sometime soon. She bids you good luck and good bye and hangs up the phone.

And as you set your cell phone back down, you once again look over at the beautiful figure laying in bed, and send up a silent prayer that you can pull through this, that you don't make any mistakes, that you bring her back to you.

Because you really need her.

And if you lost her…you know you'd lose more than just her, you'd lose yourself as well.

You made your way downstairs to fix yourself something to eat. Even though you knew she needed the food, you didn't make her anything to eat, not today, because you yourself were tired and didn't know how she would be feeling today.

And deciding something so small like that, something that went against your better judgment concerning her health, it made you feel all the more guilty for your perceived lack of being the person she needs you to be.

You know she needs to eat, even if she doesn't feel like it, because she is deficient in the nutrition department and needs to gain some weight. She needs to eat in order to stay on the road to getting healthy.

And you strangely feel like your incapacitating her in this quest.

All because you aren't making her some food while she is still sleeping.

With this thought you realize it's not so much this act that is making you feel this way, but the inability you feel you have to help her. Your fear of letting her down and losing her are starting to gnaw their way into your conscious.

You realize that you have additional struggles to face. Because not only do you need to be strong for her, but you yourself need to be strong for you, so you can be the person she needs.

You need to believe in yourself.

In the slight chaos and ups and downs of the past days, you have let that slip away from you.

You let the one thing that brought you hope dwindle due to the stress, but not anymore. You're going to be the Brooke Davis that you are, throw your shoulders back and hold your head high as you pull yourself together and fight this fire.

Because if you don't you'll lose the person who has meant the most to you in your whole life, who you can't imagine a future without.

But you're not going to let that happen, because you believe it won't.

And you'll let it be known to her as well, and she too will believe – you'll make sure of it.

Yes, you can see the road ahead, and while it may be rough, you can see that it leads to somewhere great, with the two of you happy. You can finally see past today and know, with everything inside of you, that the both of you will make it through this.

You are suddenly brought out of your inner convictions by a pair of arms wrapping around you from behind.

You smile, so big, for what seems like the first time in days. You lean back into the embrace a little and just take a moment to bask in how perfect and right and calming this feels. You wish you could feel this way forever. And you hope you will.

She whispers a good morning into your ear as she continues to hold you and take in the moment.

The sun is shining brightly in through the kitchen windows and door; it is warming the both of you as you stand there rooted to the floor in your embrace, totally content.

And all you can think of is how perfect this moment feels. You know she feels it too, because as she squeezes you just a little tighter, she releases a comfortable sigh and gives you a light kiss to the side of your neck making you feel even more wonderful.

You're not sure how long you were standing there – it could have been a minute, could have been an hour – before she breaks the comfortable silence, though you remain in the same position as she speaks.

She tells you, first and foremost, that today is going to be a good day.

She feels it, just knows.

And that is all you need to hear to make you turn in her embrace with an even bigger smile on your face. You wrap your arms around her neck and give her a light kiss on her lips as you tell her how great that is and how you have missed her like this.

She let's you know that she too has missed the days when she has truly felt like herself and is also glad that even if its only for today, then at least she has today and she has it with you.

Almost as an aside she softly says that she thinks the meds are finally helping. She nearly snorts at the almost absurd nature of this because she's been taking those damn anti-depressants for quite some time now.

You spend some more time just holding her as the both of you milk this moment for all you can. You so desperately want this to last, want this feeling to never go away.

You don't ever want to let her go.

And then a thought pops into your head and you open your mouth to speak.

"Hey, how come you stopped liking gummies?"

You mentally kick yourself for a second because you know you just ruined your moment by speaking.

The utter confusion that has just shown up on her face is plainly clear to you.

"What?"

"You know, like, gummy worms, gummy bears, gummy life savers…when we were eight they were your favorite candy for that one week, and then like, a few days after my little candy store 'theft' you never ate them ever again as far as I can remember."

She's still looking at you like you may have started growing a second head.

"Well…You see…You know it doesn't really matter, I mean what even made you think of that in the first place?"

You can tell she's avoiding the subject and if you were slightly smarter and perhaps more awake, you'd just let this stupid topic drop.

"Oh c'mon Pey, I want to know, please? Please, please, please?"

"Fine. Okay."

Insert happy dance. These are the moments you have missed most over that past three years. The pointless conversations about nothing that you're not really sure how they end up getting started or coming about in any way.

But they are yours and you cherish them.

"So you remember after you stole all that candy and you got yourself like one little bag of something and then you gave me these two absurdly huge bags of gummy worms, one sour and sugar coated, the other just regular gummies, right?"

You nod your head that yes, you remember and for her to continue.

"And I'm amazed how you pulled that off, by the way, I mean how could you have not gotten caught, that was a pretty noticeable amount of stuff you took. But anyway, two days later, that night I was bored and watching some movie, you weren't with me because your parents requested your presence for some dinner party. Well I may have eaten nearly both bags that night. And I ended up getting sick. My dad thought it was some virus or the flu, so he had me stay home that Monday, I told you that's why I wasn't in school. But really I just got sick from all of those gummy worms I ate, my stomach hurt so bad, I haven't been able to even look at gummy anything without remembering how sick those made me. So there you have it. Happy?"

You suppress the slight amount of laughter her story has caused as you reach out and rub your hands up and down her upper arms, trying to get her to put away the little pout she's now aiming at you.

"Peyt, how come you never told me? I'm really sorry you got sick. And you should know better that to try and eat loads of junk without me around."

"I didn't want you to think that you made me sick or were the cause for it, so it was whatever. But please, please, if you ever want to hijack candy for me again, no gummy worms."

"Deal."

You each bask in the last moments of your morning happiness before you sit down to eat.

And surprisingly so does she.

You stare almost in awe, fork with scrambled eggs held half way to your mouth, as she scrapes up the remaining small portion of eggs and grabs a piece of toast then sits down next to you.

Sure, it's very little food, but it is food, none the less.

As she is about to eat, she glances at you and catches your stare. With a small, knowing smile thrown your way, she just shakes her head.

"What? Haven't you ever seen a girl eat breakfast?"

You have to laugh at that. You are just so happy.

And then you're crying. Tears of happiness are slowly making their way down your face and she just leans over to you, brushes a few of them away and gives you a kiss on your cheek.

You smile as she smiles.

"I know. I know, Brooke."

And you know, as does she, that this is progress, this is improvement.

This is hope.