Chapter 9

Shock

Shock /SHäk/ noun 1. a sudden upsetting or surprising event or experience. 2. a violent shaking movement caused by an impact, explosion, or tremor.

All of a sudden, I didn't know what my problem was, but it was hard to understand what Embry was trying to ask me. The words he was saying didn't seem to make any sense to me, even though I heard them. Plus he sounded like he was talking to me through a tunnel. It felt like my mind was in a fog I couldn't get rid of. I was so out of it I didn't grasp Embry and I were sitting on the floor instead of standing until that moment.

The man in front of me must have thought I didn't hear the first time him so he repeated his question.

"Elu what was Jackson doing here?" Embry asked harshly.

With my mind still in a daze, I tried as hard as I could to form a proper sentence with the few words I could remember. I also tried to remember what had been said before the attack. This was going to be harder to explain than I thought it was going to be.

"I-I don't k-know," I stuttered. "H-He was just here w-when I g-got home. He s-said something about t-the old m-man asking him t-to check up on m-me while he w-was g-gone."

I hadn't noticed I was shaking until I wrapped my arms around myself. All of a sudden I felt cold and my skin was clammy, with my breathing starting to become rapid and shallow. To top it all off, I felt kind of weak and tired. I don't know if it was from trying to fight off Jackson or what, but I had never felt this way before, not even after any of my fights. I couldn't grasp or understand what was wrong with me. This scared me almost as more as the attack did.

"Elu," Embry's voice came through the fog.

Looking up at him I could see the concern written all over his face. I hadn't realized I had looked away from him until that moment. There was so much I wanted to say, but with the fog getting heaver, I couldn't seem to form the words. I must have still been crying before Embry put his hand against my cheeks and his thumbs wiped away some of the flowing tears.

"Elu are you ok?" he asked softly. "Please answer me."

"She's going into shock Embry," I heard a voice inform him.

It might have been Sam, I don't know. All I could do was look at Embry and hope he didn't disappear in a puff of smoke right in front of me. I don't know what I would do if he did, maybe curl up in a ball and hope to never wake up again. I almost forgot what it felt like to depend on someone besides myself. It was a good feeling, but at the same time it was a scary.

"You need to take her Sue's," Sam's stated. "All the imprints and Leah are there. They can hopefully help her. Take Seth and Paul with you. The rest of us are going to make sure Mr. Gray gets home without anything getting in his way."

What in the hell was an imprint? The only time I had ever heard of an imprint was in biology at the beginning of the year. It's when a baby bird, or something, comes to recognize another animal, or person, as a parent or other object of habitual trust. So what did imprinting have to do with anything that was going on here? If I could ever think straight again I'd have to ask Embry.

"I'm not leaving her," Embry growled.

"He didn't say you had to Em," a new voice said with a sighed. "All he's saying is take her to Sue's and stay with her for as long as she needs you."

If I had to take a guess this voice was Jacobs. Again I didn't care. So many things were happing so fast, but they felt like they were going in slow motion – the motions, the voices, the sounds, the words, everything – and it didn't help when they sounded like they were in a tunnel. All of this was maddening. Right now all I wanted was everything to stop. I need to get my bearings straight.

Just then I saw Embry's face come into view again, but like everything else, he was still in that stupid tunnel I couldn't seem to get around – which is probably why I didn't see him go out of my line of vision, with his words and with his features. There was so many things I didn't realize I was doing. Like I was holding onto his shirt with both hands, I was still crying, and my eyes were flying around the room like something was going to come out of nowhere, and start beating on me again. I was still so scared, I didn't know how to handle this, because I had never been this way before.

"Elu, sweetheart," Embry whispered loud enough so I could hear him. "I need to lift you up and I'm going to take you some place safe ok, but you have to stay calm. Nobody's going to hurt you. I promise."

He was talking to me like I was a wild animal, or would get up and run away any minutes. Maybe if I could get up and run I would have, but I didn't have the strength. As everyone could tell I really wasn't in my right mind right now.

I don't know if I nodded or not, but soon I was off the ground and in Embry's arms, laying against his chest. I still didn't let go of his shirt. When I looked down I could see my knuckles were turning white under the blood that was still on my hands – it was both mine and Jackson's. As Embry carried me out into the cloud filtered sun I just happened to look down to see my shirt was ripped to shreds. It was barely hanging off of my right shoulder, exposing more of my bra and tank top straps. I could also see there were bruises on both of my wrists. I didn't even want to think about what my face, or body, under my ripped up shirt, looked like. They had to be terrible.

I buried my face in Embry's chest so I wouldn't have to look at what I could see of myself anymore. He pulled me closer to his chest and I felt him gently kiss the top of my head. I felt the warmth of that kiss spread throughout my body, and it felt amazing. For once I was really grateful for Embry's overly warm body heat, but sadly it didn't stop the shaking my body was still doing. Sam had to be right. I was going into shock and there was no way I could stop it.

When we got to Embry's truck he walked to the passenger side and I could hear someone telling him to wait up. He turned around and I saw Seth and Paul running up behind us. Seth opened the door for Embry. I felt him tried to put me in, but I wasn't going to have any of that. I held onto my savior as tightly as I could, and my breathing started to become more rapid. There was no way I was going to let him go. He was going to have pry his shirt out of my cold dead hands before I let him go.

"No!" I cried. "Don't let me go."

"Shhh, Beautiful," Embry hushed me. "I'm not going to let you go. I promise Elu."

I felt Embry kiss my temple, and I closed my eyes. My shaking calmed down a little bit, and a content sigh escaped my lips. This was where I wanted to be, safe and sound in the arms of the man who save me from… I don't even want to think about what could have happened if Embry didn't show up. It wouldn't have been good that's all I know.

"Paul do you mind driving?" Embry asked.

"Sure," Paul's gruff voice rang softly.

"Hey what about me?" Seth voice called. "I'm not a bad driver. Why can't I drive?"

"Because you don't have you're license," Embry stated.

"I have my learners permit."

"Not the same thing kid," Paul called. "Plus I'm older. Sorry."

"I don't care who's the oldest or a baby in dippers," Embry growled. "We need to get Elu to Sue's now."

I heared the sound of keys jingling as they passed hands. I didn't really care who drove as long as it wasn't Embry. The thought of him letting me go sent me into another shaking fit again and panic boiled in my veins. Embry must have known something was wrong because he kissed my temple again.

"Shhhh," he murmured. "Shhhh Beautiful. Everything's going to be okay."

As I calmed down, I felt Embry left me into the truck and sit me down on the seat. I didn't have time to cry out for him to come back, because I was soon in his lap again, when he got into the truck. I nestled as close to him as I could, and kept my eyes closed. I forced myself to listen to the fast pace of Embry's heart – which reminded me of my own – as he rested his chin on the top of my head, and rubbed circles on my back. I heard both truck doors close and the engine turn over. Everything was quiet as we started to drive away from my house. For some odd reason I didn't want to see where we were going. The feeling of being safe was one of the things I had missed out on after my shima's disappeared and I loved every second I was getting here. I just hoped I wouldn't lose it after I just got it back from the scary place I was in.

-E&E-

I must have dozed off on the way to Sue's, because when I opened my eyes again Embry was getting out of the truck. Before looking around to get a general idea of where we were I looked up at the man who was carrying me. He wasn't looking anywhere but at the house we were coming up too, so I took a few seconds to look at him before glancing over at the house. It was a small house that looked like it could hold at least four people if they were in separate rooms. Like most houses in La Push it was made out of wood and it had a porch at the front of it.

As Embry carried me towards the house I could tell the tunnel vision was still there. Considering that, I knew I didn't fall asleep for every long on the way over here. Just as I was about to bury my face back into Embry's chest, I saw two people run out the door and down the porch steps while a group of individuals gathered at the front window. I tried to blink around the tunnel vision to see who these people were, but it didn't work. When the two woman got to us was when I saw who they were. Sue and Leah stopped right in front us and started talking at once.

"What happened?" they both cried.

"Let's just get her inside Sue," Embry murmured. "I'll let you as we get cleaned up."

He must have thought I was a sleep because his voice wasn't more than a whisper. Once again I felt him kiss my temple and I couldn't help but cuddle closer to his chest. No matter how much my brain told me too, I just couldn't get away from his body heat. The best part would be is if I could only get him in my bed I wouldn't need a blanket ever again. As a matter of face his body heat reminded me so much of… my wolf… Em.

I was soon brought out of my thoughts when Sue agreed to Embry's demand.

"Alright," Sue whispered.

"But Embry–" Leah growled.

I flinched from her tone. Even though it wasn't Jackson the way she growled made me think about him. I started shaking again and I whimpered as I held onto Embry's shirt as tighter.

"Leah!" Embry hissed. "Not right now okay. You're going to scary her more than she already is."

It was quiet so I figured Leah had gave up. I was still shaking as Embry started walking again. He kissed my head again before he put his lips close to my ear.

"It's okay Beautiful," he whispered. "It was just Leah being her hot tempered self. She didn't mean to scare you."

"Embry," I whispered.

"Yes sweetheart."

"I'm so cold."

"I know. We'll fix that here soon. Just stay close to me."

'Don't have to tell me twice,' I thought shakily.

I don't know how I was blacking out, but next thing I knew I was being laid down on a soft bed. Embry tried to let me go but once again I wasn't having any of that. I wrapped my arms around his neck and dug my nails deep into his skin. I was sure I was drawing blood.

"Easy there Elu," Embry hummed. "I'm going to be right here. Sue's going to look you over."

"Don't leave me," I begged. "I don't want him to come back for me. Please don't leave."

"Elu sweetheart, he's not coming back for you. No one will hurt you while I'm around I promise."

'Don't leave,' I tried to say. 'Don't let him get me.'

I don't know if it was the shock or how exhausted I was, but my mouth wouldn't work, so I couldn't get the words out. While I laid down on the bed I felt Embry run his hand over my forehead and hair while he held one of my hands with his free one. He wanted me to know he was there and I couldn't be more grateful.

Staying awake was harder than I thought it was going to be. I was slowly losing my battle with my eyes to stay awake, but they were winning. I heard Sue moving around the room, and once in a while I could feel her hands pressing on my ribs. Everything she would press the tender part of my body I could cry out in pain and try to get away from her. Embry would tell me it was going to be already as he held me in place. I just wanted to go to sleep so maybe the pain to go away.

The last thing I remember is someone lifting me up, into a sitting position, and my shirt being pulled over my head. The pain hand gone away because I think I was given some pills by Sue. All that was left was the exhaustion, so I couldn't fight whoever was pulling my clothes off. I tried to fight the fog but it soon took over and all I could see was darkness.

-E&E-

When I woke up it was pitch black and I could feel I was lying in a bed, but I could tell it wasn't mine. I looked around for a clock and saw one that said 2:00 a.m. After being in and out of consciousness I didn't know how long I had actually been out. When my eyes slowly became accustom to the dark I could see there was a nightstand on the left side of the bed and there was a lamp on it, along with the alarm clock. As I moved to turn it on I felt pain and stiffness throughout my body but I pushed threw it so I could turn on the light.

As the light came on I noticed I really wasn't in my room and I was in clothes which didn't belong to me. I was wearing a black t-shirt and shorts. The t-shirt was something I would have never usually wore, but the short where good enough. When I moved I could feel something was wrapped around my sore ribs. Probably to stop me for moving them so much.

Once the lamp was on, I couldn't hold myself up any longer, so I fell back down on the bed. As I fell back I could feel the pain vibrating all over my body so I hissed. I heard a chair scoot across a wooden surface. It hurt my ears so my hand flew up to cover them. I looked to my right and saw Embry standing up and he looked like he was ready to fight. His hand were closed into fists at his side and he was looking around looking for danger. When he saw there was none he looked down at me. The expression on his face broke my heart, as I took my hands away from my ears. The look showed how exhausted he really was, and all I wanted to do was open my arms so I could hold him close to me.

Before I could think more about that thought, he slowly walked over to my side of the bed, and my eyes followed his every move. I watched as he sat on the edge of the bed close to where I lay. It was quiet for a few minutes and we both stared at each other. After a few more minutes. Embry broke the silence by letting out a heavy sigh.

"You scared me," Embry confessed. "A few times there I thought I had lost you."

His voice wasn't above a whisper, but I could still hear it just like I would if he was talking normal. He never took his eyes off of me as he spoke and I did the same. I didn't like the look in his eyes. His light brown orbs were tired and I couldn't say how much it pained me to see him like this.

"I'm sorry," I whispered.

It was quiet again and after a few more minutes of silence, Embry's eyes lit up a little bit. I could see the wheels turning in his and I wish I could hear what he was thinking. He looked my face up and down before he slowly lifted his hand up. Slowly and deliberately he moved it towards my left cheek. He ran his hand the length of my jaw and I felt a tingling sensation go up and down my spine. I thought I would have moved away by now, but I surprised myself by melting into his tender touch. I watched as a smile played at his lips and my heart fluttered.

All too soon, however, Embry's eyes soon darkened as he thought about something and his hand fell from my face. Before I knew it he had jumped off the bed and started pacing around the room with both of his hands gripping his hair. My eyes widened as they followed him up and down the room. What had happened in just a few seconds to make him this way? What had I missed?

"Embry," I called softly.

He stopped his pacing and took a deep breath before looking over at me. I lifted up my hand and reached out for him. I didn't want to see him like this and I didn't like him being so far away from me.

Embry looked down at my outstretched hand, as his eyes soften, and he slowly made his way back over to me, sitting down where he had before. When he was seated I took his hand in mine and held on as tightly as I could, hoping it was enough to hold him in place.

"I'm sorry," Embry muttered. "I'm sorry I scared you. I just have a temper and I can usually control it."

"I don't think you scared me," I began, "in the way you think you scared me."

Another small smile played at his lips, but it didn't reach his eyes. There was just so much I was feeling that I needed to tell him, but knew I couldn't. It would only bring him down and I don't know if I could stand doing something like that to a guy like Embry. I would kill myself before I did anything to hurt him.

I thought he would comment on what I had said about him scaring me but he didn't. He looked like he was thinking about something again and by the look that appeared on his face, it looked like Serious Embry was back.

"Elu," Embry breathed, "we need to talk."

'Oh no,' I thought. 'I never had it happened to me but I've heard when someone says they need to talk, it means someone is about to get their heart broken.'

My heart started beating out of my chest and I began to hyperventilate. He couldn't leave me, not after I just got using used to having him around. What was I going to do if he did? I needed him more than I'd like to admit, and today was proof of that.

Embry saw I was starting to panic so he put both of his hands on my face and pressed his forehead against mine. I still couldn't get my breathing to slow down no matter how hard I tried. It sucked being this way.

"Elu, calm down," Embry ordered softly. "I'm not leaving, I promise. I just need to talk to you about what I saw when Sue and I were cleaning you up."

'Oh no,' I groaned to myself. 'He saw them. He saw what I have been trying so hard to hide for years.'

I pulled away so I could look him in the eyes. Putting my hand on his, I pulled them off of my face and held one of his in both of mine. How was I going to get myself out of this one? Maybe I was wrong. Maybe he didn't see what I think he saw. I guess there was only one way to find out.

"What did you see?" I squeaked.

"Elu... sweetheart," Embry said. "I saw the scars… Please tell me what happened? How did you get them? Did someone do this to you?"

So I wasn't wrong. My panic started to grow once more and my breaths started to become rapid again. I needed to get him off the subject. If I didn't it we were going to get into a big fight and I couldn't stand the thought of that. It was time to play dumb. He didn't need to be brought down because of my past.

"I don't know," I whispered, as I looked down at our hands. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Embry put his finger – with his free hand – under my chin and lifted my head up so I was looking at him. There was concern written all over his face and it still broke my heart to see him like this. He didn't need to feel concern for me, I wasn't that important.

"Beautiful please," Embry begged. "I want to protect you and help you, but I can't if I don't know what I'm going to protect you from."

"You can't protect me from this," I whispered. "It'll get worse if you interfere. Even if you tried to protect me I don't know if you could do it forever. No matter what happens, no matter how hard you and I try, it'll keep coming back no matter what."

I turned my face way from him, so I didn't have look at his heart breaking expression. I was doing the last thing I wanted to ever do. I was hurting him. This was the hardest thing I ever had to do. I wouldn't be able to lie if I kept looking at him.

"I won't be able to try to protect you," Embry stated, while leaning over to get my attention back, "if you don't tell me what you're afraid of. Don't you trust me?"

Letting his words sink into my head I slowly looked back up into his eyes. How could I make him understand I did trust him – more than I trusted anybody for a long time – I just couldn't tell him what was going on in my life?

"Embry," I sighed, "I do trust you, but if I tell you it might only cause more problems, and I just can't do that to you."

No matter how long I tried to make my emotions go away over the years, I couldn't help it when Embry brought them back. I really did have feelings for him but with my screwed up life I couldn't tell him how I really felt. It would only bring him down and I wasn't going to do that to him. Not when he was the only person in this world I cared about.

"I'm willing to face these problems" Embry stated firmly, "as long as you're okay and safe with me."

"Embry I just can't," I whispered.

"And why the hell not?"

I jumped at his harsh town. The look in his eyes were almost angry and I flinched under his gaze. He was going to leave now and it was all my fault. If only I didn't fall for him like I promised myself I wouldn't. I could have steered clear of this situation all together, if I didn't let him in. I tried to hold back the tears as I looked down at my hands.

"I'm not ready to tell anyone yet," I muttered. "Is that so wrong Embry?"

A few seconds went by and then I heard a sigh. I looked up again and he had his eyes closed. It looked like he was counting to ten in his head… just like I did. When he opened his eyes he looked sad, and I wanted nothing more than to touch his face.

"You're right Beautiful," he nodded. "I'm sorry. You take all the time you need. I'm always here when you're ready to talk about it. I'm sorry I tried to push you into talking. Considering what happened I should have known you wouldn't want to talk right now."

"Thank you," I whispered.

The both of us were quiet for a little bit longer and I took this moment in time to study his face. The more I looked at him the more I thought he was the handsomest man a live and he was here with me. I never noticed before but his lips were perfect and full, it took all of myself control not to pull him close to me so I could feel them against mine. Next to look at was his eyes. He's light chocolate brown orbs looked over my face in the same way I was looking at his. That's when I again noticed the dark purple circles under eyes.

"It's almost three in the morning," I stated. "You should get some sleep. We have school soon."

A small smile appeared on his handsome face and I recognized it as his 'I know something you don't' smile. Like everything else he did, this smile was cute, even though he pissed me off with it.

"You're not going to school today," Embry informed me.

"What?" I asked, rising my eyebrow. "What do you mean I'm not going to go to school today? You mean I'm staying here all day… alone? Speaking of which where is here?"

Embry laughed a full hearted laugh. This was one of my favorite laughs he would do. I hadn't heard him laugh like this all day yesterday so it was relief to hear it again.

"You're at Sue's place," he explained. "And yes you're staying here. You need to rest after the… after what happened yesterday. Though you're not going to be here alone. Sue's right down stairs and so is Leah. Plus I'll be staying with you. I have to keep you safe somehow, don't I."

"But what about school?" I questioned. "I can't miss school and neither can you."

"Yes you can, and you will. Considering you have classes with just about everyone we know they will being us our homework we missed."

"But–"

"No but's Beautiful. You're staying here with me and that's that. Don't worry about a thing. I've got it all taken care of."

I let go of Embry's hand and crossed my arms over my chest. The movement sent a shock of pain all over my body but I tried hard to ignore it. I wasn't happy about the whole thing and I hadn't really noticed we were back to the whole Beautiful nickname thing. I thought we were done with that. I guess not.

"Fine," I pouted.

"Now looks who pouting," Embry stated with a laugh. "Well come on. It's time for bed."

As he got off the bed I unfolded my arms and gently slid under the covers. When he saw I was situated he pulled the covers up to my, chin and then kissed me on the forehead. I watched as he stood up straight while he turned out the lamp on the nightstand. That's when the terror set in again. I started to shake and my hands flew out from under the blankets, before grabbing onto Embry's burning arm.

"Embry," I cried. "Please don't go."

"Elu, I'm not going anywhere," Embry told me for the hundredth time tonight. "I'm just going to grab the chair."

I thought about that for a seconded before something clicked. I didn't want him to sleep in a chair. Surprisingly I wanted him to… sleep… next to me, but how to tell him.

"You don't have to," I whispered.

"I don't have to what?" he asked surprised.

"You don't have to sleep in a chair. I mean… you can sleep… next to me. If you want."

It was once more quiet and my eyes became accustom to the dark again. Embry's expression was a mixture between shock and happiness. He looked hesitantly from the bed and then the chair. I could tell he really wanted to, but he didn't know if it was really what I wanted. I was going to have to beg.

"Please," I murmured. "Sleep with me."

"Are you sure that's what you want?" he whispered.

"Yes. Please."

"Alright. Hold on a second."

I slowly let go of his arm and my eyes followed Embry as made his way over to the other side of where I lay. He laid down beside me, and I slowly and gently rolled over as I put my head on his chest. I hissed in pain as it caught up with my body, but it didn't take it long to go away. At first I felt Embry freeze, probably because he was surprised I was cuddling up next to him, but soon he wrapped his arms around me and held me close. I let out a sigh of contentment. I felt Embry gently rub circles on my back like he had done in the truck on the way here. Soon I was drifting off to sleep wrap in warm arms and I had never felt better.

"I love you Elu," Embry whispered softly.

Figuring I was hearing things, I let the exhaustion carry me off to sleep. Who knew being in Shock would make someone this tired? I just hoped I never let myself get into that situation again.

-E&E-

Edited:

7/15/16

9/23/16

11/2/16