Chapter 9

A/N: I'm not sure if I got Sidney in character and apologize if I don't, I tried my best. I'm also not a medicine person and don't know diagnoses. Also not good at maps and locations. The memory that Hawkeye has is based on an actual event that my grandfather saw during WWII. It's sad but he does remember it and sometimes has flashbacks of it. The only difference is that it was in Japan and he was in the Navy and didn't dwell on it as Hawkeye has. I also would like to thank you for the reviews and hope you keep on reviewing! Please enjoy.

Morning came by. It started raining the night before after Hawkeye's incident. The morning fog came rolling in and the air was cool and misty. There was puddles filled with dirty water. As people stepped in it, mud splashed everywhere from boots to pants. This was a relief to the 4077th; they been having a drought. So for this, they were grateful.

Colonel Potter made sure that Corporal Klinger put a call to Sidney Freedman. He was a traveling psychiatrist in Korea and a close knit to the 4077th. He usually came by and made sure mental health was in good shape. He came by often or whenever he could. He would come by in mid-afternoon.

Reassured that he would be coming, the elderly man came to the mess tent for breakfast. Greeting him was BJ and Margaret. Charles was headed in as well, but sat down at a table. Hawkeye was with Cicada at another table. She was eating and he was drinking his coffee in silence. The Colonel was looking over at them.

"Sidney is going to be here this afternoon, so that's good. I'm surprised that the woman hasn't cracked yet. I suggest he get a session with her too. She just doesn't talk. I wonder if I could get her personal record... No matter. You ladies and gentlemen don't have to worry about a thing." With that, he went into the line to get he usual powdered eggs and bacon. He then came back, and sat with the three.

"What could of happened to him?" Margaret asked as she sipped her coffee. She was also well concerned for the chief surgeon.

"I don't know, but whatever it is, Sidney will get it out in the open." The Colonel ate his eggs and then asked BJ, "Any other incident last night?"

"No, actually, he slept like a baby after we woke him. No shouting, or nightmares." BJ replied and continued to eat what was left of his food.

Charles sat and listened carefully.

There was silence afterwards.

At Hawkeye's and Cicada's table, they started to talk in hushed voices, so no one would hear.

"So, what now?" Cicada wondered as she put her fork down to look at Hawkeye.

"Well, but guess, they'll probably call in a psychiatrist. Sidney Freedman. He'll examine me and probably you but not at the same time and we'll hopefully be crazy enough to go home." Hawkeye looked at her.

"Ummm Hawk? I meant to tell you, next week, I'm going home. Remember when I called Tokyo? Well they said I was wounded enough and did my movement and was able to go home. I asked about you and they said you can't go home. You still have 'duty' as they call it. I personally don't believe them, but if this... Sidney Freedman diagnoses you right, then you will be home free!"

"You mean to tell me that you can go home, and I have to stay in this hellhole?"

"I'm sorry, Hawkeye." Cicada was sympathetic now, the news hurts him so. Who could blame him?

"I hate this war!" After he said that, he stormed out back to the Swamp and stayed there leaving his tray on the table with Cicada. Colonel Potter, BJ and Margaret didn't mind, he was usually like that at breakfast. Cicada sat by herself and finished her coffee. Following that, she went back to the VIP tent because there was nothing for her to do at a MASH unit.

--

Mid Afternoon 2:00

An army green jeep went through the camp near the post op's entrance. Mud was on the tires and the whole outdoors. A man with a brown mustache and curly brown hair came out. He saluted the driver and went on his way to see his next patient. He went to Colonel Potter's office.

"Sidney! Good to see you, want a drink?" The Colonel greeted.

"No thanks, Colonel. So, whose my patient this time?" Sidney sat himself down and listened to Colonel Potter.

"Pierce." He said solemnly.

"Hawkeye really? What happen?" The psychiatrist responded.

"Ok, the lowdown. Him and another nurse, whom you'll be looking at too were sent to an aid station and didn't come back for two weeks. The reason: they were prisoners of war. Captured and escaped here three night ago. Lately, Pierce has been shouting in the night, crying for help and all. Nightmares. He doesn't talk much and stays in the Swamp. As for the girl, she's quiet as a mouse. She doesn't have any nightmares, but stirs somewhat. Also, she wasn't as shocked to be back as Hawkeye was. Something must of happened before." The Colonel took a break and looked at Sidney.

Sidney took each word in to try to figure out the puzzle. After a moment's thought, he finally said "Each one has had trauma, or a memory they rather not bring up. Something is hiding inside of them and is affecting them in a way. The way they talk and such. I'll talk to Hawkeye first, since he has the nightmares." He leaned back in his chair.

"I will have to warn you, Sidney, he isn't the same. He lost weight, he scrawnier and has more white and gray in his hair. He's not as cheery as he used to be. But, that's why you're here. I hope you can help him."

"I'll do the best I can. In the meantime, I'd like to stay in the Swamp and observe him if possible." Sidney took his things and head to the Swamp. Inside, Hawkeye was sleeping and BJ was drinking gin and greeted Sidney warmly.

"Good to see you, Sidney. Your patient is in exposed right now and can't talk, but later you can." BJ took a sip of gin.

"That's alright. So how have you been?" Sidney set his stuff down and sat on the cot.

"Oh, ok I guess. Hawkeye's my main concern. I have never seen him act this way before, Sidney. Even when he came back, he wasn't the same. He seem paranoid of me, and exhausted. He lost so much weight that I barely recognized him. I thought he was someone else. But Sidney, he's a new person. I don't think he even recognize me. I don't know what to do!" BJ calmed down and offered Sidney a drink, he accepted.

"You did everything you could. Something a friend would do. I wouldn't worry, I'll see what's bugging him." Sidney sipped his new gin and Hawkeye stirred a little. Sidney stared at him, so did BJ. "Has he been sleeping lately?"

"Somewhat, he walks around a lot except for Captain Sarkinsian."

"Captain Sarkinsian? Who is she?"

"She's an nurse, who needed assistance at the aid station and it was Hawkeye's turn to go. I don't know much, she keeps to herself too. I do know that her name is Cicada."

"Like the bug?"

"I suppose so. She was also wounded when she got here. Pretty bad too. Not severe, but bad."

"I'm guessing that she stole Hawkeye's heart and both got captured."

"And she hasn't gotten any nightmares. Nothing. No flashbacks. Just silent."

"She must of experience this before."

At that moment, Hawkeye sprung up like a canon. He looked around the room and Sidney watched him. Potter was right, he has changed. He was skinner, he did look scrawny and he did look weak. Hawkeye's changed. Sidney caught his eye. He stretched and just sat.

"Hi, Hawkeye." Sidney said.

Hawkeye paused for a moment then finally managed to say "Hi Sidney. They must of told you I'm a nut case, huh?" He did his sly smiled and BJ came into the conversation.

"Well, I'll just leave you two alone and come back later. See ya Hawk, Sidney." BJ got up and left the room.

It was silent for about ten minutes and Sidney started talking. "I see you had some adventure while I was gone, huh?"

Hawkeye set him a glare. "How would you know?" He snapped.

"I have my sources. I hear that you have been having nightmares and keeping to yourself except for Captain Sarkinsian."

"So?"

"Do you like her?"

"Sidney, where is this going? If I didn't like her, then why do I keep talking to her?" He paused then said "Of course I like her."

"Are you in a relationship?"

"Not yet."

"Tell me what happened. The nightmares."

"I rather not."

"Come on, Hawk. You'll feel better once you get it out."

Hawkeye stood up and walked around the room before replying. He was limping and Sidney noticed it. It was bad.

"How did you get the limp?" Sidney asked.

"I fell." Hawkeye snapped.

"Where did you fall?"

"In a cell."

"Was that where the nightmares started?"

"No. It was a beach."

Sidney noticed that Hawkeye was starting to open up. He leaned back in his chair and crossed one leg over the other putting his hands on there. He had to be patient and it was going to be hard. "A beach, huh?"

"Yea."

"How did you get on the beach?"

Hawkeye took a deep breath and leaned against the Swamp door with arms crossed. He started to talk. He couldn't hide it anymore. He was caught red hand. He had to bring the memory back to life to get Sidney off his back.

"After I was caught, we went to a prison camp. I stayed there for about a day and moved out again. This time, near the edge of Korea. The Pacific Ocean. They loaded their belongings, tying me to the cart like a slave with rope. The guards sat in the cargo nice and cozy with their guns pointing out in case I messed up. I walked, or limped besides the.

"We got there and on the way was a beach. I wasn't paying attention then. On the beach was a cliff facing the ocean blue. We passed by it as we were heading our way.

"It was a slow walked and they unloaded near a small shack like thing. They untied me to come with them. Apparently, they don't trust me and they pulled me by the rope to come along. I did. We went back to the beach with reasons unknown. It was only five minutes away.

"We finally got there and on the cliff was a line. A line of people. Big, small, young and old. It consisted of women and children. Mind you that the cliff was wide and there the water was deep." Hawkeye took a break for a moment, since he voice was cracking.

Sidney made him continue. "Why were they standing in line?"

Hawkeye continued. "I watched them. So did the guards and they were smiling. They mumbled something in Korean which I don't speak or understand. They people too. It wasn't loud. But each person, or the majority of the people in the line were mumbling something. A woman stood on the cliff at the point of it. I saw that she was young, somewhere in her 20s. She was sobbing softly. I saw it. Her hands reached her face to wipe the tears. She then spread her arms out and... and she, dropped. She dropped. SHE DROPPED!! She hit the water! She committed her own SUICIDE!" Hawkeye started crying then in between said "The next was a child and he did the same thing! One by one!!" He cried loudly. He wasn't done. "I shouted out to them! I shouted NO! They did not hear me. They never listened to me! I started to run, but the guards yanked my rope harder and fell. They pinned me down like prey. I still shouted. I shouted for a long time. The guards kicked sand in my face so I would shut up. I finally did. I couldn't save those women!!" He cried some more uncontrollably now. Sidney just let him. That's what's bugging him. He thought.

Sidney sat for a moment, then put his hand on Hawkeye's shoulder for sympathy, and let his friend cry.