We ride for hours until the acrid smoke fills not only the air but my lungs and along with the burning in my throat and eyes are the memories that come flying into my head of the pyre I built to burn my family and friends after they were slaughtered and I cling tightly to the necklace that Galadriel gave me as I slip down from the horse and walk in a daze towards the smouldering mass of bodies.
"It's one of their wee belts," Gimli's voice is gruff as it breaks through my thoughts and I shudder as I look away guilt washing through me so strongly it makes my knees buckle and sending me to the ground, which is lucky since a second later a helmet flies through the air where my head had been accompanied by a roar from Aragorn. I turn startled as he kneels himself, never before had I seen such an open display of emotion from him and it unnerved me. Slowly I move to my feet and struggle over to him, not sure how to approach him as our relationship had become suddenly strained again. For a moment I let my hand hover over his shoulder unsure as to how I should proceed and then my eye catches something on the ground beside him.
"A hobbit lay here," I say in a whisper kneeling beside him and touching the ground, he looks up at me before following my line of view and then further.
"And the other one," he says moving slightly across the ground.
"Their hands were bound," I add in a choked voice trying not to imagine the pain and fear that had been inflicted on them, trying to push it away as I follow him.
"Their bonds were cut," Aragorn almost shouts as he holds a broken piece of rope and I concentrate on the ground again trying not to let the hope build within me too quickly.
"They ran but they were followed," I say as I move forwards again ahead of the others now,
"Into Fangorn forest," Aragorn says as he comes to a halt beside me, where I have stopped staring into the darkness of the forest, trying to ignore the oppressive feeling that seems to force its self over me.
"What Madness drove them in there?"
"Fear of the creatures that followed them," I say quietly and a slight pressure on my hand causes me to glance to my left where Legolas stood calmly.
As we force our way through the dense foliage of the forest the adrenaline was still pumping through me, I was desperate to find them, to save them.
"You can track," Legolas comments, not really a question and I'm not sure for a second whether he requires an answer but I decide that the silence of the forest was oppressive enough without me adding to it even if Aragorn was mad at me for some unknown reason.
"Yes Hallebrad the ranger who taught me speak elvish and wield a sword and bow when I was young taught me,"
"You do him credit,"
"I don't know about that but I try, it has been a long time since I tried to track though… not since, well not since my village was attacked," I reply and his hand once again briefly finds mine to give it a squeeze.
"This forest is old, very old, full of memory… and anger," he says now and I wince as I too hear the groaning of the trees around me.
"Gimli lower your axe," Aragorn mutters and he does so although not without some wary glances around first. My attention is drawn away as I hear more moaning in the trees and a new feeling washing over me. I turn to face the others aware that they have stopped moving for the moment so I won't get too lost.
"Peyson get behind me," the voice sounds so urgent that I spin quickly pulling my sword as I do so staring around wildly looking for an enemy.
"What is it?" I ask in a quivering voice but he doesn't answer me instead the ranger merely grabs my arms and pulls me roughly behind his form while I do my best not to wince when he hits against a still fresh bruise and scrape.
"The white wizard approaches you must not let him speak," Legolas warns and I gulp offering a small nod instead of replying unsure if I could reply without my voice giving away my fear. We stand in an offensive position as a bight white light begins to shroud us completely, Legolas fires an arrow which is immediately deflected, Gimli roaring launches his axe which is also instantly sent flying in the other direction. A growl is sounded from in front of me as Aragorn drops his sword and it is only at this point that I feel the burning pain in my own hands and drop my sword quickly with a yelp and nurse my hands examining the blisters forming there.
"They met someone they did not expect… does that ease your mind?" the voice is eerily familiar and yet I cannot place it as the pain in my hands is forgotten and I glance up, shielding my face from the blinding light.
"Show yourself," Aragorn demands angrily and to my surprise the light begins to fade until I am left staring into a face I had not hoped to ever see again.
"Gandalf," Gimli says and the buzzing in my ears increases as he begins to talk and I attempt to understand what he has said, what has happened, how this is possible.
"Gandalf," Aragorn says his voice calming the thundering in my head and allowing me to come back to the present.
"Gandalf… Yes that is what they used to call me, Gandalf the Grey, I am Gandalf the White,'" he smiles.
"I…" I can't finish what I am saying instead I just rush forward and embrace him tightly causing him to stiffen for a second before returning the embrace with a chuckle.
"Come we must make our way to Edoras," he says eventually pulling me away slightly and frowning as he sees my face.
"Edoras that is no short distance," Gimli grumbles which makes me laugh, in fact I feel quite hysterical suddenly.
"What about Merry and Pippin?" I ask,
"They are safe child, in fact they are a great deal safer than we are about to be," he replies, brilliant more danger just what I need.
It is as we leave the darkness of the forest and step back into the soothing embrace of the sun and fresh clean air, not tainted by fear and anger that the exhaustion seems to hit me. I had not slept in days, I was wounded, none of the wounds had been treated and I was confused as hell about why Aragorn is angry with me. I suddenly feel as if I cannot possibly take another step and I feel lightheaded and ill.
"What is it Peyson?" Aragorn is suddenly in front of me and even through the residual anger I can still read on his face there is concern in his eyes and I feel relieved slightly that he doesn't hate me completely.
"I don't… I don't feel great," I admit quietly my legs wobbling slightly as I try to pull myself together and move forward, I need to let him no I am not a burden after all I had done wrongly but as if my body was against me this action only cause my legs to collapse beneath me and my body to crumple to the floor.
"Come you shall rest while I ride," he says almost gently as he lifts me into his arms.
"No, I'll be fine in a moment, you need rest too," I mutter my eyes already growing heavy.
"Little one," he says with a heavy sigh making me shudder as I hear his nick name for me for what feels like the first time in forever, "you are wounded and exhausted I should have made you rest before," I open my mouth to disagree but he shakes his head at me and I decide against it huffing out a little sigh of my own as I am put on the back of a horse feeling him land neatly behind me seconds later. "Rest little one," he orders and I do, too exhausted to refuse him.
When I wake it is later into the night and opening my eyes a little I can see that Aragorn and Legolas are a little in front of me talking as Aragorn throws cloth onto the fire.
"Lleaya nyara he` lle sinta" (you should tell her you know) Legolas says calmly and Aragorn pauses in his fiddling with his pipe to look up at his friend.
"Eller naa nothien nyar-" (there is nothing to tell) he replies before staring back at the fire before him.
"Lle naa just goien kol- no' lettien he` dura tanya re has done somethien a' wrong lle?" (You are just going to carry on letting her believe that she has done something to wrong you?) Legolas says and I suddenly pay a little more attention as I realise they are speaking about me.
"Re-aya il- caela spoken a' ho e' tanya men" (she should not have spoken to him in that way) Aragorn snaps and Legolas glances at me before he speaks again.
"Re naa an innocent re sinta il- i' intentions en' others ar' lle punish he` ten' tanya? lle naa Mellonamin estel nan' lle naa wrong ar' amin will il- stand a' elea lle treat he` e' sina men ten' en' lle own gorga," (She is an innocent she knows not the intentions of others and you punish her for that? You are my friend Estel but you are wrong and I will not stand to see you treat her in this way because of your own fear) Legolas sounds almost as angry as he did when he was threatening Eomer earlier as he says this before he walks swiftly away into the night. I lay there my heart pounding and confusion filling me.
"You are angry with me because I spoke to Eomer?" I ask eventually in a shocked whisper and he whips round so quickly for a second I think he may have injured himself.
"You were eaves dropping," he scowls,
"You forget I speak elvish," I say annoyed at his avoidance of my question.
"You should not have paraded yourself like that I told you to stay hidden," he says after a while and I am on my feet in an instant.
"He was being friendly and I was trying to be polite to defuse the tension," I hiss at him careful not to wake Gimli and Gandalf.
"He was too forward and you allowed him to be," he growls also on his feet and standing in front of me.
"You are going mad," I say in bewilderment and he chuckles quietly and mirthlessly at me.
"He has designs on you already," his face is inches from mine now and I can feel the angry flush growing across it.
"So what if he does?" I explode lowering my voice instantly as Gimli snorts and stirs in his sleep. "You have no hold over me Aragorn, you are in love with someone else and…" I break off gasping a little tears burning in my eyes as I realise what I have said and looking at his face I see he is looking just as shocked as me and I almost do not know what to say.
"You are right I have no hold over you I was simply trying to protect you," he says quietly after a while and I feel my heart break as he says these words. Confirmation that he does not love me and never could. I cannot speak the hurt is so real that I feel physical pain so instead I nod at him a tiny bit and then somehow make it away from the camp far enough away that I'm a certain he will not hear me cry.
It is hours before my tears have dried and I allow myself to slip into a restless sleep with Galadriel's necklace clutched in my hand.
"Peyson, we must be moving now," the voice washes over me and after a minute I recognise it as Legolas' and I sit up groggily my head pounding from my outpouring of emotion and slowly healing wounds. "Oh Peyson I am so sorry, he did not mean it," he sighs as he takes in my face and I turn away from him slightly unwilling to relive it all so soon.
"May I ride with you today?" I ask instead in a small voice and he nods as he helps me up and I fasten my weapons to my person more securely. We approach the others already waiting by the horses and after a quick word in Gimli's ear who immediately growls and sends a sneer in Aragorn's direction before dismounting and moving towards him.
"Peyson will ride with me today she is still weak and I can better care for her while we ride without having to stop for rest," Legolas says and I know no one is convinced by this excuse and I notice an emotion cross Aragorn's face but it is gone before I can work out what it is and trying not to show the hurt he has caused me I let Legolas help me mount before he jumps up in front of me and we move off.