Author's Note

Please forgive any spelling and/or grammar errors. I hope you enjoy, please let me know what you think!

I don't think I pulled anything directly from the book, but just in case - any dialogue you recognize is from Twilight, New Moon or Breaking Dawn. Most has changed at least a little, but there are a few bits from the book. PS I'm not Stephenie Meyer, so I don't own anything :(

Part 2: Awakening

Falling in love with you was never my intention. But it became my addiction.

Anonymous

Chapter 10 - Bella

Awareness came at Bella with a vengeance. It was her punishment for wanting to become a vampire. Her selfish desire to be part of this life now meant that she had to endure the suffering of changing tenfold. There was no way her family had undergone such agony and remained functional. No one could endure the fires of hell and come out unscathed.

Surely that was where she was - hell. Flickering red flames danced across her useless eyelids, shrouding everything. They no longer worked, singed and burned as they'd been in the first moments.

Her body was nothing more than a withered husk. Bella idly wondered if her family was even now disposing of the useless, charred remains. There was no way she was coming back from such significant and extensive ruination.

The black abyss that had been her temporary sanctuary was out of reach. Bella searched for it, clawed and scratched her way there, dragging her mangled corpse behind, but the path back to the peace of nothing was nowhere to be found. She was blindly circling the elusive relief, stumbling through the dense forest without a compass, sun, or stars to guide her.

Fiery branding irons were drug slowly across her skin leaving trails of sizzling, blackened and burnt flesh in their wake. The dead tissue seemed to curl and flake off, revealing brand new skin ripe and ready for torment.

She'd thought she knew what to expect since she'd experienced James's bite - how utterly laughable. A mosquito bit. An irritant rash gone before it'd been properly scratched raw. That had been nothing. Nothing!

Her new reality was infinitely worse. And it had only just begun. Three days? She wasn't going to be able to hold out three more minutes!

There was no way of knowing how long she'd been numb to the pain before it had begun registering. No way of knowing how long of a reprieve she'd been granted. It hadn't been long enough. That was the only truth she was sure of.

Edward had tried to warn her about the pain. He'd said - No! He was the reason things had gone wrong. She would not think about him. Bella forcefully shoved all thoughts of him aside. Anything and everything that could potentially remind her of him was unwelcome.

That was rather difficult though, seeing as he'd come to be the center of her world. Almost from the first moment she saw him. She'd loved him before ever getting to know him. Everything she did and felt had involved him in some way. It was all based on her desperate desire to be with him. She'd let herself become so dependent on Edward that there was next to nothing left of her that was separate.

For a moment Bella forgot her own name. Then it happened again. And again. Long stretches of endless pain punctuated with moments of impossible lucidity where she recalled that this had been something she'd actively sought. Then her mind would rebel, desperate to escape the reality of her inflicting such torment on herself.

That was why this was happening? Right? She'd asked for it… A bargain of some sort…

Her mind was unable to cope with the events that had lead her here. It was too disorienting. But perhaps something important had happened… That sounded right. Didn't it?

Bella couldn't recall, though she wanted to. Some instinctive need for survival hinted that if she knew, it would help her hold on, because she could feel herself slipping.

Slipping away.

Slipping from the family she loved. Charlie, her father. Carlisle, her adoptive father - the one she'd be granted eternity with if she could just hang on.

Edward left her. He didn't want her. Without him, was there a reason she should even try to hold on? What was the point if she wasn't with him in the end? She wished she'd never met him. Without him, she wouldn't be suffering now.

He was at the center of this pain. She'd been holding on to him, for him. But now she had no reason to continue. He'd made that perfectly clear.

Her fingers loosened. Reality wavered. A sweaty grip not sufficient enough to grasp and cling to the only hold preventing her from plummeting to her ultimate, final death.

Blackness threatened. A black hole that beckoned temptingly. She'd wanted that, yet now she could see that if her tenuous grip on reality eased even a fraction more, she'd be lost forever. Her survival was still uncertain. She wanted to live. Bella hadn't fought this hard and this long to give up now. Someone still needed her even if Edward didn't.

Someone… Who?

She couldn't remember. There was a gaping emptiness where the knowledge should be. It was cold, dark, foreign.

Bella just had to hold on. Now she fought against the enclosing blackness. She'd have to try remembering again later. For now, she was a drowning person flailing for the surface, reaching for the precious oxygen that was so close, yet so far. Survival was her first priority. She had to hold on. Just hold on.

That had been her recent life, from what she could recall. Holding on. Chasing after the supernatural people in her life. Her friends… Jacob! Yes, she remembered her best friend. Jacob.

Jacob's smile and warmth - a warmth that seemed frozen compared to the flames currently slicing her from the inside out, flicking like a thousand tiny whips - usually made her happy. Jacob, for all his pushy and immature, thoughtless comments, never saw Bella as weak. Certainly not weak enough to give up right now. He was her friend. Her protector when she'd had no one else.

Why had she had no one else though? The knowledge was so close. She reached… and reached… searching. Pain erupted. A volcano exploding, releasing a pyroclastic flow. It bombarded her, steamrolling at four hundred miles per hour.

Edward had abandoned her in a forest after telling her she wasn't good enough for him.

No! She didn't want to remember that.

Think of Jacob. Her best friend. Hold on to that memory.

No matter how many times she had hurt Jacob, he kept coming back. Stubbornly trying to love her, though he shouldn't. She'd never love him back. Not romantically at least. She'd tried, but that essential spark just wasn't substantial enough to last. He would only ever be her best friend. And he was there for her when Edward abandoned her. He helped her survive the worst pain she'd known up to that point.

No. She couldn't think of how much Edward had hurt her. The idea of her physical pain competing with her emotional pain was too much to contemplate. It would surely consume her.

Thoughts raced through Bella's mind as she frantically searched for something positive to focus on, something that would help her hold on.

Then there was Alice. Her sister. Bella was going to be like her. Alice had seen it. All along she'd been convinced this would one day happen. Not that he'd wanted it to happen. He'd never wanted her -

No. Focus on Alice, Bella reminded herself. They'd have forever together. Though that might be difficult now if Edward -

Bella again cut the thought off with the sharpest mental scissors she possessed. She would not think of him. She could not. Not if she had any hope of coming through the fire she was finding more and more tempting to surrender to.

There had been one other time in her life that was full of pain and heartache where she'd had to teach herself not to let her mind wander where it would. She'd had plenty of practice not thinking about the one that hurt her - repeatedly.

Cutting the thought off also meant surrendering her mind. Her identity, so entwined with the one she longer to forget, meant forgetting herself. The memory of who she was disappeared. Her identity vanished.

She plunged into the crucible, surrendering to the fires intent on melting and forging her anew.

She came back slowly. Thoughts aside from pain gradually formed. Her mind became clearer. The feel of her heart pounding was a physical presence her senses were all too aware of. Was that normal?

There was something… Something about a promise to keep that heart beating. She concentrated on it, counting the beats and reassuring herself that she was continuing to keep the promise. It was important somehow, tied as it was to… What? A person? An event?

Her sharpening mind spun in useless, frantic circles. Blindfolded. Alone in the dark. Illiterate in the most elaborate and extensive library on the planet.

She was a detective without any clues or leads.

All the while there was pain. Blistering, searing heat scalding her. On and on it went.

That important something, the one tying her to life, still refused to come to mind. Try as she might, she could not recall the one thing she knew beyond a shadow of a doubt would give her the strength to survive this.

Just as she located the place in her brain that the memory was stored, she lost sight of it. It slipped away like water through grasping fingers. The creases forming gaping holes that let the liquid pass right through.

She forgot her own name again. Forgot where she was from. Who she loved. Where she was. Everything.

Only pain remained. The searing of being roasted on a spit over a bed of hot coals. The agony of spikes from an iron maiden slowly piercing her everywhere at once. The shock of a thousand bolts of lightning hitting her over and over.

The raging heat smothered her, scorching every inch of her charred body. A heavy, relentless weight pinned her in place making it impossible to move or scream. Internally, she burned, twisting in the flames, screaming herself hoarse. Externally, she lay immobile and silent, offering no clues to the anguish she experienced.

Then a face came to her. Loose, honey blond curls and golden eyes. Strong, broad shoulders. He was safety personified. There was relief from the sensations she was experiencing. He grounded her, centered her. Made it easier to compartmentalize the pain and breathe through it. She clung to the image and emotion, gripped the diamond hard cables connecting the two of them with her fingers, squeezed so tight she'd never be able to release her hold - not that she could ever imagine wanting to. Who was he?

Bella. She was Bella and the face belonged to Jasper. They'd never been close before. Edward - No! Edward was pain and betrayal. The thought stopped dead in its tracks, and her mind returned to Jasper, focusing on him as a distraction from the pain. Jasper was strength and faith. The two so undeniably different.

It was only recently that Bella had started getting to know Jasper. He was helping her with something. The important something that she needed to remember. Even now he was keeping his promise to her. His promise to…

Renesmee.

Her baby. The phantom presence had been the memory of her little nudger. Her perfect, beautiful little girl. The one she'd fought for. She had to keep fighting. For her. To return to her. To survive for her. Soon, though not soon enough, she'd get to see her daughter again. If only she could endure her current agony.

Her baby girl had smiled at her. She'd known Bella was her momma. Jasper had told her how much her daughter loved her. Had Renesmee seen and felt Bella's love for her in those too short moments when they met?

The raging fires amped up, fed by a constant fresh supply of fuel until the heat reached a new high. The ultimate pinnacle. It was harder to focus, sweat beaded and evaporated before it had a chance to slide over her skin and offer cooling relief.

If only she had more memories of Renesmee to occupy her mind and distract her from her ceaseless torment!

Memories…

Memories were difficult when all of her most important involved Edward, and she did not want to remember him. Just thinking about him hurt worse than the pain of being burned alive.

There was something she needed to remember. Her own name, her identity fled once more when a lash of flame whipped her, leaving a searing, scalding lick of pain lancing through her. It was impossible to concentrate through it.

Wasn't a person not supposed to feel pain with a third degree burn - the one that went all the way through skin and down to the muscle? Something about damaged and destroyed sensory receptors… So why could she still feel everything? There was no way her burning had remained superficial!

Time passed, and she counted breathes - hers and the others in the house. She could keep track of all of it, each individual person. Her head was so large now. The distractions helped. With each breath she took, she attempted to push the pain to the back of her mind and try once more to remember who she was.

It came slowly. Her awareness of self.

A memory triggered her knowing. She was Bella. Her daughter was Renesmee. Her love for the child was an indelible brand on her heart. Jasper would protect her - with Rose's help. Alice, Emmett, Esme, and Carlisle would help him too.

"If I don't make it - just hear me out - if I don't, please listen - Jasper, promise me that you'll always look after him."

"Him?"

"Just a hunch. Will you?"

"Even if the child is more like you than Edward? More human… you'd trust me with his safety? Even knowing my history, knowing how many I've killed, knowing I'm dangerous? Even knowing that I once tried to kill you, and would have if the family hadn't stopped me?"

"Always. I will always trust you with him. You'd do a better job than anyone else."

"Then I swear he'll always have it. Forever."

Her baby was safe. Jasper had promised. Vowed it even. He always kept his word. He was honorable like that - unlike Edward. A southern gentleman to his core. She was right to trust him with her child's safety. He wouldn't let her down. Edward would not be able to hurt her baby before she was able to protect her herself.

But Bella had been wrong about one thing. It hadn't been a him. No, it was Renesmee. Her perfect daughter.

How could she have forgotten her for even a moment?

Alice hadn't remembered anything from before her change, and the others had all said it was very hard to remember anything. Except Rose. She'd wanted to remember. She'd loved her life, and was unwilling to let go of it, despite the agony eating away at her as she longer to still be part of that former life.

Rose had confessed to replaying the events that lead to her change over and over while her body transitioned. It allowed her to retain more from her human life. Significantly more than any of the others had. Bella had always privately thought that that stubbornness played a significant role in Rose's discontent and resentfulness about what she'd lost when becoming a vampire.

It wasn't the same for Bella though. She wasn't giving up anything she couldn't live without. Rather she was gaining everything she wanted. Her memories wouldn't inspire feelings of loss and bitterness. Instead, they were the stepping stones leading her on the path to eternal happiness. So Bella didn't want to forget her human life either. She wanted to keep those memories long after all of the people she'd loved had died, their bones disintegrated to nothing but ash and the writing on their tombstones had weathered smooth.

All of her memories - except the ones of Edward. She didn't want Rose's issues. She didn't want to live with regret or heartache or be the zombie she'd been after the first time he'd left her. Bella didn't want to remember the one that hurt her. The one that left a hole in her heart that she doubted could ever be filled. If she forgot him, she'd wake up whole after changing. A shiny new penny. It would be a fresh start, like hitting a reset button.

Bella was already so far in that it was hard to call up some events, but she started with her parents. There were unwanted trips to Forks to visit her dad that ended up with Bella reading while he watched a sports game more often than not. Planting vegetables that would never grow in a dusty, desert garden with her mom. Fishing trips spent playing with a set of dark-haired twins - their names eluded her, already burned away. Adventures in painting and cooking with her erratic mother. A rock climbing escapade when she was ten that ended with her mom rushing her to the hospital. A sub-par dinner at the lodge with her dad after graduating high school.

Once every memory she could conjure had been cemented into her altering brain, she did the same for her new parents. Carlisle stitching her up and discussing his views on the eternal soul during her last birthday. Talking to Esme while she made brunch the first time Bella had ever stayed over. Getting Carlisle's first-hand help for a paper on the War of 1812 since he'd come to America only a few years before it began. Esme supporting Bella's decision to have Renesmee even though it went against Carlisle's wishes.

All the while the heat burning her to cinders turned up. It steadily, relentlessly increased.

Except when it doubled.

She knew the moment the damage to her spine had been repaired. Bones, tendons, cartilage, ligaments, and nerves altered by the venom became whole once more allowing pain signals from her legs to reach her brain - how wonderful.

The torture, once concentrated only in her upper body, was suddenly everywhere. This trial to test her worthiness to become a vampire had turned more sadistic than ever. The definition of pain was being constantly redefined.

She would not last. She was unworthy. Only an insane person would ever willingly choose to go through this! No wonder the Cullens had always thought her decisions odd.

New levels hell. She'd definitely descended to all new levels. Wasn't the ninth circle supposed to be covered in ice? Surely she'd descended far even to reach the depths Dante had described. Bella longed for it. The cool relief of that icy plain must be close. She couldn't take much more.

Broken bones - arms, legs and ribs - lacerations, skull fractures, drowning. Bella had experienced it all. But none of it compared. Even the hollow, aching emptiness that followed Edward's leaving -

Nothing. She forgot herself again. A rope tying her past to present was severed so abruptly that she fell, plummeting into the blazing, violent chasm of her burning body.

Her hands reached and scrambled to find purchase. Searching to snag hold of some minute detail that would save her and steer her back, away from the endless pain and towards her awaiting future. Embers scattered as she crashed, surrounding her, dancing merrily like flickering fireflies as she was consumed.

The blistering fire in her chest blazed hotter, centered at her heart. It reverberated through her with the echoing power of a lion's roar.

Hotter. Hotter. Hotter still.

The infinite inferno burned.

She would not survive this. No one could. If only -

"Jazz, prom… is."

"I know. I will. Hang in there, Bella. You'll see her again in a couple days."

Renesmee. Her baby. She was Bella, and Jasper was protecting Renesmee through this change. She had to hang onto that memory. She would survive this - for her daughter's sake.

The moment her jaw unclenched, she clamped it shut and ground her teeth, wishing for the vanished gag. The morphine was gone, its oppressive weight dissipating. The knowledge that she could finally scream, beg for help, plead for death if she chose was not welcome. Rosalie had already warned it wouldn't do any good, that there was no point to screeching and hollering.

More than that, though, was the realization that her innocent baby was somewhere in the house. It would be traumatizing for her to hear her mother's endless screaming. And it was certain to be just that - endless. Bella knew that if she started, her throat would be raw, her vocal cords strained beyond repair if she started because there would be no stopping once the first cry passed her lips. Bella would not put Renesmee through that. She would remain in control.

Renesmee was the most important thing in her life. She remembered all of the precious few moments she'd spent with her. The tiny life she'd carried and longed to demand be returned to her.

Bella wanted to remember everything paramount in her life. That's what she'd been doing before she'd lost herself - remembering.

There were people important to her that she needed to think about, friends from school, the pack, and most importantly, her new family. The memories were dredged up from the depths of her barely lucid mind. There were fewer than before and it was noticeably more difficult to recall clearly. Impressions. That's all they really were at this point. Vague impressions that had already been sandblasted and weathered so thoroughly that the majority of details were missing.

Still she tried anyways.

There was Alice forcing Bella to let her paint her toenails. Emmett teasing her when she tripped on the stairs. Rosalie caring for her through her pregnancy. Jasper telling her she was worth it after his family finalized plans to protect her, uprooting their lives to do so. Jacob teaching her to ride a motorcycle then taking her to the hospital when she banged her head open. Addressing envelopes with Angela just before graduation. Sitting around a bonfire surrounded by giant Quileutes as their tribal legends were shared. Alice returning to Forks, worried that she'd find Bella dead. Jasper telling her about the guilt he felt over the humans he'd killed.

On and on. Faster and faster. More and more memories flooded her brain, crystallizing into the new impenetrable structure.

All thoughts of Edward were immediately shut down followed by a quick reprimand. He represented pain and the constricting prevention of all of her dreams and everything she held dear. She did not want to remember him or lose herself as he always seemed to make her do.

It made remembering her new family more challenging. Things were taken out of context, skewed until they made little sense. Especially considering how hard it already was to remember anything at all. But Bella was satisfied with how much she felt certain she'd managed to hold onto. Even if they turned out dim and murky, she'd recall the love she felt for these people.

More time passed. Ages. Eons. Millenia. Decades. It had no meaning and she had no way to tell how much.

Without the morphine she knew she could move, but knew that doing so would be a very bad idea. She had to resist. If she moved even a fraction, her fragile composure would be obliterated. She'd fall to pieces.

She longed for the blackness she'd first fought against, the promise of empty oblivion, but it was far too late for that. She was too far in.

All the while, her mind continued expanding. It shifted and grew, allowing her more room to process information. It was easier than ever to think even as it became harder to remember. Soon there was infinite space inside her head. Enough room to feel the agony of changing on a whole new level - in surround sound, technicolor, the works - and take in more of what was happening in the house. Sounds were louder, clearer. Scents stronger, more distinct.

Someone downstairs was eating a ham and cheese omelet while someone in the next room was aimlessly flipping through channels on the television, only waiting two seconds before moving on to the next.

The new information lingered too, catalogued in a database to remain forever accessible. It would take no effort to recall either, even a century - or ten - from now. Her mind wanted to take in all it could. Anything to distract her.

Distractions… Someone had once told her how easily vampires were distracted. It was no wonder given how much she could take in and separate out into their most basic components. Who'd said that? Had it been Edward that first told her?

Edward… he was another Cullen. Right? He'd been important to her, somehow… Hadn't he?

She'd already shied away from remembering Edward for so long it was nearly impossible to drag up any memories at all when she tried. To determine if it had been him to mention distractions or not. Only a few things he'd ever said came to mind with genuine clarity.

"It's like me - nothing but a murderous monster!"

The person she didn't want to remember was a monster? Why did she even know him then? Why was he a part of her life?

Frustrated and confused, Bella tried to make sense of another thing she remembered Edward saying.

"If that - thing - kills you, I swear I will kill it."

Somehow she knew he was referring to Renesmee. Her child… and his. He'd said such an awful thing about his daughter?

Wait… That was the father of her child? Why had she ever been with him to have a child in the first place? It didn't make sense. Bella tried and failed to remember the circumstances that lead to Renesmee's conception. Those details were completely lost to her, an empty vacuum where memories should be. She'd have to settle for asking Alice or Jasper once she managed to survive her current misery.

The only other information she could remember about him was the pain he inflicted from his many broken promises.

"Bella, I don't want you to come with me."

In Phoenix he'd promised to stay. She remembered his saying, "I'm not going anywhere. I'll be right here as long as you need me."

But he didn't.

She'd begged, "Don't leave me."

He'd promised, "I won't."

"You… don't… want me?" she'd asked upon learned the family planned to move from Forks.

And he'd replied, "No."

He'd been up front with her. It was her fault for forcing the issue when he'd already told her how he felt. No wonder it was so easy for him to keep leaving. She shouldn't be surprised that he regretted Renesmee if that was how he felt.

Bella might not understand how Renesmee came to exist given what she remembered, but it made sense that he didn't want to be part of her life. Somehow that was all right. He didn't have to. Bella didn't need him. There was so much else to look forward to. Others she loved that also loved her. The future would still be glorious!

New steps entered the room, strong and deliberate. They approached her side, moving to stand beside her head. Bella heard the slow even breathes and… a hummingbird's wings? No that wasn't right. The sound was too wet. It thumped and sloshed almost like it was - it was a heartbeat! A very, very fast heartbeat. Was that how they all sounded? How distracting school must be to hear that all the time!

Fingers smoothed across her forehead, sliding down to cup her cheek. Instinctively, Bella knew they belonged to a vampire, but they were soft and there wasn't even a hint of coolness to the touch. Already she was becoming like the person gently touching her.

The new presence made it easier to concentrate on her surroundings instead of the raging flames. It was still there. Still excruciating. But no longer the sole, or even primary, focus of her existence.

Another, lighter, set of footsteps approached. The new person nearly skipped as they came into the room only to stop two feet to the right of the first person. Bella was amazed with the sheer amount of detail she could detect without once opening her eyes.

The hand cradling her cheek retracted quickly, as though afraid of getting caught with her. Instantly, Bella missed the tender touch. The contrast between it and the pain of burning was too enormous to quantify.

"Should she be in here?" Alice's tinkling, bell voice asked. The musical quality was crystal clear. Bella could hear individual notes and melodies within it for the first time. The lighter steps must have belonged to Alice.

"She's asleep." Jasper. That was Jasper's deep tenor. The southern drawl more pronounced now that she was hyper aware of her surroundings. His voice was a soothing balm on the fire ant stinging buzzing through her. "Besides, if Bella hasn't screamed yet, she's not going to. Such control - I've never seen the like."

"It'll carry over into her new life," Alice said knowingly.

"You think so?"

"I've seen it. Don't you remember what I said about her first hunt?"

"No. You haven't mentioned it yet," Jasper said gently, almost as if he was trying to avoid hurting her feelings as he carefully reminded Alice that just because she'd seen herself sharing, didn't mean she actually had.

"That's right. I decided I didn't want to spoil the surprise just yet," Alice chimed, laughter and delight shining through.

"I wonder if it's the morphine's influence or just her?" Jasper pondered, letting the mention of Bella's first hunt drop.

Internally, Bella raged. She wanted to know what would happen on her first hunt! Who cares about why she wasn't screaming her head off? Bella already knew the answer to that question, so it held little interest to her as far as conversations went. Why would Alice even mention her hunting though if it wasn't important? Why wasn't Jasper demanding an explanation on her behalf? Were they actively trying to drive her insane? Didn't they understand she needed the diversion?

"It's been suggested that Jane and Alec's gifts manifested as they did because of how they viewed the change. Their impressions and desires shaped the skills they developed. The morphine may be doing the same for Bella," Carlisle's voice sounded. Bella could tell he was speaking from downstairs.

He always weighed in on intellectual debates among the family. It was a small detail Bella was glad she remembered about her new father. It brought to mind the discussion of Renesmee potentially being similar to Jacob in her chromosomal count a few days ago. The thought of Renesmee centered her, diverting her mind from the pain.

Then there was the notion that she may be gifted. How extraordinary that would be! Proof that she belonged in this life. Vindication for her persistence that she should be made one of them.

"The morphine… " Alice began, a question implicit in the mention.

"I don't think it worked. I still felt - she's suffering every bit as much as we did," Jasper said.

Bella felt a hand rest on her arm. Again, the pressure was there, but there was no noticeable cooless. How strange. She longed for the numbing relief the touch should have brought. How impossible. Honestly, everything should feel cool compared to the heat she was inflamed in. Perhaps the venom's fire was so extreme it obliterated the very memory of cold and made it impossible for anything to ever feel cool again.

"It's all gone now. But she hasn't… " Alice said, coming closer. Bella could actually hear the displaced air the movement caused along with the rustle of fabric - silk sliding against cotton only to catch slightly as the skirt swished.

"She's strong," Jasper said. Bella felt immeasurable pride at hearing him praise her for a quality no one else had ever believed she possessed before.

"She will be," Alice agreed.

"She already is," Jasper clarified. "Look at all she's faced, and never once flinched." There was a long pause after Jasper spoke. His words pierced Bella's soul. She'd never seen it herself, but she trusted Jazz, and liked that he viewed her that way. He was once again telling her she was worth it. That she was worthy. "I think it's safe to assume she is willing herself not to react to the venom. Much like you did, Carlisle."

"Remarkable. I had to - if I wanted to survive. She is doing it by choice. Perhaps she really will be yet another gifted family member, and her choices now will be the determining factor in what she can do," Carlisle said.

"If that's the case, I will be very interested in the outcome. Others likely will be too," Jazz warned.

"I haven't seen anything in particular, but that's hardly surprising given she doesn't know herself yet," Alice said.

"We'll know soon enough," Carlisle said.

"Only six more hours," Alice confirmed.

Six? It was fewer than she'd thought, but more than she felt confident facing. At least she now knew the amount was finite. It was a small mercy.

"Yes. It won't be too much longer. Hang in there, Bella. You're doing wonderful. Renesmee is right here waiting for you. Hang in there for her sake," Jasper encouraged. The hand on her arm exerted the slightest pressure. Bella felt determination well within her, surging through her clenched muscles. "Hmmm. Good, keep it up."

"Do you remember how awful this part is?" Alice asked.

"Yes. So confusing and painful," Jasper said, increasing the pressure on her arm. Footsteps approached, heavy and… energetic.

"Can you lessen it with your gift?" Emmett asked hopefully from six and a half feet away. Bella guessed he was still in the doorway. "Or do something to help her?"

"No. I've tried before, and I tried on Bella when I first came in yesterday. It doesn't work against the burn of changing."

"Do you think she can hear us?" Emmett asked.

"Probably," Jasper said meaningfully. "Her emotions are clearer now than they were an hour ago, and she reacted when I mentioned Mae."

Mae? Jazz hadn't mentioned anyone named Mae.

"You should talk to her. Distract her. Remind her what's waiting for her after," Alice suggested.

Bella heard the light retreating steps, along with Emmett's heavier, bouncing ones, and the closer steady breaths. They were easier to focus on than anything else. She started counting them, using them to measure the passing time. How many times would a person breathe in six hours? Six thousand or so? More? She was at fifty-six when he spoke, and the words were even easier to concentrate on than his breathing had been.

"You did so well. I doubt anyone could have done a better job," Jasper began, leaning close to whisper in her ear almost shyly, as though confessing a secret. "She's here. I'm holding her now - your reason to keep fighting. Mae is sleeping -"

There was that name again. Who was he talking about? Bella wanted to hear about her daughter, not Mae. Why would she care about someone she'd never met? Though the mystery was rather engrossing. A wonderful enigma.

"You're… curious. I almost missed it masked in with the pain, but I've gotten so much better at reading you." Yes, yes. That was all well and good, but who was Mae? "Ah, and now you're impatient that I explain. Renesmee. I hope you don't mind. I've taken to calling her Mae. I'd forgotten, but your daughter's name reminded me. I had a little sister - before I was turned. She was only eight when I left for war. Her name was Margaret, but we all called her Mae. It's a good southern name for the perfect mix between a lady and a little spitfire. I'm certain that's what she'll be."

Mae. It was… pretty. Mae - May. Like spring flowers or roses - like Rose. The name was short and sweet. Adorable. Fitting.

Bella loved that her daughter's full name represented both halves of her child - vampire and human, mother and father. Now she also had a nickname that represented Jasper's past and reminded her of Rosalie. Jasper and Rose, her daughter's staunchest defenders. Renesmee's heritage was well represented.

"Besides, it means pearl, and she already has perfect little pearly white teeth," Jazz added.

Mae had teeth? Why?

Jasper chuckled, squeezing her arm again. He must have picked up on her confusion.

"She's part vampire, Bella. She needs teeth to feed," he explained. "Though we've been giving her bottles, those are a relatively new invention and evolution probably didn't account for them when providing her with the means to eat as a newborn."

It seemed logical enough, though Bella wondered how odd it must seem to a doctor like Carlisle for an infant to have a full set of teeth. Was there anything else unusual about her? How was she doing? If only Bella could open her eyes and see for herself!

Hearing more about her daughter would be nearly as satisfying. She willed Jasper to feel her desire, and was pleasantly surprised when it seemed to work, almost as though they were still able to converse despite her need to keep her teeth clenched to lock in her screams.

"Mae is doing wonderfully. Eating, sleeping - completely healthy. She's gifted too. You'll have to wait to find out how for yourself. Carlisle doesn't think it will work on you, but we'll see," Jasper said.

Gifted? Really? Of course her daughter was special, but learning that she was also gifted was exciting. What was it though? Why wouldn't he just tell her?

"Patience, Bella. It's better to experience than hear about. I think Mae will enjoy being the one to share it with you," Jasper explained.

When he put it that way, how could she be angry?

"Carlisle also says you're going to be fine too, no lasting damage from the birth or your broken spine. Alice confirmed it," Jasper said.

Bella could care less about herself just then. It was only the news of her daughter keeping her in the present. But when Jasper switched topics, the anguish of the burn overtook her. She was awash in a furnace of magma where no words could penetrate the molten rock she was drowning in.

"Hanging in there? You're emotions have settled a bit," Jazz whispered, tentatively touching her face with just the tips of his fingers, the pad of his thumb moving softly over the arch of her cheekbone.

He was still sitting with her? How much time had passed?

This wasn't the first time she'd been aware enough to listen to him since he first started talking to her, but this was definitely the most lucid one yet. Each time she'd fought back the melting, charring sensation Jasper had been waiting. The moment he picked up on her emotions he'd begun talking to her, telling stories, updating her on Renesmee, or reading to her from one of her favorite classics. Anything to help her through this horrendous process.

"Mae is downstairs. Do you hear her?"

Faint slurping and sucking sounds drifted up accompanied by the hummingbird quick thrumming of her heart. So fast. Too fast? She'd have to ask once her jaw unstuck - if it even would after being clamped shut for so long.

"Rosalie is feeding her. Jacob wanted to, but she won this round," Jasper said, amusement clear in his drawl.

Why would Jacob want to feed her daughter? He'd been less than thrilled about her existence from the beginning.

"Yes… that situation -"

"Don't tell her - you promised!" The yell had come from downstairs, and had Jasper laughing full out. The deep rumble was captivating and brilliant, filling the room. But had that been Jake hollering? What did he not want Jasper to tell her about?

"I can't wait for him to explain all about that - I promised I wouldn't spoil the surprise, so you'll just have to wait to hear about it. Anyways, I thought it best they not feed her in here," Jasper said, and Bella could hear the smile still lingering in his voice.

Honestly, she'd rather have her daughter close. Annoyance swamped her, quick as an asp its fangs pierced her, sending frustrated venom coursing through her.

"Hmm. You're farther along in your transition than normal. I don't want the blood to agitate you more than necessary so she needs to be fed downstairs. Alice doesn't think it should be too much longer - a couple hours, less than one now actually."

A large hand encompassed her own, swallowing and dwarfing it. A rough callous scraped her palm as the fingers curled around hers. Wasn't becoming a vampire supposed to eliminate all imperfections from the body? How did Jasper still have a callous? Not that it really felt wrong, just strange. Her memories all revealed vampires with skin of perfectly polished marble. The idea of it not being true was fascinating, like being let in on a secret she'd longed to know.

"Would you like to know what else has happened while you've been preoccupied? I think you'll remember if I tell you now."

Yes! Being here yet isolated and unable to engage was tormenting in its own unique way entirely separate from the agonies of the change.

"I'm not sure how much you remember from Mae's birth… "

Disaster. It had been a disaster. Definitely not Carlisle's well thought out and safely devised plan.

"Yes. Things went awry. But I wanted to tell you, one thing went according to plan. It wasn't just Carlisle that turned you," Jasper said, speaking softer, his fingers moving idly over the back of Bella's hand. What was he talking about? "We all did," he finished.

How was that possible? Bella could only remember Carlisle biting her. Had the others come in as well when she'd been incoherent and on the brink of death? How had they managed it?

"Alice had the idea for each of us to put our venom into a syringe to inject you with. Carlisle, Esme, Em, Rose, Alice and I all did it. That way we'd all have a hand in your turning, and you'd be connected to each of us just the way you wanted," Jasper explained.

Love bubbled up, overflowing like a raging river bursting through a dam. Joy and wonder filled her, so prominent that it momentarily blocked the pain of transitioning. Bella could hardly believe they'd done that for her. Her family wanted to keep her forever, and had made sure she knew it on a fundamental level. On a cellular level even. It was exactly what she needed to know she belonged here, that her experiences were all worth it to get to this point. She could easily ride out this last hour in the volcano on the high this knowledge gave her.

"We want you in the family. All of us do. Never doubt it, Bella."

Bella's fingers twitched at hearing that. They moved spastically against Jasper's. It took four seconds for her to recognize and process the latest change that had occurred in her body. Her fingers were just fingers again. The burn had faded at long last from the digits.

It was somewhat shocking to discover that her hand still functioned. That it wasn't the blisters, bones, and scars that it had felt like after being set ablaze for so long. That there was something more substantial than brittle charcoal attached to her flaming wrist.

There was a new, untapped strength in her fingers too. Her muscles were eager to demonstrate their newfound abilities.

"Bella? You all right, darlin'?" Jazz asked, tightening his grip as though trying to ground her or lend her support. "It's almost over," he promised.

The warning made it abundantly clear he was correct. Because with it came the dry, sandpaper scratching sensation in her throat that had her compulsively swallowing. It was a useless action. The fires had burned her salivary glands to ash. There was nothing left to produce the refreshing, lubricating fluids her parched throat cried out for. So this was what Jasper had meant when he'd described the lure of blood for vampires. It lacked the intensity the rest of her body was experiencing, but it was by no means comfortable either. A shallow, sensory memory.

"Also," Jasper continued, trying once more to distract her, "Jacob convinced Sam that you and Renesmee aren't threats, and that he approved your transition without it violating the treaty. No one is going to attack Mae. So there's nothing to worry about there."

Relief at her daughter's safety was overshadowed by the newest tortures her body was enduring. Her heart! Bella's teeth clenched tighter, grinding loudly as the fire burned hotter in her heart. All of the flames receding from her limbs were draining into her heart. It was a swirling vortex collecting the hellfire inward to clash with the battery fueling her life. Except the single organ couldn't hope to withstand the latest assault.

"Speaking of updates… " Esme began from downstairs where Bella assumed the rest of the family waited. "Should someone call Edward or make him come home now?"

The name sparked one additional memory of a time when Bella had been downstairs with the family as well. One of a boyish, bronze-haired vampire shoving her into a table covered in fancy, glass plates. Breakable plates that shattered on impact, slicing her arm. Bella didn't remember anything else, just that Edward had hurt her for some reason.

If he'd hurt her like that, what would he do to Mae - the one he called a monster? Would he actually try something or was her current pain influencing her unjustly?

Confusion.

Dread.

Uncertainty.

Bella knew the memory was incomplete. There was a huge disconnect between the name Edward and her understanding of who he was. She knew from what little she could remember that Edward was rather aloof about most things, and likely didn't care enough to seek them out or agree to come here. A tiny voice in her head also pointed out that he probably hadn't intentionally hurt her that other time - the Cullens wouldn't stand for that. But regardless of that, he had.

The new chaotic emotions knifed up the frantic racing of her burning heart. There was no fire left below her knees or beyond her elbows. It was all concentrated in her heart, amplified by her alarm for her daughter, her likely irrational fear of Edward.

"Mae is safe. No one will harm her," Jasper swore, allowing Bella to breathe through the pain as it inched closer and closer to her torso. Bella believed him, knew Mae was safe with him guarding her, but it barely took the edge off of her irrational terror.

Dancing steps stopped at the entrance to the room. An exasperated sigh escaped the newcomer. The steps had been familiar enough that Bella realized Alice was there. With her gift, she'd know for sure that Renesmee was safe.

"Jasper is right. No one would dream of hurting Mae, and Edward has no intention of coming here anytime soon. It will be a long time before he can forgive himself for what happened. Relax, Bella," Alice said.

It was precisely what Bella needed to hear. Edward was no longer part of her life. She was free to forget him, to close that chapter of her life.

Then she was once more consumed by the changes happening within her. It took all of Bella's formidable, stubborn will to continue breathing through the fire blazing brighter in her heart and keep her limbs locked in place.

"The divorce papers are ready to sign. I know it's just a formality, but it seemed like the right thing to do. To make it official, and to give us some closure," Alice said.

Was Bella married to Edward? That didn't feel like something she'd do. At least Alice was helping her rectify the situation. Great. She was a cliche! Divorced, eighteen-year-old single mother. Everything her mother had raised her not to be.

Bella's heart beat impossibly faster, straining against her lungs as it expanded and contracted at breakneck speeds. A jack-hammer couldn't even keep pace at this rate.

The fire was at her hips and shoulders now. The majority of her arms and legs were blessedly cool even as the blaze tore through her center, plummeting like a roller coaster.

"Alice!" Jasper called exasperatedly. Bella barely heard it over the sound of her own heart. It was nearly one continuous beat now.

Alice gasped as Bella felt her back bow, yanked upward as her heart tried to escape the protective cage containing it. With effort, Bella balled her fists, trying to hold herself in place.

"It's time," Alice chimed, jumping up and down once, and clapping excitedly.

"Her heart," Jasper breathed.

"Ah," Carlisle said, moving into the room. "It's almost over."

"Soon," Alice agreed. The heat was only in Bella's torso now. Soon, Alice had said. It'd have to be. Blood surging through her heart at this accelerated velocity was bound to punch right through if it didn't stop soon. "I'll get the others. Should I have Jake and Rosalie… "

"Yes. Bella has to hunt before meeting Mae," Jasper said quickly. What? No! Bella wanted her daughter! He must have felt her displeasure, because he said, "It'll be easier for you to not risk harming her if you've already fed. She's half you - half human. Her heart beats and your new instincts will likely have you viewing her as food."

Jasper's explanation made sense, but Bella didn't like it. He knew best though. She would never consider risking her daughter.

"I'll bring them right up. We'll wait in the hall until you've had a chance to assess her mood," Alice said.

A straw sucked the last of the fire into Bella's heart. The competition to determine the victor - inferno or galloping heart - was nearing its conclusion. The finish line was in sight. The two forces sprinted on. Inward. Into her heart.

"Probably for the best. Esme and Emmett were both fairly aggressive when they first woke. It's all so new," Carlisle agreed.

"Yes," Jasper said. "Even if she does have control. I don't think we should overwhelm her or take unnecessary chances. I can handle her."

The two retreated, darting from the room, and leaving Jasper behind just as Bella's heart stuttered out its final beat. The hollow thud echoed in the new silence.

It was too silent. No more talking. No more heartbeat. No more breathing.

Except it wasn't silent. Not really.

A squirrel was climbing a tree thirty-three feet from the house. It's tiny, clawed toes scraping the bark as it scurried upwards. Lights buzzed, a dim humming that filled the air, each one distinct and coming from a different room in the house. The river gurgled, dripping and laughing as it flowed over rocks only to cascade down, splashing and popping bubbles then turning a bit before winding onward. Wasn't that over a mile away?

There was no more pain either. How was it possible for the pain to just vanish? How was that not the first thing she noticed? It was entirely absent, not even a trace remained. Startling. Mysterious. Wonderful!

Strength and vitality surged through Bella. Boundless energy crackled and sizzled within her, seeking an outlet. Each muscle and sinew glowed. She felt invincible.

Finally. Finally she was strong. Strong like her family. Immortal like her family. She could keep up with them now.

Bella could feel and appreciate everything. It was all so exciting.

Then she opened her eyes and the dazzling newness and fullness amazed her. Never before had she truly seen. Her broken eyes had been repaired. She'd never even realized how ineffectual they'd been until they worked properly.

There was so much to take in. Bella didn't know what to focus on first, yet her mind was capable of processing it all at once. Even as her eyes tracked the floating grey dust motes, their shapes spinning and twisting like lopsided snowflakes, her ears continued listened to the wind parting as it hit the house and split to blow around the sides of the solid structure.

The dust shifted in front of a light and Bella became entranced by the colors. Little rainbows formed the white light, pulsing and issuing from the filaments inside the light bulbs. The colors were nearly tangible. And what was the eighth color? She had no name for it, but it was there. Never before had she seen it.

Another realization occurred to her. She wasn't breathing. How peculiar that she didn't need to anymore. Would doing so be like her other senses - magnified?

The answer was a single word - yes.

Inhaling was a singular experience in itself. Each molecule of air danced and spun around the others, racing to see which could soar down her throat the fastest. Bella could feel them traveling towards her lungs and forcing the organ to expand. Yet there was no relief associated with the action. She hadn't been experiencing symptoms of oxygen deprivation, so breathing did not alleviate lightheadedness or soothe any aches.

Experimentally, she inhaled again. It was the same. Habit, not necessity.

Despite that, she found herself wanting to continue doing it. The air tasted… like sweetened pecans? Or flowers? Acrid and chemical? Bella couldn't decide. It was such a strange, elusive mixture. Dozens of components mingled in the air around her.

Curiosity had her sniffing, attempting to interpret the evasive odors flavoring the air. Magnolias. That was the sweet flower she'd breathed. Bella could almost remember visiting a botanical garden in Phoenix that had magnolia trees. They weren't common to Arizona, not like they were in the south, but there had been a couple trees dotted with the enormous, vibrant white blooms each year. The exotic scent was beautiful. She inhaled deeper, filling her lungs with the heavenly fragrance.

There were other, fainter, notes in the air too. Copper and the harsh bite of chemicals were rather prominent. Underlying that, as though they were floating in from further away, was the scent of pine, vanilla, pears, cinnamon, leather, apple, mud, chocolate, incense, bread, hyacinth, musk, sweat, moss, sandalwood, seawater, wet dog, lavender. There were so many layers that she couldn't hope to separate them all. Not to mention a dozen other smells she didn't yet have a name for.

Bella found herself returning to the first scents she'd encountered. Magnolia and candied pecans. It was tempting. Intriguing. Entrancing. She greedily gulped it down, drawing in more of it deliberately. The aroma blanketed her, buffering her in the welcome warmth of home.

A tiny curling fuzz drifted passed her eyes, snagging her attention. Effortlessly sitting up, Bella followed its progress through the air, captivated with the way it flowed on the unseen air currents. Her eyes had improved to the point that she could distinguish the reddish-orange tint to the miniscule cotton fiber.

It took several minutes before Bella realized she was not alone. A lone figure stood just beside the table she was sitting on. A waving lock of gilded hair draped across his forehead and tangled in his long, sooty eyelashes. Gilded. His hair was a riot of whites and yellows, golds and silvers. It was the color of straw - no, corn… or maybe honey. Only more metallic. It was beautiful. Bella could imagine the way the sun would spark off it.

He stood frozen, watching her intently. Somehow she knew that the rest of the world had ceased to exist for him. It was only her. His eyes were a warm rolling carmel color with flecks of milk chocolate. Waves and starbursts patterned the intricate design. Acceptance and amusement shone from their depths. There was interest too. Not to mention a fair amount of anticipation.

It was him. Her protector. Bella gasped as she took him in. His strong stance, and toned body were visible even through his clothes. The seams at his shoulders pulled slightly. Bella saw a thread tugging at the top of his left shoulder.

He was home. Safety. Happiness. The emotions beckoned to her, tugging her to him. She was a magnet caught in his pull. The desire to be closer had her standing in front of him without consciously deciding to move.

She blinked, bewildered by her own ability to move. Her limbs flowed immediately and without direct effort. Never had she been able to get about without stumbling and purposefully planting her feet where they needed to go. She remembered being clumsy. It was one of the many banes of her existence. Apparently it wasn't to be part of her new life.

The realization played out in a corner of her mind, but mostly she continued staring at the man gravity had drawn her to. At the same time it took in other scents, sounds, and things in the distance.

Someone downstairs had just sat down - more like plopped. The person was heavy and graceless the way all teenage boys were. Jacob. It must have been Jacob. Bella could picture him thumping onto the sofa, sprawling limbs thrown wide to haplessly land wherever they willed.

A bird tweeted outside. It dropped to a lower branch and hopped twice before chirping another shrill cry.

Amazement at all the detail bombarding her wasn't enough to deter Bella from the imposing blond standing eight inches in front of her.

He wasn't smiling, but he was still gorgeous. Bella knew instinctively he'd be devastating to her senses if he ever did.

Jasper. The name popped into her mind abruptly. Yes. That was who this was. He could sense emotions, and had very likely just picked up on the way she'd been admiring him. He'd been the one sitting with her these last two days even though it must have pained him He'd felt the echoes of her transition and chosen to stay with her regardless.

"Bella?" he breathed, uncertainty wafting from him like the aroma of fresh baked cookies straight out of the oven.

She felt guilty at once. He sounded so confused when he said her name.

"Do you know who I am?" he asked hesitantly, then added, "Do you remember me, darlin'?"

"Jazz," Bella replied, nodding only to stop as she listened to the bells that rang through the air. Wait, not bells… her voice. Her voice was beautiful! She couldn't wait to hear it again.

Bella wanted to test her altered voice, ensure she'd heard it correctly, but Jasper was speaking. His words stroked her senses like chinchilla fur. They were a tractor beam, trapping and demanding her entire focus.

"How are you doing? Would you like to see the rest of the family or do you need to hunt first?"

The thought of blood made Bella's throat itch uncomfortably, but it wasn't the mindless insanity she remembered the newborn from the clearing demonstrating after the battle with Victoria. She could still think rationally and ignore the rough dryness if she chose. That was… unexpected. Should it be so easy to push aside? She'd have to ask later.

"Family. I want to see our family," Bella said eagerly, cocking her head as she listened to the echoing chimes ringing from her.

Our family… she was truly one of them now. Happiness was a glowing light resonating from her soul.

"Seth, I think you should wait downstairs with Jacob. Bella might -" Carlisle began warningly.

"I'm only about ten feet away. If she thought I was dinner, wouldn't she have already raced out here?" Seth countered.

Bella looked to the door where she could hear her family gathered out in the hall. She tensed, worried that Carlisle was right. Would she attack Seth?

"Possibly," Carlisle conceded, then added, "but this time can be very disorienting. She may not have noticed you yet. Or the fact that you're a werewolf might make her defensive."

"I'm Seth. Not just any werewolf. She knows me," Seth said sounding a little hurt. "I want to see her - I've been worried about her after… "

The two continued debating in the hall, but Bella ignored them in favor of taking stock of herself. She did not want to hurt Seth. He was her friend. She still remembered him helping save her life, remembered him being the one that presented Renesmee to her in those final chaotic moments before she'd lost herself to the change. The memory of her daughter was tied to him. She'd never forget that.

Jasper was keenly studying her, ready to restrain her if she lunged for the door and the source of the wet sloshing sound she now detected. The knowledge that Jasper would stop her if necessary gave her the courage to taste the air again and specifically identify the Quileute standing just outside the open doorway.

Her nose wrinkled immediately, and she shuddered a bit in distaste. It smelled like muddy incense. Dirty, wet sandalwood all smoky and musky. The stench was enough to drown out the sound of the wolf's heavy, slowly beating heart. Jasper chuckled at her reaction and relaxed.

"He's safe from her trying to feed on him," Jasper called, though he remained only inches away, eyes continuing to survey her reactions as everyone entered.

Bella felt no inclination to attack. These were people she loved. Her mind tamped down on her new instinct to view everything as a potential threat.

They were almost all there. Carlisle and Esme, Alice and Emmett, even Seth. Only Charlie and Renee were missing, and they'd never be a part of her life again. That was all right though. She'd already put enough distance between herself and her mom for this to not hurt her too badly. And Charlie had only been in her life on a regular basis for less than two years. He'd be able to adjust and get back to how things were without too much trouble - she hoped.

The only ones not in the room were Jacob and Rosalie who'd remained downstairs with Renesmee, but they were still here. Bella wanted to see her daughter, but she remembered Jazz's assurances that Mae was perfect, and that she needed to hunt before greeting her. She regretted asking for her family first. She was impatient to have this reunion over with so she could get through the hunting part faster. Renesmee was waiting for her. How different would she look now that Bella had full access to her eyes, no more obscured, half-seen human vision.

The entering family members moved to stand on either side of Jasper, but Bella was suddenly absorbed in the knowledge that no cold emanated from Jasper. They really were the same temperature now. His head turned and her eyes zeroed in on his scars again.

"Hey, Bells!" Seth exclaimed immediately, already at ease with the situation.

Bella couldn't make her throat work to reply. Her mind was stuck on counting the interlocking ridges on Jasper's jaw. There were so many sets of the raised teeth marks. How many vampires had tried to kill him? How could anyone survive what he obviously had.

"Are you feeling overwhelmed?" he asked, eyes scanning her face carefully for signs she felt threatened or was about to lose it and attack someone. There was an air of uncertainty about him now. One that was growing by the second. Was something wrong? Had he sensed something she'd missed?

Bella nodded absently and glanced around, searching for what had him so uneasy. There was nothing obvious, but maybe she'd -

Oh. She was still the threat. She was a dangerous newborn. Stronger than everyone else. Out-of-control - though she didn't necessarily feel all that crazed. Particularly not with everyone in the world she loved most currently under the same roof as her during this momentous occasion.

That was when she noted Alice's ear-splitting grin from her place a half step behind Seth, and Esme's proud smile. Emmett was rocking a bit, rapidly shifting his weight from foot to foot, almost as if he was readying to pounce. Bella didn't particularly feel like being his prey, but he just grinned when she shot him a discouraging frown. Carlisle, on the other hand, was studying her as intently as Jazz had been, brow furrowed. When he caught her eye, he glanced away quickly to Jasper.

"How do you feel, Bella?" Carlisle asked.

"There's so much to see, and hear, and I can taste so many things in the air!" Bella exclaimed, admitting to her internal struggle as succinctly as possible while failing to hide her excitement. Seth laughed easily, delighted by her exuberance.

Her senses were pulling her in opposing directions, each demanding she acknowledge the information they were collecting. Was that what had them worried? Was she not behaving properly? She never had before, so she wasn't sure why they'd suddenly expect her to start following the norm now.

On top of that she couldn't keep her mind focused on a single topic long enough to do it any sort of justice. The clarity and completeness of her new reality would take decades to be appreciated properly, not these random intervals of milliseconds that were all the more she was currently able to devote before something else nabbed her attention.

Alice's sudden laughter prompted Jazz to offer her some advice. "Try focusing on just one thing at a time. Center your mind."

Instantly he'd captured her interest again. The others ceased to exist.

The first time she'd seen him her focus had been riveted on the perfection of his face. Now she focused on the imperfections marring his throat. Jagged, irregular half crescents patterned his neck, sometimes overlapping before disappearing beneath the collar of his pale blue button-down shirt. Bella swallowed compulsively as her eyes trailed a blazing path down his length. How far down did they extend? Was his unseen skin just as textured? And had he always been so muscular?

Most high school boys, particularly in Forks, lacked any sort of sculpting and strength. Jasper had always worn loose fitting clothes to mask his soldier build. Bella's new depth and degree of sight made it impossible to miss however.

"Well, isn't this interesting," Emmett said suggestively.

"My thoughts exactly," Seth added.

"Jasper, you're projecting," Alice whispered.

"Sorry. I -" he replied uneasily, breaking off before finishing and shooting Bella a guilty look.

Bella sensed the emotions then. His gift was different than when she'd been human. Before she'd had no choice but to feel as he wanted her to feel. Now, it was more like a sink left on until it overflowed to flood the room, but she was wrapped in waterproof clothing. The emotions touched her without penetrating. Yet somehow she knew that she could accept them, let them soak in if she wanted.

Mortification. It replaced all other emotions as she realized Jasper was just reflecting her own feelings back at her, and the others had picked up on it. Specifically, her increasing desire and fascination. At least Jazz was kind enough not to announce her feeling so explicitly.

But how was she supposed to manage the whirlwind of rapidly changing emotions?

"Jasper is going to take you hunting, Bella. I'm sure he can answer any questions you have," Alice suggested pointedly.

Bella's love for her fortune-telling sister grew exponentially. There couldn't possibly be anything else Alice could do to make Bella love her more than to help her through this transitional period.