Chapter 10 - Big Foot

Carlisle:

Finally, the situation with Seth has been settled and things are back to normal in the Cullen Household. Well, as normal as they can be with 8 vampires, 3 wolves and one human guest. Billy is still with us and we are going to the Lodge tonight to work again as it is Friday. I am getting ready for my shift at the hospital and I already hear Jake and Rosalie going at it. Guess I better get down there and see what the problem is.

"Listen you straw head blond, I'm sick of you tampering with my breakfast. When I asked for scrambled, I didn't want them scrambled after they were made, clueless," Jake shouted at Rosalie and was about to throw the eggs at her.

"Jacob! Don't you dare throw that at her," I said to him.

"What is going on between you two now? I just left the kitchen for 2 minutes and you two are at it again," Esme scolded walking in with her hands on her hips.

"He didn't like the eggs I made him," Rosalie said glaring at Jake.

"Look what she did! I asked for scrambled and she fried them and they put them in the blender and served them in a bowl," Jake said glaring back at her.

"Rosalie, that was not nice. Now you make him scrambled eggs the right way and no arguing," I said to Rose.

"What's all the ruckus?" Billy asked as Emmett brought him down and Edward had his chair. "Jake aggravating you again Rose Bud?"

"No! No…I'm not the problem, she is," Jake said sarcastically to his father.

"This time he's right, Billy," I said to him.

"Rose Bud, what's wrong?" Billy asked her.

"Nothing Uncle Billy. Just clowning around with my wolf brother," Rosalie answered sweetly to Billy. "I'll make you a new set of eggs, Jake."

"That's my Rose Bud, always lovely and beautiful," Billy complimented her.

"Oh please, I'm going to throw up," Jake acted as if gagging.

"Why can't you two act your age? You act like two-year olds! In fact, two-year olds act better than you two do. I should get a big playpen and put you both in it. Maybe then you wouldn't act like a couple of babies. Now straighten up and there better be no more fighting today. If I hear you two were at it again, you're both in for it when I get home," I scolded and walked out to my car.

In the Kitchen:

Jake:

"Whew, guess we set his day off," I said.

"You two better knock it off if you know what's good for you," Edward advised them.

"What happened?" Bella asked coming down.

"The usual, Jake and Rose fighting again and Dad had it," Edward explained.

"Oh, so what else is new?" Bella asked smirking.

"Shut up Bella Wella," I said to her.

"Jacob, watch your mouth," Billy chastised him.

"I should dress like a baby when Dad gets home since he said we acted like babies. That might make his day," I laughed.

"Yeah, we could take a big white cloth and make into a diaper and pin it on you," Rosalie said laughing.

"Get a big bottle and rattle too," Edward said.

"And a big baby bonnet," Bella laughed.

"We could make those while you're at school, Jake," Rosalie suggested.

"Okay, let's do it," I said anxious to at least make Dad laugh a little.

"Carlisle could use a little levity with all the tension with Seth," Billy said. Esme agreed.

"I'm sorry," Seth said coming into the kitchen.

"Seth, we weren't talking about you, just trying to make your father laugh for a change," Mom said to Seth.

"Hurry up and eat Seth, we're going to be late," I said to him. He scarfed down his breakfast and we left. "I'll fill you in on the way to school."

After School:

"You're problems are solved! The Wolf Boys are home from school," I shouted as Seth and I entered the house.

"Oh good, you're home," Rosalie greeted them.

"This can't be good," I said wondering what that meant.

"Yeah, hurry up wolf bro, we want to see how you look," Emmett called from the living room.

"What do you mean how I look?" I asked.

"In your baby costume," Emmett came back.

"Oh yeah, did you get ready?" I asked.

"Did she get it ready! Wait till you see it, Wolf bro," Jasper added.

"Hey, wait for me, I have to see this," Billy called wheeling himself to the landing.

"Emmy, get Uncle Billy down," Rosalie said to Emmett.

"Personal Valet Service, coming up," Emmett shouted flashing up to Billy.

"You know, I'm going to miss this," Billy said.

"Hush Uncle Billy, I don't want to think of that," Rosalie said getting upset.

"Has to come sooner or later, Rose Bud," Billy said to her.

"We made a bonnet for you and we got a big blue pin for the diaper," Alice said giggling.

"Oh good, this should make him laugh. I'll go try it on," I said grabbing it and running upstairs.

"You children, I don't know what we would do without all of you," Mom said smiling.

Esme:

Oh my goodness, Jake came down the stairs dressed like a large baby. It was hilarious. He had a big blue bonnet on his head tied under his chin with a big blue bow. A white cloth acting as a diaper with a big blue safety pin holding it together. He had white socks and white tennis shoes with a bell on each one. He was holding a bottle in one hand and a rattle in the other. He was a sight to behold. The whole lot of us doubled over laughing. Of course Jake had to act the part also and got down on the floor and sat like a baby would and shook the rattle.

"Dada! Dada! Momma! Momma!" Jake shouted while shaking the rattle.

"I gotta get a picture of this," Jasper laughed and took a quick shot with his camera. Of course Jake mugged for it.

"You look ridiculous," Billy said to him. That made everyone laugh even more. Jake then started to cry like a baby.

"Oh now, now, Baby Jake. Come to Mommy," I called to him.

The crazy kid stopped crying and crawled over to me dragging the bottle and leaving the rattle. "Mom, mom, mom, mom, momma," Jake acted out stopping at my feet.

"Come here my Jakey boy," I said lifting him up like a baby. "Did your dada make you cry?" I asked him.

Jake shook his head 'yes' and latched onto me.

"Spoiled brat! You need a spanking," Rosalie said to him. Jake stuck his tongue out at Rose.

"Naughty Jakey," I said whacking his bottom. He couldn't feel anything with that diaper.

"Ha, I padded this sucker," Jake said to us as we all laughed.

"Hey, Dad is pulling in the garage," Edward said.

"Quick Jake, go hide until Dad takes his shower and we're ready to go to the Lodge," Bella said.

Jake hi-tailed it up to his room and shut his door as if he was doing his homework. Everyone else scattered as to not draw attention that something was up. Everyone was giggling and trying to hide it. Billy stayed downstairs and was watching Emmett and Jasper play video games. I was in the kitchen as usual. Carlisle closed his car door and walked into the kitchen. He had a sober look on his face.

"Hello my Love, how was your day?" I asked going up and kissing him tenderly. His look softened at once.

"Fine my dearest, how were things here?" My husband asked.

"Just fine dear, Jake and Seth just got home from school a few minutes ago and all is quiet," I announced.

"It better be, I'm tired of him and Rosalie going at it all the time. Just like I said, acting like babies," Carlisle said agitated when remembering this morning.

"Now darling, go take your shower and get ready to go to the Lodge. I'm taking supper over again so get your shower dear," I urged him.

"I will my love," Carlisle said as he stopped by the living room. "Hello Billy, boys," he called to them.

"Hello my brother, welcome home," Billy said happily.

"Hey Pops!" Emmett shouted not taking his eyes off the video game.

"Hi Papa," Jasper added then shrieking with joy as he creamed Emmett in the game.

"Yeah, you were just lucky," Emmett teased.

"Sore loser!" Jasper said as they laughed.

"I'm heading up for my shower," Carlisle announced and flashed up the stairs.

We heard our bedroom door close and we all gathered in the living room. Jake quickly ran down the stairs and sat in the middle of the floor in all his baby glory. He looked like an overgrown baby. He was sitting on the floor with his legs splayed out in front of him with the bonnet on and the diaper with the big blue pin. He had the rattle down in front of him and was putting the bottle up to his lips. It was a sight to behold.

After a bit, we heard our bedroom door open and heard Carlisle making his way to the stairs. We were all standing around Jake so you couldn't see him until we parted. Even Billy was over by us. We were all standing with our backs to Carlisle as he came down the steps.

"What are you all looking at?" Carlisle asked.

"Oh darling, you have to see this, he's so sweet," I said peaking his curiosity.

"Who's so sweet?" He asked.

"Come see for yourself, my Love," I said waving him over.

The others were all holding back grins and laughter and so was Jake. Carlisle came up toward us and Emmett and Edward parted as Carlisle came up and got his first look at our new baby.

"Goo goo, da da da da, goo, goo," Jake cooed looking up at Carlisle.

Carlisle was stunned. He actually did a double take. "What in the world…" He said before bellowing out with laughter. "Ha ha ha ha ha! Jacob, you crazy kid," Carlisle laughed.

"Me baby, me baby! Da da da da da," Jake called crawling on all fours over to Carlisle and stopping at his feet and reaching his arms up to him to pick him up just like a baby would. Carlisle shook his head still laughing and didn't miss a beat as he bent down and scooped Jake up like a baby.

"I'm taking this is because I said you children were acting like babies," Carlisle said now holding Jake and Jake was holding his bottle to Carlisle. "No no, Jakey, you take your bottle, daddy doesn't want it," Carlisle teased along.

"Da da smart! Da da smart," Jake said pointing at me and shaking his head 'yes'.

"Baby Jake is a spoiled brat," Rosalie taunted him.

"Hmmmpf!" Jake said and threw his bottle at Rose hitting her on the arm.

"Bad Jakey! Does Daddy have to put Jakey over his knee?" Carlisle asked glaring at Jake now.

"No no no no no! Rosie over daddy's knee, Rosie bad!" Jake called out. Everyone was laughing.

"Know what Daddy's going to do, Jakey?" Carlisle asked Jake.

"What Daddy? What?" Jake asked waving his arms with excitement.

"Daddy's gonna run with Jakey to the Lodge to show off how big Jakey is getting to the Pack," Carlisle said now walking with Jake to the door.

"No! Hey wait a minute Dad! No…put me down…Dad…put me…MOM! Make Dad put me do…" Jake shouted as Carlisle now flashed out the door and made his way carrying Jake all the way to the Lodge. Everyone in the house was roaring with laughter.

"Come on, let's get to the Lodge," Billy called making everyone realize what they were going to miss if they didn't get moving.

"Oh, I have to finish supper to take to the Lodge. Leah, will you help me?" I asked her.

"Sure Mom, the rest of you go ahead," Leah said. Everyone left for the Lodge, running the whole way, with Emmett and Edward carrying Billy and his chair. It was faster than driving. Leah and I would drive though.

At the Lodge:

"Hey, what's that? Who's yelling?" Jared asked Paul hearing someone bellowing coming closer to them.

"Don't know," Paul said. Looking toward the loud noise, they saw something running very fast toward them. "This has to be Cullen-related," Paul said laughing.

The loud sound drew the rest of the Pack and Sam and Emily out of the Lodge to see what was going on also. Suddenly, Carlisle appeared carrying something or someone.

"What the…?" Sam asked and began laughing

Carlisle:

"Everyone, have you met my baby, Jakey?" I said holding Jake in his baby getup. He had the bottle in one hand and the rattle in the other. Immediately laughter began pealing out.

"Goo goo goo, da da da da," Jake mugged.

"Now Jakey, wave hello to the Pack and be a good boy," I said setting him down. He plopped down on the ground and immediately began crying reaching for me to pick him back up. "Oh okay, Daddy will pick you back up," I said teasing with him. The others were falling on the ground laughing.

"What in the world are you doing, Jacob?" Emily asked.

"I told my children to stop acting like babies and this is what I came home to from the hospital. I thought it only right to share this experience with our extended family," I said still holding Jake. Jake gave me a scrunched up face.

"Yeah, don't let him kid you, he loves it," Jake said playing with my hair.

"Stop that," I said pushing my hair back down.

"He looks like a baby store threw up on him," Embry said.

"I'm taking a picture of this," Quil said getting his phone out.

"NO, hey Dad, don't let them do that," Jake protested.

"Why? You're the one who concocted this. You should be proud to show it off," I said holding him tighter so he wouldn't get away. "Smile nice for the camera now," I said to him.

"Ugh, this always comes back to haunt me," Jake said with disgust.

"Hey, here come the rest of the Cullens," Sam said as my brood all appeared, carrying Billy. All except for Esme and Leah.

"What do you think of our new baby?" Billy asked laughing.

"Hey, hey, you're no help you know," Jake said to his dad.

"Hey, I'm not the one dressed like a 6 foot baby in a bonnet! Blue at that!" Billy added. This drew more laughter.

"Put me down, Dad," Jake said to me.

"Oh no, you'll get dirty and I'll have to change your diaper," I said to him. Now they really laughed.

"Yuk, I'd hate to do that," Jared said.

"Dad's a doctor, he's used to shit," Jake said.

"Hey! You watch that language or I'll spank your bottom for you," I scolded Jake.

"Wah, wah, Daddy yelled at me," Jake hammed.

"You should have brought a blanket to cover his face with and keep him warm, just like an infant," Rosalie teased.

"Hey, we run hot naturally," Jake said meaning their higher temperature as wolves.

"Yeah, but you fizzled," Jasper said laughing as everyone else joined in.

"Want me to hold him for a while Carlisle?" Billy asked wheeling up in his chair.

"NO! I want down. Da-ad, put me down," Jake said now struggling against my hold. He pushed and wiggled until he had himself turned upside down in my arms with his head at my feet and his bottom dangerously close to my hand.

"Stop it, you're going to fall," I said to him. "Bad boy," I said swatting his bottom. Everyone laughed.

"How humiliating," Jake said as he just dangled there and had to take it. "Come on Dad, let me down," Jake said wiggling some more. This time, he tumbled out of my arms onto the ground next to Billy.

"Hey, who's pulling up," Edward asked.

"Looks like Mom and Leah, but who's in the other car?" Bella asked.

"I don't know, don't recognize the car," Edward said.

"Hey, my foot's stuck," Jake said to me.

"How did you get your foot stuck?" I asked him.

"I don't know, I tumbled down and now it's caught in dad's wheelchair," Jake said trying to pull it out.

"What's wrong?" Billy asked moving the wheelchair around.

"Hey, stop! That's my foot in there," Jake shouted at Billy.

"What's your foot doing in there?" Billy asked.

"It's stuck and you about ripped it off turning around," Jake said still trying to get his foot out. "Dad, help me," Jake said to me.

"How in the world did you get your foot stuck in the wheel?" I asked him.

"It happened when you let me drop out of your arms," Jake said to me.

"Well, you shouldn't have struggled and I could have held onto you," I said to him.

"Hey, don't mess my wheel up," Billy said to Jake.

"Oh excuse me if my foot is hurting your wheel! You think I want it in your wheel?" Jake asked Billy.

"Get it out of there," Billy said turning again in the chair.

"Billy, don't turn…whoa…hey Billy, now you knocked me down," I said to Billy. As he turned to see what we were doing, he bumped into me and I lost my balance. Of course it was a big bump, too.

"Oww Da-ad, get off me," Jake yelled to me.

"I can't help it your dad mowed me over with his chair," I said to Jake. Now I was on the ground trying to get Jake's foot out.

"Come on, get my foot out Dr. Cullen! Some trauma surgeon you are," Jake teased at me.

"Carlisle, get his foot out, I can't move," Billy said to me.

"Wait Billy, stop moving so I can see if I can maneuver his foot out," I said to Billy. Did I mention everyone was practically falling on the ground laughing their heads off at the three of us?

"Oww, stop moving the chair," Jake shouted again. "My Foot is in there!"

"I can't get it out, we may have to cut it," I said.

"What the wheel," Jake asked.

"No, you're foot! Right here at the ankle should do it. Emmett bring me a saw from inside, but wipe it off first," I called to Emmett.

"WHAT? What's the matter with you? Cut my foot off, what kind of ER doctor are you?" Jake shouted with wild eyes.

"ER—Ever Ready!" Billy said laughing.

"Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha! Some comedians you two are," Jake ranted.

"Here ya go, Pops," Emmett said handing me a hand saw.

"Get the hell out of here, Emmett," Jake shouted at him.

"Jacob, watch your language," I cautioned him.

"Oh, okay, I'll watch my language while you cut my foot off. Funny Dad," Jake said.

"I thought it was," Billy said.

"Yeah, well you're no help, chair spinner," Jake said to Billy.

"Here, I almost had it then you moved," I said to Jake. "What size shoe do you take anyway, Big Foot? It looks like a snowshoe," I said.

"Here, let me take it off then," Jake said pulling his shoe off.

"Oh for the love of…where were you walking? Through a septic tank? My heavens, Jacob!" I said holding my nose.

"Carlisle, get his clodhopper out of my wheel before I heave from the odor! Whew!" Billy said now holding his nose.

"Serves you both right," Jake said to us.

"There, I'm getting it, move back a little," I said to Jacob. However, Billy moved back.

"HEY! OUCH! You about took my foot off again!" Jake yelled.

"I thought he was talking to me," Billy said.

"Like father, like son," I said disgusted now. "Hold still, I think I have it."

"Who should hold still?" Billy asked.

"Both of you! There, I got it," I said as I stood up. "Get your shoe back on before you knock everybody out."

"Thanks for the quick service," Jake said putting his shoe on.

"What a klutz," Billy said.

"Hey, he did it," Jake said motioning to me. "My hero!" Jake said jumping into my arms still in his baby outfit with the bonnet.

"Who's that laughing over there with Mom?" Emmett asked us.

"I'm not sure," I said as Esme, Leah and the stranger approached us. The guy was sure laughing his head off.

"What guy?" Jake said twisting around and looking at the three coming towards us. "Hey, put me down," Jake said now embarrassed. I was trying to figure out who it was and still was holding Jake as they walked up and stood right in front of us.

"Uh…Carlisle…you remember the Judge from the adoption?" Esme pointed out.

"Oh! Of course, Your Honor," I said extending my hand out to him while still holding Jacob.

"Oh great! Dad, put me down," Jake said now turning red in embarrassment.

"Sorry, Jake," I said setting him down. "Uh…he was just…goofing off," I said to the Judge.

"No he wasn't! He dresses like that every day. It's a stage he's going through and Dad said to let him work through it," Emmett said while everyone almost fell over again laughing. Actually, the Judge was laughing the hardest.

"Children!" I said to them. "I'm sorry, Your Honor, Jake here was just…" I tried to say.

"I…uh…was…uh…," Jake stuttered.

"Oh you guys are so funny! When I heard it was time to pay a visit to check up on how the adoption has gone and to see if you are having any issues, I insisted I was the one to make the visit. I remember how nice your adoption was and how you all got along and how much of a fun family you were. I just had to come. I'm so happy I did. That was the funniest thing I've seen in a long time. Your son getting his foot caught in the wheelchair and it took three of you to get him out, and he's dressed like a baby. What's that all about? I gotta hear that one," the Judge asked.

"Oh…um…Dad was chewing us out telling us to stop acting like babies and I thought I'd surprise him when he got home," Jake explained.

"AH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! What a crazy kid," the Judge said.

"You got that right," Rosalie shouted.

"Nobody asked you, mop head," Jake yelled to her.

"Jacob, mind your manners," I warned him.

"Man you people are a riot," the Judge said. "Hey, can I get a picture of that outfit," the Judge asked.

"Uh…I…uh…okay," Jake said.

"Thanks," the judge said getting his phone out. "Hey, you dropped your bottle," he said to Jake.

"Oh yeah, Daddy…my bottle…wah…wah…wah…," Jake hammed…

To be Continued…

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