That day when Edward walked in to his class he completely avoided looking in Jasper's direction, even when he was giving his lecture on the days topic he only looked up from his notes when he had to look at the powerpoint slides. When he did look up Jasper could see his eyes looked a little red around the edges and they were so sad. The guilt hit him like a brick wall, he couldn't believe he had done anything to make those beautiful green eyes cry, he didn't remember ever feeling this bad over anybody. He got through the lesson and he almost called to Edward to stay at the end but he realised that this could only make things worse, there was nothing he could say that would make Edward feel better. He was only likely to upset him more, maybe this was just unavoidable. Well, Jasper thought, unavoidable only if he didn't want to risk his job. Edward's words from that morning had been eating at him, he knew that he was right. There was definitely something there between them, it was undeniable. He had never met anybody like Edward and he doubted that he would ever feel that intense connection again. Maybe it was worth risking everything for, more important than a job. But if he waited until Edward had graduated then he wouldn't have to give up either, he could have both. He shook his head, trying to rid himself of these thoughts. No, there was no point in letting himself think about the possibility, these kind of thoughts could get him sacked let alone doing anything about it. He could feel the conflict inside himself, and he knew that he wanted to give up now and go after Edward and tell him that they could be together. He pushed these thoughts from his mind as his next class was coming in to the room, he had to concentrate on the rest of his classes.
At the end of the day he was packing up all his notes and the work he had to mark that night, there was quite a pile. He was hoping that he was getting through to some of the students and they were enjoying the subject, a lot of them looked like they were concentrating when they were in his class. Though some of the girls just seemed to giggle and whisper behind their hands, he was afraid of this happening. Yet the one person he didn't mind ogling him was now completely refusing to look at him. With a sigh he heaved up his bag and made his way out to his car, he desperately wanted to ring Alice and speak to her about all of this but he didn't want to have to keep running to her and offloading. He knew that it wasn't fair to her, he shouldn't have to keep unloading all over her. He was heaving his bag and all of the books to his car, he hadn't really thought about how heavy all of this would be and he could feel the box of books beginning to slip from his hands and his bag coming off his shoulder. He couldn't let the bag fall, his laptop was in the bag and he couldn't let that break, it had all of his lesson plans and notes on it. Then there was another pair of hands over his helping him to lift his heavy burden. He looked up and was met by Edward in front of him. It seemed that whatever happened he just kept appearing out of nowhere, he was happy and sad all at once about this. He could feel the sparks shooting through where there hands met and he wanted to throw the box and push Edward up against the opposite wall but he knew he couldnt.
"Thanks, they were just about to slip." That was the best Jasper could come up with, he didn't know what else to say.
"It's okay, just pass them over and i'll help you out to your car." Edward replied but Jasper couldn't seem to pull his hands away. He loved being able to feel his skin again, in that moment they were the only two people who existed. And just like that he knew that he wouldn't be able to keep away from him. With some effort he pulled his hands back and started to walk in the direction of his car, scrambling for something to say to Edward.
"So how are you enjoying the class so far then?"
"Yeah i really like it, but then i've always been pretty interested in history. It's interesting to know how much a country can change, and so can attitudes."
Jasper nodded his head along, that was exactly why he had taken an interest in history and why he had decided he wanted to pursue it as a career. He loved the idea that he could spark some enthuisiasm from his students for the subject just as his teachers had done for him.
"Well i'm glad to know then that i definitely have one student who won't be falling asleep on me, well at least not because of the subject." Both of them laughed at that, but speaking of falling asleep on him Jasper's mind wandered back to that night. The way Edward had looked sleeping next to him and he had to suppress a groan, he wanted that again so badly. They got to his car and he quickly opened the boot and dumped all of the stuff in there. He turned to Edward to thank him and was pushed back up against the car and then there were hungry lips on his own and he found himself kissing back. He couldn't deny this feeling any longer, he needed this and he greedily accepted everything that Edward had to offer. After a few moments he remembered where he was, remembered that there would be other teachers making their way to their cars and home. He pushed Edward away.
"Stop -"
"Don't do this again, stop fighting it."
"I'm not but i can't do this here, we're in full view of everybody and i really would like to keep my job." Jasper explained
"Oh right, yeah sorry i didn't really think about the location. We obviously need to talk, we can't just keep letting each other down and then building each other back up again. It will drive us both insane. Can i come over to yours, just to talk?" Edward clarified, peering up at Jasper through his lashes.
"I don't know. I'm not sure if it's such a good idea for us to be alone together."
"Look, i get where you're coming from. But we need some privacy for the conversation that has to take place, and we can't talk about it at school just in case somebody overhears. So this is really the only option, i'll be careful and make sure nobody sees me."
"Okay, okay. But we have to be really careful about this, there's a lot at stake."
They agreed to meet at Jasper's on friday night, just in case this talk took a long time. Edward would come over for dinner, that way his parents would believe he had just gone over to a friends house. It almost felt like a date to Jasper but he didn't let himself dwell too long about this, it was simply a talk over dinner. They couldn't do it on a school night because Jasper had so much work to do and Edward wouldn't be able to be out very late, plus he had homework to complete. They both agreed that until they talked it over they would simply act like another student and teacher, completely normal to the outside world. Jasper still wasn't sure if letting Edward come over to his was such a smart idea but then he realised that there was no other option, Edward really did think beyond his years sometimes.