Mirror – Chapter 10
Rick pulled up infront of Michonne's house, with her sitting quietly in the front seat. After leaving the forensic science centre where Gabriella's remains were positively identified, he took Michonne to get some coffee at Sharon's diner. For one hour, they sat opposite to each other, neither of them saying anything.
Rick observed Michonne closely and saw the signs that she was on the brink of self-destruction. Her eyes were dead and vacant. There was nothing there…there was no more tears left. It was all dried up.
The waitress checked on them several times and asked if they needed anything else. Rick told her no and ignored the quick curious stares of the other patrons and waitresses in the diner. He focused on Michonne's lips and chest. Her breathing was slow and shallow. He whispered to her.
"Michonne?'
She didn't respond.
"Michonne?"
She blinked slightly and Rick was relieved. Atleast she is conscious somewhere inside there.
"Do you want to talk?"
Michonne closed her eyes. He knows that he can't push her but she really needed to talk to someone, anyone.
"Do you want to go home?"
In response, Michonne slowly slid out of her seat. He followed and walked carefully out behind her. Now, as they sat in his car infront of her house for the past 15 minutes, Michonne kept her eyes focused outside on nothing of note. Her phone rang several times but she didn't pick up.
Rick looked at his time. It was late and Michonne needed to rest after the night that they had just had. Suddenly, she opened the door and got out. He got out from his side and walked over to her and when he touched her, she flinched, stopping dead in her tracks.
They stood there for a couple of seconds and she began walking up to the front door again while digging in her purse for the house keys. While fumbling in her bag, Rick felt the frustration emanating off her. He took her bag and found the keys.
On trying the second key, the door opened and they stepped inside. Once in, he guided Michonne towards the kitchen and sat her down at the counter. Working quickly, he made a cheese and ham sandwich and put it in front of her.
She looked down at it and slowly, she reached and began eating. Rick watched her as she ate mindlessly. He knew he couldn't leave her like this. The experience that Carol relayed to him kept playing over and over again in his head.
That situation didn't end well and he began remembering his and Abe's own pain.~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Five years ago….
Four officers had a screaming Rick and an enraged Abe pinned down on the ground. They were both calling out the names of their loved ones in the wreckage.
"Dylan!"
"Carl!"
"Simone!"
"Ellie!"
"Calm down sir!" one of the officers shouted at Abe.
"Get off of me!" Rick yelled at the officers holding him down on the warm asphalt. Soon, the fire department arrived and began cutting open the wreckage to retrieve the bodies. After the second cut, a child's shoe fell out.
An animal cry ripped from Abe as he threw the officers off him and lunged forward. He had just reached forward in time and grabbed the bloody shoe when he was tackled again.
"Take them away!" A senior officer commanded.
Abe and Rick fought ferociously as more officers came forward and dragged them away kicking and screaming.~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
In one corner of the waiting room, Rick was on his phone leaving the fourth voicemail for Lori on her phone. He begged her to call him back. He had called her more than a dozen times to inform her of the accident and that their son Carl didn't survive.
He cursed each time her phone went unanswered and now resorted to leave voice messages. He looked over and saw the mixture of pain and rage in Abe's eyes as he held an inconsolable Sasha in his arms. As she cried and clutched Dylan's shoe in her arms she was mumbling through her tears.
"It can't be him Abe! It can't be our son!"
Abe cupped her face and planted wet apologetic kisses on her face.
"I'm so sorry baby!"
She still refused to believe it.
"It can't be Dylan!"
She looked over at Rick and she felt his pain too because she walked over and pulled him into her arms.
"Oh Rick!
Without warning, he broke down in her arms, crying violently on her shoulders.
"I'm sorry!" He croaked as he wrapped his arms around her waist tightly.
"It's ok! I'm here for you! Abe is here for you! We are in this together!"
Abe felt good seeing his wife comfort his best friend. At a time like this, no one should be alone. He had Sasha but Rick was all alone. They pulled apart when the coroner walked into the room.~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Lori saw all the missed calls from Rick but refused to take them. Even though years had passed she was still bitter about her divorce from him and was more livid when they had shared custody of Carl. She watched as the voicemails kept coming in and on the fourth one, she finally decided to listen.
As the message played on in her ear, she grew paler and paler and then she dropped her phone on the floor and fled the room.~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"I want to see my son!" Sasha cried.
They could see that the coroner had been crying. His eyes were bloodshot and puffy and he was struggling to speak. He looked at the grieving parents standing before him.
"I don't think that is a good idea Mrs Ford."
"Don't tell my wife she can't see out son!" Abe barked. The coroner swallowed hard.
"It's not that I don't want her to see her son! It's just that…that…"
The man took deep breaths as he looked at them.
"Just what?"
Rick looked at the coroner closely, then placed his hand on Abe's shoulders to calm him down. Abe looked at him puzzled as Rick turned his attention back at the man.
"Just tell us…did they suffer?"
It was the first time since the coroner walked into the room that relief flashed in his eyes.
"No. They didn't."
Sasha grabbed on to Abe's shirt and started crying again.
"I'm so sorry for your loss."
The door opened behind them and two men walked in. They were in plain clothes and identified themselves as Atlanta PD officers but Rick didn't know them. The Coroner gave Rick his card.
"If you have any more questions, please call me."
Rick took the card and he left the room. Abe took Sasha to a seat nearby. Then he and Rick addressed the officers.
"What can you tell us?"
"Mr Grimes, your car was stopped legally at a traffic light. When it turned green, it proceeded through the intersection when a black sedan broke the traffic light in the adjacent direction and ploughed straight into your car."
"Do you have person who did this in custody?"
The officers looked at each other.
"Eyewitnesses said about five minutes after the crash, another black sedan vehicle drove up and took the driver away."
"What?! How is this possible?" Abe asked.
"What are you doing to find this person?"
"We are doing everything we can to find the driver. We pulled CCTV footage from nearby cameras and confiscated cell-phones from the people who witnessed the accident."
"I want to see the footage."
"We know that you were a cop Mr Grimes and you know that we can't share evidence with you. Captain Baines knew that you would asked to see the evidence we collected."
"We'll see about that!"
Suddenly, the door angrily flew open behind them. It was Lori.
"This is all your fault! If Carl was with me he would have still been alive! He's dead because of you!"
Rick stumbled back as Lori's words cut through him. He opened his mouth to speak but no words came out. He was dumbstruck.
"How could you blame him for Carl's death?" Abe asked angrily.
"Stay out of this Abe!"
Lori raised her hand to slap Rick but it was caught in mid air. She turned to see that it was Sasha. Sasha slammed Lori's hand at her side and then slapped Lori hard across her face.
"Don't you ever talk to my husband like that! How dare you just come in here and start ripping into Rick for something he had nothing to do with or have any control over?! What kind of woman are you?! Rick has been calling you for hours! Where were you?!"
Lori held her reddened cheeks, glaring at Sasha. Unexpectedly, she lunged at her, but Sasha was quicker and sidestepped her attack and Lori crashed into the chairs behind. The room was deafeningly quiet as Lori, slowly got up, her pride and dignity wounded. She faced everyone before focusing her evil gaze on Rick.
"You took my son away from me and now he's dead. You will pay for this."~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
After Michonne ate, she went on the sofa and lay down. Ten minutes later she was fast asleep. Rick tidied the kitchen and sat down on the sofa opposite Michonne. He watched her until the sun came up.~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Carol and Karen followed the directions and soon they were knocking on Michonne front door. Rick opened the door and signalled for them to be quiet as he ushered them inside.
"What's going on Rick?"
He motioned for them to follow him and they walked stealthily pass Michonne who was still asleep in the sofa. They huddled at the far side of the kitchen. It took Rick only 5 minutes to relay to them what had transpired from yesterday to current.
"I remembered what you told me Carol, about Ms Fredericks, about what she did and how it affected you. I couldn't live with myself if I had left Michonne alone and she killed herself. She tried to do it before."
"You did good Rick. You did the right thing by staying here with her."
"We have a group meeting this evening. You think she should come?"
"Yes. She needs to be reminded that she's not alone in this."
They all nodded in agreement. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Carol and Karen stayed and took care of Michonne so that Rick could go home to shower and have a change of clothes. Carol advised him to also get some sleep. They promised that they will bring her to the meeting later this evening.~*~*~*~*~*~
Rick arrived at the CVOC office atleast 2 hours early. Rosita noticed how restless he was.
"Are you okay?'
"Yes. I'm fine."
Rosita's facial expression told him that she didn't believe him but she knew better than to push the issue.
"Okay. We had a few enquires but only 2 new clients."
Rick nodded and went into his office with the new files to looked them over. He set them down on his desk and dialled Carol's number.
"We'll be there in an hour Rick."
"How is she?"
"No change."
"Can't we give her some kind of medication to snap her out of this?"
"No Rick. We can't. Medication will only shut her down completely. She needs to open up."
"Well let's hope today helps."~*~*~*~*~*~
Rick reserved a seat specifically for Michonne and he wanted her to be extra comfortable. He also put the seat in a vantage position where he could clearly see her. He didn't know what to expect but he was hoping for the best but at the same time preparing for the worst.
Some people had already began filing into the room and saw the expression on Rick's face whenever they went near Michonne's seat. After the tenth person, Karen walked in and he began to panic when he didn't see Carol or Michonne come in behind her. She raised her hand to reassure him.
"They are in the lobby Rick."
Ten minutes later Michonne walked in with Carol close behind her. As if telepathic, Michonne walked straight to the seat Rick had reserved for her. He smiled and didn't notice the subtle glances among the other attendees including Jessie.~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The session had been going on for the past half hour. The second new member had just introduced herself and began speaking about losing her son in a negligent house fire. Although they were listening to the others, Carol, Rick and Karen were also splitting their attention in keeping an eye on Michonne, who seemed to be getting more irritated as time passed. She was shaking her foot and her hands were clenched on her lap. Carol and Karen glanced at each other.
"I visited her gravestone three days ago and…."
"Then why aren't you grateful?!" Michonne snapped angrily at the startled woman.
All eyes were on her now, including Rick's. Michonne's words dripped with disdain.
"Every session I come here, all you people ever do is whine and cry and complain! How ungrateful can you guys be?"
The shock of Michonne words reverberate throughout the room. The woman looked at Carol who for once didn't know what to do.
"Excuse me?" the woman finally manage to say.
"You are ungrateful! Every last one of you! Atleast you can visit your child's grave! Some of us don't have that luxury! Some of us will never have that chance! You can grieve properly!"
"You don't have to be rude!" Jessie finally interjected. "We are all here for the same thing! We are all hurting! We are all the same!"
Jessie's words lit a fire in Michonne's bones because she shot to her feet, screaming at the top of her lungs.
"WE ARE NOT THE SAME! WE ARE NOT THE SAME! Do you know where I was last night?! I was on my hands and knees digging through a grave, praying and hoping that finally I would find my daughter! I have been doing that for the past four years! Cayla doesn't have a final resting place like your child does! She doesn't have a gravestone like your child does. She was taken from me four years ago and I haven't seen her since! Do you have any idea what's that like?! Being hopeful that every knock on your door could be your child finally coming home! I don't know if she's dead or alive! If she's alive not knowing if she's hungry or sick or hurt or scared! If she calls out my name I can't hear her and I can't help her! If she's dead, not knowing if she suffered painfully or went peacefully! If her body was left lying in a ditch somewhere to rot! Those are answers I may never get! I have been dying every day little by little for the past four years! Last night I felt like I took my last painful breath!
Michonne grabbed her chest and deeply inhaled several times.
"I know someone was taken from all of us…someone precious. We are all hurting...we are all in pain but don't you ever make the mistake of thinking that we are the same! Some of you have a measure of comfort knowing that your child will never be hurt again, or get scared again...that they are finally at peace. That is something many of us will never have!"~*~*~*~*~*~*~
After Michonne's angry and emotional outburst, she fled the room. Rick rose to his feet to go after her but Carol stopped him.
"Let her go Rick. That is what she needed to do. She needed to get all of her anger and pain and frustration out in the open and out of her system. This is her breakthrough."
Rick reluctantly sat back down in his seat as Karen apologized for the ending the session early. Some people were crying and others expressed concern for Michonne's plight. Jessie and two other ladies huddled together over by the refreshment's table.
"I can't believe she said those things!" Jessie quietly seethes.
"I don't know. She does have a point. Not knowing where your child is after so long…it would take a toll on you. I can't imagine what she's going through. Not knowing is they are dead or alive! That's real torture!"
Jessie looked at the woman slightly annoyed. She was hoping to get some support for her point of view. She turned to the other woman.
"You think she was right?"
"When they finally found my son's body out at sea I did feel relief. I got my son back even if he was dead. I can visit him at his grave anytime I want. That is something she doesn't have. She's right. She isn't like us."
Jessie turned and walked away from the women fuming.~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Michonne slowly opened the door to Rick.
"Hey."
She stepped aside and Rick walked in.
"I came to check up on you…to see if you were ok."
"I am."
They looked at each awkwardly. Michonne looked tired and drained so he decided that he would leave. He began walking back to the front door and when his hand held on to the door knob, Michonne shrieked.
"Please don't leave me!"
Rick spun around immediately. Michonne was shaking her head and her eyes were filling up with tears.
"I lied! I'm not ok! Please! I don't want to be alone anymore! Please don't leave me."
He dropped his bag on the floor walked up to her and encircled his arms, protectively around her.
"I'm here Michonne. I'm not going to leave you."~*~*~*~*~*~*~