John was holding Rodney in his arms. John was shouting his name. He wasn't responding. He still had all the wires trailing from him, and his eyes were open, glassy.
They weren't blinking this time. John shouted his name again, willing the man to wake up.
Wake up!!
The man took a breath suddenly. John was happy. He put a hand on his friends face.
Rodney's face twisted with anger, with pure hate.
You said you would come back! You're too late John! You were too late to save me!!
And then the eyes were glassy again. John shouted his name
Wake up!! I saved you! I got there in time!!
You were too late. I am a shell. You were too late.
Too late.
Wake up!!
John Woke up with a start. He sat up suddenly, breathing hard. He rubbed his eyes manically. When had he fallen asleep? He shouldn't have let himself. He looked up at his friend, not expecting to see a change in what had been his completely still form all day. At first, there appeared to be no difference.
Then, he saw the tear on his friends face. A single shining line, catching the last deep red of the setting sun. It took a moment for him to register, and in that moment Rodney let out a shuddering sob. He seemed to let go, tears coming thick and fast now
"Buddy!" John said "Hey, McKay, its ok! McKay! Rodney!!!" There was no response. Rodney was still crying. John immediately took the same action he had on the planet. He leant over his friend, and put a hand on his arm. Reminding him he was there. Rodney seemed to still slowly, still keeping his eyes jammed shut. He moved closer to John.
"...John?" John barely heard the soft murmur, weak and quiet.
"Hey there Rodney" He replied softly. He waited for his friend to relax slightly, then began to move back slowly. He sat back down in his chair, but kept skin contact on Rodney's arm. The moment he had moved a certain amount Rodney clenched his hand over John's, willing him to stay.
"I'm not going anywhere buddy, I'm here" He squeezed Rodney's grip to emphasize the point.
"Why…still here…" Rodney choked coughed slightly, his voice still heavy with tears "You were gonna… come back...rescue me…You said..." He trailed off silently, the tears were rising again. John closed his eyes. Rodney thought that they were still there.
You were too late to save me...
"I did come back. We're back in Atlantis now, you're in the infirmary" John said, slowly. He didn't want his friend to be left like this.
"Atlantis..." John clutched at the hope that Rodney had recognised it, but knew that it was more than likely he had just repeated the word that John had said that he didn't understand.
"Yeah, Atlantis" He thought of how to get through to Rodney what Atlantis was. "Home. You're safe here"
Rodney frowned, but did not respond. He seemed to be having an internal battle. Slowly, he saw the fear began to seep onto Rodney's face. He didn't want Rodney to go into any memories again. He needed him to stay in the present
"Look, i can show you" He said, suddenly having an idea. At his voice, however, Rodney jumped suddenly, shying away from the noise. He immediately tightened his hold on Rodney's arm "Hey, hush, its ok..." He said, waiting for Rodney to slowly relax again. John quietly started this time, careful not to frighten his friend "Come on, open your eyes, I can show you" he reminded, and Rodney dutifully open his eyes slowly.
Rodney did not look at John. John feared that glassy eyed stare that went through you, not seeing anything. He waited for the gaze to turn to him. He feared the moment. Instead, Rodney continued to look quizzically at the ceiling.
"Dark?" He asked. John looked around him, realizing that the day was coming to an end and the lights were automatically dimming with it. He checked his clock, not sure how long he had been asleep. He was relieved it had only been about half an hour.
"Yeah, it's getting late. It does that" John let his arm fall and leans forward towards Rodney, watching his face, hoping to see recognition in his eyes. The movement caught the attention of his friend, and his head slowly lolled to one side. There is a moment where Rodney seems to be refocusing, and wher John didn't breathe. He held his breath, he hoped, be prayed.
But in the end, there was no recognition.
John let his eyes fall, sad, as Rodney squinted at him, as if seeing him for the first time. There is a few moments of silence, Joh not looking at his friend. Then, he felt a hand on his face. He looked up in surprise to see Rodney still staring confusedly at John's face. It was is if he felt he should recognize it, but didn't remember it. Rodney was slowly tracing his jawline with his hand, still squiting at his face.
"McKay?" John asked, frozen in place. Rodney seemed to be shocked out of his trance, and let his arm drop limply. His eyes returned to the ceiling, and he sighed raggedly.
"Tired..." He mumbled, the word catching in his throat. John knew what it was like waking up in the infirmary, parched and dry-mouthed. He already had a glass of water sitting by Rodney's bed, and he picked it up. He waited for Rodney to finish coughing weakly, then held the glass to his lips
"Here" He tilted the cup slightly, wetting the mans lips, letting him know what it was.
Rodney froze in place, and John forze with him, not wanting to send Rodney into another panic attack.
Rodney suddenly exploded into movement. He twisted his head violently away from John and spat the small amount of water that had entered his mouth back out again. He brought his arms up, protecting his face, and knocked the beaker out of John's hands, sending water flying everywhere.
"No!" He shouted, raggedly "Please! No more!"
"Whoa, buddy" John said, worriedly "You're here, you're safe, its ok!"
"No!!!" Rodney shook his head violently "Please!"
"Snap out of it! Rodney!" John took hold of Rodney's shoulders harshly
"Get away from me!" John didn't know if the exclamation was just another part of the memory or Rodney actually shouting at him - or both. When ROdney continued to thrash, John decided it was the former.
"You!are!in!Atlantis! Rodney!" John said each word as its own seentence, giving his freind a small shake with each one "Snap out of it!! Rodney!!" Rodney was calming down, John realized. He was calming down again. "Rodney!!"
Rodney seemed to return to the real world violently, instantly throwing up his arms to clutch onto John's clothes, retuning the vice like grip the man had on his shoulders. Rodney whimpered, holding onto John with all his might. John thought that he was out of it, but the few moments of reality slipped away from Rodney again as he scrunched his eyes closed again, returing to the memory.
"Look out the window! Open your eyes, look around you!" John said. Some of his words seemed to filter through, because Rodney's eyes flew open, but they just stayed staring at the ceiling, wide and full of fear. John only gave him a moment to try to move on his own, but he didnt seem to be. He was to far gone into his memory. John gave up and clutched his friend's head gently, turning it to look out the window.
"Dont touch me!" The pained cry startled John and he let go, but Rodney's head was already turned. The man looked out the window, taking it all in.
The infirmary window looked back towards the city, back towards the central spire and all of its surroundings. The deep red of the setting sun swathed the towers in an etheral half-darkness, with thousands of pinpoints of light pricking the scene, thousands of windows staring right back at them. all set against the backdrop of the sea dissapearing into the distance, dark and opaque, the red of the sun reflecting a long band of colour towards them, the purple of the sky settling around it impatiently, waiting for night to arrive completely. It was one of the most beautiful sights of Atlantis, to watch the red sunset. But, what was most important for Rodney to see was what it was.
"Home" John said, quietly "You're safe here." Rodney relaxed visibly, settling down. He continued to look out the window. "Safe" John said again.
Rodney sighed.
"Safe..." He murmured.
"Yes" John said happily, glad to see that Rodney was back here, that he understood. He sat down again, rubbing his eyes. Rodney turned his head again, looking at him.
He was smiling. Rodney was smiling. John returned the smile entirely.
"You...You came...back for me..." Rodney said, weakly. John place a hand on his arm.
"Of course i did" He said.
"Thankyou..."
"Anytime. I will always come back to get you." John smiled, squeezing his arm "Now, Get back to sleep, I'll still be here when you wake up." he promised. Rodney smiled and turned his head back towards the window, watching Atlantis fall asleep. JOhn followed his gaze, watching his city breathe with the flickering on and off of different lights as her inhabitants slowly went by their routines, then finally reaching their rooms and falling asleep.
John didnt know when Rodney fell asleep, but he stayed awake for a long time, just incase. he watched the red sun slowly dissapeare behind the horrizon, the show over, and the darkness swarm in to take control again. He watched the last of the stars peak out, contending with the windows all over Atlantis. he watched for a long time, then found imself drifting off as well. He relaxed into his chair, and kept one hand on Rodney's.
Both men fell headfirst into a much needed long, deep sleep.
Like i say, a bit of a shorter chapter compared to the others. Hope you liked it! PLEASE reveiw!!!! i didnt get many reveiws for the last chapter and i was saad~~ *puppy eyes* what would the reveiw gods think?! Im officially taking a week off now - busybusybusy, thats me! =] hope you can live without me for a weak xD - thou then again, it probably wont be a week, as all i do is write, so i will be very bored.. but you know. Im leaving. for a while. then, i will be back...
Yours, Kai xx