CODENAME: LIGHTNING
We're gathered around a screen in a house in Phantom Village. The screen is currently running the news for Heaven. There is to be a major announcement today. Gilgamesh's spies in The Sacred Nebula came today, telling us only this. What this will mean, of course, is any one's guess. I'm fairly certain it won't spell good news for us, whatever the case. These things never do.
Ah, it's beginning. And there's an all-too-familiar face on the screen. One I didn't think I would have seen in Heaven, and certainly not in this position.
"We now turn to the Palace of Lobok, the High Seat of The Sacred Nebula, where it has just been announced that the message of The Elohim is to be delivered by one Galenth Dysley, the newly appointed High Seraph of the Elohim. Let's tune in."
The cameras focus in on the face. That's him. Old, scruffy, and looking ever more unpleasant. It's unusual for an angel to choose to appear old. Gods do it to portray wisdom and might and eternal nature, but angels? No, only this one. And now he's speaking, that smarmy, smug voice of his ringing in the air and rattling the ear.
"My dearly beloved friends and family of the Heavens. It is with great pleasure that I announce to you, today, the beginning of a new and marvelous program given us by The Elohim, The Gods of The Gods. I fear, however, that I must begin by explaining something very grave to all Heaven's host. Heaven has changed. Look around you. Things are wrong. There is crime, and vice, and sin, and imperfection everywhere. This bothers you, it worries you. It makes you sick. It frightens and scares you, and with good reason.
"Hell has mobilized, my beloved brethren. It has begun to permeate the walls of Heaven, and attack us, not by force, but by subterfuge. The demons deep within have been the ones guiding the actions of one Scholar and his associates. Yes, the wanted Cids are double agents. They are angels who serve not Heaven, but Hell. It was, quite likely, them who brought this disaster upon Heaven. They remain, to this very moment, public enemy number one.
"But fear not! For His Supreme Excellency, The King and God of The Gods of The Gods, Cidian Gaius Lufaine, EL CID, has prepared salvation for you all. How? We must eliminate this cancer before it grows and destroys us. We must strike now! We must strike to remove these demons who have long been hiding amongst us! They could be anyone! They could be disguised as your family, and your friends! Your loved ones have long since been cast by these hateful monstrosities into the depths of The Void, from which there is no return. Will you then allow these demons to masquerade, even as your Gods?
"For this reason, starting today, we are pleased to announce project New Heaven. This project will require the inspection of all beings Heavenly. Be they Gods, Angels, or Unborn. The office of Inquisition, under the guidance of High Confessor Zalmour has been opened to those demons who wish to come and confess already of their deeds. High Confessor Zalmour's Inquisitors will inspect all others from henceforth.
"We are aware that some demons will resist. We are certain they will take hostages. They will try to persuade you that they are real, that they ARE your loved ones. Do NOT be taken in! And do not fear! We are pleased to tell you that the Office of Judgement has been created for your protection. Headed by The Lady Cosmos, your safety will be guaranteed by Her specially chosen Judges. We also wish for you this day to meet the Judge Magisters, the Knights in Shining Armor who will protect you from the coming storm. Look to them, oh citizens of Heaven! Look upon them, for they are your saviors!"
The view shifts from Dysley to the grounds below him. The Pearly Gates open and reveal a series of individuals dressed in heavy, shining armor. Dysley's voice confirms one after another Heaven's defenders.
"Snow Villiers, Cidolfas Orlandeau, Lord Braska, Beatrix Alighieri, Irvine Kinneas, Zack Fair, Celes Chere, Cara Mayer Baldesion, Cecil Harvey, Kain Highwind, Basch ffon Rosenburg, Cid Randell, Leon Esla, Ingus Urson, Lionheart Costa, and, of course . . ."
Oh Gods, they must be joking. I've seen The Cosmos Report, and I already found it sick what was done there, but to do this. To do this! How very . . . ballsy of Cosmos. And how very, truly messed up this is. There he is, though; dressed in red armor, shining shield, horned helmet, long, unkempt hair. He's like a God, yet he is Heaven's biggest slave. The man I most pity in all of Heaven.
"Sol, The Warrior of Light."
Cuore slaps Benjamin in surprise. Benjamin shouts in vexation, and Arazlam, who'd been drinking some of that strange black drink Gilgamesh was chugging, suddenly chokes, then sprays out the stuff. It can't be, but it is. As Her flagship move, Cosmos has taken her favorite toy out and will play with it. The poor thing. He has no idea . . .
I rise to my feet. I look around me. I can feel it. Heat in my body. Rising. My blood is rushing, so, so quickly. Anger. So much anger. I need a target. Need something to break. Need to scream. Need to run. I know the man on the screen. This Warrior of Light. He was . . .
"I'll do it. I'll help Gilgamesh bust into the Prison at Sanity's Edge. I don't care if we get Gogo out or not. I don't care what the end result really is. I just want to set some things on fire and cause some serious damage right now. This!" I cry, pointing to the screen, "This is an abomination. Whatever it takes to rip Cosmos apart, limb from limb, and cause Heaven to come crashing down around The Gods, I'll do it. But THIS! This I will not stand for any longer."
Coure rises, ever graceful, despite her emotions. "Well then, I'm in. You know me. I just like to see things go BOOM, hahaha." Graceful, yes. Sane? Never.
Arazlam gets to his feet. "I suppose it's unanimous, then. If we're going to break into this prison, we're going to be the biggest enemies of Heaven in all of Eternity."
"Aren't we already? We're planning on a revolution against The Gods and exposing the biggest sins of all time. If The Scholar had succeeded, he would have had Cosmos thrust into The Void. If we succeed, The God of The Gods of The Gods will have to send himself to The Void. We're going to catch them in their own web of lies."
"Awright!" Benjamin cries, "Finally some action! Man! I thought we'd NEVER get to do a fight scene! Seriously. If I had to sit around forever and see Gilgamesh try and get in your skirt for one more chapter, I'd have to gag!"
"Bennie, honey?" Cuore says, slithering over to him, her arms suddenly around his neck, a demon's grin on her lips. One of her hands slides down Benjamin's body, stroking his side, backside, and thigh, "SHUT UP. Nobody knows what you're talking about. Chapters? This isn't some poorly written story, it's real life, love." Suddenly, the hand which had been distracting Benjamin turns into a fist, and finds its way in between his ribs. Benjamin groans in pain, then slumps to the floor.
"Gods," Arazlam remarks, "With women like you on our side, who needs enemies? You're worse for Benjamin than those Judges will ever be."
"Never mind that," Cuore snaps, "Let's get this show on the road. Pretty boy here will pull himself together eventually. Isn't there somebody we need to see?"
"Not sure about that," Someone says behind us, "But I see some body I'd like to see more of."
I groan in frustration. Only one person could possibly make so stupid a statement. I turn around and yep, there he is. Gilgamesh. Dressed again in his suit with his eyes blindfolded. How he "sees" anything with that ribbon around his head is beyond me. But I can't let his raging hormones throw me off balance. There are more important things to talk about here.
"We want in." I say.
"Kitten, I've wanted in you since the time I first laid eyes on you. And speaking of things getting laid . . ."
"No, I mean we're willing to help you attack The Prison."
"Well that's just fine. One little problem, though."
"And that is?"
Gilgamesh enters the room, walking past us, he flops down on one of the cushions near where Benjamin is still huffing in pain. He props his feet up on Benjamin's back, causing Benjamin to fall to the floor completely.
"We need Benjamin in fighting shape. At the most important moment, he has to use The Shrug of Destiny. He can't do that if he's bleeding from every pore, now, can he?"
"Right, so no more injuring the secret weapon, huh?"
"I still object to this," Cuore says, "It's just a shrug."
"And you're just a Maenad. See how slippery the slope is?"
"Not really, Maenad are-"
"Yeah, pretty stupid and useless, just like politicians."
"What! How dare you compare me to-"
"A cheap and easy way to clean out a toilet bowl? Hey, don't get upset at me for being psychic."
"You're not psychic! You're just an as-"
"Seen on TV, right? I slice, dice, and julien fry. IF you know what I mean."
"Nobody knows what you mean! Nobody EVER knows what you mean! You're as stupid as-"
"You are useful? Which I guess means I'm not that dense, since you aren't that helpful."
"WHY YOU-"
"Sexy beast? Thanks, but I'm taken. Isn't that right, Ms. Farron?"
"Don't drag me into this!"
"I'm going to-"
"Hey, now. Fighting will get you nowhere. If you insist, there's plenty of me to go around. Look, I can be your man on even days, and hers on odd numbered days. And MAN but those days will be for doing all the most odd things, if you're into that."
"How can you even be so-"
"Sexually omnipotent? Nobody knows, Kitten. Just comes with the territory. That and the arms."
"I QUIT!" Cuore roars, storming out of the room. Gilgamesh gets to his feet, pushing Benjamin even more firmly into the floor.
After Cuore has left, Gilgamesh smirks at Arazlam and I and says, "Well then. You'd best be getting ready. We'll leave before day's end. There's a lot to do along the way."