Legend of Siberia

Part 10

by Neoraichu

This story is rated 'M' for Gratuitous Kink. Tigress X 'OC'

WARNING: This is a strange tale, so READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.

…

Po stared blankly at the pile of sacred scrolls that Master Shifu had set before him. It was his least favorite thing to do besides temple chores: reading the sacred scrolls. There was a thousand of them, and the Master insisted that each one be read in order. The worst part was the first 40 scrolls of the 50 set before him had nothing, or almost nothing, to do with Kung Fu. It had to do with herbal tea, decorative soaps and the proper stances for scrubbing floors.

"THIS time, Panda, make SURE you read EVERY scroll in order," scolded Shifu, "We want no repeats of LAST time."

"What happened last time?" asked Po, since he used the Fluttering Finger Mindslip to make himself forget about the whole incident with the Fluttering Finger Mindslip, including the fact that he had both learned and had an affinity for the Fluttering Finger Mindslip.

"Nothing," said Shifu, 'It's better I don't remind him about what happened the last time he read the sacred scrolls out of order. It might just cause him to do it again.' "It's just something to be left at, 'Read the scrolls in order and there won't be any problems'. Do you understand me, Po?"

"If you say so, Master."

"I do. Get to reading. You've been behind in your studies, so you better start with scroll 2."

"The one on using herbs in decorative soaps?"

"Well, it looks like you haven't forgotten everything you've read. But start with scroll 2 – just to amuse me. Remember, READ THE SCROLLS ABSOLUTELY IN ORDER THIS TIME. Now you'll have to excuse me, but I must check up on the chores I've assigned to Crane, Monkey and Viper."

Po sat on the floor and pulled scroll 2 from the pile. Shifu left as he started reading. After he was sure the Master had left, he dropped scroll 2 and picked up a random scroll.

"This MUST be more interesting," he mused as he started reading, "Hmm... The Fluttering Finger Mindslip... this... looks... AWESOME!" His eyes opened wide as his jaw dropped by a few inches. He paused to look around and make sure that Master Shifu wasn't watching. He unrolled the scroll and began reading.

...

Meanwhile, Taotie was putting the final touches on his new and improved (yet again) Iron Claws of DOOM... (DOOM... Doom... doom... doom...). He was proud of adding a few new features to his already improved and impressive weapon (it always impressed him, of course), such as adding a flame thrower that used a small amount of the lubricating oil, and fired out of the same hole as the chains of binding.

"The Furious Five and Shifu shall RUE the day they bested me! RUE!" he said to his number one (and only) son.

"What about Po, Dad?"

"He'll get some too!" swore the hog scientist, "I'll show them all that the days of Kung Fu are over, now and forever!"

"You say that every time you make a new weapon to destroy the Jade Palace."

"It's different this time."

"How so?"

"It... it... IT JUST IS, OKAY?"

"Whatever."

"Perhaps you do have a point there, son. I should test this on other Kung Fu Masters first... and their schools... Once I've proven it against them, I can feel more confident that I'll take down the Jade Palace. Fortunately, the countryside crawls with such places. The Valley of Peace hardly has a monopoly on Kung Fu, after all."

"I should stay here and clean up."

"You actually want to clean?"

"If it keeps me from getting beat up," muttered the son under his breath.

"What was that?"

"I said, 'If it keeps the dirt from building up'."

"Oh, how thoughtful of you. Someday, you'll be a genius like me."

"Whatever."

So Taotie took his new and improved (yet again) Iron Claws of DOOM... (DOOM... Doom... doom... doom...) out in search of victims... uh, test subjects.

...

After a couple of days of rest and recover, all insisted upon by Siberia and the healers, Tigress was ready to take the gifts of Grand Master Yak, a couple of backpacks of supplies, and Siberia, and start her return trip back south to the Jade Palace. Siberia was eager to go as well, and promised that she would start training Tigress on the way there as well. Tigress wished to carry training gear, but she was eventually convinced that the weight of the food and drink (as well as the Grand Master's gifts) would preclude it. She was also weary of taking bottles of liquor with her, but she was also assured that any other fluids would freeze solid and become unusable until they were well outside of the mountains, which was well too far to travel without some kind of fluid intake. The food, on the other hand, wasn't meant to be consumed on the move, and would be easy enough to thaw over the evening campfire.

So the two said their farewells to the Monks before setting out for their journey shortly after the sun had arisen above the horizon. They wanted the sun to warm the landscape just enough to make travel possible, but not wait so long that they would lose valuable time.

"Farewell, Siberia," said Grand Master Yak, "Until we meet again. Please take good care of Tigress. Our reputation depends on what sort of impression you two leave with Master Shifu, the Dragon Warrior, and the others of the Furious Five."

"I shall do my best not to let you down, Grand Master," swore Siberia.

"I'm sure that you will, my child."

She nodded as she followed after Tigress in the tracks in the snow.

...

'Hmm,' thought Po, 'Flutter hand right, flutter hand left, flutter hand up, flutter hand down, wave fingers in opponents' face, and zappo, tell them what you want them to think. That's so simple, yet so... AWESOME!'

He glanced up, and noticed the blank stare that Monkey was giving him. Then he looked at his waggling fingers, and realized he had just Mindslipped Monkey.

"Funny," said Monkey, "I came here to tell you something, but I forgot what it was."

"You said it was your turn to make Sticky Buns for dinner tonight," Po said quickly, "with extra sticky."

"Oh, I guess that must have been it. I must be feeling generous or something."

"Yeah," agreed Po, "I guess so."

"Okay, I guess I should go and get started on them."

"Yeah," agreed Po, "You should."

Monkey left the room scratching his head.

"That was AWESOME!" said Po in a subdued, yet forceful voice, "Best scroll ever! I wonder if they'll ever be able to blame me for anything ever again..."

He looked at the scroll as he mused, "I wonder if there's a downside to this?.. NAH!"

Then Master Shifu poked his head in the door and asked, "How's the study of the sacred scrolls going?"

"Fine Master," lied Po, "I'm already up to scroll eight: Weaving Reed Mats." He skimmed the titles of the first ten scrolls just in case Shifu checked up on him.

"Very well Po," agreed Shifu, "I'm just glad you're reading them in order this time... right?"

"Of course, Master," lied Po, "When have I ever let you down?

Master Shifu opened his mouth to answer, but Po interrupted, "That's a rhetorical question, Master."

"Of course."