As Promised I called Edward. It was my day off and luckily enough he also had the day off, so we made plans to hang out.

Strangely enough, there was no kissing or touching, just two guys hanging out like friends, except for the fact we were both strongly attracted to each other. It felt very calm and natural for us to just be around each other. There was no awkwardness between us. It just felt right.

We were sitting comfortably on my sofa in the living room watching a movie, keeping a respectable distance from each other. Somehow the subject of past relationships came up. Maybe it was because it related to the topic of the movie or maybe Edward was just curious, either way, it definitely changed the vibe of our hangout.

It started out as a very vanilla friendly hangout and ended up a deeper, more meaningful day of confessions of the heart.

"I never really had a deep connection with her. I liked her but it just felt like something was missing. She felt it too and I wished her the best and we went our separate ways. How about you? What was your last relationship like?" Edward asked breaking eye contact with the tv screen to give me his full attention.

I swallowed slowly feeling a lump in my throat. I didn't want to think of him, to feel the hurt again but it was coming back to me in a flood of memories. I took a deep breath to calm my nerves before responding.

"Umm, well my ex wasn't as good of a person as yours was and my views on the idea of lasting love are quite different than yours. You still believe in true love and that's great Edward and I wish I could too but I know better than to." I stated trying my best to hide my emotions.

"What did your ex do to you?" Edward asked puzzled.

I tensed up a bit not expecting to have to go into such detail but I knew Edward deserved to hear the truth; he was so open with me about his past relationship and his feelings towards me. It would have been incredible insensitive to all of a sudden shut him out and not give him the same honesty and bravery.

"My ex was an awful, selfish person. He lied, manipulated and cheated on me. We were together for over two years, we had ups and downs and I stayed by his side thinking it would be worth it in the end, that I was just overprotected, oversensitive and worried for no reason because I had no hard proof he was cheating. I just felt it. I didn't think that was enough proof at the time. I wasn't willing to give him up on a feeling alone. It drove me nuts, constantly worrying overnight, having trouble sleeping, worried every time he would check his phone, worried every time I didn't get a text back from him in a certain amount of time. Finally, I had the proof I needed." I expressed looking down at my hands.

"How did you find out?" Edward asked, intrigued.

I turned to face him trying hard to fight back the feelings that were creeping up in my heart.

"His wife told me." I said matter of factly.

Edward gasped, taken aback looking like he just got shot. I could see the concern on his face, the hurt in his eyes. I looked away not wanting to cry.

Edward gave my hand a squeeze trying to comfort me.

Don't cry, don't fucking cry!

"What a jerk! He didn't deserve you Jasper. I'm sorry you had to go through that."

I felt my eyes water but I held back tears.

"You know I still have days where I think I'm going to find him at my door waiting for me, begging me for forgiveness and to take him back."

I turned back to Edward sensing his anxiety on the matter.

"Not that I would ever take him back. I just sometimes fantasy about having closure and to have him admit that I existed, we existed, that whatever we had however fucked up, it was something, it was real, that it happened; Instead of feeling like a fucking ghost. It really fucks with your head to have somebody act like you were never even born, like they never even knew you." I struggled to say, fighting back tears.

Edward remained silent letting me continuing venting.

"I just want to feel that I'm good enough for love, that I'm worthy of love." I stressed, as a single tear slide down my cheek. I quickly wiped it away and bit down on my trembling lower lip trying to control my emotions.

"Jasper…"

"I don't love him anymore, I don't. And I don't miss him but I do miss some things about us... is that bad?" I asked.

"No." Edward replied, giving my hand another squeeze.

"I miss his presence. I miss having someone by my side. I miss being able to have someone of my own to be able to cuddle, talk with and be intimate with. To have a bond with someone, but I don't miss him." I clarified putting any doubts Edward had to rest.

"I just miss how comfortable it was at times. How even though it felt so wrong and fucked up, it felt so right at times. To be that open with someone and be able to share those moments with someone and having them willingly be there. I miss that." I said deep in thought.

I almost forgot Edward was there until he spoke up.

"I miss that too."

I glance down at his hand still holding mine in comfort and then back at him unsure.

"I want to believe that love can last, I do. But I don't know if I can."

"One step at a time Jasper, after all I just met you." Edward joked trying to ease some of the tension in the room.

I let out a small sincker at his humor, grateful for him easing the mood. A small smile spread across my lips which only grew when Edward leaned forward and placed a kiss on my cheek.

Great, now I'm blushing like a damn school girl.

Damn it, why does he have such an effect on me?

"It's nice to see you smile again. If I would have known all I had to do was kiss you to make you smile, I would have kissed you from the start." Edward teased, making me blush more.

Fuck.

"No one is stopping you now." I challenged.

Edward smirked and moved in pressing his soft lips against mine. My cheeks burned, my heart skipped a beat and my hands shook in nervousness as I moved them to the sides of his cheeks, embracing his face in the kiss. Edward's hands rested lightly on my waist. Our slightly parted lips moved slowly against each other in and out in one sensual movement. The only thing that could be heard was the sound of our lips smacking against each other and the sounds of our heavy breathing in between.