Waking to the sensation of pain had become common place during the last few days and this was no exception, but there was light in the room that was natural, and he was lying somewhere comfortable.
That didn't explain why Danny somehow felt bad in a way he hadn't before, like this pain was fresh and damn was it hot in here.
He blinked open his eyes, noting that he was in a hospital room, a familiar layout instantly told him which hospital. He couldn't see Steve and he worried that he'd been hurt too, or worse.
Agitated beeping beside him brought someone into the room, someone he faintly recognized.
"Detective, please don't struggle, you're in the hospital."
Danny shivered, an all too familiar bodily reaction he'd suffered through lately, but this wasn't because he was cold or hot, it was something else. It was ripping through him regardless. "Steve?" he asked.
The Doctor kept both her hands over him and simply nodded to the other side of the room. "He's in the next bed, he's sleeping, he's okay. Everything's going to be fine, just take some slow, deep breaths for me."
She demonstrated and he did his best to fall in line with her and calm down. Sweat began to bead on his brow and he lifted his hands to wipe at it. He glanced down at his body which was mostly covered by hospital scrubs and a sheet. he didn't feel woozy, not like he had before, the drugs Delano gave him must be wearing off.
He remembered now. Delano was dead. Chin had shot him, Steve had jumped him and Danny had put a bullet in him for the sake of it, to stop the madness around him at the time. He was beginning to feel like he could think clearly, but his memories were hazy and filled more with emotional triggers than logic.
The shaking in his body didn't let up and the pains throughout were nagging at him. He was in the hospital. Shouldn't he be getting better? It had been days since they'd physically tortured him, it must be by now, he should be healing.
"What's wrong with me?" He asked in juddering breaths.
"You're in withdrawal from the Shackle you were dosed with, and they must have given you a hell of a lot. I'm sorry, we can't give you any painkillers until we know it's fully out of your system."
Danny nodded, but he wasn't sure if it could be seen since his body was moving by itself anyway. "What's wrong with Steve?" he managed to ask.
"He uh," she began, trying to hide the rueful smile, "the paramedics couldn't get to you safely, so they called us and we had to sedate him. He's sleeping it off. This affected both of you quite badly, to have your bond forcibly broken down…"
Danny came up from the bed, a pain in his stomach, a feeling of it knotting inside him making him cringe and screw his face up. He curled in on himself. "I need him, I need Steve."
"I'm sorry, Daniel, he'll be awake again soon," Doctor James said.
"Don't call me that."
"What, Daniel?"
"He called me that, all the time. Don't call me that."
"Who called you that?" Her look was one of concern.
"Frank, I mean, Delano."
"Okay, what do you want me to call you?" She kept her face neutral at Danny's words.
"Everyone calls me Danny, there's no need to be formal, you've seen me naked, I'm guessing." She smiled at him and he tried to smile back.
"Okay, Danny it is. How are feeling, apart from the withdrawal, I mean?"
"I don't know… everything kind of hurts."
"Okay, well, we've treated what we could. The cuts, bruises and whatnot have been tended to, we've put braces on both of your knees for the moment, and your arms have been cleaned up but we won't be putting bandages on them right now, it's better for burns to be aired. But you need to be careful of them, try not to let them rub."
"Are you kidding me?" He forced out. "While I'm like this?"
"I mean it," she scolded. "I know it's difficult, but you'll get through this stage, trust me."
There was a groan from the other bed as Steve started to come around. The blonde Doctor got a worried look on her face as she released her hold on Danny, who hadn't realized just how steadying it had been. "Oh no, he's not supposed to be coming round quite so soon."
"What?" Danny asked, looking around him, trying to sit up straighter and see past the equipment around him to see Steve.
"Might need a little help in here!" She called out as she moved around to see Steve. Two nurses came into the room, one male and one female, as Doctor James ordered them around the place. He couldn't see what was happening as they stood around Steve's bed.
Danny turned onto his side, curled up, clutched his arms to his chest and pulled his knees up trying to ride out the tremors.
There was a low murmur of the doctor's voice, quiet words from the nurses and the sound of something rattling, like trying to pull something free that wouldn't budge.
"What's going on? Danny?!" Steve's voice rose above the others.
"Steve," he said in response. "I'm over here."
"Danny," Steve repeated, sounding agitated.
"Please calm down, Commander McGarrett, you're in the hospital, you and Danny are both safe."
"I can't see him, why can't I see him?" Steve asked, voice still raised, worried.
"He's behind me, he's just a few feet away. I need you to calm down, okay? He's injured but he'll be fine. I need you to be careful."
"I need… Danny?" Steve asked again.
"Right here," Danny stuttered out, not worried that his voice was quiet and rough, he knew Steve would hear him crystal clear.
Doctor James spoke quietly to the female nurse, who ran out of the room, then she returned her attention to Steve "McGarret? Sentinel McGarrett, I need you to calm down before I can let you go."
Let him go? Danny listened in again and realized the rustling clanging was the sound of Steve trying to get free from restraints. They must have tied him down for some reason. Danny remembered the look in Steve's eyes when he'd come for him, remembered thinking he'd never seen it before. Now that he'd seen Steve on the edge, he could understand why they might think to take drastic measures.
Catherine appeared at the door, followed by the female nurse who, it seemed, had been sent to get her. She looked over at Danny and shared a relieved but sad look with him. He couldn't quite interpret it, but it was perhaps her worry for Steve in this state, and maybe for seeing Danny the worse for wear.
"Cath, tell them I'm fine."
"You're not fine, Steve, but you will be." she encouraged. "Danny's right here, he needs you, just as much as you need him but he's hurt and you can't go to him like you did by the docks, okay? That scared the shit out of all of us, that's why they had to shoot you with a tranquilizer."
"You tranq'd him? Like an animal?" Danny asked, pushing up with his arms on the soft bed.
"We had no choice, Danny," Catherine reasoned. "You were unconscious and he wouldn't let the EMTs or any of us go near you. He kept growling like he was going to attack us if we tried, and they were worried because he was armed."
"I'm fine now," Steve interrupted.
"Your heart rate is crazy," she responded.
"It's crazy because I just woke up restrained in a hospital bed. But I'm fine now, please, just let me up."
Catherine took a moment or two and regarded Steve carefully. She looked briefly up at Danny then back to him. Using her own heightened senses she was trying to get a read on Steve's state, but also gave it a good time to just look in his eyes. She seemed to decide it was okay, and nodded to them to release Steve. She stayed, obviously wary in case she'd made the wrong decision.
Once the straps were released, Steve took his time getting up. So much so that Danny was the one getting impatient. "Steve," he said again, his voice still weak, and it got Steve moving.
Legs swung over the bed, he pushed himself up and came around the equipment to see Danny properly. They looked at each other for a moment and then Steve's eyes softened so quickly. He pushed forward, careful of Danny's injuries, grabbed one of his hands, and placed his forehead against Danny's.
"Danno, I'm so sorry," he said, his other hand coming to cup Danny's face. "I'm so sorry."
"Not your fault," Danny placated, wondering how he'd become saddled with this overgrown, damaged puppy with conflicting issues. One minute a control freak who had to know everything and be in charge, robotic, non-human. The next he crawled into his own shell, taking on the woes of the world as his own, shouldering blame that wasn't his, getting overwhelmed by his own head.
He was such a goof, but he was Danny's goof.
"I'm never letting you out of my sight ever again."
"Come here, come here," Danny didn't even care about himself at this point, he just pulled Steve so that he came up onto the bed with him and he curled into Steve's side, just as much as Steve curled himself into Danny. Like a yin and yang, they offered and took the shared comfort.
"You're shaking," Steve stated the obvious as he pulled Danny closer.
"That's the withdrawal, it's just one aspect of it, I'm afraid. His injuries are healing fine, the majority of them hurt like hell when inflicted but now I think they look worse than they feel." Doctor James was the only other person in the room now, everyone else had given them privacy. "He's hooked up to IVs since he was so dehydrated, and we've got a cocktail of electrolytes, minerals and vitamins in there too for the malnutrition. Please be careful not to pull anything out."
"He's in pain," Steve said.
"We can't risk giving him anything in case it interferes with the drugs already in his system. He needs to ride this out for a bit longer."
"What's going to happen?" See, this is why he needed Steve beside him right now. Danny could just take a back seat and let Steve ask the questions he needed to know the answers to.
"It's hard to say. He was given a pretty high dose, likely constant for a few days. We're having him go cold turkey on it because it's the best way to deal with Shackle. He's already experiencing the sweats and tremors, probably some intestinal pain. He might still feel some dizziness and nausea. We just need to get him past the next 24 hours."
"24 hours?"
"Normally it might be more, but having you here will help, even if your bond is weak right now. He needs your support. Your careful support. And we'll be keeping him monitored closely for the next 48. From what I've heard of the conditions he was kept in, we have to be wary of infection."
He felt the kisses Steve laid on his hair and forehead, and then he gripped tighter into Steve's t-shirt when he felt another wave of pain in his stomach. He held his breath and clenched his muscles.
"Try to relax into it, Danny," Doctor James said, like it was so easy. "Steady breaths."
"Danno, come on," Steve lifted Danny's face so it was level with his own, and so close their noses were touching. "Breathe with me, match it to mine." He did the best he could. A hand on Steve's chest, feeling the rise and fall and as he concentrated on breathing with Steve, he neglected the pains and sure enough, it lessened. He felt more in control of it all.
"Okay," the doctor said as everything seemed to calm again. "You both should try and get some sleep. I know it's been a tough week."
"Gotta say, for a liaison, you really did get here quick. Again," Danny commented.
"Well, again, I was already here." She put her hands in her lab coat. "I was at the airport, ready to wave goodbye to the sunshine when I was told you'd been kidnapped. The Center had me stay to take care of you. I guess I owe you one for the extended trip. Cascade isn't exactly the sunniest or warmest of places."
Danny huffed out a laugh. For someone from the Center, he actually quite liked Doctor James. She didn't talk down to him, and she did her best to keep things light, which he appreciated right now. He knew what he'd been through, he understood he needed to recover. He didn't need people walking on eggshells.
She looked sternly at Steve. "I know Guides, and how we operate. I'm no expert on feral Sentinels, Commander. A colleague from the Institute hopped a plane earlier. He'll be in later tomorrow to make sure you're okay too."
"I'm clearly lucid again. I've got Danny, I'm fine."
"Danny is the only Guide you've ever bonded with on any real level. The stress and anxiety you went through, the weakening of your bond, it all adds up to a whole bundle of Not Good. So you're talking to him. I'm not taking any 'Sentinel strong' barbarian bullshit on this one. You'll meet with him and you'll heed his advice on what to do next."
"Wow," Danny said, looking between them when Steve gawped at her like a goldfish. "You sounded just like me. I think you freaked him out. It's good. I knew I liked you."
Doctor James smiled down at Danny, conspiratorially. If they could have, he was sure they'd have done a high five or a fist bump or something, but he wasn't letting go of Steve any time soon.
"Rest," she reiterated. "I'm on call and just down the hall if I'm needed."
Danny wasn't getting any rest, so Steve wasn't either. He probably wouldn't have anyway. After 5 days of not knowing, of worrying, of avoiding the worst case scenario, he had Danny back with him and he wasn't going to take advantage of that ever again. He wouldn't take their bond for granted. He'd learned that it didn't matter about how strong they were together, and how they wouldn't choose to leave each other, because there may still be people out there who were against them, who would try and separate them. He needed to factor this in, he needed to work on contingency plans, on emergency kits, on code words and check-ins. Danny would probably hate it, but they needed to be more prepared.
He'd work on those things once Danny was recovered.
They'd shifted to spoon on the narrow bed. It was easier on Danny's injuries as the skin of his back wasn't damaged like his front, so if Steve rubbed against him it was fine. He was on hand to get Danny through any pains that cropped up and he held him when the sweat shakes ramped up.
It was dark outside now. Nurses had closed the blinds, they'd turned the lights down low, and had changed Danny's fluid bag.
"How long has it been?" Danny asked.
"About 5 hours or so."
Steve hadn't asked Danny about what he'd been through, but Danny had talked over his injuries. He'd detachedly told Steve how he'd been burned, beaten and cut up by a broken golf club and what they'd used to scrub him down, and where was the most badly damaged from the ministrations. He'd mentioned the cold hose washes, the small cell and how little they'd given him of anything he needed, like food and water.
He'd said it all, with very little waver in his voice, and a disjointed memory. Steve had taken it all in, determined to experience it in his mind's eye, and through it all he reined in his anger. Anger at Delano, at the criminals he'd hired, and himself for not being able to stop it sooner, to see it coming, for leaving.
He'd cried, though he tried to hide the tears from Danny.
He didn't want to, but Danny had insisted he tell him what had happened to everyone else. He asked if what he'd been told was true and Steve spoke of Chin's loss, of Kono's near-death experience, and he opened up about finding his mother, being confused, untrusting and thoroughly unimpressed with her lies and her attitude.
When Danny tightened up as another wave of pain came to his stomach, he started talking to distract himself, he'd done it all night so far, now Steve could tell a split second faster what was happening. "So, your mother is a Sentinel too?"
"Yeah. But I always knew that. I told you before."
"That's right, you did. She's got all five like you?"
"It's in my line, apparently."
"So there's you and your mother… and Catherine. I'm surrounded by Sentinels which is exactly what I didn't want growing up. How is this my life?"
"Just lucky I guess," they laughed as Danny's pains eased.
"That's one way of putting it," Danny stroked a hand over Steve's where it lay over his stomach. "I really hate drugs. Once this is over, can we just focus on putting some drug runners behind bars or something? I'll not even complain if you do something… you."
"We talking shark cage 'me' here?"
"Along those lines, yeah. I'm gonna give you a free pass because I tell you now, I will enjoy seeing you throw a couple of the bastards overboard."
"I'm sure that can be arranged."
By morning Danny was exhausted and yet, he couldn't close his eyes for very long before they just popped back open and something distracted him. Whether it be pain, or something moving, or making a noise, or, at one point, his bladder.
Steve had been right with him the entire time, even though he knew he must be tired too. But Steve was determined to copy Danny right now and there was no point in arguing.
Danny had curled a little more. His shoulder was still pressed to Steve's chest, but he'd turned more onto his back so he could free his arms up a bit. During the night he'd rubbed his arm right down his side where it was trapped and, despite the burns not feeling too bad, that had hurt. He'd had to apologize to Steve for hurting himself, when he was told off for it. It was true though. Normally the burns didn't hurt they just felt… odd. Tight. They weren't numb but there wasn't as much feeling in the skin as there should be. When he was younger, he'd worked in a diner over a summer and it felt just like when he'd burned himself on the hot plate, only on a larger scale.
Steve was hovering over him, his eyes full of concern. Danny hated seeing Steve look at him like that and it was mainly because it meant something bad had happened. He was well aware that it had this time too, the eyes were a reminder he didn't need.
He lifted a hand and cupped Steve's face, a face that was slightly blurry in the morning light. "They don't allow dogs in here, babe."
Steve looked down at him, confused, and in response he just looked back. He turned his head to where he'd seen the dog and it wasn't there anymore. It must have gone. Considering he'd seen it before, he realized it was Steve's spirit animal, so of course, it didn't matter if it was there or not.
He cleared his throat and changed the subject. "You know, we've been here a while now, I'm surprised Malia didn't come to see us."
"Danny?" Steve propped himself up higher on his elbow and regarded him more carefully. "Hey, Danno, you know she's not here anymore. We talked about this last night."
Danny rubbed his forehead, screwed his eyes shut and pinched the bridge of his nose. He struggled to sit up, but he needed to. He was sick of lying down. He was feeling exhausted, his body just one mass of jelly after having suffered the tremors through the night, but he needed to sit up.
"I thought he was lying about all that. I hoped… I mean, I had to think everything else was okay, you know?"
"I know," Steve got a knee under himself and an arm around Danny's shoulder, pulling him in for a hug and kissing into his hair. "I know. You remember we talked about this?"
"Yeah, yeah I remember." Danny nodded, reluctantly. He wasn't so confused by his thoughts anymore, he knew what had happened, it was just slow sometimes. "He got to all of us, in one way or another. How's Chin doing?"
"I'll be honest," Steve said, rocking back so he could see into Danny's eyes again. "I got wrapped up in you and me, I haven't been a very good friend to him these last few days."
"I'm pretty sure he understands, but we'll be there for him. Out of all of us, he's the one who took the brunt of it. He's the one that actually lost something," Danny looked at Steve. "Permanently."
Steve kissed Danny's forehead, then trailed his lips down to the tip of his nose, placed a light kiss there then tentatively touched his mouth to Danny's, giving the Guide a moment to breath and then he deepened the kiss, doing everything he could to pour his love and relief and promises into that touch.
Steve pressed his forehead to Danny's. "If I lost you-"
"I know," Danny cut Steve off before he could flounder for words. "Me too. Now can you do me a favor?"
"Sure," Steve sniffed as he pulled back fully.
"Get off my bed, I need to get up."
"You were in the bathroom no more than an hour ago," Steve moaned as he got up and off, reaching to help Danny.
"I know, I just need up. I can't lie in bed all the time. Don't want to get that leg thing they get on planes."
"Woah, wait, you're still not well, Danny. You need rest."
Danny landed his feet on the ground, Steve still supporting him despite his disapproval. "Sure I need rest, but I'm clearly not getting any. I'm stronger than I look, okay? Go fetch me a robe like a useful person."