Well hello there, y'all! Glad to be back after my month-long travel hiatus. Have to get the creativity flowin' again. Bear with me as I get my mojo back. :)

Thank you for the warm & fuzzies last chapter. I've made y'all wait this long; not going to prolong it now. New chapter; here you go…

Chapter 10

Paige was right on schedule for her appointment with Dr. Sullivan. She found these sessions to be very helpful. If nothing else they forced her to talk about things that she may internalize otherwise.

Growing up she made friends in each city she lived in but couldn't say they were close friends. Paige never really allowed it to get to that point. As soon as the friendship grew she'd have to leave anyway. What's the use in making it that much harder? For that reason if she were asked to list her closest friends and confidants, she'd draw a blank…until maybe now. The girls she has met in Rosewood could easily become that for her. Regardless, Dr. Sullivan provides an outlet for her that she had never realized was lacking, and she needs that especially at present.

"How have things been going, Paige" Dr. Sullivan asked.

"I'm getting there," Paige said as she nodded her head thoughtfully. She isn't sure where "there" is but she believes she's headed in the right direction. "At least my outlook is better than it was a few weeks ago." That doesn't mean Paige is void of the same concerns and feelings she had before. They are still there but not as close to the forefront.

"I'm glad to hear that." Dr. Sullivan consulted some notes on her iPad. "Have you had any opportunities to spend time with Riley since we last met?"

"Some. We've gone for coffee and practiced field hockey a little more. Her cousin Spencer has been joining us too."

"Good," Dr. Sullivan said with a nod of approval. She already knew the answer, of course. Riley had told her during their session yesterday but still, she had to ask Paige. Each girls answer could have been interpreted entirely differently and therefore, she needed to hear both girls' specific answers and the emotions behind them.

"Riley is a really talented field hockey player. So is Spencer. I'm getting better just by playing with them."

"I'm glad you and Riley have found a commonality. Will you be trying out for field hockey when school starts?" That could be a very positive step in Dr. Sullivan's opinion. She wouldn't push Paige to do so but the team camaraderie could do both girls some good.

"That's my plan." Paige looked down to her lap.

She was apprehensive of something. Dr. Sullivan discovered this gesture as one of Paige's tells. "What is bothering you, Paige? Do you not want to play field hockey? You don't have to. You and Riley can do other things together than just field hockey."

"It's not that," Paige said with a shake of her head. "School starts in a week."

"Yes…" Dr. Sullivan trailed off waiting for Paige to pick back up.

"What will we do," Paige asked.

"What will who do," Dr. Sullivan asked needing clarification from Paige.

"Me and Riley."

"What are you unsure of regarding you and Riley?" Paige was making Dr. Sullivan work to fill in these blanks. Dr. Sullivan assumed there was probably a lot that Paige was unsure of. What she is referencing right now could be any number of things.

Paige raised her arms then let them flop back down to the couch at her sides. They landed with a soft thud on the plush leather. "Look, I'm used to the whole 'new kid on the block' thing. As much as my family has moved I could go through the new school routine with my eyes closed. That's not the problem."

"What IS new to me is having a sister. Having a sister in a school where everyone already knows her. They also know that before summer break, she didn't have a sister. Not one that she knew about anyway."

As the new school year has approached this one thing has stuck in Paige's mind like a splinter just under the skins surface. She's left it there trying not to think about it. Her lack of attention to the prickly irritation has allowed it to grow until now it's to the point of a constant sting…a thought in the back of her mind that she can't shake.

"I see," Dr. Sullivan said as she removed her glasses and absent-mindedly tapped them in the palm of her left hand. To her surprise she really had not anticipated this from Paige. It hadn't occurred to her that this could be an issue.

"It's gonna be weird, right," Paige explained. "Do we tell people or not? And if we don't right away and people find out anyway…then what? We look like we're hiding it. Here I will be the new kid in school then couple that with Riley's surprise sister. I can only imagine," Paige finished with a roll of her eyes.

The scenes flashing through Paige's mind were not pleasant. Many of them involved hushed whispers between groups huddled together. Fingers pointed in her direction as a big neon sign flashed above her head with an arrow pointing down that read, "I'm the one!" Stares coming from every direction while she walked down the hall as people judged her and her situation. The virtual strangers who would ask her invasive, idiotic questions that she wouldn't know how to answer and wouldn't want to answer. Paige knew these daydreams were ludicrous. She hoped so anyway; the neon sign hovering above her head was for sure, at least.

"It's not weird; it's not fodder for gossip. It's your life and the reality of your circumstances." Dr. Sullivan sat down her iPad and wheeled her chair closer to Paige. "Finding out that you and Riley are sisters is only one part of this story Paige, one chapter," she said as she held up the pointer finger on her right hand. "As the pages turn you two are going to experience more and more scenarios. The beauty of it is that you and Riley will go through this together. Decide jointly what you choose to do and then be there for each other as you proceed."

Dr. Sullivan let that settle for a second before she continued. She kept eye contact with Paige as she made her next point, "I won't tell you what to do, Paige. This is yours and Riley's decision. But I do want you to consider this: would you rather it is you and Riley controlling the story or someone else?"

Paige shrugged her shoulders. Was this multiple choice? Because if so she chooses "none of the above."

"Talk to Riley. We'll discuss your decision next week." Dr. Sullivan made a note on her iPad to ensure she would remember to ask Paige during their next session.

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Paige's appointment with Dr. Sullivan was three days ago, and she has yet to broach the school subject with Riley. Is the other girl not thinking the same things? Riley hasn't said one word to Paige about having any similar worries. How could she not be? Maybe it's different for Riley since Rosewood High won't be new turf for her. She doesn't have to introduce herself to anyone. Most kids in her grade probably already know Riley or at least know of her. That's not the case for Paige.

And if she and Riley do decide to just put it out there, what do they say? How do you even talk about this to people without it sounding almost unbelievable? Because that's what this is. TV movies are made of topics like this, not real life. Yet here Paige is, smack in the middle of "real life" and this is indeed her reality…her and Riley's.

On Monday, when school starts, should Paige bounce up into the halls of Rosewood High like, "Hey, I'm Paige McCullers; new to Rosewood. And P.S, Riley Hastings is my long-lost, previously unknown twin sister. So she's with the birth-mom, and I'm with my adopted parents. You know how that goes. What's up with you?"

Will it be that simple? Will all of the other kids take it as fact and leave them be? Paige hasn't really gotten to know anyone else in Rosewood besides Emily, Riley, Spencer, Hanna and Aria. Would everyone else be as chill and understanding as this group? Somehow, Paige doubted that could be true. High school is the stomping ground for teenagers after all.

Paige thought about all of this as she and Emily sat on Emily's window seat in her bedroom. Paige's back was leaning against the wall. Her legs were outstretched in front of her. Emily lay in between them with her back against Paige's chest. Paige drew lazy circles on Emily's bicep with her fingertips as they enjoyed each other's company. It was Saturday, and they had plans to spend the afternoon and evening together.

Emily's eyes were getting droopy as she rested against Paige's warm body. The silence between them was comfortable. Neither girl felt the need to fill it with words. Their presence alone was enough. Emily could feel Paige's heartbeat thump-thumping on her back. The steady rhythm was soothing, just as the brush of Paige's fingertips on her arms was.

They've only been on one official date. Still, their connection is remarkably strong. Emily thought of this as she drew a smiley face around Paige's right kneecap. She smiled to herself as she did so.

Paige's voice in Emily's ear brought her attention back to the here and now. "I can't believe school starts on Monday."

Emily sighed, "I know. The summer went by so fast." Emily turned a little so she could see at least the side of Paige's face. "Are you excited?"

Paige scrunched her face up. "Excited might be too strong a word."

Emily squeezed Paige's leg in support. "It won't be that bad. You already know me and the group. Plus when you start field hockey you'll get to know even more girls from our class." But hopefully not too well she thought to herself. They've not had any discussions as to what their status is.

Paige shrugged her shoulders. Emily's head bobbed on her chest as she did so. "It's not that. I'm used to the new school thing."

Emily turned fully now towards Paige. A look of concern crossed her features. "What is it then? Anything I can do?" Emily really would do just about anything for Paige if she could.

Paige began tracing more patterns along Emily's arm as she thought about how to talk to Emily about this. Usually Paige is a fairly confident person, or at least she is now. That used to not be the case even 2 to 3 years ago. She has the same insecurities as most teenagers do…but this was nothing like what most teenagers must face.

"I talked to Dr. Sullivan a couple days ago about some concerns I have with starting school." She waited a beat. "It's just; you and your friends have been so great. When Riley and I found out about being sisters, y'all didn't blink an eye. At least not outwardly." Paige laughed. "Hanna has asked some weird questions but she's done it with the best of intentions."

A frown now replaced the small smile Paige had while she was thinking about Hanna. "I don't know what the other kids at school will think though."

Emily was defiant when thinking about other students at Rosewood High and what they would think. It's none of their business and they can damn well keep their opinions to themselves. "Who cares what they think?" One of Emily's strongest character traits is loyalty. She will go through hell and back for someone she cares about. If someone were to even think of harassing Paige Emily would shut it down without hesitation.

Paige shook her head. "Normally I wouldn't. But I guess this doesn't feel normal. I'm going to be the new girl in school with a jacked up family and a surprise sister. I'm not even sure Riley and I should say anything."

Emily sat up and took Paige's hand. "First off, this may be different and unexpected, but don't think of what's happening as abnormal. Every family goes through stuff from time to time. There are just varying degrees and causes."

Paige dipped her head. Emily caught her chin and tilted it back up for Paige to make eye contact with her. "Secondly, I learned a long time ago that it's never good nor is it healthy to hide who you are. You and Riley are sisters, you're twins. It's pretty cool, really. This is who you are, Paige." Emily wasn't trying to tell her what to do but it was clear that Paige wanted her advice. "What did Dr. Sullivan say?"

"She said I should talk to Riley. That she and I should decide together and then be there for each other." Paige picked at her fingernail then stopped abruptly when she thought of her mother constantly telling her not to. "She asked if I would rather be the one to control the story and tell it, or have it come out regardless and then watch everything unfold."

"And….?

"I mean, I guess I'd rather be the one to put it out there. Me and Riley, that is. I don't even know how to tell people or where to start. I don't need everyone knowing my whole life story."

Emily kissed Paige's check. She understood where Paige was coming from. "You and Riley will figure it out. Everything will be fine, Paige. And I'll be here for you for whatever you need."

Paige hugged Emily tightly to her as the girl settled back in between her legs. "Thanks, Emily. I really appreciate that."

Paige's outlook had already improved slightly just from talking everything through with Emily. Riley and she would come up with a plan and carry forward from there. The idea of she and her sister having each other's backs was comforting. A little sad too, maybe. They could have been there for each other the past 17 years.

"What did you mean when you said you'd learned that it wasn't good to hide who you are?" The way Emily had said it made Paige feel as though there was a memory in the past that was not altogether pleasant for Emily. Paige didn't want to pry but if whatever it was still bothered Emily, Paige wanted to be there for her. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want," Paige made sure to point out.

"It's ok, I don't mind," Emily said.

She looked outside to the tree lined street below her bedroom window. Rosewood is the ideal small town environment. The schools are good. Rosewood is relatively safe. The neighborhoods are picturesque. Life is quiet and quaint for the most part.

And that's just the problem for a young teen who is wrestling with their sexuality. At that time in her life Emily's world suddenly didn't feel so comfortable anymore. "Could people tell when they looked at her?" The kids at school must have surely known that something was different about her.

The picturesque town transformed into a minefield. Emily tip-toed through her early teens always cognizant of never putting one foot out of place. One misstep, one word taken the wrong way, one stare at a girl for a millisecond too long and BOOM…her world explodes.

That's how Emily felt anyway. So she hid who she was. Emily denied herself the freedom to be authentic. She dated a few boys. And had secret crushes on girls. She kissed so-called "hot" boys. And thought of how different a girls lips might feel…how much better could that be. She listened while her parents, mostly her mother, talked about this "gay thing" and that "gay thing" from the news. And she cringed at the venom and admonishment in her mother's tone. Yet all the while Emily Fields didn't feel like Emily Fields. She felt like a paper cutout. All flat, non-dimensional and easily folded and creased into whatever was expected of her.

"I don't know what coming out was like for you, Paige, but for me it was not a good experience. I didn't come out of the closet; I fell out on my face."

Emily didn't like using phrases like "coming out" or being "in the closet." She didn't so much "come out of the closet." Emily came out of herself; out of the fake façade; out of hiding; out of the cuffs that bound her to a life that was not her own.

The girl that she projected was not truly who Emily Fields was. Looking back, Emily realized she was like one of those Russian Nesting Dolls; the wooden dolls that decrease in size and fit within each other. The first time she admitted, really admitted, to herself that she does in fact feel an attraction to other girls, the façade opened and there was a new Emily…a more real Emily. With each new step she took towards authenticity, a better Emily…a more true to life Emily, was revealed. Now at the center, to the core of who she is, Emily is happy. Being gay certainly doesn't define her but it is undoubtedly a part of her being.

Paige listened intently while Emily spoke. Emily took a large breath and continued. "My parents found out when my mom was doing my laundry. I had tucked a note from a girl I liked into the back pocket of my jeans. Stupid me forgot to take it out."

"Your mom found it," Paige said then held her breath. It wasn't so much a question as it was a prediction of the outcome.

"Boy did she. The letter was innocent enough. A girl at school had wrote to me and told me she thought I was pretty. I was giddy with excitement when I got the letter. For the first time ever I'd allowed myself to entertain this as a possibility." Emily had let the past go but that didn't mean talking about this was easy.

Emily's muscles in her neck and shoulders tensed as she continued speaking. She looked to her bedroom door lost in the memory. "My mom came barging into my room with the letter. She asked, no demanded, to know what it was about. I was just so tired of hiding. I told her the girl liked me, and I liked her too. That was the first time I'd ever admitted to anyone that I am gay."

Paige blew out the breath she was inadvertently still holding. "How did your mom and dad take it?" Paige had a feeling it wasn't great.

Emily could kind of joke about it now. "Let's just say I thought my dad was going to be called to active duty for World War Three in his own living room." She chuckled. "It didn't go great."

"I'm sorry," Paige said wrapping her arms around Emily and holding tightly.

Emily rested her hands on Paige's strong forearms. The security of being wrapped in Paige's arms eased the tension that had found its way into her body. "It's ok. Things are better now. Kaci, the girl who wrote the letter, and I started dating right after that. She was my first girlfriend. It felt so wonderful to finally walk around holding my girlfriends hand. After that, the more people I told, the easier it became. I believe it will be the same for you and Riley once you begin telling everyone you're sisters."

"Thanks for telling me. I hope you're right."

Emily turned back around to face Paige. She looked into Paige's eyes as she cupped her cheek and encouraged the girl closer. "I am," she whispered softly yet resolutely.

She kissed Paige then, deeply and with intention. No more talking for a while. For now, everything that needed to be said could be done so with feather-light touches that makes your nerves hum to life, penetrating looks that reach your very soul and kisses that feel so right you wonder how you had gone a day in your life without them.