Thank you to all my reviewers! Hope you like this chapter, plenty of goings-on!

"Ahh!" I screamed the second I was inside my apartment, throwing my body at the wall and coming pretty close to putting my fist through the drywall. God damnit it! I cursed, sliding down the wall to hold my face in my hands. How could I have been so stupid? Why had I done that, what the hell was wrong with me.

A few tears tracked down my cheeks. What was wrong with me? Was I such an awful person, such a screwed up, ugly mess that he had been repulsed by me, shoving me away like I had forced myself upon him? By now I was sobbing openly, all the carefully patched holes that I'd mended over the last two years were now ripped and gaping at their seams. I stumbled to my feet, desperate to find an outlet to the pain. I found myself in the bathroom with a razorblade pinched between my thumb and forefinger, looking at the sharp little bit of metal that had the capability to end all of this. To end the pain, the confusion and heartbreak and struggle. It could all end right now. I took a deep breath, and raised the blade.

DPOV

"Shit!" I growled in Russian, stalking over and slamming the door shut, locking it behind me. I swung around and punched the wall, hearing a cracking sound as my fist crashed through the plasterboard leaving cracks all down the wall. Why had I done that? I sighed to myself. No. It wasn't about what I had done, but what I hadn't done. I hadn't told Rose how I felt about her, because this wasn't about me. I hadn't been there for her, I hadn't done what I was always telling her to do and been brave enough to show my own emotions. She was right. I was a hypocrite. And when she had shown emotion, when she had-kissed me back, I had gone and screwed it up so badly I doubted she would ever want to see me again. Nice work, sport, I congratulated myself.

Shaking, I sat down and put my head in my hands. I had finally done it. I had finally done what I'd longed to do for so long, and this was the result. Although what I had for so long wanted to do-kiss her-didn't involve me pushing her away and slamming the door in my face. I should never have done it, I should have kept myself under tighter control. But there was something about Rose that undid all of my defences and put me into dangerous territory, territory where if I wasn't careful I would end up destroying both of us. There was a knock at my door, and warily, I opened it, surprised as Yeva, my eighty-five year old grandmother, stalked into the room and slammed the door behind her. To put it simply, she looked pissed off. She swung around and caught me with her walking stick on the jaw, then whacked me sideways across the stomach with it, making me stumble into a wall.

"You stupid, stupid fool," she hissed.

"Yeva, I-"

"Shut up, boy," she growled, poking me in the chest with her stick. "Your behaviour was abysmal. I expected far more from you. The girl needs you, and you turned your back on her," she spat.

"For the record," I said, wincing. "You drove a hundred miles for this?"

"This might just be the difference between life and death," she snapped. "You owe her, Dimitri. After everything, you owe her." She poked me one last time. "Now you go and make things right. Or I will hurt you," she promised, and then walked calmly back out of my office. I shook my head in amazement, but knew enough not to cross her. I took off running down the street, hoping to god I could make this right before something bad happened.

RPOV

I raised the blade, and then put it down. No. I couldn't let one person have this effect on me. I couldn't let somebody else drive me to this point, regardless of how much it hurt. I'd find a way to survive. I'd maybe even talk to him. I heard banging on my door before it was broken down-literally, body-slammed off its hinges, and I watched in amazement as a wild-eyed Dimitri hurled through the door.

"Rose! I didn't-"

"Don't," I spat. "Get the hell out of here, you have no right." His face fell and his expression was pained.

"Roza, I'm so-"

"Don't call me Roza!" I screamed at the top of my lungs." I'm sick of you and your freaking mixed signals. I'm sick of you being such an ass. Get the hell out of this building before I set you on fire!" I yelled.

"Rose, I was wrong. I'm so sorry. It should have never happened, I wasn't thinking," he said, and I froze. He looked horrified, clearly thinking about what he'd just said.

"You weren't thinking," I said calmly." Of course. Because that's the only way you'd ever even consider kissing me." He looked at me wide-eyed, for once, seeming completely helpless.

"I didn't mean it like that. You know that, Rose."

"I don't know anything anymore," I said tiredly. "But sure. Whatever. It was a mistake." I chuckled darkly. "Clearly it would have never happened if you were in your right mind." I paused to consider that.

"You know, that's exactly what Jesse told me. Look what happened when I believed him. He did it again." A look of such pain, such heart-wrenching misery crossed Dimitri's face I almost felt bad. Almost. Not quite, though.

"No. It was wrong because it was impulsive and reckless. It was wrong because you don't feel the same way about me that I do about you," he said heavily, running a hand through his hair. I paused, understanding. He felt guilty because he thought it would screw me up. Because he thought I didn't need him.

"You are bat shit insane! I said my voice raising. How are you so stupid, Dimitri Belikov? I've loved you from the very first day!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. "But clearly, kissing me was a lapse of judgement on your part, so get out of my apartment before I have you arrested!" When he hesitated, I took the blow torch out of my pocket and flicked it on, proceeding to chase him swearing to the door. He crossed the threshold and I stopped. He raised his hands warily.

"Just let me put the door back on," he told me and I fixed him with the coldest stare I could.

"Go ahead," I told him, and easily he lifted the door back onto its hinges. He met my eyes after he did so, but I couldn't hold his gaze, so instead I grasped the doorknob and swung it shut in his face.

I stalked into my bedroom and grabbed my phone. A huge part of me was screaming at me to call Lissa, but I couldn't right now. A wave of misery washed over me. So it was a mistake. Clearly, I was way too screwed up for him to think of me that way. Clearly, as had been proved to me so many times, I wasn't worth his time, his love. I was worthless, simply, as the girl from the strip club had so matter-of-factly informed me, a "piece of ass." That was all I had ever been, and all I'd ever be. I just had to accept it, and stop thinking I was better than it, because clearly, I wasn't. I picked up my phone and dialled Raya's number.

"Rose?"

"Hey, Raya, I'll take that shift tonight," I said, a little robotically.

"Are you sure? It's gonna get real heavy, I'm not going to lie. And you know they'll ask you to dance." I shrugged. Just a piece of ass, right? In that case, I might as well.

"It's fine. I'll be fine," I said numbly, and then hung up, gazing aimlessly at the ceiling.

Raya hadn't lied. It was heavy. The atmosphere was heavy with alcohol and sex, the customers were from out of town, even cruder and more perverted than I had remembered. As I worked, I didn't even feel human, I just felt…numb. Kind of dead, actually. In the beginning, doing this had hurt; the level of degradation had hurt my pride, but not anymore. I danced for at least three hours, worked the bar for another two and then wandered around serving drinks for a while, as well. It was at least two in the morning when I stumbled from the club, not bothering to take off my heels, but just draped a coat around myself, the blaring club music still ringing in my ears. I shoved my hands in my pockets and began the ten-minute walk home.

It was far too late I heard the tinkle of the convenience store bell. I wasn't looking up, I was looking at the pavement, willing myself to take one more step, one more step. By the time I looked up, he was right in front of me, holding a brown paper bag in one hand, peering confusedly at me.

"Rose?" Dimitri asked, and I groaned in my head. Fuck. This was just great.

"Dr. Belikov," I said curtly. "Fancy seeing you here," I said, and sidestepped, but he did too.

"Did you just come out of that club?" He asked.

"So what if I did?" I spat, trying to buy some time.

"Hey, Rose! Great dance!" One of the girls yelled at me from across the street. Dimitri frowned.

"Dance?" He repeated.

"Rose, see you at five for our shift tomorrow!" Raya called and waved, stumbling across the road. Dimitri's eyes widened.

"Shift?" He asked. Maybe it was the alcohol in me, but I laughed carelessly and threw off my coat, revealing the poor excuse for a uniform with the name of the club splayed in huge letters across my chest and ass.

"You like, Comrade?" I asked in a singsong voice, but he was speechless. I mock-frowned. "You seem surprised. Can't think why." I shrugged, throwing my coat over my shoulder and continuing on my way. I glanced over my shoulder to see him staring at me, still in shock.

"After all, I'm just a piece of ass, right?" I tossed over my shoulder, and then stalked away home, his dumbfounded expression forefront in my mind. There would be hell to pay for this, but my god, it had been fun while it lasted.

So I'm pretty happy with this chapter, quite a lot happened!…hahah I love Yeva…Dimitri is such an ASS! But I do get where he's coming from. I'm glad Rose decided not to do anything like cut herself, that would only have made it worse. So there was a bit of drama in here and PLENTY more to come! Rose and Dimitri's troubles are only just beginning :)

Until next time, please review! I'm aiming to get to at least 100 reviews with this chapter!

Em xx