Between breaths, they come to the realization that most of them have never really experienced Christmas.
Natasha, for her part, just flips her hair and shrugs, "I never really saw the need," she shrugs, clearly uninterested in the subject.
Bruce shuffled and played nervously with the cuff of his sleeve, smiling awkwardly as he answered, "I celebrated it before, it's just that after the incident..."
Thor, for his part, had an excuse. "Is it a Midgardian celebration?" He asked curiously over a stack of pancakes.
Tony hadn't bothered to really do much, saying, "I just buy people cool gifts, right? It's not like there's much else to do. Christmas is just about sending the coolest gifts or whatever, yeah?"
Vision is also pretty obvious. "It's just a consumerist holiday," he says lightly, "Mainly for the children, really."
Wanda taps a finger against her leg and smiles awkwardly, "We were so consumed... I was so consumed by the desire for revenge that I guess I sort of..." Her gaze flickers, lowers, and she sighs.
Clint laughs, "Last Christmas, I got attacked by Russian ninjas." They decide not to pursue that particular story.
Steve and Bucky both laugh, "Last Christmas... well, last one that I remember, I mean... I think I managed to get some bread," Steve says fondly and Bucky nods, "I got half of it. It was great."
Therefore, the two only "normal" members of the team, Peter and Sam, begin to plot together. "Steve was happy about a loaf of bread!" Sam hisses, "Bread!"
"It was the Great Depression," Peter points out, and Sam narrows his eyes.
"Not. The. Point."
"Right," Peter shifts his fingers along the cuff of his sleeves and frowns, "Mr. Stark seems to think that Christmas is just about the money."
"They're all idiots," Sam muses.
"Yeah," Peter agrees, "Guess we'll just have to show them what Christmas is really about, yeah?"
Sam grins, sharp teeth and wide lips, "Oh yeah."
Operation Make Christmas Awesome begins with coercing Tony, Steve and Bucky into making cookies, which Sam decides to oversee.
"Wait, first, put on this," Tony hands Sam some goggles, "And try not to stand so close that I can burn your face off."
"Duly noted," Sam answers drily, "I'm here to talk to you about making some cookies with me."
"Making cookies?" Tony raises an eyebrow, "Why?"
"Because Christmas is a time where you make cookies," Sam answers, laughing when Tony's face scrunches up, "It's tradition."
"Christmas is just like any other time, though," Tony shrugs and continues welding, "If you want cookies, I can import some from Europe for you. Most of my girlfriends before liked them, so they're probably high quality."
Sam buries his face in his hands and thinks Lord above help me please thanks amen. Outwardly, he says, "It's not about the cookies, Tony."
Tony shrugs and keeps welding, "Of course not. It's about getting cool stuff."
Sam wants to rip the welding machine from Tony's hands and just shake him, then hug him, because Sam is a Complex Human Being. "It's not about the cool stuff, Tony. And it's not about anything to do with money, either. It's about spending time with people that are important to you."
Tony's hand finally, finally stills and he turns off the welding machine. "I'm not that important," he answers, soft and unsure.
"Sorry to break it to you, but you kind of are." Sam pats Tony's shoulder, "I know, it's very strange to live with the knowledge that people care about you. Take it in. We're making cookies at 12, and if you're late, I will find you and drag you there myself."
"Like you could," Tony teases, but there's a small, pleased smile playing on the edges of his lips.
Oh yes, Sam thinks, I could work with this.
Steve and Bucky, for their part, agree easily enough, with enough excitement for multiple small children.
"Cookies!" Bucky exclaims, too caught up in rapturous wonder to do anything but laugh. "Aw man, only the really rich people got that stuff!" He glances at Tony, and he shifts his feet awkwardly, laughing, "I guess we're kind of rich now."
"Anyone can get cookies," Peter answers quietly, nudging Bucky and smiling softly, "Especially Earth's Mightiest Heroes."
Bucky turns bright red, a shy smile pulling at the edges of his lips. "Yeah, we totally deserve cookies."
"Not without helping," Sam teases, "I can't bake enough for all of you black holes by myself."
"Of course!" Steve says quickly.
"I'm joking," Sam, already used to Steve taking things a tad too seriously, flicks him on the forehead. "You get cookies whether you help or not. We'd just be pleased to have the pleasure of your company, is all."
"Yeah, it's not every day that you get the chance to bake cookies with Captain America," Peter jokes.
Tony uses Peter's head as an armrest and grins, "What, not geeking out about baking cookies with Iron Man?"
"You'd do anything with me, and you know it," Peter answers lightly.
Tony smiles sheepishly, knowing that he can't even argue that. "Alright, fine, kid, you got me. So, what kind of cookies are we making?"
They ambush Natasha and Clint at the training grounds.
"Oh my Pythagorean," Peter groans, rubbing two fingers into his temples, "It's Christmas. What are you doing?"
"Christmas is just another date on the calendar," Natasha says, flipping over Clint and knocking his knees from under him.
Clint falls forwards, hooking his knees to smash his feet into Natasha. She jumps up and he flips up fast enough to tackle her midair, "Can't slack on training," he agrees, smiling easily as they fall down in a (somehow elegant) tumble of limbs.
Peter jumps on to the mat and lands on Clint's back, "It's not slacking," He whines, "It's called taking a break. Your muscles can't get stronger without you letting them rest, you know."
Clint makes a big show of staggering under Peter's weight, despite Peter knowing that he can carry around Bucky effortlessly. "Right, kid, and I'm sure that your motivations are purely for the sake of efficiency."
"Completely," Peter agrees, baring his teeth into a grin.
"Come on, kid, it's just a holiday," Natasha raised an eyebrow, "You can't let your guard down."
Peter puffs his cheeks out and shakes his head, "It's not about letting your guard down. It's just about being... happy."
"I am happy," Natasha raises an eyebrow.
"It's about spending time with family."
"It's about consumerism."
"I guess you don't want the new ankle weights that I bought you, then..."
"Let's not be hasty."
Peter grins, knowing that Natasha has given in, "We're watching Elf at 7. There will be 10 different types of cookies."
Clint, of course, immediately begins to protest, "Wait, kid, we didn't agree to..."
"Love you, bye!"
And he's zoomed away, laughing all the while.
Wanda doesn't quite know what to make of the tree in the living room or the stacks of presents beneath it.
"Oh, I don't know," she tells Peter and Thor, gesturing with a hand, "It all just seems so... I don't know... grandiose. Like a little man puffing out his chest to try and seem bigger than he truly is."
"All the gifts?" Thor asks, tilting his head to look at them. "I can understand having so many as a show of display, but it seems impractical to give gifts such like this when you could just as easily hang a giant's head above your door."
Peter, being the only sensible and sane one of the group, buries his face in his hands and shakes his head. "It's not about a show of power, or puffing out your chest," he answers, twisting the hem of his shirt. "It's about giving to people because you love them, and you want to give gifts. As for why there's so many, there are..." He does a mental tally, "Like, 11 of us. And if everyone gets someone else a gift..." He shrugs, "That's a lot of gifts."
Wanda lowers her eyes and smiles, "So you simply buy things for others because you love them? No other reason or rhyme?"
"No, it must be like a bartering system," Thor rubs his chin, "For example, if I do not give the Man of Iron his gift, he will not give me mine."
"No, it's not like that!" Peter is quick to interject, waving his hands and shaking his head. "It's just about giving for the sake of giving. Like Wanda, the other day, you gave Bucky some of your bread, right?"
Wanda blinks and nods, "Yeah."
"Why?" Peter asks, leaning forward and raising his eyebrow.
"Because eating bread made him... oh, I think I understand now."
"Yeah," Peter leans back and grins, satisfied, "Christmas isn't about the gifts. It's about being with the people that you love, and trying to make them smile just for the sake of it all."
"It sounds wonderful," Thor says softly, and Peter squeezes his hand.
"I'm glad that you're here with us," he says, and Thor smiles back.
Bruce and Vision are recruited to help set up the tree.
"I don't see the point of this," Vision muses, "I just can't logically understand how this will be efficient or helpful to anything at all."
"It's like when we play board games together," Sam explains, looping some tinsel around the base of the tree, "It's not meant to be efficient or really helpful to anything. It's just meant for us to be together, and to be happy."
"So it's a bonding exercise," Bruce concludes, and Sam can't help but laugh at that.
"Not exactly an exercise," He grins, "You make it sound like a chore. We like to be with you, just for the sake of being with you."
"Oh," Bruce falls silent and hangs up yet another ornament. "Well, I, um, like being with you, too."
"Thanks, man," Sam grins and thinks, maybe they'll experience a good Christmas after all.
Between breaths, they watch Elf and chuck cookies at each other.