"Dear god!" moaned Blackadder, as he stood by the bar in Flashheart Hall.
"What's the matter?" asked Baldrick.
"I can't believe this," said Blackadder.
"Believe what?" asked Baldrick.
"I'm just a waiter working in that mansion was once mine," explained Blackadder. "Flashheart has been promoted to Duke. Everyone has got a medal from the Queen of England for their service for returning all the crown jewels in the world and saving the world except me. Even Bean's teddy bear has got one."
Bean was sitting on a table playing with his medal in front of Teddy, who also had a medal just as large and bright as his.
"Flashheart has turned my once lovely gorgeous, posh dining room with a big chandelier into a disco room with smelly bar tables and chairs and with loud annoying music," went on Blackadder.
"Oh, it's not nasty music," said Baldrick. "It's Smash Mouth!"
Smash Mouth was playing All Star on the wooden stage.
"And worst of all," went on Blackadder, "my boss is – "
"Be careful of what you say, Blackadder," warned Baldrick. "You can either work here in your favorite place under my rules or you can go and beg for a job somewhere. Now, get back to work!"
"Yes, sir," sighed Blackadder. Then he picked up a tray of drinks and started working around Flash's Disco; the name of the room that Flash called it. He went to Bean's table and serviced him a glass of red wine and gave a glass of fluff and stuffing to Teddy, which is what Bean ordered for him.
As Blackadder left, Bean took a sip of wine and spat it back in his glass. He didn't like it. He looked around and saw a bottle of champagne on the table where Fowler and Dawkins were sitting. While they were praying, Bean put his glass next to Dawkins and took her champagne glass.
"Well, a toast to a mission accomplished," smiled Fowler as he picked up his glass.
He and Dawkins toasted with their glasses and took a sip.
Dawkins coughed. "Raymond, this is red wine!"
Fowler looked at her glass. "So it is."
"You promised me champagne!" yelled Dawkins.
"Keep your voice down, Patricia," said Fowler. "We'll find out who took your glass."
They looked around and saw Campbell having a glass at the bar. She immediately walked to her.
"Can I help you, Sergeant?" asked Campbell.
"You can help by giving me my glass back," said Dawkins.
"This is mine," protested Campbell.
"Fine," said Dawkins, getting out a pair of handcuffs. "Then you're under arrest."
Campbell grabbed the handcuffs and threw Dawkins to the middle of the disco. Campbell got up and jumped onto Campbell.
Everyone was shocked at seeing the two women fighting, except one.
"All right!" cheered Flashheart. "Yeah, fight, girls. Fight! Fight! Fight!"
Then everyone was shouting, "Fight! Fight! Fight!"
"Fight harder!" yelled Kray.
Everyone was enjoying the ladies fighting, including the Gasforth police.
Blackadder went back to the bar.
"Blackadder," called Baldrick. "What kind of wine did you get?"
"Why, the normal kind, sir," replied Blackadder. "Jacob's Creek, Hardy's, etc. Here, try this wine for yourself."
Blackadder passed a glass of red wine to Baldrick.
"Okay," smiled Baldrick. He took a slip. He seemed to be all right.
"So how do you feel, sir?" asked Blackadder.
"I feel like I'm ready to…" Baldrick said that very quietly. Then his eyes widened. "PARTY!"
Then he stripped his shirt and joined the mad party.
Blackadder's phone rang. He went out of the disco room and into the more posh hallway.
"Hello," said Blackadder. "Yes, those pills I put in all the alcohol have done the trick. You certainly got your money's worth and I finally got my mansion back."
Blackadder smiled with pride as he turned the phone off and headed up the grand stairs.
THE END
CAST LIST
Rowan Atkinson Characters
Live Action Characters
Blackadder
Modern Blackadder
Prince Edmund (The Black Adder)
Edmund Blackadder, Esq. (Blackadder the Third)
Captain Edmund Blackadder (Blackadder Goes Fourth)
Mr. Bean
Mr. Bean
Johnny English
Johnny English
Thin Blue Line
Inspector Fowler
Rat Race
Enrico Pollini
Cartoon Characters
The Lion King
Zazu
Non Rowan Atkinson Characters
Live Action Characters
Blackadder
Tony Robinson as:
Bog Off Baldrick (Modern Baldrick)
Medieval Baldrick (The Black Adder)
Georgian Baldrick (Blackadder the Third)
Private Baldrick (Blackadder Goes Fourth)
Stephen Fry as:
Lord Melchett (Blackadder II)
General Melchett (Blackadder Goes Fourth)
Tim McInnerny as:
Medieval Percy (Blackadder II)
Captain Darling (Blackadder Goes Fourth)
Hugh Laurie as:
Prince George (Blackadder the Third)
Lieutenant George (Blackadder Goes Fourth)
Others:
Brian Blessed as King Richard IV (The Black Adder)
Robert Eastman as Prince Harry (The Black Adder)
Miranda Richardson as Queen Elizabeth I (Blackadder II)
Pastry Burne as Nursie/Bernard (Blackadder II)
Helen Atkinson-Wood as Mrs. Miggins (Blackadder the Third)
Jeremy Hardy as Perkins the guard (Blackadder Goes Fourth)
Mr. Bean
Teddy as himself
Johnny English
Ben Miller as Bough
Daniel Kaluuya as Tucker
Natalie Imbruglia as Laura Campbell
John Malkovich as Pascal Sauvage
The Thin Blue Line
Serena Evans as Sergeant Dawkins
James Dreyfus as Constable Goody
Mina Anwar as Constable Habib
Rudolf Walker as Constable Gladstone
David Haig as DI Grim
Kevin Allen DC Kray
Mark Addy as DC Boyle
The Witches
Anjelica Huston as The Grand Witch
The Witches
Rat Race
John Cleese as Donald Sinclair
Others
Mr. Blobby (as himself)
Smash Mouth (as themselves)
Cartoon Characters
The Lion King
Simba
Nala
Timon
Pumbaa
Rafiki
Scar
Hyenas
Scooby Doo
Scooby Doo
Shaggy Rogers
Fred Jones
Daphne Blake
Velma Dinkley
Scrappy Doo
CREDITS
Written by Bobby South
Blackadder created by Richard Curtis, Ben Elton and Rowan Atkinson
Mr. Bean created by Richard Curtis and Rowan Atkinson
Johnny English created by Neal Purvis, Robert Wade and William Davies
The Thin Blue Line created by Ben Elton
Scooby Doo created by Hanna-Barbera Productions
The Witches based on the novel by Roald Dahl
The Lion King written by Irene Mecchi, Jonathan Roberts and Linda Woolverton
Rat Race written by Andy Breckman
Mr. Blobby created by Charlie Adams