Chapter 10

Puck winced as he cracked a stiff muscle in his neck. It popped loudly, making him glance over at Rachel to see if he had woken her up. He hadn't. She was still sitting in a chair pulled up next to Christopher's bed, bent at the waist with her head resting on the bed. He winced, knowing she was going to be sore when she woke up. His gaze turned the Christopher and he started slightly when he realized the little boy was awake and looking around the room.

He got up slowly, approaching the bed. "Hey, buddy," he said softly, not wanting to disturb Rachel.

The little boy reached up and pulled the oxygen mask aside. "Noah."

Puck smiled down at the little boy. "Yeah. How are you feeling, Christopher?"

"I saw them," Christopher said hoarsely. "They want me to go with them."

Puck looked at him in confusion. "Who wants you to go with them?"

"The angels," Christopher said seriously, his voice little more than a whisper. "They want me to go with them."

Puck swallowed over the sudden lump in his throat. "Why do they want you to go with them?"

"I don't know. But I can't go."

"Why's that?"

Christopher looked him dead in the eye. "Because I have to take care of Mommy," he said. "If I go with them, who will take care of Mommy?"

Puck blinked back the moisture that sprung to his eyes. "Your mom needs you," he said hoarsely.

"Will you take care of her, Noah?" Christopher asked, looking over at his mom. "If I go with the angels, will you take care of Mommy?"

Puck looked at the little boy, not sure what to say. He couldn't even believe he was having this conversation. "Yeah, buddy, I will. I'll take care of her. But you need to stick around, ok? Because there is no one she wants to take care of her more than you."

"I'm tired, Noah," Christopher said weakly.

Puck went cold all over and for the first time he thought that maybe this wasn't all going to end up so well. "It's ok," he soothed. "Just rest. Your mom's here and I'm here. Just rest."

Christopher's eyes were closed before he even finished his sentence.

33333

The first thing Rachel was aware of when she woke up was that her neck was so stiff she couldn't move it very much. She sat up slowly, smothering a groan when the muscles in her back cracked in protest.

She saw Noah dozing in a chair on the other side of the bed and she remembered the events earlier in the day. She put a cool hand to her son's forehead, frowning when she realized he was still warm. Her eyes flew to the monitor, but aside from the steady blip of the heat monitor, she didn't really know what any of it meant.

She stood up slowly, arching her back to stretch. She rolled her neck from side to side, trying to loosen the muscles there. She jumped when someone tapped on the door and she smiled slightly when she saw her fathers standing in the hallway.

She closed the door softly behind her as she joined them. They engulfed her immediately, sandwiching her between them and she had never felt so safe or warm in her life. She clung to them and they let her.

When she finally untangled herself she saw that they both looked exhausted and she wondered how long they had been here.

"How is he, sweetheart?" Daddy asked in a quiet voice.

"He still has a fever," Rachel said. "He's sleeping a lot. The doctor said his kidneys are being affected and they're giving him large doses of antibiotics to fight the infection."

"He's a fighter," Dad said. "He gets that from you."

Rachel gave them a watery smile. "I don't know what to do," she confessed. "I don't know how to help him. I'm his mother, I'm supposed to be able to help him."

Daddy gathered her close to him again. "I know it's hard, honey," he whispered. "I know."

"You should eat," Dad said, smoothing his hand over her hair like he used to when she was little. "Just a little something."

She shook her head. "I'm really not hungry."

"Some coffee then," Dad decided.

"Coffee would be nice," Rachel relented. "For Noah, too."

"We'll take care of it, sweetheart," Dad assured her.

"Has everyone gone home?" she asked, rubbing her eyes tiredly. "When did you guys get here?"

"A little while ago," Daddy said. "And everyone's still here."

"Really?"

He nodded. "Yes. All of your glee club members and Will and Emma are here as well. No one's going anywhere, honey."

She sighed, closing her eyes and leaning against him. "I feel so bad," she said. "They came here to get tested for a bone marrow transplant and they have to stay. This is why I didn't tell anyone. I don't want anyone feeling obligated."

Her dads exchanged a look and Dad held out his hand. "Come on," he said.

She looked at him in confusion. "What?"

"Come with me. I want to show you something"

She shook her head. "No, I need to stay with Christopher, in case something happens."

"I'll stay with him," Daddy said easily. "I'll come running if anything happens. And Noah's here too. Go with Dad, honey."

She stared at her son for a long time before nodding. "Ok," she said quietly. "But come get me the minute something happens. If he wakes up, if something goes wrong, anything."

Daddy nodded. "Of course, sweetheart. Of course."

She took Dad's hand and he led her down the hall, past the nurses' station. A tired looking nurse was sitting at the desk and she smiled sympathetically at Rachel as she passed. Rachel glanced down at her rumpled clothing, ran a hand through her messy hair. She could just imagine what she looked like.

Dad led her into the waiting room and she was surprised to see he was right: the entire glee club was there, as well as Will and Emma.

Tina saw her first. "Rachel!" she cried, running over to embrace her friend.

Rachel leaned into the embrace as her father stepped away. "Hey, Tina." Suddenly she found herself surrounded by warm bodies, arms holding her tightly. She closed her eyes against the sudden tears. "Thanks for coming," she said thickly.

"Where else would we be?" she heard Mike say behind her.

Her face crumbled and she was glad no one could see her. "Thank you," she whispered brokenly. Arms squeezed her tighter and she choked out a laugh. "I need to breathe," she joked. She was released suddenly and they all looked at her unsurely.

"You look like hell, Berry," Santana commented dryly. Rachel had long since learned the Latina didn't really have any other tone.

She ran a hand through her hair again. "Just what every girl wants to hear," she joked.

Kurt pulled her toward a chair and all but shoved her into it. "How are you doing?" he asked.

"Honestly?" She shrugged. "Been better."

Finn held out a cup of steaming coffee for her. "How's Christopher?"

"Sleeping, mostly. I need to talk to his doctor, I was sleeping too."

"I'll see if I can round him up," Dad said. "I'll be right back, sweetheart."

"Where's Puck?" Emma asked.

"He and Daddy are in with Christopher," she explained. "He was sleeping when I left and I didn't want to wake him."

"He's really good with him, isn't he?" Mercedes asked softly.

"Yeah, he's been really good to us," Rachel said with a small smile.

"And Christopher is the sweetest little boy," Quinn said. "He looks just like Rachel."

"I can't believe you kept this a secret all these years, Rachel," Kurt said. "What were you thinking?"

She shrugged, not meeting their eyes. "It was hard," she said quietly. "I wanted to focus on him and I didn't want anyone feeling sorry for us."

"I get that," Artie said quietly. "I really do. But we never got to know him and we really want to."

"I did what I thought was best," she said, refusing to apologize for her actions.

"And that's fine," Will said from behind Artie. "But they're here now and Christopher's here."

"What do you say, Rachel?" Matt said. "Can we meet your son?"

Rachel opened her mouth to answer but was cut off by her father's voice. "Rachel," Daddy said breathlessly, and her heart stopped. "Rachel, he's awake and he's asking for you."

She stood instantly, taking two steps before turning back to the group. "Let's go see Christopher," she said to them.

She led them into the room two at a time. Brittany and Santana were right behind her so she brought them in first. Puck looked at her in confusion but said nothing.

She pressed a kiss to her son's forehead, and she thought his fever might be coming down. "Christopher Bug," she said with a smile. "There are some people here to see you." She introduced the two former Cheerios and Christopher was delighted when Brittany pulled a teddy bear out of her bag.

"This is for you," she said. "His name is Francis."

Christopher cuddled the stuffed animal. "Francis?"

"Christopher," Rachel prodded gently.

"Thank you," the little boy said politely. "Francis?" he asked, after a beat.

After the Cheerios it was Matt and Mike, then Tina and Artie, Kurt and Mercedes, Finn and Quinn, and finally, Will and Emma.

"Uncle Will," Christopher said happily.

Will smiled down at his godson. "Hey, kiddo. That's a nice teddy bear you got there."

"His name is Francis," Christopher said simply.

"Francis, huh?" Will scratched his head lightly. "That's a good name."

Rachel watched them chat with a small smile on her face and Puck came up next to her, settling an arm around her shoulders. "He seems better."

Puck nodded lightly, still thinking of his conversation with the little boy earlier. "Yeah, maybe a little," he said cautiously. "I'm gonna run to the bathroom real quick, but I'll be right back, ok?"

She nodded. "That's fine."

Dad poked his head in the door. "Rach? Dr. Stevens is here if you'd like to speak with him."

Puck held the door for her and followed her to stand in front of the doctor. He nodded at them. "Rachel, how are you doing?"

"I'm fine, Dr. Stevens, how's Christopher?" she asked.

The doctor looked at her, regret evident on his face. "We're not having a lot of progress with the infection," he told her.

She frowned at him. "But I thought his fever was down, it feels down."

Dr. Stevens glanced at the chart in his hands. "They took his temp right before he woke up and it's actually a little higher than before," he informed her.

"So what do we do now?" Rachel asked. "Up the antibiotics? Use Quinn and do the transplant? What?"

"He's too weak for the transplant," Dr. Stevens said quietly. "His body would be unable to sustain the rest of the immunosupressants. And we're already giving him a heavy dose of antibiotics."

"So what can we do?" she asked again, a hint of panic in her voice.

"Not much more, I'm afraid," he said, looking at her sympathetically. "We're going to keep him on the antibiotics, maybe they'll kick in a little harder. But…well, there's not much more we can do other than make him comfortable."

Rachel blinked owlishly at him. "What are you saying?" she asked slowly.

"I'm saying that you should spend as much time with him as you can, while you can," the doctor said kindly.

"Wait, I don't understand," Puck interjected, taking in Rachel's devastated face. "It's a fever. He's awake and he's talking. And you're saying…what are you saying?"

"The infection is impacting his kidneys," Dr. Stevens explained patiently. "It's impacted his ability to produce urine, which means the kidneys have been affected. And if the kidneys are affected, his other organs will be as well, especially since the antibiotics aren't working as well as we'd hoped."

"So what does that mean?"

"His organs will start shutting down, one by one. The kidneys have already started."

"So fix it."

"They can't," Rachel snapped. "They can't fix anything."

Her dad stepped forward. "Sweetheart-"

"No, Dad, do you hear what he's saying? He's giving up. He's quitting! On my son! This is supposed to be one of the best hospitals in the country and he's giving up!" Her voice got progressively louder until she was actively yelling and he saw the rest of the glee club wander into the hall behind the doctor, eyes wide.

"We're not giving up," Dr. Stevens said firmly. "We will continue to administer antibiotics, but I want you to be prepared. He can bounce back from this but he is very weak. His body simply may not be able to fight any more."

"Stop telling me what he can't fucking do," she snapped. "Tell me something good, something useful."

"If the antibiotics kick in, his kidneys may recover," Dr. Stevens said. Puck was amazed the man was as calm as he was. He had never heard Rachel swear, ever, in the entire time he'd known her, had never seen her so angry, but the doctor took it all in stride.

"What else?"

Dr. Stevens exchanged a look with her father. "Rachel, you need to prepare yourself," he said softly. "If the antibiotics don't work, Christopher will continue to get worse. He will get weaker and experience more pain as his body continues to shut down. You may want to start thinking about your options."

Rachel glared at the doctor and said nothing. "What options?" Puck asked carefully.

"We can make him comfortable with pain medication when the time comes," Dr. Stevens said. "Eventually breathing will become difficult, then impossible on his own. We can put him on a ventilator or continue the medication to keep him comfortable."

"What can the ventilator give us?" Rachel's Dad asked.

"Time, mostly," the doctor admitted. "Most patients with Christopher's illness don't come off the ventilator on their own after we've put them on it."

"Meaning what?"

"A decision has to be made to let them go and remove the ventilator. Most patients in Christopher's condition never breathe on their own again, they don't recover, even after the ventilator."

"So we let him slip away or we prolong his suffering?" he asked.

"Basically, yes. But, as I said, we can give him medication, make him comfortable so he's not as in as much pain," Dr. Stevens said.

"You just can't make him better," Rachel said bitterly.

"Rachel, we're doing everything we can for your son," he assured her. "And we will continue to do so. I just want you to be prepared for all possible scenarios here."

She nodded coldly. "I'm going back to my son," she said, stepping around them all, ignoring the looks of her friends as she passed them and shut herself in her son's room.